Legion World Forums LEGION CLUBHOUSE The Legion of Super-Heroes Long Live the Legion! Post Your Really Bad Legion Story Ideas Here!

That's right! We've had some really crappy Legion stories over the years! This is *your* chance to come up with even crappier ones!

So, what's the worst Legion story idea you can come up with?

Lori Morning and Cub Nah join the team!

Yes! And just afterwards, the Fatal Five takes out the whole team, but the villains are ultimately defeated by Lori Morning, Cub Nah and a phalanx of Athramites!

Shadow Lass is possessed by Sun Creatures looking for a cool respite from the solar furnace! Sun Boy and Polar Boy save the day by creating the irresistable spring skiing vacation ... of space!

Proty turns out to be ALL the Legionnaires!

Except Garth.

rebooting everyone as a snake!!!

Light Lass, Phantom Girl and Shadow Lass are horrified when they each wear the SAME ball gown to the Legion Benefit Gala ... of Space! (Dream Girl foresaw this, but kept mum in order to have a good laugh at the gals' expense.) Triplicate Girl saves the day -- each of her 3 bodies wore a different outfit! The girls swap with Lu, Lu merges the 3 identical ball gowns into one, and a good time is had by all, until Ultra Boy accidentally flash vision's the ice sculpture of the Super-Moby Dick of Space.

The Lesser Darkness Saga.

Darkseid is miffed at his earlier failures on Daxam. He targets Bismoll next, but didn't realize most Bismollians cant eat anything from off-world. Frustrated, Darkseid and his slave army take over the Chinese Buffet... of Space turning it into his new evil HQ.

December 24th, 3006. Atom Girl wants to get ready for Christmas, but Brainiac 5 is making her work overtime in the lab. That night, the ghost of Dream Girl appears in front of Brainy, and tells him that he will be visited by three other ghosts...

Structurally to be a good adaptation of Dickens' tale shouldn't Marley's ghost be portrayed by Vril Dox?

The ghost of Christmas Past (who is childlike) should by Lori Morning. Nura has to be the woman Brainy once loved but destroyed in the past.

Christmas Present (a rotund bon vivant) has to be Tenzil and Chuck. They would show what Christmas is like for the Imskians and also for Brainy's now stupid relatives on Colu who aside from the drool are pretty happy and wish Uncle Brainy were there.

Christmas Future is the Time Trapper (who else?).

All the legionaires are robots created by B5 to be companions to him.

In a back up story, The All-New All-Different Fatal Five debuts with Dr. Mayavale, Omen, The Robot that Hated the Legion, Charma, and Omega.

Ferro Lad removes his mask to reveal... Sean Hannity!

I think my brain froze at the Lori Morning/Cub Nah proposal. It's pretty hard to come up with something worse than that, unless you add Jamm to the mix.

Are you trying to make this idea better or worse? I reject all your suggestions. The Ghost of Christmas Past is the Joker, the Ghost of Christmas Present is Validus and the Ghost of Christmas Future is a small tray of raspberry pudding.

My other bad story idea: during her time in the 31st century, Supergirl is called for jury duty. Imagine the hijinx when Klar (from issue #16) is elected foreman of that jury!

Brainy's mom is revealed as head of the Dark Circle!

D'oh!

When the Legion is defeated, time-travelling, possible future, grown-up versions of Lori Morning, Cub Nah, and Jamm arrive to assure that their timeline is preserved!

And Cub Nah finally reveals his purpose: he's actually the original Time Trapper of TMK reborn into this continuity, in an attempt to restructure the critical 31th century!

Supergirl turns out to be an evil Manhunter robot!

Supergirl, Shadow Lass, Saturn Girl, Braininac 5, Bouncing Boy and Ultra Boy are all kidnapped by the evil Host and sent to the survivor planetoid. Once there they are told to sing and dance for the benefit of a panel of Khund judges. There is an info net vote with races from the Empire to the Dominion phoning in. The loser faces eviction following an interview with an evil industrialist with a very bad wig who finished the ritual humiliation with the phrase “you’re fired” at which point the loser is fitted into super cannon of space and fired into the nearest sun.

RJ Brande is everyone's father!

I'm halfway expecting Barry Kitson to post in this thread saying that a couple of our ideas are actually already in the works.

The Legion get infected with the zoozoo virus and turn into the Legion of Super Pet Heroes! Get ready for Sparky the Lightning Dog, Bouncing Manatee, Matter-Eater Monkey, Phantom Pig and Ultra Boar!

While investigating the death of a museum curator, the Legion discovers clues hidden in the works of Leonardo da Vinci that reveal a conspiracy by the Catholic Church to cover up the true story of Jesus!

Sorry for the consecutive posts, but this doesn't really belong as part of the last post:

I don't know if this is a bad idea or not. I suspect that it's actually a *good* idea. Anyway, here it is:

One of the Legionnaires is hanging out at home. Where his/her parents live, I mean. We get some sense of his/her life in the 31st century, and his/her history, and so on. I don't know which Legionnaire would be best for this. I'd prefer Ultra Boy, but his personality and background might make him not quite right. Sun Boy, perhaps; this could be a good thing to do with Sun Boy. Even Invisible Kid might work.

Anyway, after a few pages of this, a time machine appears in front of ... let's say Sun Boy. There are three superpowered teenagers in the time machine. They've come all the way back from the 51st century to invite Sun Boy to join their club...

_

How about having some Legionnaires getting lost in space. One member somehow survives millenia alone which makes him crazy with Space Madness.

It's Five Years Later.....

During a Moopsball fundraiser tournament, a seemingly harmless center court handshake between Lightning Lad and Crystal Kid turns into madcap misadventure as Garth transforms into living crystal. The hilarity continues as Garth takes on the personality and clothes of Element Lad as well. Action is electric as the classy, glassy "Jarth" takes to the quartz in this sporting contest you will not want to miss!

Also, a look at a 24 hour sequence in the Mission Monitor room where Ferro Lad, Chemical King, and Blok - all back from the dead thru Infinite Crises - recant their experience of being buried for years on an asteroid, while on duty.

An Adult Legion story where elderly Ultra Man, Shadow Woman, Light Lady, and Chameleon Guy get sassed and ridiculed by 32nd century punk kids who make fun of their bi-focals and spandex outfits.

Also, Tyroc sings "(I'm Dreamin' of a) White Klorndy"...

Mr. Furley overhears Crissy and Jack talking and there is a big misunderstanding; Janet desides that "TigerRose" would be a nifty name for a Legionaire; The Ropers kill Blok because its still too early in the series to destroy the Moon or the Earth; Quislet has a lot of cute one-liners until the writers deside he's too old to be cute and send "him" off to the Boarding School Dimention.



Shan

The Legionnaires get together to figure out who has the most fun kissing who, only to discover that everyone was really kissing Saturn Girl.

Saturn Girl appears as a contestant on "Titanian Idol," but since she's mute, she has to stage an elaborate deception in which another person sings a song in her place. That person turns out to be Tyroc...

Proposed cover for "the dresses that DOOMED the Legion!"

Now I'm sadder than ever at missing out on the wonder that was Legion #50. I tend to suspect that it's the new gold standard for this thread, but how can I really be sure?

The Legion is forced to fight the brainwashed descendants of Batman's rogue's gallery. The person behind it is the 31st century descendant of Jason Todd.

1) Star Boy and Sun Boy are playing a game of holo-D&D, when, in a freak accident (caused when Lightning Lad loses his temper and zaps the machine), they are sucked into the game and have to fight all sorts of giant monsters!

2) Brainy invents a matter transportation machine, that is supposed to replace space travel entirely. In it's first test, the Legionnaires are sucessfully teleported to a mining world that is suffering a catastrophic geological collapse, and must rescue the hundreds of miners, despite being swapped into different bodies and having different powers! Jo's mind is stuck in Tinya's body, with Gim's powers! Tinya's mind is in Garth's body, but she has Shady's powers! It's madness!

3) A wealthy socialite whose late husband was 'The Legion's Biggest Fan' has decided to commemorate his death by burying the Legion with her beloved ("He always liked them better than me, anyway!"), using a ray to turn them into action figures. Can the now action figure-sized (and mostly powerless) Legionnaires escape before they are sealed into an inertron coffin and fired into the sun?

4) In an alternate universe, where the United Planets never formed, we follow the adventures of Tasmia Mallor, sword-and-blaster wielding Princess of Mars. Uh, I mean Champion of Talokk VIII, as drawn by Mike Grell. She's a little bit Dejah Thoris and a little bit John Carter, all rolled into one! Any other Legion lore is retconned in, with a pacifist Priest of Change from the crystal city named Jan Arrah, the buried menace of the Machine-Tyrants of Colu rising from the sands to attempt to reclaim the world, etc. Thrill as she negotiates with the duplicitious and illusion-casting Naga-people of the deep deserts! Marvel as she practices 'blaster diplomacy' during the battle with the metal-clad magnetic men of the southern continent of Braal! Be astounded as she explains who she is to yet another group of people she browbeats into submission!

Dr mayavale is revealed to be from Cargg. He is one third RJ Brande and one third Mordru...

I really hate it when everybody else's "bad" ideas are more plausible than my "good" ones.

I'm keeping my bad ideas to myself. I may be able to sell them to DC at some point.

Let me know if you need a bad artist to help you with your bad writing ideas. I like money.

John Byrne to head up an all-new Fourboot!

Set: Those actually aren't too bad at all.

Now, if you want a bad idea... a gritty teen drama would be a bad idea. This is the kind of thing I mean.

The Legionnaires have a wild party on the beach one night. Alcohol, drugs and sex are plentiful. Things get out of hand and Shrinking Violet is assaulted and killed by Ultra Boy, Colossal Boy and Dream Girl. In the aftermath of this, some Legionnaires want to cover it up, some want to come clean, some don't know what to do. Saturn Girl, on her way to confess to the Science Police, is killed by Lightning Lad (who's worried about the Legion's reputation), who makes it look like a drug overdose. A guilt-ridden Colossal Boy commits suicide. In the end the SP comes to arrest the Legion and is forced to kill a couple of the ones who won't come quietly, the Legion is disbanded, and the Legionnaires either jailed or put in the custody of their parents. A wise and insightful commentary on the state of modern youth.

That whole paragraph was quite unpleasant to type.

Even the one about the Legion of Action Figures? 'Cause I was going for 'painfully whacky Silver Age nonsense' with that one.

Teen (melo) drama, like 90210 or Melrose Place or Dawson's Creek, only with Legionnaires!

Is 'good girl' Lu pregnant, and, if she is, is it from that one-night stand with Clark that he doesn't remember because she got him so hopped up on goofballs, or her steady beau Chuck?

Will the bitch-a-thon that has degenerated from social cutting and dumping drinks on each others dresses to spreading hurtful slander between Projectra and Shady end in a slap-fight and someone in jail and someone else in the hospital in a coma, or a hot lesbian make-out session (or both, with one in prison meeting a butch young lass named Ayla from the wrong side of the tracks, only to constantly have to bail her even more bad news brother Garth out of trouble)?

What happens when the group finally adjusts to impetuous hotheads Ayla and Garth, only to meet their older, smoother and (seemingly) well-adjusted older brother Mekt, only to find out too late that he's as cold as ice and is just using them to get access to their parents security codes...

Will Gim's unrequited (and unsuspected) love for his best friend and fellow moopsball jock Jo end with a terrible friendship destroying overreaction when Gim has one synthale too many and makes his move? Will he lose a friend? Will he lose his place on the team? His athletic scholarship to Met U? Be thrown out of his church group? And will Jo's friendships with the ladies of Legion High School survive his outing as a violent homophobe?

The question isn't if, but *when* will Chameleon's penchant for appearing as his friends and filling in for them at social occasions (and even sometimes honoring obligations for *dates,* without informing any of the parties involved) explode terribly in everyone's faces?

Stay tuned for more stories you've seen a thousand times before! Next week, special quest Shannon Dougherty stars as Violet and Tori Spelling is Saturn Girl!

my bad idea???

the legion has to take care of flour babies

Saturn Girl has an affair with Cosmic Boy and gives birth to his child, although Lightning Lad thinks it's his. They even name him after Garth's dad.

Chuck decides to get into shape, becomes addicted to steroids, and viciously beats one of Lu's duplicates.

MLASH's dresses idea or Set's 90210 ideas should be done up in musical form.

Which reminds me: crossing Legion auditions with A Chorus Line would rock. Unless, of course, you're a weird, sour old apple like me and you've always detested A Chorus Line.

Monstress and Tellus Make a Porno

"Certain crimes are considered especially hazardous, and are turned over to the Legion Criminal Investigative Servics, or LCIS for short. These are their stories."

A procedural based in the 31st century, with various Legionnaires serving as field agents (Ultra Boy, Saturn Girl, Lightning Lad, Chameleon Boy, Shadow Lass) and others serving as the lab-techs and research team (Brainy, Violet, Lyle).

Sensor and Sensability

Legion of Super Heroes #51-conclusion of the threeboot.

The Intruder Planet threat has been vanquished, and the team must focus on findng out who viciously attacked Phantom Girl. Was it Timber Wolf? As much of the team searches, we see Timber Wolf searching for Projectra who he believes to be the attacker.
Meanwhile, Saturn Girl struggles to break free of the psychic bonds Projectra placed on her. She fights through with a scream, startling Graym and Garridan who are playing nearby. She begins to don her pink costume, the "bikini" Garth calls it. As Garth steps from the sonic shower, brushing his hair, Imra tells him "You would not BELIEVE the dreams I've been having! We were all cloned, then we were the clones, then we were all lost, then we were just...it was so ridiculously unbelievable!"

AFOB:

<strike>Saturn Girl</strike> Featherhead!

Gossamer!

<strike>Phantom Girl</strike> Misty!

They're the Powerpuff Legion!!

[blink]

Wait. Y'know, I'd actually read/watch that.

An obnoxious little Sklarian terf befriends Ultra Boy, who has been retconned into a Gary Stu...oh, hang on. Never mind.

Cosmic Boy is retconned into a borderline saint who...oh, wait. Never mind.

Garth and Ayla are racechanged into Black stereotypes so that...oops. Forget I said that.

Okay, all joking aside, here's my Really Bad Legion Story idea:

The whole team fakes their deaths and moves to the Australian outback, where...

Hmph. I guess I've got nothing.

The Legionnaires are having a meeting. Suddenly, the meeting room is flooded with a gaggle of drooling fans, who crowd around Ultra Boy!

"He's so handsome!"

"And muscular!"

"And strong!"

"and powerful!"

"and smart!"

Sun Boy pipes up. "I'd be envious, if it weren't true!"

Saturn Girl swoons. "If it weren't for my love for Lightning Lad, I'd be all over him!"

Lightning Lad nods. "I understand, Imra!"

Dream Girl sighs. "If my prophetic powers hadn't told me that Ultra Boy has the heart of another..."

Shadow Lass chimes in, "Only Mon-El is more powerful!"

Ultra Boy stands up. "Everyone, please. I only have eyes for Phantom Girl!"

Phantom Girl blushes. "Oh Jo, what have I done to deserve you?"

Brainiac 5 pipes up. "And this is why we've elected you leader, Jo!"

True Tales of the Espionage Squad!

The 'Espionage Squad' is a cover. Cham, Violet, Tinya and Jacques are meant to serve as a cover (and yet completely unaware of this!), so that the real Legion wetworks division can get stuff done behind the scenes. Three Legionnaires are secretly covert assassins for good, killing off anyone who promises to be a real threat to the team. They almost got outed during the mission against the Time Trapper, because that's the sort of thing *they* usually do, and Brainy, Mon and Trip getting involved was unexpected even to them!

Who are they, these secret killers buried deep within the heart of the Legion, like a dagger? Well, that's the secret! At least one of them is believed dead by the rest of the Legion...