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Murran Spies, and
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,181
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,181 |
The brilliance is yours, man. 
White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,760
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,760 |
Gorgeous, Drake, utterly gorgeous.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,699
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,699 |
I'd say this is the final sign of utter fan disillusionment with DnA: Such an enthusiastic (and earned) response to a scene they didn't write.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
Saturn Girl must be reeling emotionally, but she stands off, at the back, isn't shown saying anything - I like that.
As the others have said, great art and story, Drake and KP. It really does fill in the mental and emotional gap for us.
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,843
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,843 |
Drake, one other detail that I particularly like is the fact that Jan/Garth looks a bit younger than most of the other Legionnaires.
I liked it when the Legion artists would portray him accordingly -- not only because he was in fact a year or two younger, but also because I've always thought of the preboot Jan as having a bit of a babyface. (Which provides an even greater contrast with the atrocities he committed as the Progenitor.)
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,205
#deleteFacebook
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#deleteFacebook
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,205 |
Originally posted by Kid Prime:
Page 1, Panel 1:
Cosmic Boy: “They’re ready for us to go in now. Don’t be nervous, pal.”
Saturn Girl: “Garth??”
Panel 2:
Silence.
Panel 3:
Kid Quantum: “That about wraps it up, folks. Those of you on assignment to the Kwai galaxy should report to the threshold chamber by…”
Panel 4:
Invisible Kid: “Incredible.”
Ultra Boy: “I don’t sprocking believe it.”
Kid Quantum: “Oh my gods.”
Panel 5:
Spark: “G-garth?”
Live Wire : “Ayla.”
Panel 6:
Silence. One thing - how the sprock is Ayla meant to know that's Garth like that? Cos cutting Jaz off to announce him (as he's positioned both in terms of floor-place and body language in panel 3) would make more sense Page 2, Panel 1:
Live Wire: “…and that’s all I can remember. The very next thing , there I was on Trom.”
Spark: “And in Jan’s body.”
Garth: “I… I guess.”
Panel 2:
Chameleon: “Saturn Girl says he checks out.”
Ultra Boy: “I know, Cham. She could also be seeing what she wants to see, y’know?”
Panel 3:
Chameleon: “You mean like with you and Tinya in the Kwai galaxy?”
Ultra Boy: “…yeah.”
Panel 4:
Ultra Boy: “I mean, I want to believe, man…”
Chameleon: “Look at Ayla. She hasn’t smiled like that since… well, before we were lost.”
Panel 5:
Wildfire: “And if that’s the sprocking Progenitor? We’re in for a world of nass, guys.”
Chameleon: “You don’t know that, Wildfire.”
Panel 6:
Kid Quantum: “Exactly. None of us know what we’re dealing with here. That’s why I need you to keep your eyes open over in the other galaxy, Cham. We need some answers." Only thing I might have changed about this page would be to have the first panel silent (maybe a narrative caption like "Recreation Deck, later"), but no speech bubbles - the page focuses on Jo, KQ2, etc - we don't really need the talk there. But still, good job to both of you (esp Drake)
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,181
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,181 |
Originally posted by Sanity or Madness?:
One thing - how the sprock is Ayla meant to know that's Garth like that? Cos cutting Jaz off to announce him (as he's positioned both in terms of floor-place and body language in panel 3) would make more sense
A good comment. That was why I gave Cos the script, "They're ready for us to go in now." It inferred that everyone in the room had just been briefed on the "Jarth" situation. I thought about doing exactly what you said. I couldn't figure out how to cram in that much exposition into their entrance, though. With the uproar over Jan's sudden appearance, having Cos say "Hey everybody this looks like Jan but it's really Garth Imra mindscanned him and he's okay everyone be sure to give him a warm welcome back!" didn't seem to me to make a lot of sense with what was being portrayed on the page. The intent all along was that the team had just been briefed, therefore Ayla knew that it was Garth in Jan's form. Perhaps I should have had Kid Q commenting on "Jarth" rather than talking about the Kwai mission, but I thought I needed that dialogue to tie in to her last sttement on the following page. Looking at it again, I can see how it might have been a little unclear. Only thing I might have changed about this page would be to have the first panel silent (maybe a narrative caption like "Recreation Deck, later"), but no speech bubbles - the page focuses on Jo, KQ2, etc - we don't really need the talk there.
White. A blank page or canvas. His favorite. So... many... possibilities.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,666
Deputy
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Deputy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,666 |
Drake and Kippers - a fab peice of storytelling... wow!!
It read more in keeping with how I believe the Legions relationships would be seen than the 'everyone avoid him' tactic that DnA seem to favour...
Why haven't you been given a full time job with DC yet Drake?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,656
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,656 |
Awesome work guys! I think I've found my favorite creative team to take over the magazine!
"Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Bravo, KP!
I think your dialogue works just fine the way it is. I picked up on the "ready for you now" line as indicating that the team had already been briefed.
This collaboration between you and Drake is proof positive that we don't need no steenking DnA, after all. We can create our own Legion adventures!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274 |
![[Linked Image]](http://legionworld.net/ubb/graemlins/bumpit2.gif) Drake, Comic Book Idol 2 needs you!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 238
Reservist
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Reservist
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 238 |
Seconded! Your art is incredible!
"Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173 |
Thanks, but it's not something I can spend the time to do. Besides, I think I'd end up getting flashbacks to when I actually was trying to break into the biz, going to conventions with my portfolio, being paid next to nothing working for a small press publisher, mailing out samples etc... not an incredibly pleasant experience (though I did get some good feedback at times and a nice letter from Diana Shutz). Although, it'd be interesting to see how much the "Legion World" voting block would affect the contest... 
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274 |
We'd break their voting machines. I saw it done last year for the last contest. 
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