Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum SHAKES - ARCHIVE I (read only)

That might be a good idea.

<follows Semi while looking around the room>

Ok, Ranger, apology accepted. I guess you realize, that under the circumstances, I'm not going to sue you and you don't have to concern yourself with reporting your indiscretion to your insurance carrier. However, do realize that in my day job, I have a certain familiarity with the court system as an advocate, and will not hesitate to employ that familiarity, should the harassment continue.

So, Range baby (we've all been wanting to call you that, and you should consider a name change -- you know, soften the image a bit) ---Level with me. What the nass is going on? You know by now that I'm a straight-shooter (figuratively that is). I'm not part of the intrigue, despite the unfortunate fact that it seems to be centered in my establishment.

I'd like some explanations. Your turn...

sorry to interupt *ahem* but what's a girl to do around here to get a drink?

<thinks to self - if only they had a str8 barman I wouldn't get ignored like this!>

OK, That is fair enough.

<Pauses, seeming to consider how to start.>

The problem seems to be on three levels.

First, is the political unrest after the recent elections. We believe that that is a result of one or more of the defeated candidates bringing in some Durlans in an attempt to unsettle the Crujectra Administration.

Second is the recent arrivals of several known criminals and questionable types. They seem to be adversely affecting behavour patterns here on Legion World. Look at Icefyre and MMLASH among others.

Third...

She need only ask. Batting her eyelids and staring longingly at bartender also work. Contrary to popular str8 girl belief, gay bartenders (and most other gaymen) absolutely adore attention from women (except at closing hour, of course.)

<shakes ample cleavage just to check that it is still there - oh yes, it's definitely still there!>

Never mind guys, I'll get my own, cheers anyway

<and with a defiant flick of hair she vaults the bar and pours herself a nice glass of cold cider>

A real Cutie - that one.

OK, Ranger. The levelling I wanted from you, is "Who are you, and who do you represent? I've already determined that you favour the English/Canadian spelling and that tells me a lot -- but not enough. OK, spill the beans.

Sentient, I am exactly what you see and hear before you right now, a science police officer on assignment. My personal life is not an issue I assume.

No, Range, I have no desire to hear the nitty gritty about the 6 wives you've got stashed away in some small Utah town.

We have all intercepted your Mission reports. Who are they going to? My time is short, I need answers now. Else, we're done talking.

Oh, and what's in it for you? Well, we're branching out at SHAKES and with our new advertising campaign we expect to be attracting a lot of very beautiful women on Tuesdays between 6:00 p.m and 7:30 p.m. You may have noticed, you won't have a lot of competition. I have here in my hand, a FREE PASS. No cover for you, Stud Muffin.

Do not for one moment think of accusing me of offering a bribe. I know you have no law enforcement jurisidiction here, and you are not a publicly elected official. Therefore, my offer is not actionable under the bribery statutes. Take a moment before you respond.

The only thing in it for me is the satisfaction of a job well done, and the opportunity to renew one or two old friendships.

My reports, are going to Chief Zendak, who is very concerned about the state of the Legion Fan-Base. you might say that he has a personal stake in the success of places like Legion World.

Oh, by the way I have a question for you. If your society here is based on personal freedom, why do the private lives of people seem to matter so much to other people - who are not affected by them in any way?

<Vee enters SHAKES right on schedule as planned>

Hey SemiSweets, great job! I knew you would be able to get Ranger here to 'fess up if anyone could!

Ranger the answer to your question is as old as mankind. You seem to be so concerned with conspiracy theories that you forget to account for human nature.

Quite simply, people are so concerned about the private lives of others because humans are inherently nosey!

Take me as an example, Range Baby. Look at the first line of my message. Nobody on Legion World wants to pry into your or anyone else's life. We gladly accept the tidbits you toss us (such as the fact that you have six wives), but unless you offer more, we don't pry.

Now, the best way for you to fit in, and for me to get a break, would be to offer you the day time job as bar keep at SHAKES. You could gather all the information you want, but you'd have to promise not to shoot up the place.

As barkeep, you must respond promptly to ech and every request for libation. No frowning.

You may be wise to consider this offer. I doubt you can get back to where you came from - I hear your fuel is running low.

And that is an excellent idea because, SemiSweets, with all the craziness going on on LW, we haven't had much time for the Sweets.

<Communicator buzzes on Ranger's wrist. He looks at it and frowns>

Can I think that over, it might work out. but I have to leave right now, something just came up.

<Exits quickly>

Hmmm, oh well, guess we'll find out what that was all about later, but for now...I've been wanting to do this all day and we keep getting interrupted.

<Leans over and plants a big ol kiss on Semi's lips as he draws him into a fierce embrace>

Can't think of a better way to celebrate post #1300 than by smooching with my SemiSweets!

Hey, perfect timing. Wanna neck?

Semi gets rather excited and Vee draws back. Semi hope that it's not in horror.

Great minds think alike

I missed that Vee. Tu es le meilleur. Congratulations on 1300, sweet thing.

Horror? Never!

Ever the gentleman, you drew back for a spritz of freshener. You should know that you always taste like honey. <ok, I'm going a bit over the top. Time for IM time>

Gracias mi amour! But at the moment I'm less concerned about post counts than counting the places I want to kiss you!

Did I pick a bad time to walk in..