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0 Legionnaires (),
47
Murran Spies, and
2
Spider Guild Agents. |
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Admin,
Global Mod,
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
And now it's time for Nardo - Radio Therapist/Super-Villain!
Thank you, Android Announcer. How's the wife, by the way?
You made me a sexless drone.
Mindless obediance is the only thanks I get. Kids.
Alright, let's take a few calls. Remember, dear pathetically bi-eyed listeners, you state your puny problems and pitiful questions, and I'll bestow either a triumphant answer, an unreasonable facsimile, or just plain masterful bored indifference.
So, first caller, squajhead, what the hell's your damn problem, bub?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,898
Trap Timer
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Trap Timer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,898 |
Well, it seems like accidents and disasters happen wherever I go! Any ideas on how I could improve my luck?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Buy Enron stock.
The real calamity is that fruity Nancy-boy hat. It doesn't take three eyes to see that!
Next squajin' caller! Your on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,915
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,915 |
How do I get my butt out of the whacked out Marvel Cosmos and into the DC Universe where I belong?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Look below your puny indeterminate genitalia. See those unwashed gnarly stumps at the end of your scrawny mismatched legs? Some dare to call them - FEET!
What are ya, a Stone Boy? Do the thorazine shuffle, ya friggin' clueless drooling Marvelite!
Was that Founder or Flounder?!?!?
And remember, callers, Nardo only answers one caller at a time. All callers after the "next caller" after my whenever current answer, are all sprockin' nassholes with typical bad fanboy timing! Be first or be ignored!
They don't call me Nardo because I got teeny ones!!
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173 |
Ba-ba BOOEY, Ba-ba BOOEY, Ba-ba BOOEY, Ba-ba BOOEY, Ba-ba BOOEY, MA-ma MONKEY!!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Please turn down your farm animal.
Next caller! Your on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
Nardo, one of my team-mates has been using credit card without my permission. SHould I confront him or just go straight to the authorities?
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Neither!
Imprison him in a circular cage on an asteroid with a machine bearing the sign: "Food. Water. Books."
Then empty the machine and say, "No food, water, books for you! One year!"
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173 |
Hi Nardo, long time listener, first time caller ... so, have you ever wanted to mind-meld with Howard Stern's penis?? Ba-ba boooeyyy....!!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Nardo knows not this Howard Stern Penis you speak of. I don't get his puny radio show in my quadrant or on my asteroid because my third eye destroys all pantless nonsense and scurrying vermin.
However Nardo did see his movie and thinks the kilbasa lady would probably consider a career change if she met Nardo!
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,397
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,397 |
Nardo, is it true that you'll be replacing Mike Savage on MS-wannabelikefoxnews-NBC?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Nardo spews chunks at your suggestion!
And again!
And again!
And one for the little children and the beasts in the field!
You are sicker than County General!
No food, water, books for you! One year!
What's with all the talk-radio host references?!
Fuck 'em! They are the toe-jam between my teeth!
Tell me your sappy puny problems, you gurgling mooncalfs!
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
While Nardo waits for the next caller, he offers a rare apology to all that he hasn't been flagging all his post with that eyeball icon.
Sometimes Nardo can't see the forest for the trees. Three eyes ain't all it's cracked up to be. Sure it's a chick magnet, but my depth perception is nine-dimensional!
You ever try to tie you shoes in nine dimensions?! You always leave one out!
That's why Nardo has androids!
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,173 |
Say, Nardo, do you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?? 
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Yes. When Nardo was on Larry King.
Talk about dead man walkin'. His suspenders are really I.V. drips.
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,898
Trap Timer
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Trap Timer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,898 |
Nardo... I heard you were chased outta your own galaxy by the law. What exactly were they after you for?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Sorry, Nardo's been in the can for awhile. You ever try to crap in nine dimensions? You have to keep starting over... and over... and over...
But you ask why Nardo was chased out of his own galaxy.
Crapping in nine dimensions.
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078 |
Why oh great Nardo, WHY???? I wasn't bothering ANYONE!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
You were blocking Nardo's view. I told you sit down, Nasshole.
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Nardo, I've been a Legionnaire for many years, but now some people are talking about me as if I'm less powerful than I used to be. Worse, some think it's psychological. What should I do?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Maybe yer just gettin' a little long in the incisors.
Then again, maybe you're friggin non compos mentis. The way Nardo hears it, you were, like, zoned out for like a thousand fuckin years!
If Nardo had been on a thousand year Thorazine shuffle, pal, he'd be feelin no pain either.
Nardo says go get lost in deep space explorin' comets and sluggin' spage dragons and shit like that.
Or else get a week long blow-job from a blue chick.
After a thousand friggin years as a ghost, a Little Mary Sunshine ain't gonna do it. You need a blue chick.
Blue chicks gives Nardo hard nards. Nardo likes his nards hard.
Duh.
Nardo.
Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,863 |
Nardo, a very intelligent friend of mine has no success with women. He keeps falling for powerful blondes who keep rejecting him. What should he do?
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71
Substitute
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Substitute
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 71 |
Nardo says if he's that smart, then he should build his own blonde bombshell. If he builds it, then he will come.  Next caller! You're on the air with Nardo!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274 |
Nardo, people keep telling me that I'm not really who I think I am. That I'm just some stupid blob of protoplasam and I really died years ago.
If this is true, then how could I have had four children with my wife?
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