Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum SHAKES Archives II

(Trips cranky Abin before he leaves the bar.)

*tee hee*

(Falls face down, bangs nose on floor...)

*OUCH*

(Grabs Abin's wallet and decides to give it to Viv, later.)

Oopsies! Babette would you mind getting Mr. Quank a moist towelette for his bloody nose?

(Helps Abin to a chair.)

You're so cute when you're brutalized. *tee hee*

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, (and I use those terms with more than a modicum of abandonment), SHAKES is not a bawdy house. If you want to brawl and carry on like hooligans and sex-starved marmosets, I suggest that you would fit in quite well at SHAMELESS HUSSIES (which I may add, I now own a controlling share in).

If however, you want to be the normally charming and erudite individuals that I know you to be, you may remain at SHAKES and consume Future Fizzes and Arachnatinis.

I'll have one of those Black Widow Arachnatinis, if you please, Master Bartender.

I'll join you, Ms. Cramer! An Arachnitini sounds perfect for right now!

I haven't really made my way around here that often. Cobie can’t seem to shut up about it, all I hear is Semi this, Vee that, SHAKES this…and I can see why! YUM!

Now where did Stu get off to? I hear he’s a puppy these days, and I want to see the little cutie!

*Tee hee* I’m a sucker for puppies!

An Arachnatini is normally served straight up with a twist of lime. Is that all right with you, FC? Of course I can prepare it any way you like for an additional nominal no-charge.

And just to remind everyone what is in an Arachnatini is the following entry courtesy of STU

ARACHNETINI - Grey Goose Vodka, opal nera, and a spritz of seltzer.

Space Tart, welcome. I'll make another Arachnetini right away. STU can usually be found curled up behind the bar (when he's a puppy, that is). However, right now he's a zombie. I'd check Shanghalla.

Zombie! Ick!

He's too cute for that sort of thing, don't you agree?

And thank you!

I'll let him know you were asking after him. He'll be delighted (maybe even enough to change back into his puppy form or even into "Lothario Stu").

Is that an official SHAKES thong that you're wearing?

Mm, would I be able to get myself one of those?

And you've got a cute butt, Semi!

Why thanks, Space Tart. It's all those squats I do at the holo-gym. However,no one ever seems to notice because I'm usually behind the bar.

I think we have an extra SHAKES silver thong in your size (petite, of course). Care to try it on?

Oh boy, I'm knackered. TGIF.

Any chance of a pint of IPA?

Sure thing, Far. One IPA coming right up. By the way, IPA - is it India Pale Ale, Indian Pale Ale, Ipanema Pale Ale, Italian Pale Ale?

Semi, I can kiss you right now! Thanks, cutie!

Give me a second, and I'll try it on in the bathroom!

*takes a second*

Well, how does it look? Far? I"m glad that I work out so much now! *tee hee*

Nothing like a few Arachnitini's in a new petite SHAKES thong!

<enters>

I know I like it!

I think a nice cold drink will work perfectly with this situation

Semi,

Its India Pale Ale. And thanks I needed that.

Now time to sit here and savour the moment. I think I'll have a nice pint of porter please.

Spacy,

That looks so good I almost spilt me pint

I can certainly see the result of your sessions in the gym.

Well, Semi's in the back right now but here's your pint of porter Far. Cobie how cold, what drink and where?

Space tart, I must say you look stunning. Would you consider being our newest "official SHAKES silver thong" supermodel?

This Arachnitini is delightful. I'll have another, if it pleases the bar.

Space Tart, it's wonderful to see you here. I must confess, I've slipped badly behind on my continuity - I thought you were among the dearly departed! Well, so much the better for all and sundry!

Question for the Faraway one - or any others - is there really an ale (or stout?) called "Old Peculiar"? Read it in a novel....

Where are those droids? I guess they took the weekend off. Troy is probably at the gym and Babette is probably at another self-improvement class. Oh well, what can I get anybody?

And I agree Fat Cramer, it's nice when the departed show up alive - because of our mistaken assumptions, of course, and not because of some whacked out re-animation experiment.

Oh, by the way, I found an unopened box in the back. Free thongs for everyone!

I first read about the silver SHAKES thong in Bits. Is it a tradition, Semi? And, if so, is it deserving of an entry in the Directory? Who wore the first thong. Is there really a Thong Force? Inquiring Editors want to know.

I'm not sure who wore the first SHAKES silver thong, but most certainly, it was Icey (Icefire) who made it famous during his ultra flirting days. We all miss that Icey and wish he'd come around more.

I noticed a poster on today called FreezeFlame. I just assumed it was Icey, a.k.a. Frosty, a.k.a. Kole.

I once suggested he should go by the name of "Freezerburn". Strangely, he ignored my suggestion.