Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board April 3012 Election Debate Thread

This is the thread in which you are to ask whatever questions you will of candidates once they have declared their candidacy. (Please understand most of these candidates are people you wouldn't want washing your car or mowing your lawn when formulating the questions).

The candidates are commanded to answer the questions as untruthfully and/or as self-servingly as is appropriate.

So, candidates.

If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?

What color underwear do you wear?

I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants. That's the color I wear!

I just love when the Election Tyrant gets all officious.

"Commanded"... just gives me goose pimples, I tell you.


So... even though I don't think there are any declared candidates yet... once they do start showing up, I'd like to ask what the juiciest rumor is that you've heard about each of your respective opponents.

Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?

Where's Hoffa buried?

What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?

What is your stand on Alt IDs?

And does this shirt make me look fat?

Which one a y'all hos gonna calm my tits?

Honestly, Calm dearest, you have me in tears right now!!
I keep spilling my Rum Sling!!

Ho, your tits be rum-soaked.

Axe Jayquann. He needs the money.

'Cause he broke.

Goodness, no!
I'd be too worried that he'd steal my car!

Fo real real. That brotha a thief.

That is a fantastic question, Ibby. I actually don't wear underwear, at all, preferring to go commando. Because the raw leadership exemplified by our commandos is just the sort of quality that a leader of the LMB needs!

That is to say... I wear green.

I highly recommend Thora in some daisy dukes! She might not admit it, but if you play some White Snake, all kinds of cray-cray might go down!

Green!

I’ve heard Ex has legions of little children working in his sweat shops! While he forces them to work in his employ all day and night, he makes them listen to Nickleback!

There will be an immediate need for two stalwarts to act as judges for the mandatory striptease competition each LMBer will need to take part in, to better gauge who has the best seduction skills for the Espionage Squad. This function just so happens to come with an enormous salary and unlimited supply of previously undiscovered Peanuts comic strips kept secret for a thousand years!

On Masstomb IV, where Ex buried all the other people he’s had murdered over the centuries!

Stoopid Cat’s Tesseracts!

We are a pro-Alt ID ticket! We fully intend to promote and celebrate this critically important members of Legion World!

And that shirt makes you look smoldering. Several LMBers were yelling about not even needing to use their hands moments earlier.

Poverty Lad will be more than happy to provide this service! On Earth, he’s better known as the Motorboatin’ Mofo!

So... I'm parsing Ex's answer(s) out as a declaration that he's some kind of Coluan-Durlan hybrid.

Well, at least that brings some diversity to the race.

I promise, as the next leader of the LMB, the storied example the both of you have set, celebrating both penguins and poop jokes, will not only continue, but be raised to a whole new level.

That's right, Legion World... it is the dawning of the age of:

Penguin Poop jokes.

Bah! I'll fill Legion World with Pooping Penguin Prostitutes if you need it! I always keep at least five dozen on stand-by anyway.

This is 100 % true. While Cobalt Kid stood idly by as Hoffa and his minions threatened the very bedrock that LW is founded on, I was taking action.

And... I tripled the LW export of bedrock.

Ah... a wiley question, Future, one that clearly tripped up my opponent.

I, of course, realize, that Constantinople no longer exists, superseded by Istanbul.

Why did Constantinople get the works? Well, that's no one's business but the Turks.

Right beside them, my friend... right beside them.

Only with a "PH".

Unfortunately, not myself personally as, very shortly, I will be very involved in matters of state.

But might I recommend Cobalt Kid? He should be looking for meaningful employment in about a month, and he's a darned good scrubber.

I say: Don't listen to those who say they need calming at all!

They are already wonderful in their naturally excited state.

Now Jayquann's? Well, those might need some calming.