Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

GRANTED: But you learn that your hunky houseboy is your long-lost mother whom you haven't seen in twenty years!

I wish I could make things disappear

Granted, but they re-appear 2 seconds later.

I wish the US would get over itself and realize that gay couples have a right to get married.

Granted, but only two gay couples (the minumum plaral, as your wish did not include quantities) are allowed to: PeeWee Herman and David Hasselhoff, and Tom Cruise and your ex.

I wish all LWers could make it to San Diego this year.

Granted; however, we're not all there at the same time, and none of us are there for the con.

I wish I had a plate of steamed broccoli.

Granted, but it fell on the floor and your dog peed on it...

I wish to be beautiful

Granted, you are beautiful... on the inside where it counts (like your mother always told you). A homicidal maniac chases you with a knife to see if you truly are beautiful on the inside.

I wish I could do whatever I wanted without any repercussions.

Granted, but most of the world winds up hating you, and your vice president shoots his buddy while hunting.

I wish I could take a six-month vacation and travel the world.

Granted, but you will be traveling with a merciless spouse and children who prevent you from seeing what you want to see, and spend time and your money shopping and watching pay-per-view in hotels. And whining "when do we go home?"

I wish I were super-organized and super-disciplined.

Granted, you are both super-organized and super-disciplined but the only team that will let you join is the Legion of Substitute Accountants.

I wish tonights men's basketball tourney games had been more competitive.

Granted, however the energy needed to make the game retroactively more competitive caused a communications blackout over the whole country. The games were not telecasted.

I wish I could travel where I want to, when I want to, at no cost.

Granted! You no longer have any desire to leave your house.

I wish I were so beautiful I could have attitude.

Granted:
You look like Farrah Fawcett circa 1977. Lee Majors want to divorce you.

I wish I had remembered to get my grell-era Legion comics from home when I was there last week.

Lad Boy's back!!! Yay!!!

*Ahem*

Granted! Unfortunately, you dropped them all in a big mud puddle as you left the house and each one was covered.

I wish for greater understanding among the nations of the world.

Granted
Each nation now understands the economic and military weaknesses of of Papua New Guinea.

I wish Legionadventureman well.

Granted! He now has a hole in the ground full of water!

I wish that I get a job I enjoy that pays the bills.

Granted you now enjoy a job that pays the bills but now that they see you have money the chrises, the steves, and the wallies make your home life hell with persistant collection calls.

I wish gas prices would come down a dollar a gallon.

Granted. The price of neon gas has come down a dollar a gallon.

I wish I hed less stress.

Granted. You lose your job, go on unemployment insurance and can surf the net all day if you wish. Unfortunately, the constant leisure time saps your will to do anything but surf.

I wish I had a free to me, legally-acquired, clean, fine copy of every comic book ever printed.

Granted. Unfortunately, the storage space needed to house all those comics is so expensive that you have to sell 99.9 percent of the comics to afford it.

I wish my dog could speak English.

Granted!
Your dog can speak English but it doesn't really like you and refuses to speak to you.

I wish that beautiful music filled the air.

Granted, Beautiful music fills the air... played on dog whistles.

I wish more legion worlders would come to the San Diego comic con this year.

Granted. More Legion Worlders come to the San Diego comic con this years than little old ladies named Agatha Zaccagnini from Schenectady do.

I wish there were a good Vietnamese restaurant in walking distance of my workplace, which is located in Houston, Texas.

Granted. After the Vietnamese invasion of Texas, they put you to work in a slave labor camp. You often think how nice it would be if you could leave the camp and dine in the nice new restaurant across the street.

I wish that there were new, high-quality stories featuring the continuing adventures of the pre-5YL Legion being published and that I could enjoy reading them every month.

Granted! You enjoy the new, high quality stories featuring the continuing adventures of the pre-5YL Legion, but you are the only one who receives these issues. So no one knows what you're talking about when you come online to discuss them. No one gets your jokes.

Naturally, we're all jealous and request for you to copy the pages and send them to us, to scan and post images on the website. This becomes a terrible hassle for you, so you end up just not talking about it anymore. Sad on many levels. Sigh.


I wish there were no more traffic hassles!

Granted. All automobiles have been banned.

I wish wars would cease in all the world.