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I'm Thinking of a DCU character Part 6!
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Kill This Thread LI - Already???
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So, what are you listening to?
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Who's Who in Raz's Legion? *added RED CROW 3 May*
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The Non-Legion Comics Trivia Thread Pt 5
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Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
#767250 04/04/13 12:19 AM
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Okay, the consensus in the Archive v1 reread thread seems to be that Adventure #267 is a bit of a dog.

But Fat Cramer had an interesting post on it...
Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
I've wondered if you could take one of these early stories and rewrite the dialogue for contemporary readers. Even without changing the basic story, #267 has a lot of elements which could make it a modern fable of homeland security and the decline of the rule of law.

Superboy is set up by three self-appointed judges, based on crimes which he has yet to commit, for which there is no proof and for which he is given no fair trial. In fact, he is held in an off-planet prison, initially with no idea of what charges he faces. His parents and neighbours have all been subjected to Saturn Girl's telepathic propaganda depicting Superboy as a worthless failure. He is informed that checking on his activities with the Futurescope is a routine procedure.

Fortunately for Superboy, he is allowed by the President to revoke his "security oath" and reveal the cover-up in which he participated (destroying a poison gas factory and supply chain), which clears him of the alleged future crimes. Well, the Geneva Convention of 1925 only prohibited the first use of poison gas, not its production or storage, so it's not a war crime, but it was all very hush-hush. Was there a localized disaster which compelled the President to order the eradication of evidence?

There is also the theme of the broken machine used as evidence. A common challenge to breathalyzer results is to show that the machine might have been malfunctioning or wasn't properly calibrated. Certainly trying to get one's name off the no-fly list once it's in the computer system is supposed to be virtually impossible. Machines screw up.


So could it be salvaged? Could, in fact, YOU salvage it?

Here's the pages, with the lettering removed. It'd be easy to parody it, but could you fix it? Lesse... wink

Attached Images Adv267delettered-Page00.jpg

My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cobalt, Reboot & iB present 21st Century Legion: Earth War .
Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767257 04/04/13 04:46 AM
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Very cool Reboot! Thanks for clearing the text.

I hope some of our great fanfic writers will tackle this challenge.



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Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767325 04/04/13 05:14 PM
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Awesome idea!!!

I'll start:

Random dude: "I don't recognize those youths...yet I feel compelled to cheer them on!"

Superboy: "why are the Legionnaieres attacking that innocent underground dinosaur?"

Other random dude: "why do I feel such hate towards Superboy? It burns with the heat of a thousand suns!"

Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767326 04/04/13 05:21 PM
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I will try this weekend, I have delusions of grandeur.

Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767329 04/04/13 05:48 PM
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I'm really into the idea of this project, but, man, I think this story is going to need a lot more than re-scripting!

Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767331 04/04/13 07:50 PM
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Bystander 1 "Superboy, those super-thugs are beating up my pet dinosaur! Stop them, please!"

Superboy "Okay, but only because you said please!"

Bystander 2 "Why do they all seem to be emitting zaps from their eyes, and some sort of clouds of propulsive flatulence from their bums?"



Wrapped Around Your Finger now complete in BITS!
Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767335 04/04/13 09:28 PM
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rewrite the dialogue for contemporary readers.

lol

What would Quentin do?

Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Eryk Davis Ester #767358 04/05/13 03:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Eryk Davis Ester
I'm really into the idea of this project, but, man, I think this story is going to need a lot more than re-scripting!


Well, it doesn't have to make sense, just be contemporary. There's only so much one can do with the raw material.


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Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767949 04/11/13 04:31 PM
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Okay, I didn't bother with the Smallville half, but...

[Linked Image]
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[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]


My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cobalt, Reboot & iB present 21st Century Legion: Earth War .
Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767965 04/11/13 07:36 PM
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That's wonderful! It's quite an interesting concept that Kryptonians might have chosen to remain on their planet to preserve other life in the universe.

Sealed intertemporal evidence - fantastic. Not to mention the nod to Thomas Fatsi. And I laughed at the image of Brainiac, Luthor and Mxyzptlyk.


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Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767968 04/11/13 08:22 PM
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And it does preserve the essense of the story. Excellent job Reboot.


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Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #767970 04/11/13 09:44 PM
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Marvelous work, Reboot!

Poor Tom Fatsi. smile


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #768362 04/17/13 07:18 AM
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'Boot, this is nothing short of genius! Absolutely brilliant! It maintains its Silver Age charm while providing some heavy topics to consider. I'm really impressed!

Love that you've removed the naïveté from Superboy and replaced it with intelligent curiosity.

And I also love the balloon with Luthor, Brainiac and Mxyptlk!

Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Cobalt Kid #769423 04/26/13 08:09 PM
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Thanks for the complements, y'all smile

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
That's wonderful! It's quite an interesting concept that Kryptonians might have chosen to remain on their planet to preserve other life in the universe.

Well, I set myself three "rules" with changes to the plot:
1) The threat had to be genuinely existential in some way - it couldn't relate to an easily misunderstood incident(s) or something Superman would do deliberately since We Know He Wouldn't, it had to be something drastic caused by his very existence.
2) The Legionnaires couldn't be idiots! They couldn't do anything stupid, like mix up skinny Superboy and steroid-freak Superman, and they couldn't be proven outright wrong - introduce reasonable doubt, yes, "you missed this really obvious thing" no.
3) The resolution had to be based in something that existed within the story, as opposed to the mysterious mission that had no basis in the story before (and required, as I said, the Legion to mix up Superboy & Superman).

After all that, it kind of fell into place! I was inspired to do the "uses up others' lives" bit by Alan Davis' Excalibur, and the ending came from the natural point that for the Legionnaires to "succeed", their future would have to die. So if the explosion came not from something random, but from a LSV attack, that would "prove" they hadn't changed the future... (The LSV was chosen because it was something that would have required no exposition! You don't need to know anything about them, just that they're the LSH's "opposites").

Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
Not to mention the nod to Thomas Fatsi.

There had to be at least one LW in-joke worked in there smile

Originally Posted by Cobalt Kid
'Boot, this is nothing short of genius! Absolutely brilliant! It maintains its Silver Age charm while providing some heavy topics to consider. I'm really impressed!

Thanks. It was always going to be a SA story no matter what I did to the script, and the resulting script was thus about as Silver Age DC as it's possible for me to get smile

Originally Posted by Cobalt Kid
Love that you've removed the naïveté from Superboy and replaced it with intelligent curiosity.

That was just... the original has him treat the "regular stampede" and the fact that there's a planet devoted to him like it's something curious, but not weird. When he's not even universe-famous Superman yet, just small-town Superboy! Probably a philosophical thing on my part, but I just couldn't buy that an intelligent person in his position would take it at face value.

Originally Posted by Cobalt Kid
Originally Posted by Fat Cramer
And I laughed at the image of Brainiac, Luthor and Mxyzptlyk.

And I also love the balloon with Luthor, Brainiac and Mxyptlk!

That whole bit came from Cosmic Boy's pose in that panel. In the original, he's staring up to the side for no apparent reason (Saturn Girl's dialogue balloon is much bigger, and he doesn't have a line), so since the idea of Superboy saying "Any villains from my future who might have set me up?" was natural to the idea of casting reasonable doubt rather than outright-disproving it, the bald-trio-balloon just came naturally, even if I had to squeeze it in smile


My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cobalt, Reboot & iB present 21st Century Legion: Earth War .
Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #769878 05/01/13 11:17 AM
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I never saw the orignal but I have seem plenty of silver age Superman/Boy WTF stories, and you did capture it. While slightly more sensible in the metaphysical karmic sense, it still captures the silver age personality disorder where even though the accusers' own words prove the accused did nothing wrong intentionally, everyone looks MAD at him. smile

This always annoyed me. At least look like this is an unfortunate necessity, people!

And given how often these malfunctions/frameups/horrible misunderstandings happened, take a damn moment to double-check before you imprison someone.

Also accurate, the whole debate over whether he even deserves an explanation! The damn default has always been to either "we can't tell you" or "you know what you did!" Which wouldn't be so bad if they'd at least do that due diligence.

Re: Challenge: Rescript Adventure Comics #267...
Reboot #831562 12/12/14 09:21 PM
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I commented on the Legion Pics posting here, and I'm glad I was able to read this! I agree, it was a genius tale, morally ambiguous but a lot more satisfying. The Legionnaires came off better than they did in Adv 267, and it opens the door for more exploration.

Superboy raises some good points - good enough to make the Legion reconsider. I especially love the thought bubbles you gave him, and how he consciously chooses to save everyone using a method that requires less power JUST in case they are telling the truth.


Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 12/12/14 09:24 PM.

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