Hey, more stories means more coverage, and more coverage means more for the cause.
The Fortitude of Lian Harper
At night, the city never sleeps. Especially MY city. My black angel. You're down there, I know you are. Just waiting for your chance. You criminal evildoers, dead set in your crusade to cause havoc and chaos. Well, you took something important from me so long ago, and I'll make sure you never do it again. You hear me?
I am vengeance!
I am the night!
I am-
"Going to be in big trouble if you don't go to sleep, young lady."
Lian looked up at her dad, Roy, who was peeved that she was still up past her bedtime, and still running around in that Batman costume she got three days ago.
"The Dark Knight doesn't need sleep!" Lian growled in her best Uncle Bruce impersonation. Roy rolled his eyes.
"Well in this house she does."
"Bah! I am the Grim Avenger of Justice, and I cannot sleep so long as there is criminal scum roaming the streets of my fair city!" Lian held her cape up in the same menacing way as the Bat does when he wants to cast his shadow on the bad guys. Of course, it didn't work in this case, considering she only came up to her dad's knees.
"Okay Grim Avenger, you can stay up as long as you want. You just won't get pancakes for breakfast." Roy threatened.
"Night daddy, love you!" Lian shouted as she scuttled under the covers.
CLICK.
Went the lights as Roy shut them off and left the room.
"I'm gonna kill Short Pants for giving her that costume." He muttered.
[ September 24, 2010, 04:50 AM: Message edited by: Sarcasm Kid ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Obstinacy of Lian Harper
"No!" Lian shook her head.
"Come on, Lian, you're gonna be late for school and I've got a JLA meeting." Her father, Roy, explained to her.
"I don't care! I don't like those pants!" Lian refused to get dressed for school, and she was still in her pajamas.
"You liked them just fine when we bought them." Roy told her.
"That's cuz pink was my favorite color." Lian explained.
"And it's not anymore, right?" Roy asked.
"Yep." Lian clarified.
"And what is your favorite color now, if I might ask?"
Lian perked up.
"Red."
"Yeah, nice try." Roy said, immune to his daughter's attempt to butter him up.
"I won't wear those pants!" Lian yelled.
"Well too bad, everything else is in the wash." Roy explained.
"Maybe if you'd actually done the wash when you were-"
"What was that?" Roy sternly asked the minute he heard his daughter muttering under her breath.
"Nothing." Lian quickly said. Roy rubbed his temples.
"Okay, how about this? You can either wear those pants, or you can go to school naked."
…
"Lian, come on! The bus is here!" Roy called from downstairs.
"Kay, daddy!" Lian said as she walked down the stairs…
Naked as a jaybird.
"LIAN!"
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Aim of Lian Harper
Lian had to time it just right. Her father's life depended on it now, more than ever, and she couldn't let him down.
She pulled the arrow back as tightly as her little body could, and kept her hands still just like grandpa Ollie taught her.
This was the first time she would ever save somebody in danger, and she wanted to make sure she got it just right.
"For you daddy." She whispered. And…
There it went!
THUNK!
There was a sound of suction and a whoosh of air as Batman suddenly got hit in the face with a plunger arrow, right on the mouth.
"Mmf!" The Dark Knight protested as he was cut off from his verbally abusing Lian's dad, Red Arrow, for the way he acted on his mission.
Red Arrow turned to where his daughter was standing. She winked at her dad.
He sniffed and wiped away a tear from his eye.
"I'm so proud of her." He said to the Bat, cursing his brains out as he tried to get the plunger off his mouth.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Inspired by another story on fanfiction.net.
The Wrath of Booty Man
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BOOTY MAN! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BOOTY MAN! BOOTY MAN! BOOTY MAN!"
Lian had been singing that song nonstop ever since her dad pulled out of the driveway with her surrogate uncle Dick joining them. The song, a very, very, VERY non-helpful reminder of a drunken excursion Dick had taken, had got on his nerves the minute Lian opened her mouth. Now he wanted to kill Roy and string him up like a Christmas tree. Of course, he was enjoying ever second of his daughter's melody.
"I hate you, you know that? I really, really do." Dick growled in a very Bat-esque manner.
"Lighting UP, Short Pants! She's just singing." Roy told his former teammate.
"Yeah, about a certain little you-know-what on my you-know-where." He said. The you-know-what being a tattoo of the Batman symbol, and you-know-where being, well, she was singing "Booty Man".
"Which YOU paid for with your own money and which YOU also got of your own volition." Roy pointed out.
"Ooh, volition, pretty big word coming from you, Speedo."
"BOOTY MAAAAAAN!"
Lian finished. She took a deep breath and began to
"LIAN! Honey, you've been singing that song for over an hour now. Don't you think it's time you tried singing something else?" Dick nonchalantly pleaded.
"But I like this song." The little girl said from the backseat.
"Yeah, well, princess, you know how I feel about that certain little… episode, I had." Dick explained.
"But-"
"Now Lian, if Dick wants you to stop singing that song, you stop singing it." Roy gently, but firmly, told his daughter.
"Okay, daddy." Lian said.
"Thanks, Roy." Dick said with a look of surprise. It was rare he saw Roy ever act THAT serious, even with Lian.
"No prob, that song WAS getting kinda annoying anyway." Roy waved it off.
Dick sighed and took in the peaceful quiet that now pervaded the car's air, until-
"Booty Man! Booty Man!" Roy sang at the top of his lungs to the tune of a certain archanid super-hero's theme song.
"Does whatever a booty can!" Went both father and daughter at the same time.
Dick groaned and started hitting his head on the dashboard, all the while thinking:
I wonder if they have any vacancies at Arkham this time of year?
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Death of Lian Harper
She just lay there, so still, so quiet. She was dead. And she would stay that way forever.
Her father came into the room, and looked down at his daughter, his angel, on the floor so still and motionless.
He sighed, blinked, and finally, mustered up the courage to say:
"Lian come on, the pizza finally came and I want you to get cleaned up first."
No response.
"You can sleep on the floor for as long as you like, I'm not letting you watch A Nightmare on Elm Street tonight."
"But daddy-!" Lian moaned as she opened her eyes.
"Do you honestly think I'd let my little girl watch something THAT scary?" Roy asked.
"Pleeeeeeease?" Lian asked.
"When you're older." Roy stated.
"Fine!" Lian pouted, and went back to being dead.
"Okay, whatever." Roy left the room. "Oh, just to let you know, I also ordered the breadsticks you like."
"Coming!" Lian rushed up to the dinner table. A silly movie can wait, but she wasn't gonna let her dad eat all of her favorite breadsticks.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Suffering of Lian Harper
It was one of their biggest battles ever.
The Outsiders and the Justice League, teaming up to deal with the mutant offspring of Charaxes, formerly Killer Moth, cross-bred with the DNA of some of the worst and deadliest villains ever to scar the face of Earth.
It was now down to Arsenal and Wonder Woman as the two faced off against Charaxes and the new Brainwave, the one commanding the fleet. Roy was trying his best to hold off the mutant insect man when his phone started ringing. At that moment Wonder Woman managed to get the giant bug off him before his digestive juices managed to burn off his soul patch.
"Now is REALLY not a good time, Mia!" Arsenal yelled in his phone.
"Daddy?"
"Lian?"
"Daddy! I, I had a…" Lian's voice trailed off as she started crying on the other end of the phone.
"Lian? Lian?!" Roy yelled.
"Witless fools! You have no possible means to defeat our army!" Brainwave cheered.
"It's going to take everything we've got," Batman stated, "but we have to-"
He was cut off by the sight of two napalm arrows and a taser arrow fired off at the two villains.
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" The two screamed as they were singed/electrocuted into submission. The rest of the clones shut down almost immediately.
"Whoa." Nightwing said. "Good job-Arsenal? Where'd he go?"
…
"LIAN!"
"Roy!" Mia yelped in surprise when she saw her surrogate brother charge through the front door. "How'd you-"
"Where's Lian? What's wrong?" He asked as he grabbed Mia by her shoulders.
The sound of crying coming from behind Mia alerted Roy to his angel's presence. She sat on the couch, crying, holding up a bandaged hand. There was blood on the Flash t-shirt her uncle Jay bought her.
"Da, da, daddy…" She hiccupped as she cried.
"I was in the bathroom when she dropped a glass." Mia explained. "She tried to clean it up herself and she cut her hand."
"Does she-?"
"No, she doesn't need stitches. I checked." Mia explained. Roy sighed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't muh-mean to." Lian cried. She'd never got hurt that bad.
"Oh baby, it's okay." Roy said as he held his daughter in his arms and tried to wipe away her tears.
"Roy how did you get here so… oh."
Mia trailed off when she saw the high jacked Batmobile parked across the front lawn of the house.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Changing of Lian Harper
Roy turned on the radio station to classic rock. It was his, and his daughter's favorite. They had similar taste in music.
Not that she could complain, mind you. She wasn't even old enough to talk.
Roy picked up little Lian out of her crib this fine, sunny morning in the City of Angels.
"Morning, princess. You sleep well?" He asked her. She just cooed. Roy smiled, until a certain odor hit his nostrils.
"Whoo." He said. "Come on, let's get you changed, you smell like your uncle Salad Head."
She laughed. Even more proof. They had the same taste in jokes.
He sat her down on the changing table and got ready to clean her up. He disposed of the befouled diaper and got ready to put on a new one when BAM! He got hit by a liquid stream.
"Hey!" He cried out as he got out of the way.
Roy looked down at the Blue Valley Soldiers jersey Wally had lent him. Lian giggled as Roy examined the now soaking Blue Valley Soldier. She'd hit him directly.
"Wow. Perfect shot." He said, impressed.
Yep, she was definitely his kid.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Game of Lian Harper
"Groove evening, viewers! This is Ulala, reporting to live from the Space Port! I've got a report stating that those nasty aliens are invading and forcing people to dance!"
"All lines are clear, Ulala. Get ready to take them out!"
"Roger! Uh oh! They've got some poor man and they're forcing him to dance!"
"Be sure to be ready to shoot when they aim at you."
"Got it, Fuse! Chu, chu, chu!"
"Whoa, Lian. What does 'chu' mean?"
Roy interrupted the show with that question.
"Chu, daddy! It's what you have to say when you have to shoot the aliens." Lian explained to her dad, still sporting two casts on his legs. She was putting on a pretend theatre to try and keep him from going crazy.
"Well why don't you just say shoot?" Roy asked.
"Because that's not what they say in the game, daddy!" Lian explained.
"Well, I'm sorry, sunshine." Roy apologized. "Go on."
"Ready, Uncle Bruce?" Lian asked to her uncle across from her.
Batman scowled, again, at the fact that Lian had talked him into staying for a little bit. And now he was wearing a pair of alien antennae and had up a fake ray gun.
"Chu." He deadpanned.
"Chu!"
The only thing that cheered Roy up more than his daughter laughing was the excellent amount of blackmail and Christmas card material in front of him.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Misconception of Lian Harper
"H'llo?" Lian asked to the person on the other end of the phone. A gravelly voice replied.
"Harper, where are you? We have a League meeting today and you-"
"Hi Uncle Bruce!" Lian happily answered, recognizing her uncle Batman.
"Oh, Lian. I'm sorry. I thought you were your father."
"No, daddy can't come to the phone right now." Lian explained.
"I need to talk to him." Batman stated.
"I'm sorry, it's just, daddy got pretty hammered last night." Lian told him.
"What?" Batman flat out asked.
"Yeah, he came home and he was hammered pretty badly." Lian said. "He can't even get out of bed. I had to bring him breakfast in bed."
"That figures." Batman muttered on the other
"We're eating breakfast in bed. I made him some Captain Crunch and coffee just the way he likes it." Lian explained proudly. "He said I did it perfectly."
"I'm sure you did, angel. Hold on, I'm coming over right now."
He hung up. Two minutes later, via JLA teleporter, the Dark Knight materialized in the Harpers' living room.
"Harper thinks he can get out of a JLA meeting just because he spends the night drinking, not on my wa-"
"UNCLE BRUCE!"
Lian ran into her surrogate great uncle's arms.
"Lian?" Her dad called out from his bedroom.
"Daddy, look who's here!" Lian dragged Batman by his hand to her dad's room.
"Harper. Don't think because you go out all night boozing it up means you can shirk your…" Batman stopped in mid-sentence.
"Yes?" Roy asked, sitting up in his bed and sporting not one, but TWO casts on his legs and a bandage on his forehead.
Lian ran up to her dad and bounced down next to him on his bed, spilling some crunchberries in the bed.
"You were saying…?" Roy asked.
"How did THIS happen?" Batman asked as he recomposed himself mentally.
"You know Solomon Grundy?" Roy asked. "Apparently he doesn't like taser arrows."
"I told you daddy got hammered last night, Uncle Bruce."
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Visitation of Lian Harper
Lian looked up from the picture book she was reading, "The Very Bestest Picture Book My Mommy Ever Bought Me" by Markie Schwartz,
"Whatcha doing?" She asked.
"Oh, I'm just feeding Slim and Wadsworth before I leave." Her babysitter explained.
"They're very pretty." Lian said.
"Why thank you." Her sitter smiled.
"One time my daddy got me a fish from the carnival, but my uncle Garth didn't like them being inside a glass bowl, so I let him put them in the ocean." Lian said. "Because they should be with their mommy and daddy."
"That's a very nice thing you did, Lian." Her sitter sat down next to her. "Do you like the picture book?"
"Yeah, it was a lot of fun to read." Lian said.
"Well good. I borrowed it from my brother's library, and he's got lots and lots of books. I'll get you some more when I come back, kay?"
"But, when is daddy gonna pick me up?" Lian asked.
"Don't worry, you'll see your daddy soon, until then you just get as comfy as you can. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Good girl." Her sitter kissed her on the cheek. "Now, what kind of books would you like this time?"
"Ones with supaheroes like my daddy." Lian said.
"I think I can manage that. Now don't go anywhere. I'll be right back. You promise?"
"Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die."
That just made the woman laugh and ruffle Lian's hair. Her sitter got up from the couch and walked out the door.
After she left, Lian was trying to remember the name of the pretty necklace her sitter had on. She believed it was called an ankh.
"I really hope I go home soon. I miss daddy." Lian said to the two fishes.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Determination of Lian Harper
Lian sighed. Then she straightened up and walked over to her dad.
He had never lied to her before about anything, and she believed that he wouldn't start now. That was one of the things she loved about her daddy.
This question, this burning question, had been bothering her for days. Plagued her mind like a rat going through a maze and constantly going to dead ends.
She figured she could probably look it up on the computer, but her dad didn't really like her spending time on that thing because he didn't want her to turn into a vegetable. He wanted her to get plenty of exercise and to actually want to go outside of her own free will.
She hoped he would give her the right answer, or that he knew it. But, it was now or never.
She walked up to her dad and tugged at his pant leg.
Roy looked down at his daughter.
"Lian? What is it?" He asked, noting the look on determination on her face.
"Daddy, do ants fart?"
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Audacity of Lian Harper
"You wanted to see me, Ms… Robinson, was it?"
"Sit down, Mr. Harper."
Roy did just that. This was the first time any one of Lian's teachers had ever called him in to school.
"So, what exactly did my daughter do?" Roy asked her teacher.
"Look, I apologize for having to call you in, but it was for a good reason." The teacher rubbed her eyes. "It's because, well, Lian's a good girl, very bright, but she has this penchant for making up stories."
"Stories? What kind of stories?" Roy asked.
"Stories about how you run around in a bright costume saving the world and chasing bad guys, and that her mother is some international assassin. Just this morning she was telling the rest of the class about how you apparently stopped someone called the Anti-Monitor from erasing the Justice League of America from existence!"
Roy sighed and rubbed his temples.
"I am so, so sorry, Ms. Robinson, believe me, when I get home I'll have a talk with Lian."
"See that you do."
And that following evening…
"Lian, your teacher talked to me today about you telling stories?" Roy asked.
Lian gulped.
"Lian, how many times do I have to tell you, it wasn't the Anti-Monitor, it was Krona, KRONA, who tried to erase the Justice League from time."
"I'm sorry, daddy." Lian apologized.
"No harm done, just get your facts straight the next time, kay?"
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Betrayal of Lian Harper
"Okay everyone, let's play Teen Titans." Offered Iris West, the daughter of Wally West. She was with a bunch of other little kids at a function for the Teen Titans, young and old.
"I'm Wonder Girl!" Milagro, Blue Beetle's little sister said.
"I'm Aqualad!" Julienne, the daughter of Mirage claimed.
"I'm Kid Flash!" Iris West shouted.
"And I'll be Speedy, just like my dad." Lian said.
"No way! I'm Speedy!" Jai West, Iris' brother said.
"Then who do I get to be?" Lian asked.
"How 'bout you be Robin?" Iris asked.
"Okay! I'll be Robin!" Lian stated.
And somewhere, Roy Harper clutched his chest in pain. As if someone just drove a dagger made out of ice right through his heart.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The End of Lian Harper
She couldn’t believe it.
The bloodshed, the carnage, the destruction. All about to end.
The battle of the generation gap. The old vs. the new. Batman vs. Superman. It now become Them Vs. the World.
Dinah, the closest thing she had to a grandma, lay there with a bullet in her skull as Grandpa Ollie cradled her body. Tears ran down his eyes as he was joined by their daughter, the third Black Canary.
She looked at her father, looked at Red Arrow, and then, she looked up in the sky.
It, it looked Captain Marvel, but what was he… no.
A bomb. THE bomb. That’s when she knew.
She didn’t say anything, nothing, all she did as the sky lit up. All she did was reach for her father and hugged him. Hugged him tight. Her eyes shut. She didn’t want to see. He didn’t want to see.
They closed their eyes, and mouthed something to each other. They knew exactly what it was, even if it couldn’t be heard over the deafening…
“SHAZAM!”
That was followed by…
BOOM!
There are many ways to die, but for Lian Harper, the Red Hood, this was the only way that could make it seem right.
Posted by Candle on :
Lian at about 18 months:
original photo posted by Zman4386
[ June 09, 2010, 03:44 AM: Message edited by: Candle ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Addiction ran in her blood. There was no doubt about it.
Lian clutched at her stomach in agony. Her little forehead was flushed with sweat.
She moaned in pain.
She should’ve known better. She should’ve listened to her dad. But she didn’t.
It’s her own fault, she has to tough it out.
She started breathing heavily and gasping. But it was all up to her.
…
Her dad stood at the door, waiting, waiting for his daughter’s pain to be over.
“I’m gonna kill Dick. I don’t care, I, I am going to kill Batman.” He said aloud to himself.
It was Dick’s fault, of course, he got Lian the stuff she wanted, that led to this moment. Would it be possible to kill Batman? Scratch that.
But it was Lian’s fault as well. He told her no but she didn’t listen, and went around his back.
Of course, he figured going cold turkey was punishment enough as it is. He remembers how horrible it was, and, despite his painful recollection, this was one of those times when being a parent meant you’re a jerk.
…
A half hour later she walked out into her dad’s arms.
“Daaaadeeeee…” She moaned, burying her head in his chest.
“Lian? Feeling better?” Her dad asked.
“No.” She moaned.
“Well, maybe next time you’ll listen.” Roy said.
“No more Choco-Sugar Shock Rocket cereal, I know.” Lian agreed. “But it’s so good!”
“Lian…” Roy sighed and just hugged her tighter. “They said the same thing about the internet.”
Posted by Candle on :
Part of a eulogy to a child of promise:
original photo posted by PancakePal
[ May 18, 2010, 12:36 AM: Message edited by: Candle ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I wonder if the death of the Dibnys or Blue Beetle had this much of an impact.
Posted by Caliente on :
Love your little ficlets! So cute. I was not pleased with what DC decided to do to Lian. Just... uncool. But these almost make it better!
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Oh! I didn't even know someone replied on here. I am SO sorry to keep you waiting.
But thanx.
Have you joined the group?
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
This was another story based on a picture by DeviantArtist LevyRasputin... the picture is entitled "Stupid Cupid".
The Inquisition of Lian Harper
Lian was looking for her Aunt Mia and Uncle Connor, who were visiting at Titans Tower, when she saw a sight she'd never forget. Her dad, Roy Harper, trying to slink by carrying his bow… and dressed in a diaper.
"Daddy?" She asked, wide-eyed.
"Lian!" Roy gasped, startled at his daughter seeing him in this get-up. "Uh, I was, uh-" He stammered.
"Daddy how come you're wearing a diaper?" Lian asked, eyeing the white cloth wrapped around his waist that made a makeshift diaper.
"Because I-"
"Did you have an accident?" Lian asked, cutting off her dad.
"A what?" He asked.
"An accident. You know, like, did you poo-"
"NO." He quickly cut her off, blushing like an idiot as he led her into a room, away from the hall where people could be walking down.
"Then how come you're wearing a diaper?" She asked again.
"It's not a real diaper. It's because, um, daddy had to dress like Cupid." He tried to explain.
"Why?"
"For Aunt Donna."
"Why?"
"For Valentine's Day."
"Why?"
"Because daddy had to do it for Uncle Connor and Aunt Mia's sick pleasure." He said with an immense look of displeasure and anger.
"Why?"
"Because daddy lost at darts."
Lian gasped. Her daddy NEVER lost at darts. Not even to Grandpa Ollie.
"How come you lost at darts?" She asked.
"Because daddy was drunk. Very, very drunk." He said with indignity.
"How come you were drunk? I mean, very, very drunk?"
Roy almost laughed at the way she asked the question, yet just looked down, averting her gaze.
"Because… because daddy doesn't have any dignity."
"…how come you don't have any dignity?"
"Because I'm an idiot." He frankly stated.
"Don't be silly! You're not an idiot." Lian adamantly told him. Roy picked her up and smiled a bit.
"You're sweet. Kind of makes me forget what it's gonna be like when the pictures get out on the internet." Roy sighed.
Lian began to think.
…
Roy's eyelids were pried upon out of his sleep, trying to nod off the rest of his hangover headache. Lian stood in front of him, grinning broadly.
"Here you go, daddy!" She shoved a bounce of pictures in his hands.
"Huh? What's-" He asked, then stopped when he realized what they were.
"I got the pictures of you as Cupid from Aunt Mia, Uncle Connor, and Uncle Wally." Lian said. Indeed, they were photos of him giving Donna the box of chocolates, much to the amazement/horror of her aunt and uncle. And some of them were butt shots.
"How'd you do that?" Roy asked in amazement.
His answer was questioned by Wally, who was walking down the hall with Mia and Connor, and sporting black eyes.
"That kid needs to stop hanging around Dick and Dinah. She's got a right hook like Ted Grant." Wally said.
"My girl!" Roy happily cheered as he squeezed Lian into a bear hug of fatherly pride.
"Your welcome, daddy." Lian said. "But if you wanna thank me…"
"Yes?"
"Could you take off the diaper? It's kinda weird."
The story with Death is quite poignant. I remember the comic a few years ago when Donna Troy died, and Lian thought she'd just come back like Grandpa Ollie and Superman did--and it turned out she was right. Interestingly, Death hasn't taken Lian on to the afterlife yet in your story; maybe she knows Lian will just be going back anyway?
Batdude gets smacked in face with plunger arrow FTW! Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I've got that one: it was collected in The Death and Return of Donna Troy.
But I've gotta remember to edit the one with Death, I misspelled Wandsworth's name.
Posted by Candle on :
original posted by bskelton32117
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Awww...
Kind of makes you forget they kind of perverted her in the final issue.
Posted by Candle on :
That drawing with Lian laughing and her dad with the bat is WONDERFUL, although!
original photo posted by picturedog3
I just changed things with fresco.
[ July 21, 2010, 02:19 AM: Message edited by: Candle ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
... :speechless:
...damn it why is there NO emoticon for speechless IT RUINED MY MOMENT.
Posted by Candle on :
:silly: Oh drat! None for that either! Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Can I post that on DA?
Posted by Candle on :
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
REVISED
The Burn of Lian Harper
“Come on daddy, we’re gonna be late!”
“Hold on, Lian, I just gotta finish getting dressed!”
“You’ve been saying that for-eeeeeeeever!”
“I have not!”
“Have too!”
“Have not!”
“Have too!”
“Arguing’s not gonna make me get dressed faster.” Roy told her.
“Well I wouldn’t be arguing if you’d hurry!” Lian shot back.
“Watch the attitude, missy, or you’re not going out at all!”
Lian stuck her tongue at her dad.
“I saw that!” Roy called from behind a closed door.
Lian stomped around the living room dressed in her little Robin costume, a plastic orange jack-o’-lantern pail on the coffee table. She decided to take off the green domino mask for now, as it looked like they weren’t going anytime soon.
She’d been waiting for her dad to change into his costume for the longest time possible. It felt as if by the time he was done it would be Thanksgiving and she wouldn’t get any candy at all.
KNOCK-KNOCK.
Lian escaped her from her fuming to get the door.
“Who is it?” She asked before opening it.
“It’s Uncle Dick, sweetie.” The voice behind the door answered.
Lian, of course, checked through the peephole first before opening the door. True enough, there was her uncle, Richard “Dick” Grayson, dressed in a GI soldier costume.
“Hey princess!” Dick hugged the girl after she’d open the door to let him in. “Happy Halloween.”
“Hi Uncle Dick, Happy Halloween.” She said as she hugged him back. Lian led him into the house.
“Ready to go trick-or-treating?” Dick asked. “Love the costume, by the way.” The ex-Robin complimented her.
“It’s okay, I guess.” Lian sulked as climbed onto the couch and folded her arms.
“Something wrong, princess?” Dick asked.
“Daddy’s taking too long to put his costume on and I’m not gonna get any of the good stuff like he promised.” Lian moaned.
“Poor baby.” Dick sympathized. “I’ll tell your dad to-”
The sound of a door opening cut Dick off.
“Speak of the devil.” Dick said.
“Okay angel, I’m ready to-” Roy’s words trailed off and vanished when he saw Dick in the living room. Dick’s jaw dropped as he saw Roy… dressed in a Robin costume as well. The more current Robin to be precise. Tim Drake. He even had on a domino mask of his own.
“Crap.” Roy muttered under his breath, so as Lian wouldn‘t hear and scold him for using a “no-no” word.
“Finally, daddy!” Lian sighed as she put her mask back on, then ran up to her dad, pail in hand.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” Dick was on the floor, desperately attempting to hold his sides to control his laughter. Roy scowled. “I didn‘t realize you were my biggest fan, Roy!” Dick choked out.
“S-Shut up! It was the only one they had left at the store so shut up!” Roy attempted to rationalize and heal his wounded pride.
Lian didn’t like it when her dad made fun of her aunts and uncles. She also didn’t like it when they made fun of her dad. That was her job.
“You know, I could’ve-*heh*-lent you one of my old Robin costumes if you‘d asked.” Dick said as he was getting up.
“Thanks, but I would’ve preferred one with PANTS.” Roy shot at Dick, who’d be known for running around in green scaly… speedo type thing when he was Robin. Dick shut up.
“Oooh, you got burned, Uncle Dick!” Lian laughed.
“Thank you, Lian.” Roy thanked his daughter as the two head out for some Halloween fun.
“I try, daddy.”
[ September 26, 2010, 02:31 PM: Message edited by: Sarcasm Kid ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
REVISED
This one was also based on another pic by LevyRasputin.
The Workout of Lian Harper
“Daddy!”
“Princess!”
Lian ran into her father’s arms as he walked into their house for the first time in three months after he was hospitalized for injuries due to fighting supervillains. Roy picked her up and gave her a tight squeeze.
“I missed you so much, daddy.” Lian said.
“I missed you too, Etai Yazi.” Roy replied. “Did you have fun staying with Grandpa Ollie?” He asked again, setting her down as the two walked to Roy’s bedroom.
“Yeah, but it was hard. I got so scared thinking about you in the hospital for so long.” Lian stated sadly.
“Aww, I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean to make you worry.” Roy apologized.
“It’s okay daddy. As long as you’re better.” Lian hugged her dad again. Then, however, she backed away when she felt something wrong.
“Um…” She said, trying to figure out what was different.
“What is it, Lian?” Roy asked, noting the worried look on his daughter’s face.
“Something seems… different about you, daddy.” She said, slowly going over him.
“Different?” He asked. Well, his hair was a little longer, his skin was a bit paler since he was in the hospital.
“Yeah, I don’t… oh, I see!” Lian clapped her hands and started giggling.
“What?” Roy asked, trying to delve into the mind of his child.
“Daddy…! *giggles* You got fat!”
Roy blanked.
“Wha?”
“See?” She pointed to his midsection, which was no longer well toned. He now had a small belly. On a guy with an archer’s build it showed.
“Huh, I guess I did gain a couple of pounds.”
“Or twenty.” Lian giggled as she kept poking his gut.
“Hey shut up.” Roy laughed. “It’s not that big.”
All that time stuck in a hospital bed doing nothing I lost most of my muscle tone. Great. Ollie and the guys are never gonna let me live this down if they see me like this.
“Daddy you can’t go running in your costume anymore with that belly.” Lian told him. “You’ll look like Blue Beetle.”
Roy blanked.
“And how do you know about that, little miss?” He asked, sometimes amazed at the amount of knowledge she had on the superhero world.
“Aunt Dinah used to tell me about when she was in the League. Maybe I should call-”
“NO!” Roy put his hand over her mouth. He did NOT want anyone hearing, especially Dinah. The woman knows dozens of martial arts forms. Working out with her would be a nightmare beyond all nightmares. “Lian, honey, relax, this”, he patted his stomach, “is nothing I can’t take care of on my own.”
Lian just smiled.
“Don’t worry, daddy, I’ll help you. Just leave everything to me!”
…
Even though most people have problems adjusting to their own beds again after being in a hospital for so long, Roy slept like a rock.
Yawning, Roy dragged himself out of a sound sleep and into the kitchen, not before putting on a pair of pajama pants and shirt. Lian already had enough problems, he didn’t need to scar her for life by letting her see him in his underwear.
He rubbed the sleep crap out of his eyes as he waited for the coffee to finish brewing when a shrill whistling noise burst through his eardrums.
“Gaah!” Yep, that woke him up. “Lian?! What are you-”
She stood in front of him in the kitchen, fully dressed, with a small whistle around her neck and a perky attitude.
“Let’s go, move it out Mister! We’ve gotta whip you back into shape!” She barked at him like a drill sergeant. Roy simply stared at her.
“Lian, it’s too early for this.” He deadpanned as he scratched the back of his head.
“It’s never too early for exercise.” She cheerily replied. Her happiness so early in the morning was a bit sickening for a half-asleep Roy. Morning people rarely had a pleasant effect on most people.
“You sound like a General Glory comic, Lian. Look, I’m going by the gym first thing this afternoon, then I’m gonna-”
“Uh uh.” She cut him off. “The sooner you’re back in shape the sooner you’ll be beating up bad guys. So we‘re gonna start now, or… here.”
She let a couple of pictures fall on the floor. Roy picked them up, and his eyes bugged out of his head.
“What the?!”
They were pictures of him from the night before, sleeping in a pair of boxer shorts, his belly exposed for all to see.
“Unless you want Mommy, aunt Donna, and everyone else to get a better look at your-”
“Wha-where’d you get these?!” Roy stammered. Now he was WIDE awake.
“I used the special night vision camera Tim lent me the last time he was here.” Lian stated matter-of-factly.
“Why did Tim leave behind-gimme those!” He lunged at the pictures in Lian’s hand, and like one of the Flashes she bolted out of his way. She skipped out of the room like a woodland nymph.
“Missed me, daddy!” She stuck her tongue out and waved the extra photos in her hand.
“Young lady you are so grounded when I get my hands on you-!” Roy got up and started chasing her around the house.
“Come on, corporal! You’re gonna hafta do better than that!” Lian taunted.
He chased her around the hallway and around the living room. Lian hopped over the couch and Roy attempted to do the same, but got too exhausted too quickly and sat down on it to catch his breath, until another shrill whistle went straight through him.
“Giving up already, sergeant?” Lian mocked him.
“Jus’, just give me a -”
“Jeez, daddy, you would’ve been able to leap over the couch in a second if you weren’t fat.”
“I’M NOT FAT!”
He reached over to try to grab her. That certainly renewed his energy. Lian just laughed and ran into the other room.
And the chase just went on and on for the whole day.
“I’m gonna get you, Lian!” Roy threatened.
“Ahaha! Come on daddy, there’s no such thing as a chubby superhero!”
…
Meanwhile, in the 31st Century, Chuck Taine, a.k.a. Bouncing Boy, felt a… disturbance.
[ September 26, 2010, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Sarcasm Kid ]
Posted by Candle on :
These are both wonderful!
Just make sure you act as an editor and correct any missing words or extra words or sentences that could be clearer or punctuation stuff if you use them as a presentation to anyone.
The stories are beautiful, don't let TPTB think of anything else. Make them perfect.
<3 the Bouncing Boy ending.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Well Chuck's really the only large superhero DC has that everyone was familiar with so I had to use him.
But thanx. How do you like the pic?
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Levy actually did a couple of pictures to go along with "The Workout" after I asked! I was only expecting one, actually. Posted by Sketch Lad on :
Cute drawings!
Posted by Candle on :
Yes, they're all adorable. I don't think that Lian would call her dad a 'FATASS', though. Especially since it's his tummy that's the problem. Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Here's what the artist said when I originally asked what happened. She uses the term "headcanon" for the events.
"In my headcanon, Roy got severely injuried by Prometheus when the other Titans were missing on Marvel's earth and got sidelined for a while. He just put on some pounds and on a man of his though built it quite shows, but he's not properly fat, just a little more than before. I write Lian as the same age as Damian in current continutity, she is therefore approaching that phase of teenagehood when kids like to tease and be snarky, that's why she loves to call daddy fattie."
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
REVISED
The Wiles of Lian Harper
“Flesh Eating Insect Offspring. The movie about a woman who unexpectedly gives birth to a horde of child sized, flesh-eating cockroaches who devour the staff and residents of a New York hospital.”
“They said the movie got banned in Italy, Germany, and Japan!”
Lian Harper looked up at her surrogate grandfather, Oliver Queen, with the burning hope of a child in her eyes. She’d just finish explaining to him about the latest horror movie to be on TV, the one which her dad EXPLICITLY said she couldn’t watch.
“What does that mean?” Lian asked, a bit confused about the last part she just recited.
“It means there is no way in Hell you’re-” Ollie quickly shut up when he realized he used one of the H words.
“Oooh! You said a bad word!” Lian lectured.
“Cr-I mean, poop, I did.” Ollie realized. He already screwed up with Roy, he didn’t need to warp his ex-sidekick’s kid while he was at it.
“That’s okay, Grandpa, I won’t tell daddy you did. IF we can watch-”
“Oh no way, little miss.” Ollie quickly cut her off. “Blackmail don’t work on this old man.”
Lian held her breath, then sighed.
“Fine. Daddy did say that movie was too scary for anyone to watch.” She narrowed her eyes slyly. “Even you.”
“What?” Ollie wasn’t sure he heard that last part. “Your dad said what?”
“Yeah, daddy said this movie would probably scar the both of us for life.” She said oh-so innocently as she does so well.
“Oh, did he?” Ollie asked smugly.
…
Roy managed to get back home at some time around 3:30 AM. Still dressed as Arsenal and tiptoeing as to not wake his sleeping angel, he was going to check on Lian first when he heard the toilet flushing. Expecting Ollie, Roy was surprised to find-
“Lian?”
“Hey, daddy. Missed you.” Lian yawned as she went to hug her dad.
“Missed you too, honey. What are still you doing up?” He asked her.
“Had to use bathroom.” She sleepily muttered. “How patrol?” She asked. He shrugged.
“It was alright.” He answered as he led her back to her room. “You have fun with Grandpa?”
“Yeah. I asked him if we could watch that movie-”
Roy sighed as he helped tuck Lian back into bed.
“Lian, I thought I told you-”
“Don’t worry, daddy. We just watched some old Spongebob episode instead.” Lian explained as she sunk her head back onto the pillow.
“Oh.” Roy sighed, quietly thanking God and his ex-mentor as he helped pile back on the numerous stuffed animals Lian “needed” to sleep.
“Night, daddy, love you.” She said with the last ounce of waking energy.
“Night, angel. Love you too.” Roy kissed her on the forehead as he quietly left the room.
Roy found Ollie, his back facing the red-headed archer, in the living room. Staring at the TV.
“Ollie? Hey, Ollie, thanks for not letting her watch the-”
Roy stopped short when he saw how horribly pale his former mentor was.
“Ollie?”
Ollie’s lips were trembling and he looked as if all hope and love had been sucked out of his soul by something too horrible to describe in the English language.
“She, you said, movie, too scary, and-”
“Oh God you saw that roach movie, didn’t you?”
“They, they just kept coming OUT of her. They don’t stop.” Ollie kept muttering. “Everywhere. They never-”
Roy was too busy trying to call someone on his cell phone to hear Ollie’s rambling.
“Dinah? It’s Roy. Yeah, I think Lian broke Ollie.”
“Never stop.”
“Yeah, again.”
[ September 26, 2010, 02:33 PM: Message edited by: Sarcasm Kid ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
REVISED
The Argument of Lian Harper
“Daddy, I just don’t see what’s wrong?”
Lian Harper, a young girl with black hair and Asian features, sat in her room, on her bed, as her father, Roy, a muscular red-head, sat next to her explaining the situation to her.
“Lian, Sooraya said you were firing a gun off in broad daylight. You don’t see anything wrong with that?” Roy asked her.
“I was just practicing.” Lian attempted to justify. She was expected to become his sidekick some day, and figured she needed to know how to use guns.
“You didn’t even bother to use a muffler.” Roy pointed out.
“I couldn’t find one.”
“That’s besides the point.”
“You brought it up.” Lian pointed out herself. Roy grimaced. He had.
“ANYWAY, you know very well you aren’t allowed to train with guns yet. You could have hurt, or even, God forbid, killed someone.” Roy lectured. He remembered what it was like growing up without a mom, and a dad. The closet thing he had was his mentor, Ollie Queen. Maybe that was why he was so screwed up in certain ways. So he didn’t want his daughter, whom he was raising by himself, to turn out the same way. Make the same mistakes he did. He needed to be tough but fair. “Just be thankful no one heard the gun going off or someone could‘ve panicked.”
Lian rolled her eyes, even though she too was thankful for that.
“Daddy, I didn’t even use real bullets! They were rubber! And I made sure I was using it where there was no one in the way. Gimme SOME credit.”
Roy sighed. He knew this was gonna be difficult.
“Lian, it doesn’t matter what was in the gun or where you were! You’re too young to be using one, especially by yourself.”
“Damian uses guns and he‘s the same age as me.” Lian rationalized. That just caused Roy to laugh a little.
“First off, HE was raised by the League of Assassins. Second, even with that I’m not comfortable with that kid, or ANY, using firearms. Third, YOU are not Damian. Which I‘m also thankful to God. Is he where you got the gun from?”
“Yes.” Lian said.
“Well, no more of that, alright?”
“Whatever.” Lian muttered. Roy sighed again and put his arm around Lian’s shoulders.
“Lian, I told you that if you want to train you have to do it when I’m around and with what I say‘s appropriate. I‘m not trying to sound bossy, princess. I just don‘t want you to get hurt.”
“I know, but you only practice with me a few times a week. You said Grandpa and Brave Bow trained you every morning and every day.” Lian reminded him.
“Yeah. I know honey, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy a lot.” Roy apologized.
“Or maybe if you weren’t a fatty you wouldn’t be embarrassed to put on your costume during the day since people can see your gut.” Lian muttered under her breath.
“Hey, no muttering! And I’m not fat. I just have a few extra pounds on, that‘s all. Nothing wrong with that.” Roy defended as he patted his gut.
“Sure. This is just a little extra.” Lian poked at the small belly he acquired after being hospitalized by a villain. “It’s a nice way of saying ‘fatass’.”
“Watch the backtalk and the language, Miss Sarcasm, USA.” Roy lectured again. Was HE that snarky when he was her age? “ANYWAY-”
“Well daddy what’s the big deal?” Lian cut him off, obviously not getting the hint that what she did was wrong. “I mean, I’ve been around guns since FOREVER, and if I’m gonna be your sidekick, well, YOU use guns. I’ve gotta know this stuff!” Lian pleaded.
“You don’t need to know THIS kind of stuff, Lian. Just because I use guns doesn’t mean you have to.” Roy said in all seriousness. The whole “do as I say, not as I do” move. And God knows with half the crap he’s done he hopes she takes it seriously.
“Yeah, well, maybe I want to know how to use guns! Maybe I WANT to be that kind of superhero!” Lian fumed.
“You aren’t serious?” Roy couldn’t believe his little girl would say that. The thought of his little girl turning into a gun-toting, amoral killing machine made him want to puke. Seeing the look in her father’s eyes, Lian immediately regretted saying it.
“Well I, I dunno. No. I don’t.”
Roy mentally thanked God for that.
“Just, I, you’re not being fair!” Lian pouted.
“Lian-” Roy put a hand to his head. He was starting to get a migraine.
“I can be trusted with guns!” She yelled.
“You are just a little kid!”
“You trust me with a lot of other stuff!”
“No guns! And that’s final!” Roy ordered.
“Ugh! Why are you making such a big deal out of this?!”
“Because you’re acting like your mom!”
Lian lost all anger in her tone and eyes. Her mother, an international assassin and homicidal maniac who destroyed a small country in the Middle East.
“*Gasp*. I, I‘m-”
She let the words sink in, and, quickly, began to cry. Roy felt like a heel, and tried to hold Lian to comfort her as she buried her eyes in his chest.
“Lian? Hey, hey c‘mon baby, I didn‘t mean to yell. Come on, I‘m sorry.” Roy tried to sooth her, realizing he hit the rawest of all nerves when he mentioned Lian’s mom.
“I don’t wanna be like mommy. I don’t!” Lian cried.
“What?” Roy asked as Lian lifted her head to look at him through tear-stained eyes.
“I know it’s not nice to say that about her, and I do love her, r-really. But I don’t wanna h-hurt people like she does. I, I don’t wanna kill anyone, I don‘t wanna be a monster.” She started sobbing harder to the point where she couldn‘t form proper words.
“Listen to me.” Roy said as he looked Lian directly in the eyes. “You are NOT a monster and don‘t you ever think that. You’re my daughter, and you could never hurt anyone. You just need to be more responsible, and so do I.”
Lian trembled as she looked up at him.
“Also, your mom is not a monster. You know that.” Roy explained. “Yeah, she’s done some bad things. Really, really bad things-”
Lian hiccupped and let out another sob as tears ran down her face.
“But the one good thing she’s done was creating you. And I‘ll always be thankful to her for that. Anyone who created someone like you can‘t be a monster.” Roy sadly smiled.
He hugged her tightly, and she returned the sentiment as she started to calm down a bit.
“It’s alright, Lian. Calm down, it’s okay.” He soothed and rocked her gently like he used to when she was a baby.
“I, I didn’t mean to make you mad. I‘m sorry.” Lian said.
“And I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m sorry too. Just, listen, I promise to start training with you more if that’s what you want. But you’re still too young to use guns. When you’re older, okay? For now you’ll have to stick with the bow, and you can only do it with me or one of your aunts or uncles.”
“Does that include Grandpa and Grandma?”
“Yes.”
“And Sooraya?”
“Yep. Does that sound fair?” He asked her in the spirit of compromise. She nodded her head and wiped her nose on her sleeve.
“I-I’m okay with that. I really like using the bow.” She told him. Roy smiled.
“I’m glad you do. Now, you promise to be a bit more patient and responsible if I promise to make more time with you?” Roy asked.
“Yeah.” Lian had managed to stop crying, but her cheeks were still tear-stained.
“Pinky swear?” Roy held up his pinky so the two could perform said swear.
“Pinky swear.” Lian smiled as she agreed.
“Here, dry your eyes.” He took out a handkerchief for her to wipe the tears off her face. “Now then, you wanna go do some training now?”
“No, no that’s okay. Can we watch a movie?” Lian asked.
“Anything you want.” Roy said.
“Do you still love me, daddy?” Lian asked.
“What?” Roy asked incredulously. “Of course! I’ll always love you, Etai Yazi, even if you are a little demon sometimes.”
“And I’ll always love you, daddy, even if you are a fatty.”
They just stuck their tongues at each other.
[ September 26, 2010, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: Sarcasm Kid ]
Posted by Candle on :
Nice. Their exchanges always ring true.
I especially love the Ollie story. And I'm glad that Roy hung in there and didn't back down about the guns! Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Poor Ollie. He was never the same after that movie. I'd love to put THAT in the comic.
Yes, glad Roy was able to hang in there, especially through Lian's snarky comments. That was more based on the second pic Levy drew of Lian teasing Roy.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I revised the last four stories earlier.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Movie of Lian Harper
"So, what is the name of this movie again?"
"It's Sleeping Beauty, babe. Y'know, like the fairy tale."
"Fairy tale? I admit I am still a little unfamiliar with American stories, Roy."
Roy Harper, a muscular red-head, sat in the living room of the mansion, inbetween his young daughter Lian, a girl with black hair and Asian features inherited from her absent mother, and Roy's current girlfriend, Sooraya Qadir, a slender Arabic women with wavy black hair. After an earlier argument between Roy and Lian concerning Lian's unauthorized use of a gun while training, the two went to watch a movie. When Sooraya had asked if she could join, Lian did not object. The three sat watching an old animated movie, a bowl of popcorn on Roy's lap.
Roy was now attempting to explain the movie to Sooraya.
"Actually, Sleeping Beauty's European. It's about this princess who gets cursed by this witch who gets PO'd that she wasn't invited to the kid's christening. So, when she turns 16 she pricks her finger on this thing called a spindle and falls asleep. And she's gonna stay that way until she gets kissed by her true love."
"But, how can he be her true love if she never met him before?" Sooraya question, still confused on the subject. "They have only known each other for five minutes."
"Eh. All fairy tales usually have plot holes like that." Roy waved off said question with a mouthful of popcorn.
"Oh. Did the story also have the singing and dancing animals and the dancing mops?" Sooraya questioned yet again.
"No. Um… yeah, Disney has a habit of putting that stuff in all their movies. It's 'cutsey'." Roy grimaced a bit as he swallowed. "Still, the old ones are a lot better to that direct-to-DVD crap they put ou-"
"Daddy I can't hear! It's the part where they're taking her to the castle." Lian shushed her dad.
"Sorry, angel." Roy apologized.
"Lian I did not take you for one who enjoys 'cutsey' movies." Sooraya asked the young girl.
"Oh, I'm just waiting for the part Maleficent turns into a dragon. I love that." Lian told her father's girlfriend. You couldn't see it, but a little light bulb lit above Roy's head.
"You didn't always." He said in a taunting tone as he tussled Lian's hair.
"Daddy shut up." Lian quickly told him, realizing where he was going, but Roy was turned to Sooraya.
"When she was little I always had to watch this stuff with her. She'd freak during the scary parts, then she'd go hide in her closet for the rest of the night until I could bribe her out."
"Really?" Sooraya asked, surprised.
"No I didn't!" Lian defended, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment.
"I'd usually have to give her hot chocolate and let her sleep in my bed with me to calm her down." Roy remembered. "Oh man, when she saw Fantasia, that part with the dinosaurs, I had to sleep in the closet with her."
"Lalalalalalala I can't hear you!" Lian shouted.
"This is whole new side to you, Lian." Sooraya smiled at the girl. "I would not think the daughter of a superhero would be so scared by a-"
"I did not! I was not scared!" Lian started shaking her dad, almost knocking the bowl of popcorn out of his lap. "Daddy stop it stop it, ugh!"
"Alright, whatever you say, princess." Roy held his hands of defeat and kissed her on the head. "No more embarrassing stories."
"Hmph." Lian pouted and crossed her arms as she turned her attention back to the movie.
"Speaking of, how did things go earlier?" Sooraya leaned closer to whisper to Roy.
"They're cool, babe. We talked and we managed to compromise." Roy told her in a hushed tone. Sooraya smiled.
"I'm glad. I would hate to think there are any problems between you and Lian."
"What can I say, I'm that kind of guy." Roy finished, proud of himself.
"Gimme that." Lian said as she yanked the popcorn bowl away from her dad.
"Hey! Lian I was eating that." Roy said indigently as Lian popped a few pieces in her mouth.
"I know." Lian motioned, her eyesight turning from the movie to Roy's midsection. "I think you've had enough popcorn, daddy." She said, and then poked the small belly he developed from being in a hospital.
It was now Lian's turn to make fun of her dad. Fair's fair, after all.
"I thought I told you to knock that off." Roy lectured her.
"I'll knock it off when you stop being fat." Lian shot at her dad with a smug, sarcastic look on her face.
"Shut up. I'm not fat. Besides, the ladies think it's cute." Roy patted his gut in defense. He did have a rep as a ladies' man. It would explain Lian's mom, a homicidal maniac who bombed a small Middle Eastern country. Or not.
"Sure they do." Lian laughed as she flicked an un-popped kernel at Roy's forehead. She didn't miss.
"Why me? Where did I go wrong?" Roy sighed, wondering when his sweet, innocent little girl became so willing to make fun of her poor old dad for carrying a few extra pounds and telling stories about when she was still sweet and innocent.
"Hey."
Roy turned to face Sooraya, who started stroking Roy's chin and soul patch.
"You are right, you know." She told him. He got the same idea she had, and the two started kissing.
Lian, who had turned back to the movie, turned her eyes for one second and saw her father and his girlfriend making out. She was immediately repulsed.
"Ewwww daddy why are you so gross!" She threw a pillow at him. "Why are adults always so-?!"
"-and all the powers of HELL!"
Lian went pale when she saw the villainess suddenly transform into a gigantic dragon in a cloud of smoke and hellfire.
"So what?" Roy asked.
"Nothing." Lian quickly said as she started clinging to her dad's side.
"Pause it." Sooraya said.
"Where you going, babe?" Roy asked as his girlfriend got up.
"To get us some hot chocolate."
"She takes the little marshmallows with some cinnamon." Roy told her. Sooraya nodded, and kissed him before she left.
"... Thanks, daddy." Lian told her dad, clinging closer to him.
"Anytime, angel." Roy said as he put his arm around her.
[ September 28, 2010, 09:20 PM: Message edited by: Sarcasm Kid ]
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Color of Lian Harper
"219... 220... 221... 222... 22... 3... Ugh."
Roy Harper let out a last breath of air and set the weight down. He got up and sighed. He'd just finish his daily exercise routine in order to stay fighting trim, as superheroes usually do.
After showering off Roy got into a pair of red sweatpants and a brown tank top. He stopped to look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had a fair complexion and long red hair (not mullet long, mind you) and a soul patch on his chin. For an archer he had a big, strong build, and washboard abs.
"Looking good, Harper." He joked to his reflection. He then went to look for his daughter.
"Lian, I'm gonna go order dinner. Do you want pizza or burgers or-"
Roy was cut off by the sight of his petite little girl, Lian, a girl of about five years old who took after her mother, with asian features and almond brown eyes. And hair which was normally onyx black was now covered in all manner of red goo.
"Hi daddy!" Lian said as what might have been ketchup dripped off her head onto the floor.
"…"
Roy couldn't exactly find the words to express how he felt at that moment. Actually, he could but not in language suitable for a child.
…
"But daddy-ow that hurts!" Lian cried.
Roy had taken her into the bathroom and was now trying to wash out everything that Lian had put in her hair. So much for dinner. Lian stood in the bathtub, concealed by soapy water and bubbles as Roy held up the shower head to spray some of the stuff out of her hair.
"I'm sorry, angel, but-did you use tomato sauce too?-why are trying to color your hair?" Roy asked.
"I used anything red I could find. Tomato sauce, ketchup, red paint…" Lian listed off the top of her head. Roy laughed.
"Yeah, well, putting ketchup in your hair ain't gonna make you a redhead, Lian. Sorry."
"Oh." Lian said, dejected.
"Hold on, I've almost got it all out." Roy informed her.
"Daddy, didn't I used to have red hair?" Lian asked as Roy wrung out a washcloth.
"Well, yeah, when you were a baby. But it started turning darker and eventually it became black like your mom's. Don't ask me how, I'm still confused myself." Roy finished explaining.
"Like mommy's…" Lian trailed off. Roy now picked up her sad mood.
"Lian, what's wrong? You never used to care about what color your hair was before."
"Well, I realized I don't really look like you, daddy. So, um, I wanted to change my hair to match your's." Lian finished explaining. That made Roy laugh again, but not in a mean way.
"I'm flattered, Lian, but I think your hair is pretty just the way it is." Roy smiled as he told her.
"No it's not." She didn't feel the same way.
"What?" Roy's smile dropped as he saw that Lian might start crying.
"After school today, while I was waiting for you, I was with this girl in my class named Amy. I told her, about, how my daddy was big time superhero Arsenal."
"Stop, you're gonna make me blush." He joked, but still did not smile.
"But, Amy's cousin came over to pick her up. She told him I was Arsenal's daughter. But he said that's impossible, because, because you're white and you've got red hair, and he said that I'm probably Chinese or Japanese, or something."
Roy could not believe his ears.
"Wait. This kid actually said that to you?" Roy asked, dumbfounded.
"He's not a kid, he's in college, Amy said." Lian finished saying.
"Really. What's his name?"
…
The next day Lian was waiting outside the school with Amy, another little girl with blonde hair and green eyes that one dumb boy named Jack said were the color of a frog. Lian's hair was back to being onyx black.
"You sure you wanna wait for my cousin?" Amy asked, remembering what it was like the other day.
"Uh-huh." Lian said, waiting for her dad as well. When, speak of the devil…
"Let's go Amy. You're mom's waiting." In came Chester, a twenty-two year old college student with straggly black hair and a bad complexion to much his sour demeanor. "Don't know why she makes me pick you up." He muttered.
"Chester you were really mean to Lian yesterday. Apologize." Amy commanded to her older cousin. Chester just looked down at Lian, who looked neither sad, nor happy, nor angry to see him.
"Well, sorry kid, but there's no way in hell you're dad is-"
"A-hem." Someone tapped Johnny on the shoulder. He turned around and… there stood Roy, fully decked in his Arsenal gear, right down to the sunglasses.
"Daddy!"
"Wow." Amy whispered.
"Aah!" Chester yelped.
"So, you're Chester, right? The one who made my daughter feel bad because she doesn't look like me?" Roy asked with a coldness that makes space look like Tahiti.
"She, she really is-" Chester stammered.
"You're the guy who called my little angel 'Chinese or Japanese or something'?" Roy asked again.
"Well I-"
"Or, you think just because she takes more after her mom there's no way she could be related to me, right?"
"I, uh-, I didn't-"
"You think you can call my little girl a liar? Make her feel bad about having black hair?"
"No! I-"
"Or you think just because she looks Asian that automatically means she's from China or Japan?"
"What's your daddy doing?" Amy asked Lian.
"Being cool." Lian replied as Roy had backed Chester against a wall.
"I got news for you, bud, I don't look it but I'm part Native American. I got raised by the Tachini Navajo tribe in Arizona, and I'm proud of it. My daughter is Vietnamese, Irish, Navajo, and American. I don't need an ignorant butt monkey like you venting out his idiocracy on my princess, or making her feel bad just because you're an idiot."
"I-"
Roy leaned in closer to whisper the next part of his triad.
"You know, I could have every single Teen Titan and member of the JLA coming down on your ass like the wrath of God for making my daughter feel bad just because she takes after her Vietnamese mother. But I wouldn't need them to. I could cave your empty head in just by using your fat, pimply ass as a dodge ball if I wanted to."
"He could, I've seen it." Lian said.
Roy took Chester and made him face Lian.
"Now what do you say to my daughter… punk?" Roy asked him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Chester apologized over and over again.
"Apology accepted." Lian said with a smile.
"Good. Now, try to be a little more open minded in the future, kay?" Roy patted Chester on the back, dropping all hostility and going back to his more easy-going attitude.
"Uh, uh…"
"Close enough. Hey princess!" Roy said as bent down to pick Lian up.
"Hi daddy!" Lian replied.
"You have fun at kindergarten today?"
"Yeah, the teacher read us some of the Wizard of Oz, and then we all got to draw our favorite characters."
"Yeah? Who'd you draw?"
"I drew the Scarecrow."
"Well what a coincidence, he's my favorite too."
"Yeah?"
Roy set Lian down and the two began to walk to Roy's jeep as Roy discussed their plans for the night.
"Come on. I thought tonight we'd make chili pizza with Grandpa's recipe. But first you wanna rent some movies on the way home?"
"Jackie Chan?" Lian expectedly asked.
"Naturally." Roy confirmed.
"Cool!" Lian cheered. "Bye Amy! See you tomorrow!" Lian waved to her classmate.
"Nice meeting you, Amy." Roy called to the other little girl.
"Bye Lian! Bye Mr. Harper!" Amy waved back.
Her cousin had slumped down to the ground.
"Chester? You gonna get up now?" Amy asked.
"I think I had an accident."
Posted by Candle on :
Cute story. <3 the red hair scenes, especially!
I'm not sure of the spelling, but I think the word you want isn't triad, but 'tirade'?
I enjoy ALL of your Lian stories and her wonderful relationship with her dad. And it's nice to know about Arsenal's American Indian background.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Oh! Damn I meant triad. Thanx.
Posted by Candle on :
You meant 'triad'? lol
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I got confused. Ugh. Sorry.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
I keep getting pictures this week.
Here's Lian from Burn.
And Lian and Roy from Argument. Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
A gift to Levy for her birthday.
The Gift of Lian Harper
"Good morning, sunshine." The soothing, Arabic voice of the slender, raven-haired Sooraya Qadir spoke into the ear of her lover and boyfriend, muscular, red-haired Roy Harper as she lied down next to him in bed.
"Mmff. Watimezit?" Roy sleepily muttered, eyes still closed and covered in some sleep crap.
"It's 4:30. How does it feel to officially be a year older?" Sooraya asked on this, the day of Roy's birthday.
"Old. And tired." Roy muttered again as Sooraya kissed his cheek.
"My poor baby. Maybe if you get lucky somebody got you a cane today." She joked. Roy pulled the covers over his head again.
"It's still early, babe. I just fell asleep a while ago." Roy moaned.
"I know," Sooraya said as she pulled the covers off Roy, "I just thought maybe you'd like one of your gifts a little early." She finished speaking as her hand started trailing down to Roy's-kids are probably reading this, so you smut-minded adults and voyeurs use your filthy, filthy imaginations.
"Oh, Miss Qadir." Roy laughed a little as Sooraya's hand reached a certain area.
Five minutes later the two had started making out.
"Why were you up so late anyway?" Sooraya asked.
"I was trying to break Lian's highscore on one of her Wii games after she went to bed." Roy explained.
"Why?"
"I tried playing with her last night and she kept distracting me. Said I was 'jiggling'."
"Heh." Sooraya muffled her giggle, earning a shot from Roy, always defensive about his 'few extra pounds' earned during hospitalization.
"Hey, I don't 'jiggle'. …Do I?"
"Of course not. Well, it is your birthday so I will cut some slack." Sooraya told him. All of a sudden Roy stood up and stared at Sooraya with quivering eyes. "Roy?"
"S-she's turned you against me."
"Roy-"
"E-even on his birthday, a man c-can't get a break."
"Roy…"
"Why does everyone I love do this to me??!!!!!"
"Roy." Sooraya rolled her eyes.
"I'M SO ALONE!"
Sooraya put her index finger to his lips.
"Roy Harper. Hush. I think you are fine just the way you are."
"Works every time." Roy said, smiling smugly.
"You are a jerk."
"You're sexy."
"Daddeeeeee…" a whining, half-asleep voice alerted the two adults, "your melodrama woke me uuuuuuup."
Standing in the doorway was Roy's daughter Lian, in an oversized Batman shirt carrying with her a penguin plushy.
"I'm sorry baby, go back to bed."
"No, now I'm awake. And it's your fault." Lian walked past him and Sooraya and climbed onto Roy's bed, crawling under the sheets with Pengy in hand. "I hope you're proud of yourself. I'm gonna be an isonmiac and it's your fault."
"That's 'insomniac'." Roy said, poking his head under the sheets.
"That too." Lian said, looking directly at him.
"Lian, if you go back to bed now you can help me with the cake later." Sooraya coaxed the girl out with future promises of chocolate batter.
"Oh, good, because chances are daddy's gonna inhale the whole thing before anyone else has a chance at it."
"Lian, honey." Roy begged her with big, pleading eyes, getting tired of her fat jokes. "For my birthday, please, no jokes today. Please? Pretty please angel? Princess?"
"Okay, okay daddy, just stop doing the puppy dog eyes. It's creepy when you do it." Lian shivered.
"Now come on, back to bed." Roy helped her off his bed and led her back to her room.
"Alright. Happy birthday, daddy." Lian kissed her dad on the cheek as she went back into her room.
"Thanks, kid." Roy kissed her back.
Back in his room…
"So, we're alone." Roy told his girlfriend.
"I can see that." Sooraya observed.
"So…" Roy said, getting closer to Sooraya, "can I have my gift now, or do I have to wait?"
"SAILOR LIAN'S LOVE HANDLE ATTACK!"
"GAAH!" Her dad screamed as Lian grabbed said handles. Lian stood there with the biggest, most triumphant smile she had in a long time. Her dad stared at her as if she just blew up the building.
"NOW I promise to not do anymore today." Lian told him.
"Okay, that's it! You're now living in the monastery with Uncle Connor!" Roy screamed.
"You have to catch me first!" Lian taunted, and ran out the room, followed by her dad.
"Hope you like fasting and wearing robes, Lian!"
"You have no sense of humor, daddy!"
"You're only making it worse, Lian! If you stop now I promise they won't shave your head!"
"I'd like to see them try!"
"I'll do it myself!"
"Should I stop them?" Sooraya wondered. "No, it's his birthday."
Posted by Candle on :
Cute! Again. Pretty much always.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Snippiness of Lian Harper
Roy Harper plopped down on the couch and let out a long, well-earned sigh of relief after the tiring day he had to deal with. After finally managing to shower and change into freshly-laundered clothes he didn't want to do anything that would've involved physical movement. He wasn't even bothered by the fact that they seemed a bit snug and shrugged it off to physical exhaustion. Inertia was his companion. (Is that right?) At least, it was for now. He had plans with both his daughter and his girlfriend, Sooraya, in a few hours. But until then… nothing.
"Hey."
Roy turned his gaze to his young daughter, Lian, who sat down on the couch next to him.
"Hey."
They were a family of few words. NOT.
"So… watcha doing?" Lian asked her father.
"Absolutely nothing." He replied.
"You have a hard day?" She asked sympathetically as she cuddled up closer to her dad. (And get your heads out of the gutters for those of you think 'cuddle' means anything else in this moment)
"Long, actually." Roy told her.
"Tired?" Lian asked again.
"Yep."
"Just wanna relax?"
"Uh-huh."
"That's cool." Lian agreed. So, can I feel it?" She questioned.
"Feel what?" Roy wondered with a raised eyebrow at where his daughter was going with this.
"The baby, of course!" Lian rolled her eyes at her dad's obliviousness. "I wanna see if I can hear it's heartbeat." She patted her father's small gut and then leaned her ear towards it.
"…" Roy was rather, um exasperated with the amount of jokes his daughter could make towards the small bit of weight he gained after being hospitalized.
"I think I felt it kick! Or did you just fart?" Lian asked.
"Lian…" Roy coldly stared at her with fatigue and annoyance in his gaze.
"You think it's gonna be a boy or a girl, daddy?" Lian asked, raising her head up to directly look at him.
"Man, why you gotta be like that, princess? Here I am trying to relax and here you are bumming me out. You're cold Lian." Roy moaned. Lian was taken a bit aback but her character being described as "cold".
"Well, daddy, I just worry about you. Me being snarky and harsh is my way of saying I care." Lian attempted to explain, and at the same time justify, her sense of humor.
"Saying I'm pregnant means you care about me?" Roy asked. "So I guess on my birthday I'll wake up to a gun to my head." He sarcastically quipped.
"Daddy-!" Lian playfully slugged her dad's arm. "It's not my fault, but you don't seem to be doing anything about your waistline."
Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Not doing anything? I worked out for four hours straight today, as I have four days every week for the last two months! I've been bench pressing 260, which is 30 pounds more than I used to. Here, feel this."
Roy rolled up the sleeve of his shirt and flexed his right arm to show off the powerful muscles he'd developed in it. They were a bit bigger than before.
"I'm more worried about feeling all this." Lian's gaze was still aimed at Roy's center, and grabbed at a bit of stomach. "Your mid-section's still squishy. If it keeps getting bigger you might be able to use it as a weapon."
"Well, they don't call me Arsenal for nothing."
Lian stuck her tongue out at her dad's bad joke.
"Corny!"
Roy stuck his tongue out back at her.
"Annoying!"
"I'm annoying? Daddy, I worry that you might wind up with heart disease! Or diabetes! Or cholesterol!" Lian threw up her hands in exasperation.
"Cholesterol's not a disease, Lian." Roy corrected.
"It's not?"
"No, it's like calories or plaque."
"Eeewww!!" Thinking about what it must look like made Lian grimace. Roy laughed a little.
"Why do you think I've been eating nothing but cheerios for breakfast for the last month?"
"You're cheap?"
"…" That earned Lian an empty stare.
"Well, I don't want you getting sick! And I also don't want you getting boobs before I do."
Now it was also Roy's turn to grimace. Although whether it was the idea of himself with boobs or his young daughter with them he did not clarify. Or want to.
"Oh I did NOT need that image in my head, Lian."
"Better in your head than on your chest, daddy. Or, you could participate in those wet t-shirt cont-"
"LALALALALALALALALA I am not listening LALALALALALALA I am not hearing this!" Roy covered his ears and sung out loud to drone his daughter's active, and at times disturbing, imagination.
"I'm sorry! Sorry!" Lian pleaded to get her father to stop.
"Lian you make me sound like one of those morbidly obese blobs whose only job is whining on talk shows. You're blowing this out of proportion. Have I had any trouble on patrol? Or fighting bad guys?"
"No…" Lian averted her gaze from him as she though about it.
"I worry plenty about my health, etai yazi. But a few extra pounds doesn't really bother me." It especially hadn't bothered Sooraya. No, what bothered her was when Roy jokingly hit on other women. "Especially when I can do this." Roy finished as he got off the couch and went "*HUNH*".
Roy struck a body builder pose to better show off his well-developed physique, despite his gut.
"Show-off." Lian scoffed.
"But thank you for caring. I'm lucky to have you watching out for me."
Lian accepted his thanks, but thought up a question.
"Okay, then let me ask you this: can you still see your feet?" She asked him.
"Wha? Of course I can!"
"Prove it." Lian smugly told him.
So, Roy basically looked down.
"Well?" Lian asked.
"I can see them just fine." Roy told her.
"Can you?" She quizzed.
"Well, I can see them well enough." They were just a bit obscured by his stomach. Just a bit, mind you.
"Touch your toes." Lian ordered. And he did. With ease.
"There, you see? Eas-"
RRIPPP!
Roy immediately stood back up straight and began blushing a shade of red deeper than his hair.
"Oh you're wearing the Green Arrow undies Uncle Dick got you for Christmas!" Lian told him.
"I am n-!"
Roy stopped short when he saw the ripped piece of paper in Lian's hands. She started to nervously laugh when her dad looked like he was going to sacrifice her on an altar.
"I was just trying to give some incentive to my wonderful daddy."
"You. Are. Not. Funny, Lian." Roy deadpanned.
POP.
When the button on his jeans.
The two of them simply stared at the button as it lie on the couch next to Lian.
"Okay, but THAT was." She finally spoke.
…
Meanwhile, Sooraya Qadir was nervously fretting about the laundry she had brought home.
"Oh dear. I have to call the Laundromat. Everything shrunk in the wash." She spoke, holding up a t-shirt that was three times smaller than previously. "I better tell Roy and Lian what happened."
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
By Levy. A pic to go with "The Movie", in her Earth-618 continuity. The woman is Sooraya Qadir.
Lian gets to have more popcorn because Roy's fat.
Posted by CandleLASHlight on :
Levy does great work. I love the little points of color that make the scenes pop. Lian certainly knows how to play her dad. She reminds me of my grandaughters. sigh
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
Yeah, Roy's a fattie and Lian's the Popcorn Nazi.
Posted by CandleLASHlight on :
Popcorn is actually a good food for loosing weight. If you control the butter part.
Popcorn Nazi - she wants it all so she says bad things to him or pats his tummy?
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
She just worries about his junk food intake, that's all.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Hunt of Lian Harper
Thank you for joining us once again to another edition of "The Great Hunter".
We are now on the hunt for the elusive gobbler. For fourteen days and fourteen nights this majestic piece of avian DNA has escaped from the great and mighty hunter's grasp again and again. But soon, that will all change.
It is cold in the terrain. Very cold. It is starting to snow. I can see my breath. My nose is runny and red.
Your nose is always red.
Shut up.
With Thanksgiving just a day away, If nothing is done soon, then there will no Thanksgiving dinner if no gobbler is caught.
The great hunter will not let that happen.
Gobble-gobble.
Wait, what was that?
Gobble-gobble-gobble!
There it is! The elusive gobbler is in the hunter's sights once more!
Gobble-gobble-gobble!
BLAM! BLAM!
The gobbler has eluded the hunter's bullets yet again.
BLAM BLAM BLAM!
And again!
It looks like there will be no Thanksgiving dinner this year. The hunter is despondent.
But just then, the hunter unleashes his secret weapon.
Wait, when did the hunter get a secret weapon?
With the snap of his fingers, the hunter summons… AN ARMY OF COMMANDOS TO BLOW THAT SUCKER TO KINDGOM COME!
What?!
They're using the armor piercing bullets!
But the gobbler doesn't have armor, hunter!
So they unleash the heat seeking missiles!
Heat-seeking missiles?!
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-
Daddy.
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-
Daddy!
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-
"DADDY!"
"BLAMBLA-Yes, sweetness?"
Lian was cowering in the corner of their living room after Roy had, well, kind of, lost it in their game of "hunter". He was red in the face after repeatedly screaming "Blam" and firing an empty toy gun at a stuffed animal Lian was using as a surrogate turkey.
"An entire army of commandos strapped down with heat seeking missiles and armor piercing bullets? For one turkey?"
"But, but, it was getting away." Roy stammered.
"You scare me sometimes, daddy."
Posted by Candlelight on :
Cute. BLAMBLAMBLAM!
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
The Presents of Lian Harper
She slowly removed the cover of the box, and caught a glimpse of black fabric, when-
"LIAN!"
Roy Harper, a well-muscled, fair skinned redhead yelled at his young, black-haired, Asian daughter.
"Daddy!" Lian yelped in surprise as she turned around to see her father standing in front of her as she was standing inside his closet, holding a red box in her hands. Roy was looking pissed as hell, his arms folded across his chest and scowling. Lian nervously laughed, clutching the box to her chest. "Uh, I was, uh-"
"You couldn't wait, could you? Christmas is only three days away, and you couldn't wait." Roy solemnly stated as Lian walked out of the closet. Lian gulped.
"I'm sorry, daddy-"
"Sorry would imply that you hadn't meant to do it." Roy cut off her attempt to apologize. "If that's the case what were you doing in my closet?"
"I, um, needed a, a...", Lian wracked her brain thinking of an excuse, but one couldn't spring to mind. "I couldn't wait, I'm sorry!" Lian apologized. Roy sighed.
"Whatever, you already ruined the surprise, might as well open it now." Roy told her.
"No, wait, Daddy-"
"No no, go on, open it." Roy waved off any further apology.
Realizing her father meant it, Lian placed the box on his bed and opened it. Inside, there appeared to be something made of red and black fabric, but it felt heavy as she picked it up.
"*Gasp* Is this-?" Lian couldn't believe what she was holding.
"Yep." Roy clarified.
Lian was holding a miniature version of the fourth costume he wore as Arsenal, during the time when he was a member of the Outsiders.
"An Arsenal costume. For my collection?" Lian inquired, as she had a large collection of superhero costumes for playing around.
"For training." Roy told her.
"You mean, this is real armor?" Lian couldn't believe it. It did feel heavier then one of her regular costumes.
"You haven't said what kind of costume you wanted yet, so I thought this could be a good preliminary." Roy smiled as he explained his intention. "Merry Christmas, baby."
"Oh daddy." Lian smiled as she hugged the costume, then hugged him. "Wait here."
Lian put the costume back in the box, ran out of the room, and moments later returned with a shopping bag in her grasp.
"Here daddy." She shoved the bag into his arms.
"Lian? What's this?" Roy asked.
"I figured since I opened one of my gifts early you can open one of yours from me." Lian smiled.
"You don't have to do that Princess." Roy told her, attempting to hand the bag back.
"Yes I do. It's only fair, especially since you wanted it to be a surprise. Take it, I didn't wrap it yet." Lian explained. "And merry Christmas."
Roy conceded and took the contents of the bag out. Whatever it was felt soft and was wrapped in dark green tissue paper.
"What is..." Roy asked before removing the tissue paper to reveal, "a Hawaiian shirt."
Roy held up a a Hawaiian shirt that had a depiction of a cloudless blue sky, below it some palm trees on a beach. He wasn't exactly sure how to feel, thinking of his daughter's oddball sense of humor. Lian's smile faltered a bit.
"...what? You don't like it? If you don't I can always-"
"No it's not that." Roy cut her off. "I like it, but, Lian, this isn't supposed to be another fat joke, is it?" The reasoning behind Roy's question was that, despite being in shape, Roy had a small belly after some time in the hospital, and Lian enjoyed making snarky jokes aimed at his weight. And Hawaiian shirts were usually associated with fat people for some odd reason.
Lian's jaw dropped and she looked incredibly insulted.
"Daddy! I am shocked and appalled that you would think that!" She shouted. Roy immediately felt bad.
"Crap, honey, I didn't mean-"
"Are you implying that I have lost so much creativity when it comes to my sense of humor I would resort to spending money? The very fact that you would assume that I have to stoop so low and so desperately as to rely on prop comedy, PROP COMEDY, like some redneck comedian or ADHD-riddled grade schooler just to make fun of your weight is like a dagger through my heart, good sir! My! HEAAAAAAAART! *Faints*"
After ending her rant Lian "fainted" on Roy's carpeted bedroom floor. He blankly stared at his daughter.
"...you're such a ham, Lian." Roy finally smirked.
"Takes one to know one. "But seriously? No. I just thought the colors looked good on you."
...
A few moments later, Roy and Lian were both getting into their new clothes.
"Lian, you said 'one of'. Lian you didn't go nuts shopping for me, did you?" Roy called to Lian as she was getting dressed.
"No daddy, I just bought you a few things. I do have other people to worry about." Lian reminded him.
"Well okay. You done?" Roy asked.
"Yep." Lian told him.
She walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom.
"Oh man, Lian, look at you." Roy said, quiet pride in his voice at his daughter and her armor.
There she was, dressed as a miniature Arsenal. And it wasn't pretend. She didn't look like a 12-year old. She looked grown-up. Like she was a woman now.
Soon she'll be a Teen Titan and leading her own team and then she would be picking her own name and joining the Justice League and having a child with an international assassin and raising it by herse-
"You look amazing, Lian." Roy gushed.
"Thanks daddy." Lian twirled around. "Hey, how come it didn't have a mask."
"I didn't know if you'd prefer a mask or sunglasses. Here. Get a better look at yourself." Roy opened the wardrobe that belonged to his girlfriend, Sooraya Qadir, so Lian could see herself in the full-sized mirror on the other side of the door.
"It feels so light." Lian commented while looking at her reflection. "Do you like your shirt?" She asked.
"Yeah, I do, thanks." Roy told her. The shirt did feel comfortable and the blue in the shirt went with his red hair.
"Strike a pose." Lian suggested.
Lian stepped aside and watched as her dad struck a couple of body-builder poses, flexing his arm muscles and grunting.
"Looking good, daddy." Lian commented.
"Thanks pumpkin." Roy turned his gaze to her for a moment, then back to his reflection. Then he noticed something was off.
"Uh, hey, Lian? Quick question." Roy said.
"Yeah?" Lian asked.
"Um, do you, uh, remember, by any chance, when this began to stick out?"
Lian noticed that Roy's stomach now began to stick out one or two inches. Or three. He felt the top of his chest, which had not turned soft or boob-like, thank God. But he squeezed his mid-section and was, mentally, shocked at soft it became, and that it shook a bit.
"Nice wonder gut, daddy." Lian joked.
"Oh crap. When did this happen?" Roy quietly asked himself. Lian began listing the possibilities.
"Uh, well, there WAS the leftover Halloween candy, and then there was Thanksgiving, and the day after Thanksgiving, and then all the current Christmas sweets and foods over the last few weeks, and-"
Every thing Lian listed felt like another nail in his coffin.
"Thanks, that's enough. I guess you're right, Lian. I am fat." Roy said dejectedly.
Lian mentally sighed as her dad finally admitted it, thanks to her shirt, then she saw something odd as well.
"Hey, um, when did you get these marks?" Lian commented as she took Roy's hands. She gazed upon what appeared to be small pinpricks over his fingers.
"Oh. Yeah. I kept pricking myself with the needles."
"Needles?" He couldn't possibly mean heroin needles. Who would honestly inject heroin into their fingers? The only other needles that made sense to what he was talking about was a sewing needle. "You, you made this by hand?"
"Well, yeah, where do you think I got mine? But, Sooraya did help me a lot." Roy told her.
Lian couldn't believe it. There was no hint at all that her costume was homemade. How long did it take to make it? How long did he have this planned? And she ruined the surprise. Not only that, but just as Roy had felt bad about "insulting" Lian, Lian now felt bad that he put so much effort into his gift to her, and her gift had just turned into another joke.
So she did something she thought she'd never do.
"...well, daddy, it's only normal. People have a habit to put on a couple of pounds during the holidays. Don't worry, it doesn't make you fat. You can get rid of it after Christmas is over. Relax."
Roy's jaw dropped and he stared at Lian with a shocked expression.
"Besides, there's nothing wrong with having a belly. It just means you eat well and you're healthy. And it is winter. The weight can keep you warm. But your arms, daddy. And those shoulders. Those muscles! You're built like a rock, daddy. You're a giant. You could snap someone's neck with your bare hands if you wanted." Lian smiled quiet perkily as she mentioned how her dad could kill someone because of how strong and healthy he was.
"...who the HELL are YOU and what did you do with my daughter?"
Lian smirked and struck a pose.
"I'm Arsenal II." Lian felt good about cheering her dad up. Of course, that was only lasting until New Year's.
"And I think I'm gonna cry." Roy said, actually teary-eyed and proud.
"Daddy, knock it off. Come on, I wanna try my armor out. Can we blow some stuff up?" Lian tugged at her dad's arm.
"Okay honey, let's go blow some dummies up." Roy told her.
"Yay! This is the best Christmas ever!"
"Uh, technically it's Christmas Eve Eve Eve."
"Then this is the best Christmas Eve Eve Eve!"
Posted by Candlelight on :
Love it. DC people are such idiots. What wasted potential. sigh
original photo posted by PancakePal![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I was not pleased with what DC decided to do to Lian. Just... uncool. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
But these almost make it better!
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[Yes]](graemlins/nod.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
