Lately I've been having a recurring dream. In it, I seem to be poverty striken, and passersby keep doing the loser gesture at me as I go around in search of a scepter.
The funny thing is, I wake up feeling enormously satisfied and a little bit tired.
Does this sound normal to you? Should I be concerned?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Hmmm....guess Dr. Lash is still researching the answer. Hope he's not consulting with that Nardo guy.
Posted by Princess Crujectra on :
Lashie Poo gets very busy, righting wrongs and breaking hearts. I'm patient Posted by MLLASH on :
Dear Princess,
You are perfectly normal and should not be concerned as long as you keep your sceptre where it belongs!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Dear Mllash,
I've been having a major identity crisis for months and months now...what should I do?
Sincerely, LARDLAD (or is it?)
Posted by MLLASH on :
Dear Lardlad,
Sometimes self-loathing can cause one to develop a split personality. My suggestion is to go into the bathroom, lock the door, strip naked and stare at yourself in the mirror while repeating this mantra: "I am beautiful, no matter what they say, words can't bring me down". It's done wonders for me!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Dear Mllash,
I feel like people are always expecting me to be someone other than who I am. All I want is to be my own person, not someone else. How can I get people to recognize me as a distinct individual?
Sincerely,
EDE
Posted by MLLASH on :
Dear EDE,
It can be difficult to establish your voice in this cold, cruel world filled with reality TV and game cubes and such.
My advice is just to continue to be yourself, let YOU shine THROUGH and your light will lead the way for others to follow!
And remember the words of Beyonce Knowles: "You thought I couldn't breathe without, I'm inhalin'-- You thought I couldn't see without you, Perfect vision-- You thought I couldnt last without you bit I'm lastin'-- You thought that I would die without you but I'm livin'".
You, EDE, are a survivor. You're gonna make it. You're not gonna stop, you're gonna work harder.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Melodic MLLASH,
Please, please tell me now.
Is there something I should know? Is there something I should say to make you come my way?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Dear TD,
Save a prayer 'til the morning after, save it 'til the morning after.
Posted by Kid Prime on :
Dear MLLASH,
How can I get over my revulsion and fear of the color yellow?
Kid Prime
Posted by MLLASH on :
Dear Kid,
I came along And wrote a song for you And all the things you do And it was called 'Yellow'
Posted by SorceressMorgause on :
Dear Mllash,
How can I overthrow my sister?
Morgause
Posted by MLLASH on :
Selected by Quislet, Esq to be Featured for a Day!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sorry, Quizzy...
My uncanny powers only extend as far as the Mission Monitor Board forum!
I keep trying to get Scott & Gary to give me supreme power over all boards, but they've been slow to respond! Posted by SorceressMorgause on :
Answer my question "oh great" Mllash!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Morgause,
KILL her, silly!
Posted by SorceressMorgause on :
I see, I'll go up to Viviane and stab her and say, "Mllash was right when he told me to kill you."
Posted by MLLASH on :
Viv? No, don't kill her...
Jillikers!! Can't you just ask a question about hair care or something? These "life and death" questions make my armpits itch!
Posted by SorceressMorgause on :
I don't need hair care, can't you see my avatar.
Besides, she killed me.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
MLLASH,
How do I treat itchy armpits?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Quislet, Esq:
SCRATCH 'em, silly!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MLLASH,
So there's this certain person, and she keeps asking me to entertain her. But I'm not sure I can keep up with her demands, and I'm not sure why I keep trying. How can I tell if she really likes me for me, or for my feeble attempts to amuse her on the message board?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Eryk,
If you want to know if she loves you so it's in her kiss. That's where it is.
If she gives you lots of sloppy wet tongue, don't worry-- baby, she's a-WANT you!!
If she'll only allow a peck on the cheek, dump her.
If she won't even allow a peck on the chick, take her out on a date in another city then drive off and leave her there!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Okay, but I'm dropping her in Memphis, and it's your shins she'll be after!
Posted by Future on :
MLLASH, I just bought my worth in groceries and yet I'm suddenly craving pizza. Should I make do with the food I just purchased or splurge for the pepperoni goods?
Posted by RTVU2 on :
Dear MLLASH,
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. What should I do about it?
[ October 02, 2004, 09:41 PM: Message edited by: RTVU2 ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Future,
There is never an incorrect time for the crust so good it melts in your mouth, the tangy pepperoni, the melted cheese clinging to your tongue like a lover... I say get pizza!
RTVU2,
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I find that a nice, frisky round of sex helps clear my mind. You should try it!
Posted by Princess Perfectra on :
Dear MLLASH,
What is the origin of the name MLLASH? How did you choose it and what does it mean to you?
-- Curious Georgian Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Ooh! I love the story about how he's the world's biggest M.A.S.H. fan, and added in the LL because he's also the world's biggest Lois Lane fan!
Posted by Princess Perfectra on :
He's worthy of the monicker, "Hot Lips," certainly, but I'd like to know the true reason, Lashy. Pretty please? Posted by MLLASH on :
Georgian,
It is actually a composite of my true initials and last name. I wasn't very creative, lo, those 5 years ago (has it REALLY been 5 YEARS?!?! I think it is 5 years this MONTH, actually) when I signed up at the DC board.
I just wanted to get signed on and start running willy-nilly through that virtual playground. And I did!
So I've been MLLASH ever since... except at the CURRENT DC board, where the MLLASH i.d. was eaten up in some stupid turn of events. I'm LashLad there, with an "aka MLLASH" as my signature.
Stupid current DC board!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
That's true! His real name is Melvin Lester Lash!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
MLLASH,
I can't seem to stop myself from having amazing sex with every pretty little cutie that comes my way! The problem is, they get real mad when I see another one and do it! What should I do?
-C from CT
Posted by MLLASH on :
Eryk, don't make me fetch my wallopin'-skillet!
Posted by Princess Perfectra on :
Cobie needs your help, Lash! That or a good neutering!!! Posted by MLLASH on :
C from CT,
The trick is to be up-front with them from the get-go. Be sure to let them know that they are nothing more than a momentary diversion for you prior to inserting anything into their various orifi.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Or, ummm... get yourself neutered!
Posted by Princess Perfectra on :
You keep out of my orifi, Cobaltus!!! Posted by Kent on :
MLLASH,
I can't spend as many hours on LW as I'd like. Should I quit my job?
Posted by RTVU2 on :
quote:Originally posted by MLLASH: RTVU2,
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I find that a nice, frisky round of sex helps clear my mind. You should try it!
You offering? Ask MLLASH indeed!
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
MLLASH, I'd like to answer Kent's question.
YES!!! Happy birthday, Kent! Make a wish while I blow your candle. *tee hee*
Posted by Harbinger on :
Hi Lashie, hope you can answer my query relating to issue 3. I wonder, what did the Rokynite say to the Naltorian?
Posted by Caliente on :
Dear MLLASH,
Lately I've been finding that my "name" is sadly lacking. But the Caliente Kid just doesn't seem to do it for me. Do you have any suggestions?
Yours, a not cool enough named girl from California
Posted by MLLASH on :
'Bingi,
It was that old poem about there once being a man from Gnantukkit-3.
Caliente,
I don't know you very well but you seem like a swell comics-loving gal.
Picking a new name is easy!
Just match one (or more!) of these descriptive terms:
SASSY LITERATE EXCELLENT SPACE-RAWK MOTHERHUGGER DANGEROUS SUPERIOR WANTON (or WON-TON) PORCUPINE HEP URANUS MOFO INFECTIOUS
(or insert your own here)
with one of the following:
DAMSEL PRINCESS QUEEN GIRL LASS WOMAN KID
hmmm... Kid Mofo...
Posted by Blockade Boy on :
Sassy Caliente has a bit of a ring???
Dear MLLASH
I toss and turn this recurring nightmare that a too short redheaded comic book writer in black pumps is beating me with a snakeskin whip. Everyone knows I prefer leather.
What can I do? I NEED my beauty sleep.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Blockade Boy,
2 words: BEER BUST.
Afterwards, you'll sleep through the night.
And also through work the next day!
Posted by Princess Crujectra on :
Dear Mllash:
Is a beer bust anything like a beer belly? Whenever I enter a bar, all of the men look at me as though I were carrying kegs...
Posted by MLLASH on :
Beer busts usually run about $5 for the night.
The "keggers" you're thinking of cost a few thousand dollars but usually last a lifetime!
Posted by Kid Prime on :
Lashkins:
So tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Love,
The ever-lovin', brown-eyed Kippers
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
If a train leaves Chicago at 10 Am EST traveling in a southerly direction at a speed of 65 MPH with a northeasterly wind of 10 knots per hour and temperatures in the low 80's with a 37% chance of percipitation in the evening when a concert was scheduled to be performed in the park with a surprize reunion by the Monkees, a made-for-TV band but who could play their own instruments, did have musical talent, and had a hit with "Last Train to Clarksville" which was inspired by a riff from the Beatles' "Paperback Writer" which was not featured on the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Album which reminds me of Dr. Pepper the soft drink which is strange because I don't drink Dr. Pepper but prefer Coca Cola although both are made by the Coca Cola company which is headquartered in Atlanta GA, the site of the 1996 summer Olympics, the modern revival of the ancient Greek athletic games where the athletes competed in the nude which is another way of saying naked although I like to say "au naturale" and at this point you may be wondering if Quislet has a question or is he just rambling on going from one topic to the next which reminds me of a Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is in the getaway car and talking and the short gangster AKA Rocky says "shut up" and Bugs goes "Sure I'll shut up, you don't have to tell me twice, when I am told to shut up, I shut up, not like other people who just go on and on and don't know when to shut up when they've been told to shut up..." and Rocky interrupts saying "Shut up shutting up!" Boy those Bugs Bunny cartoons were the best but getting back to the question because that is what this is all about, asking MLLASH questions so we can get a humorous response, now where was I? Don't tell me oh and that wasn't the question so don't try to cut me short, but maybe a recap of the question is in order, so we have a train traveling south from Chicago, possibly to Atlanta GA because that is south of Chigao, on the night of a Monkees Reunion concert which might get rained out, so given all that and then some, what do you think of me?
[ June 14, 2005, 07:18 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Dear Lash,
I usually use the 60:40 ratio between ass-grabbing and hair-pulling during marathon sex. Do you agree with this ratio, or should I mix it up a bit?
Sincerely, Rolling like Thunder under the Covers
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Lash, I'm addicted to itunes all of a sudden and on a downloading frenzy. I suddenly recalled that Lucinda Williams/Flogging Molly duet I told you about years ago and then thought I should try out some Lucinda Williams songs. Quick--give me your top five faves and I'll take a gander! Knowing me like you do, what do you think I may like?
- Cobie from CT
Posted by MLLASH on :
DRUNKEN ANGEL is a must
CAN'T LET GO is fun
OUT OF TOUCH, Lucinda sounds almost Sheryl Crow-ish
RIGHT IN TIME also featured on the L WORD soundtrack; sexy Lu
But you've gotta have a sad one too... REASON TO CRY or OVERTIME or LAKE CHARLES always bring a tear to my eye.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Dear MLLASH,
What did you think of my question dated June 14, 2005? And will you ever answer it?
Posted by Jerry on :
WTF? Lash, you told Cobie that Drunken Angel is a must, but then he had to have a sad one too? Songs don't come much sadder than Drunken Angel. Pineola is one that always gets me.
Joy is my favorite Lucinda song. Pure guitar power. When Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, came out Lucinda did an interview for NPR. The interviewer made a comment about how simple the music was. Lucinda laughed and said something like, "You have no idea what a complicated process you have to go through to get a simple song." That's the spirit I always take with me when listening to Lucinda. I hope you like what you download enough to get more, Cobie. Lucinda is best listened to a whole album at a time as opposed a song at a time. You have to invest the time and go to all of the strange and interesting places that the music will take you, if you want the full effect. She hasn't put out a weak album yet. Once she gets started she doesn't want to stop. I saw her do a seven song encore once. The band was dying. They wanted to get off that stage so bad, and she just kept on saying, "Just one more? What do you guys think?"
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Dear Lash,
Now that summer is coming, the humidity is starting to make my crest-feathers a little frizzy. What should I do?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Jerry-- I remembered seeing in the concert thread that you had seen Lu in concert 3 times, as I myself have. Belated greetings to a fellow Lu-lover!
And yes, DRUNKEN ANGEL indeed tells a sad story, but that upbeat melody insures that I sing slong happily every time (kinda like Stewart's MAGGIE MAY, which the intro reminds me of a great deal).
PINEOLA is a favorite of my Mom's.
But a tear in my eye is always assured during OVERTIME, REASON TO CRY, LAKE CHARLES, BUS TO BATON ROUGE, SWEET OLD WORLD, LONELY GIRLS, BROKEN BUTTERFLIES... (I could go on and on)
I think one of my favorite pre-CAR WHEELS Lu tunes has got to be SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE TALK. That song is SO sweet.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Quis,
You had me at hello... but you lost me at "If a train leaves Chicago...".
Rockhopper,
Hairspray-- My Momma told me not to use it... but that shouldn't stop you!
Posted by Jerry on :
Yeah, When We Talk is great. Lucinda has so many great songs. She has the coolest fans too.
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