A word from the editor… Face front true believers!
After completing our recent tag team "Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis", I know I’m not alone in saying that I’m more enthusiastic than ever in regards to LMB lore and really flexing out creative muscles with this fun shared universe we’ve created. I think it would be really cool to continue to use new formats to add new stories and subplots to LMB lore and so (as I’ve mentioned to some of you privately) I’ve come up with the idea of an 80 page giant*, where basically we could all post one-shot short stories and art focusing on one or a few LMBers. Similar to the gallery threads so brilliantly done by Monkey-Eater Lad and other Legion Worlders, this would be slightly different than anything done LMB-wise before.
We’ve had some really fun roleplay-events in the last few months (Invasion and the current one on the MMB) and now have had a highly enjoyable and quite excellent tag team thread in Omnia. Here would be something new in that there is no continuity to keep track, so the authors only need be aware of what they would like to post, rather than how it relates to what everyone else has going on. We continually have had a great many onevisions as well, and this would be different from that too. Onevisions generally are multiple-post stories by one author, but here they would only be one post—definitely short stories that someone could enjoy. The goal is to have an incredibly large range of contributors, who could focus on any LMBer, LMB supporting character, alt ID or villain that they would like. Each short story would be one post, although that’s more a guideline than a rule, if you feel that you’ve simply got too much to fit into one post. Pin-up and sequential art would be most welcome!
So this is your chance to follow-up on a subplot that you meant to get back to, or to post a short story that you’ve had floating around but didn’t think had as much girth as you would have liked. Jump right in and have fun with…make it as short or long as you like, as serious or as light-hearted as you’re feeling at the time you wrote it.
The LMB-verse is changing at a faster rate than ever before, and now is the time to showcase whatever character you’d like, whether yourself, someone obscure or someone completely new!
"Tell me Matlock," said the angry voice of Dru the Sorceress, "do you plan on solving this little mystery or not?" Pure anger came pulsating out of her eyes as she spoke. "Because if I don't know for certain that LardLad didn't father the baby of that...oh, how hard it is to hold back what I want to say, I swear there will be repercussions!"
Matlock looked up from his desk and put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I don't like what you're saying Sorceress, and it really is none of my business what Gladys does in her spare time..." he began, referring to the recently impregnated Gladys, the sentient disco ball that worked at the Security Office and was known to 'get around'. The father of her child remained in question after one drunken night at the Security Office.
"I suggest you make it your business then, detective," replied Dru, "or I'll make it Legion Worlds!" she yelled, slamming the door behind her as she strode out. Whether she meant it or not, Matlock recognized a threat. He had to; after all, he was...
Matlock, Super Detective of the LMBP!
starring in...The Case of the Father of the Sentient Disco Baby or 'another reason for my wife to get mad at me'
co-starring, the lovely Jailbait Lass!
Matlock sighed deeply. Suddenly, the door opened again, and Matlock looked up to see Jailbait Lass, the assistant to Cobalt Kid (Chairman of the Security Council) before him. Jailbait Lass still helped out at the Security Office, which Matlock was co-Chief of. "It gets worse!" she said, before he could begin to tell her about what Dru the Sorceress just said. Evidently she heard, or knew, or spied, or well, who knew? "The Arch Duke of Time just left a message for the LMB. He said that if Cobalt Kid fathered another child, he would personally go back to the beginning of time and try to end the universe as we know it--evidently, he's still mad at Cobie being his father, so he doesn't want anymore siblings!"
"Great," said Matlock out loud. "This little in-joke isn't giving me any laughs..." he continued, then adding, "...okay, get Polar Boy, Arachne and LardLad to go to the beginning of time and cut off the Arch Duke. Also, have some ensign red shirts follow around Dru the Sorceress, but please, tell them to be subtle. We don't want her getting mad."
"Sure thing Matt," said Jailbait Lass, "here are two now..."
Two low-level Security Officers walked in, a male and a female, both enthusiastic. "Hello, Matlock Sir!" said one.
"Hello Cliff," said Matlock, "you're looking slim," he said, knowing Cliff tried to impress his female fellow officer, Nicole. In truth, Cliff did look pretty slim. "Hitting the gym, like I told you?"
"I sure have," said Cliff, "and hitting it hard. I've been eating right and taking my vitamins too, like you said."
"Atta boy," said Matlock, "now get on out there and make Legion World secure," he said, shaking the young rookie’s hand.
"Well, now what Matt?" said Jailbait Lass. "How are you going to solve this one?"
Matlock sat back in his chair and drank a large cup of coffee. He took off his blue fedora hat and loosened his tie, thinking. "Well, what do we know?" he said at last.
Jailbait Lass, her analytical mind waiting for this, went into it at once: "Okay, fact one. A large party broke out at the Security Office a few weeks ago, where various Security Officers engaged in drinking, gambling, excessive property destruction and other debauchery. During the course of the evening, a few hook-ups occurred. Fact Two, Gladys the sentient disco ball (over in accounting) was at the party, and the following day she woke up pregnant. Fact Three, the participants in the partying were Outdoor Miner, Caliente, Polar Boy, LardLad, Dedman and Gladys. The following day, all were so drunk that none remembered anything, though Miner insists he never had anything to drink."
As she finished, Matlock was quiet. He turned to her. "What else? Anything more?"
"Well," said Jailbait Lass, obviously dying for Legion World's greatest Detective to finally crack the biggest social scandal in recent weeks, "I've read through the medical report on Gladys, and because we can measure the growth of refracted light within a crystalloid sphere, we've been able to pinpoint a rough point of when the pregnancy would have occurred. Rather, when the conception occurred. It is 3:40 AM."
"Crazy science," said Matlock, remembering the days when sentients disco balls had more conservative morals in the workplace. "Let’s look at the evidence," he said.
Jailbait Lass showed him a variety of pictures of the trashed left wing of the Security Office, where Cobalt Kid's office was. Matlock's favorite coffee pot was in glass pieces on the floor, and all the plant life had seen better days.
"At least they didn't destroy the pretzel maker!" said Jailbait Lass joking around, as the pretzel-maker, famous in Security Office lore, was still intact.
"Hm...at least..." said Matlock taking all the pictures in. "I guess we should check out the crime scene..."
Sometime later, at the crime scene...
"Sir, we just got news," said My Whee Fem (the main lobby secretary at the Security Office), "The Arch Duke has attacked the beginning of time, and the LMB has engaged him. Abin Quank is joining them sir, so you'll be the ranking security officer on Legion World. Also, you should know that Taltarian Embassy is looking into the Gladys case, in hopes to prove the mistreatment of females on Legion World, especially among the LMB."
"Glad to know our luck is running true to form," said Matlock, suddenly getting a minor headache. He and Jailbait Lass were looking at all the evidence. "What's that coffee maker say, Lolita?" he asked her.
"2:20," she said, "It must have been the time when it broke. And over here, in the coffee grinds, there's a message...it spells out...uh, you can see it..." On the floor in coffee grinds it said 'Poopie in my pants'.
"Clever," said Matlock, "obviously it’s an anagram," he said.
Jailbait Lass immediately began trying to crack it.
"I'm kidding, Lolita," he added. She stopped, and then smiled. "Over there?" he said, pointing towards the adjacent room.
"Nothing," she said, looking, "just some stains on the curtains. Looks like jager-meister, or an espresso martini. Something thick." She looked at him. She didn't have the slightest clue what to think. Apparently the case would never get cracked. "What do you think Matt?" she said.
"I think..." he said, then pausing, "...I think I need a nice ham and cheese sandwich. Let's hope those Taltarians and Dru weren't serious, and the Arch Duke of Time is a bit more of a push-over this time," he laughed, and she wasn't sure if he was kidding.
Later, in Matlock's office...
Jailbait Lass barged into the office, followed by My Whee Fem, and Gisselle Bonita, Matlock's personal assistant. All three looked to be in a panic! "Matt," said Jailbait Lass, "that crazy cult that worships Dedman is claiming that he's being framed to be the father--they're threatening to kick-off the end of all things! This is getting out of control."
"What do we do?" asked Gisselle, in her Brazilian accent.
"Well," replied Matlock, "I've finished my sandwich, so I guess I'll move on to another coffee," he said breezily. "But while you figure out how to stop all these riots and things, can you have Cliff and Nicole escort Gladys to my office," he added.
"Why?" asked My Whee Fem, "are you going to ask her to speak to the crowds?"
"No," he smiled, "I just want her to know I solved the case!"
Later...
All four females stood before him, and waited. He seemed to be retying his tie, and kept getting it wrong. Finally, it worked. He turned to them...all looked annoyed with faces that said "WELL?!!". "Okay," said Matlock. "Cross Cali off the list. I checked all the gender reversal germs and they're all there. She's not the father."
Silence. Jailbait Lass began to speak as if to say "That's it--?", when Matlock broke back in right before, "and you can cross off Dedman. He confirmed to me that he drank so much alcohol that night that he died of alcohol poisoning around 1:47 AM...but he told me that in his defense, he'd been drinking since 3006. As for Polar Boy and Outdoor Miner, I think I can explain. The new curtains that Polar Boy put up in the Security Office had a stain on them, obviously from coffee--not from any jager or espresso martini. A forensics test shows they were still relatively wet the next day, not occurring until after 4 or 5 AM, which means well after the coffee pot was destroyed. I believe Polar Boy must have been showing them to Outdoor Miner--who really doesn't drink anymore--when they were drinking fresh cups of coffee, and they spilled some on the curtains. Perhaps Polar Boy was slightly drunk when this was occurring and Miner was offering to sober him up. Indeed, in order to get the coffees, Miner must have ported the two of them to Cafe Cramer to get coffee and then ported them back, since the coffee-maker was broken."
"Then, we can check the tapes at Cafe Cramer, to see--" said Jailbait Lass
"Already did, and they're both there. Around 3:00 AM to 4:00 AM."
"So it was Lard Lad," said My Whee Fem, adding, "we are so dead...all of us!"
"Not so fast," smiled Matlock. "Cliff, please tell them why it wasn't Lard Lad."
They all turned to Cliff the Security Officer in shock, wondering what was going on. Jailbait Lass half got ready to give him a beating, expecting him to be the villain of this piece. "Er..." Cliff started, "...you see...I..."
"Out with it!" yelled the girls.
"I...walked LardLad home that night. Well before 3:00 AM. It wasn't him."
"Why the hell didn't you say something?!" said Nicole, his fellow officer.
"Because Nicole," said Matlock, "he was trying to impress you. The other day when I noticed he looked slim, I also noticed he had no calluses on his hands, which he most assuredly would have if he'd been going to the gym enough to get in that good of shape. So, he must have asked Lardy to such all the lard off of him, probably when Lardy was drunk, which he probably did. You see, Lardy didn't have a hangover the next day, and the only way he's able to do that is by absorbing more Lard. But, a full pretzel-maker was right there, and he never even bothered to touch it! Why? Because he sucked Cliff's lard out for him, and thus, didn't need the pretzels."
"B-but," said Cliff, "how could you know that? That's a lot of assuming..."
"Well Cliff, you already admitted to it, so I guess I just deduced it with guesswork and you confirmed it," he said, adding a wink to the girls.
"Gosh, Matlock, you really are a great detective!"
"So, who’s the father then?" said My Whee Fem. "Cobie?"
"No, Cobie hasn't been with another female since Crujectra," said Jailbait Lass defiantly. They all looked at Gladys. "Who else is there?" asked Jailbait Lass.
"No one," said Matlock. "Gladys is a sentient disco ball, and we should all do well to remember that. Next time we should study up on our sentient disco ball physiology. There doesn't need to be a father involved when refracted light within a crystalloid prism wishes to replicate, it just does it on its own. Gladys made the baby all by herself. There is no father."
Gladys suddenly seemed quite sad.
"Its okay Gladys," said Matlock quietly, "I know the Security Office has always given a larger medical payment to unwed mothers and you probably wanted to capitalize on that. And who doesn't mind a little attention sometimes? It must have been nice to be the star of the show..."
Gladys sniffed, and spoke via disco-harmonic vibrations: "the only thing worse than people talking bad about you is no one talking about you at all."
Matlock patted her on the back. "Well, no worries. You can still get the full medical compensation we provide for any mother. We'll support you. And no one will hold any grudge. Everyone makes mistakes."
Sometime later...
Jailbait Lass ate her own ham and cheese sandwich, as Matlock walked by, suiting up to go on patrol. "Matt," she asked. "So what does your report say? What are we going to do about all these problems?"
"Ah, no worries," he smiled, "The Arch Duke was defeated, Dru knows the truth, the Taltarians have moved on to another crusade, most likely involving Tamper Lad, or Hrun, or something, and the cult that worships Dedman had a surprise visit from him last night."
"But what about your report? Will everyone know the truth?"
"Well, my report says Gladys was impregnated by the time-traveling younger version of Cobalt Kid, who came here to meet his older self. Better that than have Gladys suffer anymore over this. After all, she'll be a mother now."
"So the truth, then? It stays here in the Security Office? People are so concerned about this type of gossip, you know."
"I do know," he smiled, "but as to why--well, that's a mystery to me."
The End
[ July 21, 2008, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Magistrate Angra Metternich: <Metternich is clearly rattled, then sees Seth. Metternich sees Seth's hand ready to strike and pushes him back with super-breath.>
<Metternich's antennae twitch.>
"Yes! That one has the means to destroy Legion World! I will adapt his power and destroy it--my Kryptonian invulnerablity will protect me from its explosion!"
<Begins to absorb power.>
"YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!"
<One of Metternich's tentacle forms a hand, and it starts glowing.>
"And now, I'll...what?"
<His antennae start twitching madly.>
"NO! It's too much! That...that creature is not just one sentient--there are countless sentients comprising him! G-gods, it's-it's too much! MAKE IT STOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!! IT HURTS!!!"
<Reeling in pain, Metternich takes the glowing hand and moves it toward where his brain is located.>
<As soon as it connects, Metternich is completely disintegrated.>
How often, one wonders, is it that people believe that they have seen the last of someone or something, only to be shocked upon that being’s return?
quote:Originally posted by Magistrate Angra Metternich: <Unseen by any, Metternich cuts off the head of Pinnacle Command, making the Magistrate the sole commanding Dark Oval officer on Legion World.>
Send in the Dominator forces first and use up our biological weapons. The damage alone will be worthy of the Dark Oval.
<uses Durlan abilities to slip around unnoticed>
Surely the Legion must have realized that as a Durlan, I'm quite the different diplomat for the Dark Oval! The Dark Oval has Dominators, Hrykosian thugs, cultists...but no Durlans. No, no...I'm a special diplomat, void of any humanity but full of incredible powers.
I am Durlan in all ways, but better. I am the Dominators favored creation, for I too have the powers of Superboy Prime. And Reboot. And Cobalt Kid. And Varalent, Spellbinder, LardLad, Disaster Boy and all the rest! For I can not only mimic any power, I can recreate it. I am a Composite Durlan, and I have been on Legion World absorbing every power for weeks...
Yet, that is probably not true for the Legion; given that normalcy is something they often do not see. This skeptism, while a good survival tool, would be much better used if they could take the time and analyze all facts.
quote:LMB Files: DEDMAN: dedman: Dedman was started of with "the voice of the dead" which is very similiar to Jesse's power in Preacher
Dedman's main power is self-resurrection. No matter how horridly his body is mangled and destroyed, dedman's body will reform and he will live again. This power seems to be somehow tied in with the poltergeist area. This has led the LMB to adopt an odd strategy when facing villians...ie - send in Dedman and while he is busy being destroyed, the LMBP pounce upon the distraced villian.
The Poltergeist Area - noone knows where or what this place really is, but dedman knows all this strange dimension's secrets....or so he says. While in this place dedman exhibits godlike abilities that he does not have in reality. He has also demonstrated the ability to teleport? into and out of this zone at will; as well as bring others with him. Apparently you can also "look out" of the area into reality using a device Dedman calls a "ghost viewer"
Yes…I live, of course. And I will have revenge upon Legion World and the Legion. The Dark Oval will prevail over the United Planets, and I will be granted a great prize…and I will one day resume my command as Chancellor of Legion World.
Flashback…
Angra Metternich crawled out of the Giffen River on the lower east side of Legionnopolis and made his way towards the wooded area. The memories began to flood back to him, and recalled every living moment he had spent on Legion World thus far, and the utter disgust his hundreds of senses felt from this planet. A man approaches? Metternich turns his arm into a scythe and hacks him down, pulling his body across the dirt into the woods. Yes, yes, this will do. He copies the man’s appearance, and matches his clothing, burying the man deep in the woods.
What now, to stay on Legion World or to leave? If he were to leave, it would be now, when the confusion was still ripe in the city and around the ports. But if he were to stay…
There wasn't anything particularly remarkable about the girl. Standing huddled under a ledge as an ice storm raced around her, she looked like nothing more than an average thirteen year old. Known simply as B she had no idea that one day she would be called Caliente and a valued member of the famed Legion of Message Board Posters. At the moment, she was far more occupied with not freezing to death on the stoop than her own not so distant future.
Another girl, not much older than B, suddenly raced around the corner, breaking the monotony of the storm. B could just make out her form through the sheets of ice crashing down around her. For an instant, she thought her eyes might be deceiving her because it looked like the girl was wearing only a pair of shorts, thin top and tattered cap. "Hey!" B called, reaching out to grab the girl by her jersey. "Are you crazy? You're going to freeze! Here, take my jacket…"
The girl laughed at B, raising matching platinum eyebrows at her as she begins unbuttoning her outer-most layer. "Are you serious?" she asked in a cool tone. "Do I really look cold to you?" Blinking, B looking the girl over from head to toe. Even with her Coast City Beach style outfit on she didn't look the least bit chilly. Slowly, she shook her head and the girl nodded smartly. "Thanks for the offer but I gotta run…"
Just then, to men in body armor swung around the corner the girl had appeared from just moments before. B heard her swear and quickly thrust her jacket at her again. "Here," she said hurriedly. "Just put it on and pull the hood up. They won't recognize you through the sleet." B shoved the other girl behind her and resumed what she'd been doing before the girl had run by—attempting not to freeze—while trying to look innocent.
The two men stopped in front of B, looming over her menacingly. "Girl run past here?" one of them growled, shoving his helmet into her face. B wasn't sure how it was possible, but she swore she could smell his breath through the visor (and it wasn't good).
"Well?" the other man snarled, clearly overcompensating for his lack of height. (Or something else entirely but B wasn't aware of such things yet. She was only barely a teenager, after all.) "Did anyone run by—yes or no? It's not a hard question."
The first man looked to the second. "Stupid kids," he grumbled, his friend nodding his agreement.
B had heard enough. She might be young, but she wasn't stupid. Judging between the characters before her and the one behind her, it was no contest at all. "I think so," she replied finally in her most sincere 'little kid' tone. "It's really hard to see with all the ice and stuff. But I mighta seen someone go that way." She pointed the way the other girl had been heading, pulling on an innocent face to complete the picture.
"What about you?" the short man barked at the still nameless girl on the run. "You see anything, girl?"
Stepping in front of the little man, B shook her head. "She didn't see anything," she answered.
The first man bent down again. "And just how would you know?" he questioned, voice mocking her where she stood.
B pulled herself to her full height. It wasn't all that tall, though she was closer to the short man than he was to the tall one. "My sister was inside with our parents."
An ugly noise that might be identified as a laugh escaped the short man's lips. "And why can't she answer for herself?" His tone was slightly lewd and all together nauseating. B was ready to be done with these tools.
"She's shy. Especially around strangers." B placed a comforting arm around the girl's waist. "Can't you just leave her alone? She didn't see anything!" Her tone was becoming strategically whiny despite the nerves twisting in her stomach. Couldn't these men just leave already?
The short man looked ready to raise another argument but his tall companion smacked his arm. "Come on, let's get the sprock out of here," he said, gaze turning back down the street. "We don't want to let the girl get too far ahead. Damn weather makes it near impossible to track her."
As the men finally moved off, B let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't the only one. The girl, sweating under the jacket's warmth, looked positively pale. "You all right?" B asked as she threw the hood back. The girl nodded, panting slightly. "I'm B, by the way. Didn't have time to introduce myself before." She offered a friendly hand.
The girl eyed her hand for a moment before shaking it. "What kind of name is Bee?"
B deadpanned. "A nickname." Then she narrowed her eyes at the other girl. "And you are..?"
"Someone you probably shouldn't have helped," she replied in a low tone. "But since you did… well, they call me Frio." Wasn't a name, exactly, but it was all she had to offer. "Listen, I really appreciate what you did and all, but I should probably be going now." Frio shed B's jacket, offering it back to the shivering girl. She started to walk away, then paused and turned back. "Before I do, though, can I ask you a question?" B nodded, slipping her jacket on again and zipping it up tightly. "Why did you help me?"
There was a pregnant pause before B shrugged. "Seemed like the thing to do."
Frio frowned at her. "But you don't know me. Don't owe me anything. It doesn't make sense—why would you just help someone? What have I ever done for you?"
Furrowing her eyebrows, B shrugged again. "I don't know what you want me to say. It looked like you were in trouble and those guys seemed like creeps. It wasn't much of a decision." It was really all she had to give by way of explanation. She was only thirteen, after all. It wasn't like she was over-thinking her decisions. Usually she was guilty of just the opposite.
"Who are you?" Frio questioned suspiciously, dark eyes piercing against her pale complexion.
B shot a funny look at her. "I'm B. I live here on Earth. We're visiting the arctic circle for holiday. I know, right? Some holiday. But where we live it's always sunny. My parents wanted something different this year." She gave her a knowing sort of 'parents are crazy, what's a girl to do?' look to drive her point home.
Blinking, Frio stared at her. "That's it? That's all there is to it? Do you… do you have any idea what you've done for me?"
"Nope," B replied merrily. "But you can come with me into that shop over there," she pointed across the way, "let me buy you something and tell me all about it."
Not giving Frio a chance to object, B linked arms with her and began to lead her out from under the ledge. She braced herself for the onslaught of freezing weather but it never came. Surprised, she looked back to Frio who shrugged once. "Ice shield." B quirked an eyebrow. "I'm from a valley on Tharr where everyone has ice powers."
B furrowed her eyebrows. "Hey, you know, I think I read about that somewhere." She peered at Frio a bit closer. "Is that why you were sweating in the jacket?"
"Kinda." It appeared B wanted a real answer so, with a sigh, Frio began a more detailed explanation as she followed the strange girl into the shop. "You see…" She launched into an explanation about puberty and body changing with B listening attentively. There was nothing extraordinary about the scene as it took place but something was happening all the same—a friendship was being born. Sisters from different worlds had found each other; they just didn't know it yet.
The Beginning
-------------------- Abin: You know what to do with a Cali sandwich? No but neither do Cobie and CJ! CJ: Yeah, we do. She's smiling, isn't she?
Context... who needs it?
From: Sunny Cali-- er, Planet Earth? | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Inside her apartment, Stealth put on her jacket and checked her watch. She BETTER NOT be late, Stealth though to herself. As if in reply, there was a knock at the door. Stealth opened it and was relieved to see her immortal friend, Amora the Enchantress; she was even more relieved that she didn't smell any alcohol on Amora -- she certainly didn't want a drunken babysitter watching her son.
"Hi." said Stealth, "Thanks again for doing me this favor."
"Tis my pleasure." replied Amora. "T'will prevent me from thinking about the repugnant resurrection of Asgard in the universe where once I did live."
"Oh, yeah, I heard about that." said Stealth. "Sorry it's turned out that way. Makes me wonder what the hell The Powers That Be are smoking. And, for that matter, what TPTB are smoking at that OTHER universe where I used to live. I heard something about me and some of my ex-teammates being impersonated in some really stupid kind of crisis."
Amora changed the subject. "And where be thy adorable cherub?"
"Asleep, thank the goddess." Stealth answered wearily. "The formula is warm in case he wakes up, feel free to snack on anything...oh, and I also left a movie for you next to the television -- I hope you'll like it, it's called 'Excalibur.'"
"Ah, yes," smiled Amora, "Helen Mirren as Morgan Le Fay -- a splendid performance." She paused. "Although I might have shined even brighter in such a role -- I hath often been an actress of sorts during my long existence...perhaps I should have spent the previous century interacting with the mortals' wonderful world of cinema..."
Stealth forced a smile and changed the subject. "I better go now -- can't keep my teammates waiting while they're fighting an interstellar war, ya know?"
"Yes, of course." said Amora. "I hope tis a memorable and victorious battle. Take care of thyself."
"Thanks, you too." replied Stealth, halfway out the door. "Bye."
”…reports continue to come in as we attempt to piece together exactly what has happened in this recent series of catastrophes. The United Planets has issued yet another statement regarding the recent destruction of Earth, although at this time, the radiation levels remain far too strong for an investigatory team to get on-planet and figure out what caused the massive destruction of an entire planet….”
“…It began with the coup of the Evil Emperor Penguin, as Earth was subjected to the tyrannical takeover…SMB continued to battle against him, with almost their entire membership engaged in the resistance, fighting back the INVASION…villains throughout the universe banded together to help the Evil Emperor Penguin…though it began to look as if they had a chance, the universe was shocked when apparently a gigantic explosion resulted in the destruction of the entire Earth…”
“I’m telling you Larry, it’s a conspiracy…that is not the Earth of this universe! It simply does not have the same measurements of Earth, and is an entirely other planet. It just can’t be…”
“Really Mel, giving us one of your crazed conspiracy theories so soon after the tragedy…isn’t’ that a little inappropriate?”
“Today was a somber day, as the SMB, the greatest heroes this universe has ever seen, were laid to rest. The surviving SMBers, so few, were seen here, as Lash Lad and his wife, Stretchable Lass, mourned the loss of so many loved ones. Weeks ago the disappearance of Faraway Lad had created a panic among the media, and now that seems so much smaller in scale to the wholesale death of so many great heroes…”
--click—
A purple-gloved hand turned off the various view screens, and threw the omni-remote to the floor. “Enough of that…” said a voice. The man turned now to the cold confines of his lab, and looked at the dead body before him. He had found what had to be the most credible source possible, the UP military personnel that was viewing time/space fluxes at the exact moment was Earth was destroyed. A simple brain removal procedure, combined with an intra-scan of the brain, allowed him to get the information he needed and the rest he just pieced together.
He had heard about the Evil Emperor Penguin’s plan of course, and watched as many of his former colleagues eagerly signed up to help. But this was no ordinary henchman, and he worked for no one but himself. This was The Trumpeter, the greatest and most evil mind in Earth-4. And now his Earth was apparently destroyed, or so the universe believed it to be. But he was much smarter than the universe, and had figured out the truth.
He clicked on his image inducer and assumed the form of an elderly, but fit, gentleman in a science police uniform. He turned to the corpse beside him, with the brain pulled out, and pressed a device, incinerating it, and then left the room, the smell of burnt corpse still in his nostrils.
The entire SMB gone, just like that. The capital of the UP, Earth, also gone. The UP was in a panic and things were spirally out of control. If ever there was a time to strike, it was now.
“Good morning Chief Parker,” a uniformed officer said to him. After all, he had killed the Science Police Chief a month ago and had assumed his identity ever since.
Yes, it was time to strike. But something was gnawing at him. It was almost going to be too easy. And two years ago, his longtime goals had suddenly changed. He knew what it was….
“Chief, that report you wanted is on your desk,” said another officer. “The lab boys are working on that sound project you’ve got going. They sure were impressed by that code you gave them…”
The Trumpeter said nothing. Of course they were impressed. That code could never be created by the Science Police’s best and brightest on their best days. He had thought it up that morning. No, no, taking this universe now would not be enough. If there were multiple universes, with multiple Earths, it would not be right to only conquer one and stop there. All of the multiverse must be his. More importantly, all of the multiverse must pay homage to him and recognize that there was nothing in existence that he could not touch, analyze and experiment on. There was nothing that he could not violate—nothing that he could not make his.
So yes, he would take Earth-4’s universe as his own. But he would take all the rest too.
NOT THE END
more coming soon in a Onevision near you!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
He was always on time for everything. He always remembered everyone’s birthdays. He collected timepieces.
Most people found him mildly annoying.
In adolescence, he discovered he possessed the power to tell instantly what time it was anywhere in the universe and tell the age of any object.
Now, he trains in the LMB Academy so that someday, he’ll be one of the greatest heroes of all time: Time Teller Lad.
“How does that sound?” Time Teller Lad asked.
Rockhopper Lad smiled at his younger friend. “It sounds fine, Tim,” he said as diplomatically as he could. “What’s it for?”
“I’m writing my memoirs. I want to be able to inspire other kids.”
Rockhopper Lad chuckled. “I don’t think you’re allowed to write memoirs before age twenty, Tim. But I’m glad to see that you’re aiming high.”
Tim smiled. “Some of the others think my powers are kind of lame, but I know they have lots of practical uses.”
“They do indeed,” the Pyngwyn Prince said. “Among other things, you’re the best scheduler in explored space. And you’re in the best place to learn how to use your powers.”
“Being at the LMB Academy has been the best experience of my life, Rocky.” Tim paused, savouring the fact that he was allowed to use a nickname that Rockhopper Lad only let close friends call him. “And one day soon, maybe I’ll be a full member of the LMB.”
Rockhopper Lad smiled. “Yes, some day. In the meantime, you’re well-thought-of among the LMB membership, Tim. So don’t be in such a hurry. You of all people should know, you have time.”
But even a young man obsessed with time can be impatient. He idolised the LMBers and had for years and to be in the Academy and to have caught the attention of the LMB’s Deputy Leader was more exciting than he could imagine. But he wanted his chance to be the hero. His mentor’s words to the side, he knew his powers weren’t the most impressive or most useful in a fight. Maybe if he could do more.
The next day after he went over Rockhopper Lad’s schedule with him, Tim asked him “Rocky, what can I do to increase my powers?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Is there any way I can expand my powers? Like you did when you got the super-breath.”
“That just sort of happened, Tim. And to answer your question, I don’t know. I’m not sure how your powers work. Whatever triggers your meta-gene might respond to something and cause them to increase or maybe not. But even then, it’s really hard to determine what that something might be.” Rockhopper Lad put an arm around Tim. “If there’s one thing my encounter with my double taught me it’s what happens when someone has more power than they can handle. We’ve lost some LMBers that way.”
“I still wish there was more I could do.”
Later that day, as he was walking to his dormitory room, Tim heard a very familiar voice say, “Poor Tim. He has potential to do so much more. Pity he’s so weak.”
“Who said that?” he demanded.
“Who said that? Why you did!” And all of a sudden Tim saw himself standing before him. Or it looked like him, but slightly taller and with a more muscular build.
“Who are you?”
“I’m you. At least I’m you on my world.”
“What world is that?”
“We call it Earth-1. You call it Earth-4.”
“Earth-4 was destroyed. Rocky–Rockhopper Lad saw it.”
“He only saw what my Lord wanted him to see.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’ll learn. I came because you made a wish. Your wish is what brought me here.”
“I’m a genie on your world?”
“Oh, no. Much better. Genies are slaves to whoever holds the lamp. I answer only to my Lord and his Consort.”
“The more you say the less I understand.”
“Let’s put it this way. How would you like to be able to do this.” The other Tim waved his hand and everything around them stopped. They walked down the hall to see people frozen in mid-stride. A bird flying just outside the window was motionless in the air. “Or this!” He waved his hand again and the two Tims appeared outside the building. “You see, my Lord has granted me mastery of time and space. I am no longer merely Time Teller Lad. I am now Tempus, Master of Time.”
“Amazing!”
“And all this can be yours.”
“It can?”
“My Lord has given it to me to bestow the same powers on you.”
“I don’t know. This doesn’t feel right. Still, it would be awfully cool...”
“Why don’t you accept the gift on a trial basis? If you’re not delighted, I’ll be glad to take them back.”
“Well...”
“This opportunity will not come again.”
Tim thought for a moment. He was torn. On the one hand, he really didn’t like this “other self”, but in the other, Tim would be able to do so much good with these powers. Maybe they would automatically graduate him from the Academy and he could become a full member of the LMB.
“All right. I accept.”
“Now, remember, you mustn’t tell anyone about this.”
“Will they automatically be forfeit if I do?”
“Something like that. Now brace yourself!”
Tempus waved his hand and time started back up around them. He then put a hand on Tim’s chest and for what seemed an eternity, but as Tim well knew was only 12.7 seconds, Tim felt energies pour into him such as he had never felt. “That’s it!” Tempus said.
“That’s it?”
“You now have complete power over time and space. Try stopping time.”
Tim concentrated a moment and then everything around them was frozen, just as Tempus had done earlier. Lad Boy and Lash Lad happened to be walking nearby. Both were now as still as statues. Outdoor Miner was teleporting in just a few metres in the other direction. The front half of him had exited his portal, but his back half had not.
This all reminded him of a scene he had scene in an early 21st-Century video presentation he had seen once.
Tim smiled at Tempus. “How can I ever thank you?”
“The time will come.” Tempus said ominously as he disappeared.
The first thing Tim wanted to do was to tell Rockhopper Lad about his new powers. Rockhopper Lad had been so supportive of Tim, he just had to be the first to know. He teleported himself to the Rookery and into Rockhopper Lad’s office where he was sitting behind his desk. Frozen in place. Oops! Tim thought. Forget to unstop time. When time began flowing again, Tim shouted, “Rocky! Guess what!”
Rockhopper Lad was more than slightly shocked. “Tim! Where did you come from?”
“That’s my news! It happened! My powers have grown! I now have power over time and space!”
“Just like that?”
“Yes. I can freeze time and I can teleport and...”
“I’m glad for you, Tim, but how did it happen?”
“It sort of–just happened...”
“How did it happen, Tim?”
“I–I can’t tell you.”
“Did it involve radiation? That can be so dangerous!”
“No. Not radiation.”
“Did it involve magic, Tim?”
“Well...”
“Tim, magic can be very dangerous if you aren’t used to it.”
“But look at what I can do!” Tim then teleported them to the middle of the LMBPlaza. “And look at this!” He grabbed Rockhopper’s arm and time froze again all around them.”
“Well, it is impressive, Tim.”
Returning time to its flow, Tim grinned, “now I’m just now exploring all this stuff, but let’s see what I can do to that banyo fruit peel on the sidewalk!” Tim pointed to the banyo fruit peel which instantly withered away to dust.
“How does it feel when you use these powers, Tim?”
“What?”
“Does it feel natural to you. Like using your other powers.”
Tim had to think a moment. It really didn’t and he wasn’t sure what to say. “But Rocky, I–I...”
“You have done exactly what we wanted!” came what sounded like Rockhopper Lad’s voice. Rockhopper Lad and Time Teller Lad looked behind them to see the Evil Emperor Pyngwyn, the Earth-1 Blaine Fey and Tempus.
“Eudyptes!” Rockhopper Lad shouted. “I might have known you were behind this!”
“I knew Tempus’ double would be easily manipulated, Eudyptes,” the Evil Emperor replied. “We just needed for him to make a wish and we could send Tempus here and give him Tempus’ own powers.”
Knowing that his double loved to hear himself talk, Rockhopper Lad asked him, “What do you mean, Eudyptes?”
“We cast a spell, Eudyptes, whereby when this one wished for more powers–which I knew he would do–they’re so feeble–we could send Tempus to him. His desire helped pierce the gate between the worlds. But there was one difference: Each time he used it when Tempus was on our world, it created a tesseract between them. And now that it is big enough for us three to pierce, we will conquer Legion World!”
“Excuse me, Mr. Emperor,” Tim interrupted, “but does the tesseract get bigger when Tempus is on this world?”
“No, you insignificant, flea.”
“Good!” Tim closed his eyes and in the next instant...
In Rockhopper Lad’s office, Rockhopper put an arm around Tim. “If there’s one thing my encounter with my double taught me it’s what happens when someone has more power than they can handle. We’ve lost some LMBers that way.”
“Still, I...” Tim trailed off.
“What were you going to say, Tim?”
“Never mind. I just remembered that old saying about being careful what you wish for.”
Meanwhile on Earth-4
Tempus sighed. “It’s no use, my Lord. The opportunity has passed. The alignment will not be right to try this again for years.”
The Emperor nodded. “Thank you, Tempus. No matter. If not today, I will have Legion World one day soon. It’s just a matter of time.”
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic | Subscribe To Topic
dedman: Dedman was started of with "the voice of the dead" which is very similiar to Jesse's power in Preacher
