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It was Eryk Davis Ester's fault, as these things usually are.
But maybe you would like to know the entire story, and then you could judge for yourself.
See, it started with Joeboy on monitor duty, only he was using the super-computer to download space-porn as he is wont to do.
Teeds, Rhino and Sketchy were watching the "Universe's Next Top Space-Model" marathon. There was mention of Teeds' cookies but that really doesn't have anything to do with what happened.
Scott and Caroline were at the hover-drive-in watching Kill Bill 79.
Cobalt Kid, Tamper Lad and Caliente were enjoying dinner at Cafe Cramer's.
And Lash had forced Eryk to go to karaoke with him.
Lots more people were involved, too, but most of them ended up zombie-chow. But there I go, getting ahead of myself again.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone knows you're as straight as Inventory Day at HQ is long. Now pick out a song."
"I don't DO this!"
Lash Lad let out an overly-dramatic fake exasperated sigh. "Okay, let me explain it again while I get you another Silverale."
"I don't think I need another Silverale.
"Nonsense. No one sings karaoke unless they're tanked up. It makes you sing better."
"I'd imagine it makes it sound better, too." Eryk glanced to the stage where a sentient was belting out Josephine (The Time Machine Song)... badly. "Hmm. I think I *will* have that Silverale."
Lash Lad had already bought it.
"Okay, so the deal is, this omnichip contains every song ever written. You can browse the list or type in an artist or title. But I think it's more fun to have the chip pick one for you at random."
"You would. Do they have any Boyz 4 U? I kind-of liked that song Girl, Your Best Friend's Hot."
"Please don't embarass yourself like that. Just hit the RANDOM SELECTION option and turn it in to the host-chick."
Eryk hid his annoyance well and complied. "HOOOOkay! This sounds like it may be interesting."
"What's the song?"
Eryk looked a bit perplexed. "Jillikers! Have you ever heard of a song called Ragnarok Around the Clock by some band call "Old Scratch"?
"No, but it sounds fun! Turn it in, turn it in!"
"Get me another Silverale first. That hostess is really hot... I need just a tad more liquid courage."
"You sure are costing me a lot of credits for someone I have no chance to score with."
The two friends laughed drunk-loudly and Lash ordered another round.
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"Dude, she just called you up! It's your turn to sing!"
"BuuuUUUuuurp!"
"Oh, yeah, this oughtta be good! And be sure to ask for her space-cell number!"
Eryk stumbled somewhat as he approached the hover-stage. He looked at the hostess and grinned. "Heaven must be missing an angel, 'cause you're really hot."
"Er--- thanks, I guess." The hostess glanced at her screen. "Ragnarok Around The Clock? Never heard of it."
"Me neither. So, you come here often?" Eryk asked as he reached for the omni-microphone.
"Er--- yes, I work here every weekend to keep paying for my Grandin gender-reversal transfusions."
"Grandi... oh."
"So, loverboy, you ready?"
"Take it off!!!" yelled a voice from the audience as Eryk took center stage.
"*sigh* I guess so."
"Everybody get ready for the sure-to-be-smooth stylings of Eryk Davis Ester!!"
Lash Lad hooted and hollered as the music began.
Possibly due to too much Silverale, Eryk was noticably awkward as he attempted to keep up with the lyrics.
"1 and 2 o'clock, RAGNAROK! Time to raise the undead flock
These are the words that must be said bolive auronne ambliead bolive auronne ambliead bolive auronne ambliead boli... Umm, it just keeps going on like this. Is it broken?"
LMB HQ
Joeboy nearly dropped his space-colada when 9 separate emergency calls overrode his... let's just call it 'research'.
"What the frag--!"
"Oh, no WAY. No EFFIN way. Hogwash, that's what this is. Somebody's tryin' to give me a little scare towards the end of my run, that's what!"
As Joeboy settled back into his chair, something shambled into the monitor room. Something vaguely familiar.
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The zombie's large man-teats were crawling with maggots. Fluids dripped from various body openings.
"LARDLAD...!??!" Joeboy yelled. "B... but... when did you get so... decomposed?"
The shambling corpse's only response was a groan.
"YAAAH!" Joeboy knocked over his chair as he leapt away from the creature's outstretched arm.
And just as he was about to transform into Kid Marvel, the entire room was plunged into darkness. "Oh, what NOW!!?!" Oddly, the darkness didn't unnerve him. It in fact made him feel very soothed, very good, even with the zombie stumbling around the room moaning and confused. "Shadowplay?"
"Yes. Follow my voice."
And he did. Seconds later, he exited the monitor room into the well-lit hallway. "I figured that soothing darkness had to be you!"
Shady stood calmy. In recent years she had been seen only rarely, usually during the worst of possible crises.
"What happened to Lardlad?" Joeboy asked.
"That creature isn't the Lardlad we know. It is the deceased clone once called Hugemanbreasts, now returned as an undead cannibal."
"C... cannibal? Gross! Well, I'll seal the monitor room off. That should hold it until we can figure out what to do with it!"
"And with all the rest."
"The... rest?" Joeboy recalled the monitor calls he hadn't had time to check.
"This is happening everywhere. Kid Marvel is needed."
Shady had barely finished the sentence before Joeboy said the magic word.
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