The anthropomorphic blob called Goo Guy slithered out. The Legionnaires had changed into new uniforms from the previous tryout. In came a pale boy, all regal in a white prince's uniform. He held his nose up in the air.
Not another Projectra. Was Shadow Lass's thoughts.
"Greetings", the applicant said, I am Henrii Chahrliz of Diana, the third Lunar Colony. But please, call me the White Prince." He bowed.
"O... kay." Lightning Lad said. "It says you're a shapeshifter."
"Indeed. I have the ability to transform into a multitude of animals native to the Earth. Watch."
In a flash, the White Prince began a myriad of transformations. From a horse, to a bear, to a wolf, to a lion, to a crane, to a zebra (although it was hard to tell since it had no stripes), finally to a hawk. It flew around the room for a quick demonstration before it settled back in the center of the room.
"I can even transform into animals whose origins are mythic in nature."
The prince began to transformation into the likes of a unicorn, a sea serpent, a manticore, a griffin, a phoenix, until finally he transformed into a huge white dragon and breathed out gray flames in the air. The Legionnaires, though, weren't that impressed. The prince turned back to normal.
"So, when shall I-?"
"Next." Lightning Lad said.
"Excuse me?" The Prince asked.
"We thank you for coming, however the Legion is about DIVERSITY, so we made it clear in our application vids that we would only accept members who have completely unique powers from the members who already serve on the team. We do it to avoid situations like this."
"I, I don't understand." The Prince stammered. "You, you're rejecting me? ME? But, but you've seen what I-"
"I'm sorry, but we don't allow in members who have the same abilities as a current member." Lightning Lad explained, trying to be as civil as possible.
"What? But, but I-"
"Sorry, better luck next time." Light Lass apologized.
"Ne-"
"Who the HELL do you peasants think you are?" The White Prince screamed at them. "My powers are a million times more useful than that overblown chameleon!"
"Huh? I'm awake!" Chameleon Boy shouted, waking up from his catnap.
"Not for long!" The Prince screamed, about to change back into a dragon, "you yellow piece of-"
"HENRII!"
Suddenly, an old woman, (aren't they all) burst into the room and grabbed the Prince by his ear just as he was about to turn back into a dragon.
"Ow! Let go, mom!"
"WHAT did I tell you about running around in that stupid prince's outfit!"
"But mom! I'm trying out for the Legion!"
"I don't care! You are in big trouble, mister! What did I tell you would happen if you through another temper tantrum?"
"Leggo, mom! You are being super uncool!"
"Kid, listen to your mom." Ultra Boy told him.
"He's not a child, he's 43!"
The Legionnaires, shocked, watched as the room dragged the, apparently, 43 year old White Prince from the room.
"But mom, I'm with my friends!"
"And for the last time you need friends your own age. And stop dressing up like a twelve year old!"
"M-om!"
Suddenly, the next applicant came running in.
"Hi, I'm Pulse Princess! I can send out EMP waves within a five mile radius. Watch!"
KZZZTT!
The room, and everything else in a five mild radius, was shorted out into darkness. No one said anything.
"So... am I in the Legion?" The so-called Princess asked.
Try-Out IV: TIME TURNER
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
"Uh, thank you for the very, very informative discussion on the properties of boxes, Cardboard Kid."
"Thank you! You know, most people don't know-"
"NEXT!"
The Cardboard Kid waddled out of the room in both his boxes and in his failure. After that, the next applicant to come in was wearing a horrible collage of what could only be describe as a combination of the costumes of Hourman, Chronos, and Clock King (the first one).
"Hi! I am, the Time Turner!"
"Yes we knooowww thaaaaaattttt..." Lightning Lad began to slur.
"Wwwwwhhhhhaaaaaatttttt... aaaaaarrrreee... yyyyyooooooouuuuuurrrrrr..." Was all Light Lass could get out before she froze completely.
"Darn it! This happens to me every time!" The Time Turner bemoaned, before stomping out of the room after he just ruined his audition for the Legion. Before it even began!
Every one of the Legionnaires was now stuck, frozen in time.
Phantom Girl twirling a strand of her black hair.
Projectra's face contorted in an almost sneeze.
Ultra Boy stuck in mid-belch.
Suddenly, the door's slid open and Chameleon Boy walked back in.
"Hey guys, sorry I-what the?"
He stopped to survey his time stopped comrads. He waved his hands in their faces, transformed into a tiger and roared in their faces, then he poked at Saturn Girl and knocked her over.
"Oops."
Suddenly, a light bulb flashed in his head. This was the perfect opportunity to demonstrate to his friends how unneccesarry the concept of "clothing" was.
...
"rrrrrr strengths?" Light Lass finished. Time finally caught up to the Legionnaires.
"Hey where'd he-"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"OH MY GOD, WHAT THE?"
The Legionnaires suddenly began to panic when they realized they were completely nude!
Bare breasts and six pack abs, among other things, bared to, ahem, naked air.
Phantom Girl had already phased through the floor, while Projectra and Invisible Kid disappeared.
"Okay! Okay no one-"
Too late. As some of the ones with super strength had started ripping off metal from the walls to cover themselves.
"What? You guys look great!" Cham said/
Try-Out V: LUCK LASS
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
posted
I read all of these last night...funny stuff! Also, good job coming up with crazy powers that seem like they'd be right at home in any Legion tryout..
-------------------- Read the alternate adventures of the Legion after Legion of Three Worlds! postlo3w
Registered: Nov 2009
| IP: Logged |
ABILITY: PROBABILITY AND LUCK MANIPULATION. BELIEVES TO BE "BLESSED" BY THE LUCK LORDS.
"Um, thank you, uh, Iron Maiden, we'll uh, let you know."
"Thank. You."
SCCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH.
Was the sound of the heavy metal robot girl dragging her feet on the ground as she left the room. Nearly everyone was covering their ears to block out the sound. The floor now had deep scratch marks. The latest bit of damage.
In came an orange-haired, freckled girl in a green outfit decorated with shamrocks and four-leaf clovers.
"Hi." She said.
"Okay, it says your power is..."
"I have the ability to alter the natural probability and luck of the people around me." Annie explained.
"And you acquired this power how, exactly?" Phantom Girl asked.
"On a vacation to Ventura I found a stone buried on a beach that was said to belong to the infamous Luck Lords. Ever since I've had the ability to cause accidents or something good to happen."
"Young lady, just because you're nearby when a car crashes or someone wins the lottery doesn't mean you can call it a superpower." Projectra said.
"This coming from the woman who can make a man believe his face is melting off." Light Lass joked, getting a growl from Timber Wolf.
"Can you give us a demonstration?" Lightning Lad.
"Okay, but, um..." Annie trailed off.
"What?"
"It's nothing."
I have a bad feeling about this.
Annie's hands began to glow red as she pointed to the Legionnaires.
"Here, I'm going to make it so you-oh no!"
Suddenly, her hands turned black, and the three seating rows above Lightning Lad developed a black aura as well. And then-
CRASH!
Cries and screams let out as the seating rows fell through the floor.
"I, I can't always guarantee what luck I'm able to give." Annie said, bashfully grinning.
"That would've be nice to know BEFOREHAND, batwitch!" Timber Wolf yelled from the hole.
"Come back when you have better control, Luck Lass." Lightning Lad said.
Annie sulked out of the room. The other Legionnaires turned their attention to the hole.
"Are you guys okay?" Phantom Girl yelled into the hole.
"I'm fine! Timber Wolf's giant ass broke my fall." Dream Girl yelled.
"Hey!"
"Well it did!"
Try-out VI: KING SUMO
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
"Um, okay..." Lightning Lad trailed off. Their next applicant after Nature Boy was a large, in both the muscle, height, and weight category, Japanese teen wearing one of those sumo, um, for lack of a better word, diaper. The Legionnaires were all scrunched together in the first row.
"So, does anyone have a go at this?" Lightning Lad motioned.
"Ah, I was getting bored anyway." Ultra Boy said, struggling to get out of his seat. He flew in front of King and stood in front of him.
"Excuse me, but I do not believe it would be wise to fight such a... small, opponent." It was true, compared to the applicant, Ultra Boy looked very small.
"Small?" Jo screamed.
"I can take care of that!" Said the next applicant, a small blonde kid in a purple outfit. "I'm Weight Wizard."
"Do you mind? We're-" Jo stopped when he suddenly felt tingly.
It didn't take long before Jo became as bloated as King Sumo. Good thing the costumes can stretch to fit anyone. Not so good for Jo, though, who was feeling very, VERY embarrassed for his new ultra gut.
"Ah zork, look at me! I've got man boobs!"
"Don't worry, I can change you back."
"At least now it can be a fair fight." Invisible Kid joked, as nearly every Legionnaires were trying to hide their snickers at Jo's girth.
"Fine, let's just get this over with." Jo sighed.
DING! Went Chameleon Boy as he changed his hands into a bell. King and Ultra Boy got into position.
"Very well, but I must warn you I-"
BOOM!
Within five seconds the King was already through the wall.
"Ha! How's that for 'small'?" Jo said.
Nice job, Ultra Boy, you also managed to knock out Weight Wizard too.
It was true, as King Sumo had gone through the wall and landed on the next applicant.
"Which means you're gonna be stuck like that for a while." Phantom Girl joked.
"Awwwww... zork!" Jo stomped his foot, causing the floor to tremble at his weight.
"You mind taking those two to the infirmary?" Lightning Lad asked.
"Yeah, you could use the exercise." Star Boy muttered, earning a shot of heat vision from an irrate Jo before he dragged the two knocked out applicants to the infirmary.
"You know, I could've just fought him." Colossal Boy said to Lightning Lad.
"I know." Lightning Lad said.
You made Jo go through that just to get back at him for being with me in the pantry, didn't you? Saturn Girl asked Lightning Lad in his mind.
Yes, yes I did.
Not very responsible for a leader.
No, but I needed a good laugh today. Lightning Lad thought.
Try-out VII: CUPID KID
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
ABILITIES: CAN FIRE "LOVE ARROWS", ARROWS MADE UP OF PINK PSYCHIC ENERGY WHICH, WHEN STRIKING SOMEONE, WILL CAUSE THEM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE FIRST THING THEY SEE.
"Oh God I thought the sumo wrestler was bad..." Phantom Girl muttered.
Standing in front of them was a good looking kid with short blonde hair... wearing nothing but a diaper, a pair of sandals, and a pair of fake wings,
The try-out hall was now damaged beyond damage. Walls torn open, holes in the floor, not enough sitting room. The Legionnaires were all scrunched together in the first row.
The seats, already cramped, had become increasingly uncomfortable thanks to Ultra Boy's recent battle with obesity. Two Legionnaires had already been pressed up against his sides, which they actually acquated to being forced against a mattress. Jo was angrily munching on an energy bar and imagining breaking Weight Wizard's neck. AFTER he turned him back to his six-packed self, of course.
Chameleon Boy was in his own little world, putting on a little show for himself with finger puppets. Formed from his own fingers.
Shrinking Violet attempted to lessen the situation by sitting on Lightning Lad's shoulder.
"So, um, you're, Cupid Kid."
"Yes, that's correct." The applicant said.
"You DO know we have a dress code." Lightning Lad asked. "Right?"
"Oh, I knew I shouldn't have worn open-toed sandals." Cupid Kid said.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's the problem." Light Lass said.
"So, you're able to make people fall in love." Lightning Lad said, reading his application.
"Yes, I can make anyone fall in love with anyone. Especially him." CK pointed to Jo.
"Hey!"
"Watch."
CK held up a metal bow, and managed to manifest an arrow of pink energy.
"Hey-!" Lightning Lad said, before CK managed to fire one at Chameleon Boy."
"Ow!" Reep said, until, suddenly, he caught site of his Saturn Girl finger puppet. It was as if someone had started to play that annoying tune you hear from movies about prom night from the 1950s.
Reep's eyes, his pupils that is, had suddenly turned into two, pink hearts.
"Hi." He said. "I never noticed before how... enchanting you are."
And then he began kissing his own finger, slobbering over it. It was one of the most disturbing things anyone in the Legion had ever seen. Everyone around him were trying to get out of their seats.
"So, am I-"
"NO!" They all shouted amidst the sounds of passion coming from Reep.
"Fine!" Cupid Kid screamed. "Forget you!"
And he flew off.
"Wait! Dammit!" Lightning Lad said. But he was gone. "Now what are we gonna do with him?" He pointed to Cham, who was now doing eskimo kisses with his finger.
"I'm on it." Brin growled. "From the smell of that diaper he shouldn't be hard to find."
"Brin, Jo, go take care of it." Garth said. "We'll take a recess while you guys are gone."
"Come on, fat boy." Brin snarled as the two left.
"You know I could probably sit on you, right?" Jo threatened.
Cham was still whispering sweet nothings into his finger's "ears".
"What else?" Garth sighed as he put his head in his hands.
CRASH!
Bits of the roof fell down. Small chunks of metal fell in Garth's hair. And then the doors opened.
"Hi! I'm Sludge-"
"GET OUT!"
Try-out VIII: BOWEL BUSTER
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
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