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My last quote in The Big Bad's Random Quotes thread got me listening to my George Carlin collection. So I'm starting a thread just for Carlin quotes. Anyone can join in but I'll be posting a few to get it started.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
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Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!
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I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
From: Utah | Registered: Jul 2003
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"Why doesn't cat food come mouse flavored?"
"Have you ever noticed that most of the people who are against abortion are people that you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
"The word 'bipartisan' usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out."
From: Starhaven Consulate, City of Angels | Registered: Jul 2003
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