1) People think you're cool and admire all that posting you did.
2) The board immediately changes and you have access to the "All-Nightcrawler Forum".
3) You're banned and your username is then given to MLLASH so he changes the password. Soon you're username is used in LMB storylines, usually as a sextastic LMB villainess.
4) You were already MLLASH to begin with, so it doesn't really matter.
5) You realize that 20,000 is a much cooler milestone but getting there will likely drive you insane.
6) You can still see the difference between Inane Post threads and threads about why TMK was either good or bad.
Posted by Rody the Super-Rat on :
7) You retire from posting forever.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
8) You no longer have the ability to kill threads.
9) You immediately remember who all the minor Legion characters are.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
10) You suddenly remember all of the retcons of tghe Legion, and can discuss in detail the 4,632,315 distinct alternate boots of the team that have actually been published.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
11) When you say 'Bah' other posters computer screens go black for a few seconds.
12) When you say 'Feh', other posters simply explode.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
13) you get a list of everybody else's alt-IDs (you'd be surprised how many "people" are actually Fat Cramer).
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
14) You acquire artistic ability, if you previously had none.
15) Paul Levitz invites you to dinner.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
16) Cute cartoon forest creatures and birds become your posse.
17) Purple robes suddenly become fashionable.
Posted by Raging Bull on :
18) You instantly understand when another poster is trying to be ironic or sarcastic, without their having to use smilies.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
19) You learn how to type things like ♦
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
20) You realize that all of Cobie's alleged 'misspellings' are actually part of the very Code that governs our Matrix-like existence.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
21) You realize that an impossibly high goal (like 10,001 things) is attainable.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
22) You find that maintaining the top post count is much more fun than attaining it.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
23) You discover that antelope and Penelope don't rhyme.
[ April 21, 2009, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
24) You tolerate other people's mistakes.
25) You never make a typing mistak again.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
26)You spend lots of time at certain posters antics...
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
27) Keith Giffen offers to kill off your least favorite Legionnaire.
28) Your least favorite Legionnaire becomes Karate Kid.
Posted by cleome on :
29) Everyone says that you look fantastic in low-cut spandex, metallic sashes, and thigh-high boots.
30) But they say your spouse looks even more fantastic in them.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
31) When you die, you get reincarnated as a lurker.
32) You get to visit the Time Trapper clubhouse on a mind-bogglingly beautiful Polynesian island in the distant past, before it was ruined by commercialism.
33) You get to bet on sporting events of the past in the past, and you always win since you can look up the outcome beforehand.
34) You get to autograph-hunt among all the big-name people, before they are big names.
35) You get to pose for a free Leonardo da Vinci portrait.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
36) You have a realistic appreciation of numbers
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
37) you realize Quis is destined to with the "kill this thread" competition.
38) you realize Abin takes things far too seriously.
39) you learn that the LMBP really did not exist before Legion World; Cobie just makes up those 'old stories.'
40) you get your very own time bubble.
Posted by cleome on :
41) You can transform sound into light, and vice versa.
42) Deep Thought explains it all to you.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
43) You get your own personalized version of the Legion comic monthly, with creators chosen by you.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
(44) The IRS looks the other way when you write off flight ring insurance and transmatter depreciation as business expenses.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
45) You can now claim depreciation on your spouse as a business expense.
46) Chrysler will make a car Tamper Lad would like to buy.
47) Legion World is given a bailout and each Time Trapper is awarded $546.43 per post, while lesser classes settle for 43 cents/post.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
48) You have a wealth of entirely new ideas for threads.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
49) Small children flock to you.
50) Your entourage effectively deal with all the paparazzi
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
51) You begin to realize just how long one of these threads can linger and get bumped every so often so they essentially can run for 5-10 years.
[ May 01, 2009, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
52) You don't look ridiculous in a yellow Speedo.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
53) Your wife says, "Now, you truly are a man!"
54) You gain the artistic prowess of veryvery, Sketch Lad, and MLLASH, to name a few. George Perez asks for tips.
Posted by LardLad on :
55) Your wife finally stops nagging you. (as if )
Posted by cleome on :
56) You find out all the straight posters have turned gay, and all the gay posters have turned straight.
57) All the bisexual posters have turned asexual, and vice versa. They sit on the sidelines munching popcorn and sniggering at your bewilderment. Oh, and at those socks you always wear for Time Trapping.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
58) You get a company car.
59) You look better with your shirt off rather than on.
60) Three words: Minty fresh breath.
Posted by cleome on :
61) You can wear elven epaulets in public without anyone laughing at you.
62) Geoff Johns builds next Summer's super-ultra-fantastically-amazing crossover event around YOU!!
Posted by cleome on :
63) You can rid your favorite sitcom of those noxious laugh tracks, just by willing it!
64) The currency exchange will always favor you, no matter where in the galaxy you travel on vacation.
Posted by LardLad on :
65) Three words:
TWELVE!
INCH!
PENIS!
(Yes, even the female Trappers--right, FC? )
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
66) Optional surgery....
Posted by cleome on :
67) You can fix all those broken home appliances free, via telekinesis.
Posted by LardLad on :
quote:Originally posted by Fat Cramer: 66) Optional surgery....
(luv ya, FC! )
Posted by cleome on :
68) Every bar you go to is automatically an open bar.
69) You alone decide which seemingly innocuous number, word or phrase will become the next internet-wide snerk-worthy double entendre. (You will also be the sole determiner of its shelf life in that capacity.)
Posted by Anti-Matter Eater Lad on :
70) You suddenly develop the ability to freeze wood.
71) You still don't have the ability to win every Ebay competition.
[ July 04, 2009, 03:16 PM: Message edited by: Anti-Matter Eater Lad ]
Posted by Ram Boy on :
72) The ghost of Rip Taylor materializes and showers you with confetti...
73)...followed by the ghosts of Wayland Flowers and Madame who sings "Seventy-Six Trombones".
Posted by cleome on :
74) You get a major-league contract in the sport of your choice, along with the chance to endorse your favorite beer and receive free cases of it for life.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
75) A new religion develops around you, and you begin wearing a white suit (keeping the purple robe as a cape).
76) You send the purple robe out for drycleaning and they don't lose the hood.
Posted by cleome on :
77) No more ingrown hairs or toenails.
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
78) You become governor of Alaska.
79) You are given a secret identity.
80) Land a job at a large metropolitan newspaper.
Posted by cleome on :
81) Lifetime immunity from all computer viruses!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
82) Ice cream no longer contains calories.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
83) You suddenly look sexy in a speedo.
Posted by cleome on :
84) Buffed young dudes in Speedos follow you around, begging to add you as their "special" Facebook friend.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
85) "Sexy" becomes your middle name automatically.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
86. Now able to wear a Grell/Cockrum era Legion costume.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
86a) Because you now have magnetic nipples!
Posted by cleome on :
87. Now able to speak with Dave Cockrum on the astral plane. (He's doing great, BTW. Al Williamson also sends his regards.)
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
88. Super-breath!
Posted by cleome on :
89. You can kill unsightly weeds in the yard with just a single touch!
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
90) Hygiene maintenance no longer necessary--Time Trapper powers take care of that automatically!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
91. Perfect pitch.
Posted by cleome on :
92. A five-octave vocal range. Easy as pie!
Posted by Mattropolis on :
93. Flawless dance moves
Posted by lil'rhino on :
94) You get to peek inside Senor Widebottom's amazingly oversized pantaloons!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
95) You're under-arms smell like cinnamon!
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
96) Matching sock always found!
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
97) Your time machine never breaks down.
Posted by cleome on :
98) You no longer need sleep, food, regular exercise, expensive support garments, or the kind sentiments of your peers to-- KICK BUTT AND TAKE NAMES!!11
Posted by SharkLad on :
99) You can successfully cajole the fifth dentist to recommend Trident gum
Posted by Ram Boy on :
100) Posted by cleome on :
101. Your snow globe collection makes the Guinness Book.
Posted by cleome on :
102. All the cash you've ever mislaid/misplaced in your life comes back to you.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
103. You get invited to dinner by people you've never even met.
Posted by cleome on :
104. Summer blockbusters never, ever disappoint you. Not even a little.
[ July 18, 2010, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: cleome ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
105. You no longer need coffee to wake up in the morning.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
106. Your blood now contains nanites that will guarantee you quality TV reception everywhere you go.
Posted by cleome on :
107. They let you drive the forklift without undergoing the training course.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
108. Access to alternate universe where MST3K was never cancelled.
Posted by Lucifer07 on :
109 You can only travel 186,000 miles per second, it's not just a good ideal it's the law!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
110. Earn your post count in Euros every month.
Posted by Kent on :
111. Choice seating and complimentary meals at all Zagats-rated restaurants.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
112. Your poop no longer stinks.
Posted by Lucifer07 on :
113 First in line for any new Apple product
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
114. You get to pay for new Apple product with your poop.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
115. cleome comes to your front door dressed in a perky Time Trapper costume and sings the good news while tap dancing.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
116. You get to cut any line at Comic Con
Posted by Kent on :
117. Chief Taylor manages three posts in a row lot related to poop.
Posted by Lucifer07 on :
118 You get to play chess with Brainiac.
Posted by Kent on :
119. You can instantly recall any moment, any panel, that has ever appeared in DC comics.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
120. Your poop is used to permanently solve the fuel crisis. Posted by Fat Cramer on :
quote:Originally posted by Kent: 119. You can instantly recall any moment, any panel, that has ever appeared in DC comics.
121. You become Mark Waid?
Posted by Kent on :
(MW has impacted Legion timelines at least as much as any TT! )
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
122. Your poop becomes a contraceptive. Posted by cleome on :
123. You get to show up live for Stevie Wonder's guest shot on Sesame Street.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: 122. Your poop becomes a contraceptive.
^
124. You start inexplicably mistaking innocent words for more provocative ones.
Oh, wait...maybe that does happen! Posted by cleome on :
(It would only be noteworthy around here if a day went by without that happening.)
Damn kids these days. No respect. Posted by Chief Taylor on :
124. Them damn kids start showin' some damn respect! Posted by cleome on :
125. Your Broadway musical version of Threeboot Legion ("Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be") sweeps the 3010 Tonys!
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
126. Giffen's descendants launch a "10,001 Dead Karate Kids" musical to compete.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
127. You get the lead part in 10,001 Dead Karate Kids.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
128. Dr. Mayavale and Thora are cast in supporting roles
Posted by cleome on :
129. Rocky doesn't scold you for being noisy in the library.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
129a. Unless you want me to! Posted by cleome on :
130. Absolute, undisputed power over which cultural references truly qualify as "dated."
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
131. You obtain the ability to block LSH continuity nitpicking from being driven into the ground on the Legion topics.
Posted by cleome on :
132. You can bump locked threads, just to totally mess with everyone's minds.
Posted by cleome on :
133. Free high-quality cashmere for life. Robes, sweaters, hats, scarves... you name it.
Posted by Kent on :
quote:Originally posted by Chief Taylor: 131. You obtain the ability to block LSH continuity nitpicking from being driven into the ground on the Legion topics.
if only! Posted by cleome on :
134. You get the New Wave fans and the Alternative Rock fans together and no fistfights break out.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
135. You get compared to a kiss from a rose on the grave.
Posted by cleome on :
136. 100% ethical corporations gift you with high-yield stocks that split more times in a year than Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
137. You begin to wonder what things on this list might actually happen when you're a double time trapper or even a triple trapper.
Posted by Kent on :
138. free booze!!!!!!
Posted by cleome on :
139. You always get the correct ratio of peanuts to other varieties of nut in the dishes at the bar.
Posted by Kent on :
140. people mistake you for their favorite celeb... but only when you're in the mood for the extra attention.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
141. Your car never requires repair as long as you keep a Legion symbol on the plates.
Posted by cleome on :
142. Meter maids worship you, so your car never gets towed again.
Posted by Kent on :
143. Your car never runs out of gas, and never needs refueling.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
144. Various cultural nostalgia revivals only focus on the stuff you like.
Posted by Ramble Damsel on :
145. Kids agree with you that the stuff you didn't like when you were their age was crap.
Posted by cleome on :
146. All the great local groups that you never got to see in the Nineties play a free reunion concert in the park five blocks away.
Posted by Ramble Damsel on :
146a. Heroin dealers make a killing that night.
Posted by cleome on :
quote:Originally posted by Ramble Damsel: 146a. Heroin dealers make a killing that night.
Not if I have anything to say about it. Posted by cleome on :
quote:Originally posted by Ramble Damsel: 146a. Heroin dealers make a killing that night.
146b. Heroin dealers The Food Bank sets out 1,000 donation barrels and they make a killing that night.
Fixed! Rehabbed!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
146c. You gain the ability to transform opiates into canned goods or clothing.
Posted by cleome on :
147. You can turn the poetry in The New Yorker 100% good!
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
148. Your caption wins The New Yorker cartoon contest.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
149. Those "male enhancement" products actually work!
Posted by Kent on :
150. The Continuity Cops actually listen to what you say in the tone it was presented rather than how they read only what they want into your words.
Posted by Ramble Damsel on :
151. People find your sense of humor funny rather than disturbing.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
152. Ramble Damsel listens to American Idiot at my urging and realizes that Green Day is actually pretty good! (I mean who couldn't like "Jesus of Suburbia"?!? )
Posted by Ramble Damsel on :
153. Ramble Damsel informs the Chief that she didn't even like "Jesus of Suburbia" and wishes Billie Joe Armstrong would cut out his own tongue so he couldn't sing anymore...or what passes for singing.
Posted by cleome on :
154. Coffee grinders are not allowed to die on you anymore.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
155. Even the shoddiest mp3 sounds like pristine vinyl.
Posted by cleome on :
156. You can train squirrels to dig up weeds, instead of your perennial bulbs.
Posted by cleome on :
157. Your favorite childhood TV star reveals that you were their favorite fan all along.
Posted by cleome on :
158. 11,001 posts in just one weekend!!11
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
159. Guilt-free inane posting sprees.
Posted by Kent on :
160. your avatar posts without you; in the morning you get to read all the witty things it wrote as you while you were off-board.
Posted by cleome on :
161. Grits no longer scare the bejeezus out of you.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
162. You master one musical instrument of your choice.
Posted by cleome on :
163. The world finally quits that hack Anne Taintor and throws buckets of money at your collage work, instead.
[ October 03, 2010, 09:52 AM: Message edited by: cleome ]
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
164. The New York Times Best Seller List? You get to make it up.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
165. Gets cuchi-cooed by Charo at a Legion World Roast.
Posted by Kent on :
166. News media calls you for your opinion on important matters.
Posted by cleome on :
167. You get to throw out the first pitch at the opening of the 3011 Moopsball All-Star Games.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
168. You are granted citizenship in all countries of the world, and free transportation to whichever port you want.
Posted by Set on :
169. An award ceremony that culminates with you atop a giant pyramid, wearing sun-god robes, while hundreds of sexy worshippers cheer and throw tiny pickles at you.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
170. You become perfectly cut and buff without touching a weight or setting foot in a gym.
Posted by Set on :
171. You become a master of all weapons, as the skills of great conquerors through history are downloaded into your brain.
Posted by Set on :
172. You never double post again.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
173. Kathy Ireland from her swimsuit model days does not visit you with drinks and a happy attitude.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
174. Everyone thinks you're just the most awesome entity in the existence of time and can't help but worship the ground you walk on.
Posted by Set on :
175. You get the coveted 'get out of jail free' card, and any previous criminal convictions are sealed and buried.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
176. You gain the ability to erase certain people from existence.
Remember Obnoxious Lad?
Of course you don't.
Posted by Kinetix (Zoe Saugin) on :
177. You get to wear something other than those icky purple robes!
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
178. All the retcons are reconned out of exsistence
Posted by cleome46 on :
179. Home-baked treats never go stale, even months after they come out of the oven.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
180. Dinosaurs come back to life and rule Earth.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
181. Hostess stays in business
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
183. Posters do not skip the dreaded number 182.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[ROTFLMAO]](graemlins/rotflmao.gif)
at certain posters antics...
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
)
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
)
![[Love]](graemlins/love.gif)
)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Yes]](graemlins/nod.gif)
![[Triplicate Girl - Re-Imagined]](graemlins/TriplicateGirl3.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Good]](graemlins/angel.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
)
![[Bouncing Boy]](graemlins/BouncingBoy.gif)