Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum The Giant Squid Memorial Center for the Advancement of Alt ID Culture

Shut up! Or I'll give you boogers, no girl dates guys with boogers!

i dated a guy with boogers........


ok, no i didn't. You're right Viviane, no girl dates guys with boogers!

Booger-Eater Lass does.

Medicus One.

It's marked "Faraway's Death Bed". You can't miss it.

GRabs hold of Miner in a huge bear hug.

"quickly my friend, you must teleport me there at once"

Grasps Axe firmly and pours Miner a horn of mead for strength.

Sure.

Fortunately I don't need to be able to breathe to do this.

Just take one step back, will you. Good man.

<both disappear>

<opens doors>

Lucifer Lass, you have a visitor. And an invitation. Times are a'changin' on Legion World, and the LMB apparently are in a rough spot.

Our motives are vastly different, but I don't care. Now is the time for their pain and suffering. What you do with them after is your own business. Shall you join us?

Oh, and I can promise you Eryk Davis Ester is that helps, considering that I have direct knowledge that he knows your origins, which I gained as my time as a LMBer myself.

D'oh! Look at this mean lookin' cuss! He's probably here to offer me a job as a movie star! Haw!

Shut up, you stupid meat-face! You're gonna make him go away like you always do with your dumb jokes!

Hm...

<grabs Double-Header, pushes him backwards over a table, holding the red palms and their honeyed painful ooze up to his face>

This looks like the perfect time for you to make the big stage, boys. I'm thinking you're going to be joining in on this little villain campaign. What do you say?

<holds ooze between their faces>

Gah! Why should we help you? The only one I hate is my stupid other head!

Because which ever head doesn't help me, will ensure the other gets this body all to themselves. Are you willing to risk not helping me, knowing your other head might betray you?

Stupid other head!

Seems to me you were thoroughly trounced the last time you fought the LMB, Bee. What makes you think it will be any different this time?

Strength in numbers.

And guerilla tactics to hit them where they're weakest.

<full on smile>

The last time I fought the entire LMB, things happened almost precisely as I wanted them too. Who won and who loss wasn't where I was concerned. My motivations concern their terror. And to remind them that they have little control over this world.

Whatever your motivations are, a loose alliance may benefit you. Something else else to think about...

Ewwww I hate bugs. Bee, I'm watching you.

Tamper's a crazy evil genius, and he'll to spray you and your bees with that malathion I bought him for his birthday. (It was that or cufflinks, his requests are so weird sometimes.)

How the heck did I end up as Tamper's herald anyways?

It seems to me you need me far more than I need you, Bee. If you want an alliance with me, you're going to have to make a better offer than Ester. After all, I already have him.

Threefold:

- Access to a secret stash of gender reversal germs from last summer that can be made irreversable, if that will help in your kill all males beliefs that you once held.

- The Secret Location of the missing LardLad.

- A way back to the parrallel universe you once believed was your home.

Still not doing it for you?

<throws small pouch onto the table>

Open it. And tell me what you think of the contents.

<places hand over pouch, and then takes it without opening it>

I think you've got a deal, Bee.

<moves uncomfortably close to the Bee, and whispers in his ear>

But just so you know... disappoint me, and I'll add your... little stinger to my collection.

<disappears in a burst of flame>

Alright Bee the game is up. Tamper's bumbling let you get away at Winema's but I'm on the case now. (Seriously who uses a perfume spritzer to kill bugs?)

Give it up and I won't have to hurt you.

<faces the Bee, ready for action>

We have gorillas that are going to steal their booze? Cool beans. i thought porcupines were cool but ninja gorillas blocking off their alcohol supplies is genius.

I'm resistant to your glamourous fabulosity villain. Surrender and I won't let Tamper Lad use his technology to turn you into a McDonalds French Fry chef.

Nova honey, do you have magic based powers? Because I might have to turn you into something amusing or, you know, zap you if you have. Or, well, I say me. I'll actually just stand in the background looking fabulous, it's the LMBP Spectre that'll do the zapping.

I have no magical powers. Sorry fabulous one, I can't let the villains unite.
The LMB is scattered all over the place and Tamper Lad is, how can I put this nicely? Oh yes I know this better than anyone. TL's not man enough for the challenge of stopping the united villains.

<Detonates the air around GP and charges him during the ensuing chaos.

Nova grabs Glamour Puss' fabulous gold locks and not only messes his coiffure but rips out clumps of hair by the roots.>

oooh, you bitch. But never mind, I am now Eclipso, I can recover from worse than that. I am immune to your physical assault.

But, as a by the by, you know you said Tamper Lad wasn't man enough? Well, now I have major league magic on my side (even though I'm, you know, destroying magic) how'd it suit you if I worked a little whammy and turned Tamper Lad into Tamper *Lass*. That could be quite funny. Although I suppose then she could be some kind of credible threat....