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Biz can have the advice column. I'm starting a new weekly column called IS HE OR ISN'T HE?

Sounds GREAT STU! I'm an Aries

Horrorscope for September 29

Aries: You might wake up thinking this is one of those days that you should just stay in bed. You'd be correct.

Only if you were there to snuggle with, STUey!

Are you triplicated?

<font size="12">Abin and Reboot Duke Rile Up Boss Prime and Sheriff Cobalt P. Coltrane</font s>

by Trysexual Girl

Last night, soon retiring Leader, Reboot, erected several Gobot statues in a prominent area of Legion World, calling the display Statue Park of the Gobots. Reboot's actions are in response to Kid Prime's promise to outlaw Gobots under his term of leadership, which becomes official this Thursday.

Seizing opportunity, Abin Quank moved the statue of security chief, Cobalt Kid, into the middle of the Gobot statues, hoping that the legendary poster's statue will be destroyed without anyone realizing it. Mr. Quank is notoriously fond of keeping Cobalt Kid's ego in check by attacking his statue.

Meanwhile, the newly elected deputy leader, the boy with ultra powers, has continued to go missing. Perhaps the current wave of social unrest is due, at least in part, to this unsteady exchange of leadership? We at the Comet wish Ultra Matt a swift return to Legion World, as only his beautiful face (a thus unfulfilled campaign promise) could distract us from these riotous acts.

<font size="12">Teeds Rubbing Off On Lash?</font s>

by Trysexual Girl

The recently highlighted Pictures of Members thread received two new pictures of MLLASH, sporting his new thriftshop treasures. The dashingly sextastic Lash was seen to be wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with Bert & Ernie, as well as a t-shirt featuring Spongebob Squarepants.

This thread was also lucky enough to acquire a new Loser Lad pic. It was Lou, himself, who suggested the thread be highlighted for the day. Loser smoldered for the camera, obviously intending to set the hearts of Legion World aflame.

Surely, what the thread lost in quantity, it gained in quality.

As a resident LMB historian, I can also write special articles chronicling events in LMB history (like Lou too).

I can also preview samples from my much-awaited "The Written History of the LMB" which should begin sometime soon!

And of course, I'm always willing to give quotes when you chronicle my exploits as Legion World's favorite hero.

We might need a "police blotter" column around here too, what with the property destruction and attempted kidnappings, overthrow attempts, etc.

So this thread isn't about ME then?

No, but who better to work for the LMB Comet than Comet King! You're hired!

Uh, what do you want to write?

Scathing personality assassinations please!

And, when this thread was being set up, Miss T PMed and offered me an investigative reporting job here. I informally accepted, but was unable to formally accept until my leadership officially ended.

This is my formal acceptance

Horrorscope for September 30

Libra: You'll meet and fall in love with a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, he's really your long-lost brother.

Yeah right, just cause my bro lives in LA and I haven't seen him in forever, definitely doesn't mean I'm going to fall in love with him.

The brother of the High Priestess of Avalon lives in LA?

[Joey Lawrence] Whoa! [/Joey Lawrence]

Yep, he's an artist.

Cobalt Kid, Comet King, and Reboot - it's good to have you on staff!

Please reconsider your scathing personality assassinations, Comet King. You know how sensitive I am. But I look forward to your contribution, nonetheless.

If CK's promising to assassinate scathing personalities, I say we hire him!

<font size="12">FUTURE LATEST RECIPIENT OF LEGION WORLD STATUE!</font s>
by Eryk Davis Ester, Editor-in-Chief

In conjunction with the innauguration of new Legion World leader Kid Prime, a new statue of LMBer Future was unveiled today.

The statue is the latest in a monthly series honoring LMBers who have proven themselves worthy through their important contributions to the LMB and to Legion World. In addition to his general contributions to threads on a variety of topics in a number of forums, Future's recent creation of the LMB Bumper Stickers were cited as a particular reason for his being receiving this honor.

Legendary poster Cobalt Kid, the first LMBer to receive a statue on Legion World, gave one of his traditional speeches at the special unveiling ceremony. Cobalt Kid said of the subject of the latest statue, "Future came from relative obscurity six months ago, and has quickly become one of the most prominent posters across the entire Legion World boards. He *always* takes his time to make sure he talks to every person he can, and he is involved in almost every fun game and serious discussion we have."

Cobalt Kid went on further to make the point that "there might be feelings that Legion World or the LMB are exclusive clubs that are hard to break into. Yet, Future proves beyond anything that this is not true--he went from someone that nobody knew a half year ago to fitting in like an old friend, acting like a leader in all discussion on this board and being someone that everyone loves talking to."

Outgoing LMB Deputy Leader said of Future that "[his] energy and enthusiasm on this board have been an inspiration."

The latest Legion World statue was funded by Statues, Buildings and Wonderous Architecture Construction Co., a company owned and operated by Eryk Davis Ester, Former Deputy Leader and Triumvir of Legion World.

Oh, he's hired. And now that I understand he's assassinating scathing personalities vs. scathing personality assassinations, it's gravy, baby! Hit the presses, Comet King!

MAGNO BALL TRANSVESTITE KEEPS LEG
Xanthu Xerox
Story by Cassius Judas

With the Magno Ball season winding down, teams are celebrating their wins and losses. The Titan Thought Provokers’, long known for their fun on and off the field, weren’t celebrating their losing season last night. They were celebrating just being alive. In a hazing ritual gone awry, team rookie Amir Renead survived a career-ending attack because of the Winathian cheerleader boots he was wearing. Yes, Winathian cheerleader boots.

As part of the hazing, Renead was forced to dress up like one of the Winathian Windbreakers’ cheerleading squad. The squad, one of the more risqué in the league, is well known for wearing short shorts (historically referred to as “Daisy Dukes”) and high hip pleather boots. While attempting to catch a flight to the team’s next game in the outlandish outfit, Renead was attacked by an assailant using a 27th century ray gun. The assailant attempted to amputate the Mango ball player’s leg. The attack failed because the ancient weapon was unable to effectively shear through the pleather boot.

Science Police have captured the assailant. Renead was attended to by the team physician before being okayed to play.

Archivists note that a similar incident occured on Earth, this very same date, in the early 21st century. No connection has yet been made.

Goodness! It sounds like a longlived serial assailant. That's it! I'm wearing pleather, today!

<font size="12">WILL HE OR WON'T HE?</font s>

<font size="8">The Boy With Ultra Powers Contemplates Stepping Down</font s>

Legion World was stunned Friday as the Boy With Ultra Powers, who hadn't been seen since before his election as Legion World Deputy Leader, and who missed his own Innauguration Ceremony on Thursday, finally showed up, only to announce that he is considering resigning his position.

Though he remarked that it was both "amazing and cool" that he'd been chosen as Deputy Leader, he cited being disconnected with Legion World and its citizens as a major factor that was weighing in on his decision. Apparently certain technological failures, of a kind unclear, would be keeping him off Legion World for the immediate future. No further details have been forthcoming.

Newly elected leader, Kid Prime, commented on The Boy With Ultra Powers' contemplated resignation that "I think resigning would be an awfully sweet thing to do (and it only proves what most of us here at LW already know about [the Boy With Ultra Powers], that [he's] a generous and awesome guy.)

One citizen of Legion World voiced dissent at the possibility of their new deputy leader's resignation, stating "Me think leader who not post make best leader of all! Make it easier for us say nasty things about [him]!"

If The Boy with Ultra Powers does indeed follow through with his resignation plans, then, according to the Bylaws of the LMB, the position of Deputy Leader would go to Portfolio Boy, who came in third in the recent election.

Er. No. I really want to slag people off! (anyone! I'm not bothered!)