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 Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
Given the mass firings today, we have numerous vacancies to be filled.
Please post what position you desire, and what your qualifications are.
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078 |
La-Z-Boy Evaluator
I have been involved with the recliner-rocker industry for over 90% of my human life-span. I have experience with both individual and occasionally, uh, team testing. I am available 24-7.
Salary Requirements
Will work for snacks and big screen TV. I work from home so per-diem and travel allowances are not necessary.
References
Archie Bunker
Martin Crane
Joey and Chandler
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator
Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
BB is hired.
Ibby is offered a probationary appointment as DMV clerk.
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078 |
On the job at this very moment!
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
I have my feet up on the desk and I'm being terribly rude. Am I doing alright?
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
I love the management here. Prompt and concise feedback.
Of course, it's concise because you're a lazy bigwig.
(How is my rudeness now? Getting better?)
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,929
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,929 |
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator
Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend That position is filled.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
Oh yeah, and when was the last time the current dictator issued an order?
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,929
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,929 |
Last edited by Power Boy; 01/13/14 07:26 AM.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
No thanks, I prefer standing up.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
No thanks, I prefer standing up. Then you are fired. Again.
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,466
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,466 |
Palace/ HQ Guard
Good for all those menial chores that no self respecting dictator, or their esteemed entourage, would wish to dirty their hands with.
Previous responsibilities
- Laughing along with the maniacal laughter of those-in-charge.
- Placing those who oppose the just hand of those-in-charge into escape-proof traps...but with a mind to the issue's cliffhanger.
- Throwing people to the floor in front of the throne/ banquet table.
- Owning a number of easy to draw guard outfits to suit all crowd scenes.
- Letting Jedi into the palace for no particular reason.
Salary
Banquet left overs and whatever those who have been vanquished by those-in-charge have left behind on their persons.
References
Ming
Jabba
Caligula
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
No thanks, I prefer standing up. Then you are fired. Again. Drat. Maybe I wouldn't have been fired if I hadn't said "thanks".
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
Travel GuideAble to plan and organize royal dictatorial official vacations for Legion World officials and leadership and LMB members. Desired SalaryFree transportation, room & board, food SkillsTake flattering photographs Able to eat almost anything Locate best places to get drunk Punch Nicely convince paparazzi not to take incriminating photographs of clients Negotiate travel discounts and free deals Sleep on any form of transportation Carry 200lbs of luggage Encyclopedic knowledge of tourist spots Strong sense of adventure Immunity to bacteria, fungi and viruses ReferencesAmelia Earhart Aron Ralston Robert Falcon Scott
Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 01/14/14 08:25 PM.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
I'm not sure, Ibby.
We will start you as an unpaid intern. You must prove your worth by going to and reviewing three places chosen by the HR Committee. All expenses incurred are entirely your own; we provide no compensation.
Your three places are:
Somalia
Fukushima
Cleveland
after you complete these, we may consider an entry-level position for you, depending on how well you do.
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,095
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,095 |
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator
Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend You may do whatever you wish to Legion World. I am already Princess of the Earth. Position Desired: Team Archer Qualifications: Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter Consistently Retconned Insanely Rich Family
Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator
Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend You may do whatever you wish to Legion World. I am already Princess of the Earth. I like your style, Emily! Ever consider an Earth and Legion World alliance?
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
I'm not sure, Ibby.
We will start you as an unpaid intern. You must prove your worth by going to and reviewing three places chosen by the HR Committee. All expenses incurred are entirely your own; we provide no compensation.
Your three places are:
Somalia
Fukushima
Cleveland
after you complete these, we may consider an entry-level position for you, depending on how well you do. No compensation?! The things I do for work. Luckily, since I can turn myself into light I incur no expenses whatsoever! Backpacking Heroes! Spotlight on SomaliaWarning: excepts for the island of stability that is the semi-autonomous Somaliland, Somalia is for all purposes a warzone. Travel WITHOUT at least 2 LMB-selected guards is NOT RECOMMENDED unless you are an LMBer with Security Clearance of at least Level 4.Recommended Destinations for Sightseers1) The Zeila Coast Close to the Djibouti border, Zeila is an ancient city that was once a center of Islam for the region. Today, visitors can see ruins from the Muslim Sultanate of Adal, and enjoy coral reefs, mangroves and quiet islands. 2) Hargeisa Located in relatively stable Somaliland, visitors to Hargeisa will be pleased to be provided free security by the government. Visitors can appreciate history via the rock art in the Laas Gaal complex of caves, look for wildlife such as gazelles and wildebeest in the Shiekh and Daalo mountains, and take a refreshing dip in the Red Sea. 3) Gedo Located in the heart of Southern Somalia, the lucky traveler will feel like he or she is a world away from the fighting and violence in the rest of the country. Rocky mountains, green forests, flood plains and large grazing land are spread out as far as the eye can see. Oryx, giraffes and ostriches are just some of the animals you can see in their natural habitat. Recommended Destinations for Adrenaline Seekers and Trainee LMBers1) Mogadishu One of the most dangerous cities in the world, and perfect for those wanting to improve their urban survival skills. Although the government has managed to gradually assert authority and some semblance of order, bullets and rubble are still occasionally present. Perfect for those who want to build up their alertness. 2) Kismayo In the very south of the country, Kismayo is a port city with dangerous wildlife and even more dangerous humans. Journalists have been detained without charges and set free only after a few days. An escape artist's dream, Kismayo will definitely test your skills.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
Emily is hired as Official Archer.
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
Ibby's report thus far seems cribbed from Wikipedia or a similar source. I get no sense he was actually there.
FIRED!
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,466
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,466 |
Oh dear. Fired. Allow me to extend my hopes for your future as I escort you from the palace in my guard capacity...
BOOT!
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Re: Help Wanted!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,527 |
Ibby's report thus far seems cribbed from Wikipedia or a similar source. I get no sense he was actually there.
FIRED! You can't fire me! I was never even hired in the first place! And I'd send you pics but I'm invisible in all of them.
Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 01/19/14 03:20 AM.
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