Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board CANDIDATES Summer 2006 BREAKDOWN: Who's Who & What's What

500 Voters were polled for the following questions.


CANDIDATE MOST LIKELY TO HURL HIS/HER FECES IN A FIT OF ANGER


1. LARDLAD 69%

2. Ghost of Numf El 11%

3. Winema Wazzo 8%

4. Kent Shakespeare 6%

5. Actor Lad 5%

6. Calamity Monkey 1%


CANDIDATE WITH THE BEST RACK


1. LARDLAD 80%

2. Winema Wazzo 9%

3. Kent Shakespeare 5%

4. Ghost of Numf El 3%

5. Actor Lad 2%

6. Calamity Monkey 1%


CANDIDATE YOU WOULD EAT FIRST IF YOU WERE TRAPPED WITH ALL ON A BARREN ISLAND


1. LARDLAD 73%

2. Kent Shakespeare 10%

3. Actor Lad 6%

4. Ghost of Numf El 5%

5. Calamity Monkey 4%

6. Winema Wazzo 2%


MOST ARTICULATE CANDIDATE


1. Calamity Monkey 89%

2. Winema Wazzo 5%

3. Kent Shakespeare 3%

4. Actor Lad 2%

5. Ghost of Numf El 1%

6. LARDLAD 0%


Next Poll coming Soon.

Jeepers! This is enlightening, but I hope the next poll includes a question on which candidate is most likely to hurl someone else's feces in a fit of anger!

Given that feces-throwing, edibility, and niceness of rack are all qualities the LMB usually values in a leader, while articulateness isn't, it seems like LARDLAD has a strong initial lead among voters!

I find it very revealing that Winema Wazzo scored lowest among 'most you'd want to eat on a barren island'. Legion World has not forgotten her crimes against it!

I suspect a bias towards monkeys and altIDs when choosing who was to be polled...

The LMB Enquierer? Biased?

Why, that's like that time someone accused me of sleeping around!

Come to think of it... Lardlad's propensity for feces-slinging could be evidence for my longheld theory that he and Poppa Rotzi are, in reality, one and the same!

Hey! I only sling feces when I'm good and mad!

Oh, EDE...accusing me of having an alternate I.D....tssk, tssk

Heh-- I figured it was 'cause all the straight guys wouldn't want to eat the only chick on the island.

Obviously the LMB Enquirer failed to poll a fair amount of gay guys. Although Lardy *DID* come first in the "best rack" category.

Perplexing. Perplexing, indeed.

By the way, they're REAL and they're FABULOUS!!

Well, there's eating and then there's eating!

I like your thinking, Kent.

Wait a minute, am I allowed to agree with a fellow candidate?
Bugger, I'm confused now.

Maybe so, but I've got to be pretty shit-faced first. And why do you think I wear a kilt?


And why isn't there a 'Best Ass' category? I'd definitely come first in that - at least since Bevis isn't running.

Numf, I see us as natural allies against the villainy of LardLad. If you back out of the race, I'll name you as Minister of Debauchery after I win.

and if you want to be resurrected, I'll plug you into my Dead Superheroes Integrity machine - you'll be back in no time!

Villainy? Who's the frickin' Dominator? Whether it was a phase, an alt i.d. or whatever, if it barks like a dog...

As Director of External Affairs (tm), it was my duty to try to flush out Dominion spies before the election. If you'd read my confidential executive report like a responsible candidate, you'd know that.

I thought there were supposed to be additional polls? How am I supposed to rebel against the mainstream if I don't have pollsters telling me what the mainstream opinion is?

POLL for those who want to rebel and root for the underdog:

LardLad: 35 percent
Calamity monkey, Actor, Winema, Numf: 15 each
Kent: 5 percent

POLL for those who want to jump on the bandwagon:

Kent: 95 percent
Everyone else: 0.3 to 1.5 percent

Dude. it's all about public perception...kinda why retractions in the papers are always buried on the last page!

So... basically, you're endorsing me for Lucifer Lass?

No.

Read it again. Carefully.

LL says she is looking to vote based on rebelling against the polls, so the first poll is for her.

The second poll is for those who want to support the front-runner; so that poll is not for her.

As leader, I pledge to offer remedial reading courses in the near future for those so obviously in need.

oh-kaaaaaay.

Hmmm...gotta wonder where you get your info though. I'd say if activity on the campaign threads are a guage, then I've got the edge!

Riiiiight..... That's the deciding factor. Go on believing that, amigo.

Or should I say, Deputy Amigo.

BTW, "Vote LARD (or if not, just don't vote for Kent)!!" is hardly a slogan a front-runner would come up with.

Yeah, blame my campaign manager (me). He's not very good at front-runner slogans, I guess.