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Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #994972 11/29/20 08:38 AM
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I mentioned earlier that I was adopted, and that I filled out some paperwork to find out some additional information. That info did eventually arrive. I found out the name I was born with, and my biological mother's name. Then, I subscribed to Ancestry.com. I found a woman who had the right name, right age, everything fit. I did a little googling, and I found her obituary. I missed her by a couple of years.

The obit mentioned that she had a daughter, so I looked in FaceBook, and immediately found a match. So, I sent a message to this woman, who I suspected of being my biological half-sister, and she responded immediately. I asked her to confirm - that is, could she tell me anything about me that would confirm that she was indeed my half-sister. She told me my birthday, which was confirmation enough for me.

I talked to her that very night.

The thing is, I'm at a bit of a loss. I expected something. I expected biological siblings to have some sort of connection, or something in common, or something. But, there was nothing. She's just someone else that I sort of know.

I did get a few answers. I found out that my biological mother had been sent to an unwed mother's home. I asked about my biological father, but she had no answers.

That path might be at an end. She has mentioned meeting, but I'm not interested. I wanted answers, not another family. I already have a family.

I'm actually experiencing a little regret here...

Last edited by lancesrealm; 11/29/20 09:59 AM.
Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #994993 11/29/20 02:43 PM
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Hey lance, I'm sorry.

Blood ties don't always mean anything. My only sibling and I are not close at all. With my cousins, it's 50/50 - there are maybe 1 or 2 I can sort of relate to, and another 1/3 are nice, the last 2/3 I am mostly indifferent to or have trouble connecting with for various reasons - few shared interests, completely different worldviews.

Let's just say I don't miss my family, generally. I mean, they are family, but the only real connections are the shared experiences through hundreds of family birthdays and weddings.

I didn't feel truly connected to a group of people until, well, Legion World. And that was virtual. My first true in-person connections came with my best friends in high school, then later on with my Masters' degree cohort.

So yeah, don't feel bad about not having any connection. and if you're not interested in meeting, I think it's fine - just don't. Don't force it.

As for regret, I get it. Perhaps not knowing was better than knowing and not really feeling anything.

On the other hand, hopefully the knowledge means you won't wonder anymore?

Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #994994 11/29/20 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted by lancesrealm
She also said, "Do you know why I couldn't find Tammy? I was so drunk I texted everyone in the Ts except for Tammy..."


what a punchline!

many of my best friends are those I can trust to get drunk/wasted with, and we laugh it off the next day while helping each other recover.

It's nice to let lose for a bit and not have to worry about responsibilities. i mean, the body can stand it sparingly, after all.

What I remember most fondly about times I did that, was just feeling so relaxed; feeling that any worries and problems could wait until tomorrow or next week... and of course there's some feeling of closeness with those I got drunk with.

Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #995001 11/29/20 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted by lancesrealm
I was on the treatment for about a year. Hopefully the condition doesn't recur. My HSA took care of the treatment. It made a serious dent in my HSA, but that's what an HSA is for.
Good news. Glad to hear it.

Great story about "Vicki" and "Tammy"!

Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #1009217 11/06/21 08:26 AM
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And now, it's been almost exactly a decade.

I have my kids half the time, but since I live so close to my ex, they wander over pretty much whenever they want.

I have a great job. I've been talking to this one woman that I seem really compatible with.

My life is so much better than when I started this thread. I could never have imagined that.

I guess the lesson is, if things aren't going your way, just ask yourself what you can learn from it and keep trying to swim upstream to build a better life for yourself.

Thanks for all of the support I've received from everyone here!

Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #1009223 11/06/21 11:41 AM
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Lance, thanks for sharing! really glad to see things improving! and kudos on the positive attitude smile

Re: Fare thee well...
lancesrealm #1009238 11/06/21 06:15 PM
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It can be great to see the journey we have travelled. Glad it has reached a good place for you. thanks for sharing.

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