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LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES, Volume 3, Issue #64, "The Lighter Side of the Apocalypse" (22 Pages)

PAGES 1-2: Ayla & Vi

"What a sorry mess." grumbled Ayla Ranzz.

Her words were an understatement as they described all she could survey from atop the formerly awe-inspiring headquarters of the Legion of Superheroes. Now the headquarters was just one of many grey and decrepit symbols of humanity's hubris. All of the once-proud city of Metropolis had been reduced to a filthy, crumbling, vandalized ghost city. From Ayla's vantage point, she could observe the depressingly small clusters of civilians, people turning on one another unless they could arrive at their destinations with minimal human contact. Most of the other active Legionnaires were busy keeping the major looting and rioting incidents in check -- what did it say about the state of the world, that an uncontrollable plethora of petty brawls and small-time thievery could seem like the lesser of two evils?

The Magic Wars had done this. A mystical imbalance within the cosmos itself had betrayed its precariousness too late to avoid going past the point of no return. The resulting collapse had caused a massive breakdown in technology, which, in turn, had devastated the entire galaxy. But no world had taken it more to heart than the planet Earth, once the bright, bustling hub of the United Planets. And no planetary race felt more inconsolable in their impotent helplessness than humanity.

Ayla was no exception. It was only her recently flowered romantic partnership with teammate Salu Digby (affectionately known as Vi, as in the shrinking violet Salu no longer was) which kept her from removing her flight ring and jumping off the top of Legion headquarters, hopefully ending this unbearable life.

Vi was actually right next to Ayla at this moment, and, as if she could sense her aquamarine-eyed, strawberry-blond lover's deep unease, she put her arm around Ayla. That tender gesture, in turn, said more than any of the words which were being left unspoken by her, caught as they were in the filter which the normally blunt Vi had rarely used before finding herself and Ayla trapped in this awful aftermath.

Ayla's head turned. Vi now saw that her partner's beautiful eyes had welled up in tears. Without hesitating, Vi brushed away the first tear, then took Ayla's somewhat angular, yet strikingly pretty, face in her hands. Vi brought her face in front of Ayla's, and they kissed passionately. Love was, then as now, all that could ever carry humanity through its trials and tribulations.

Ann, This is so good. I love this. The first thing I'm a sucker for is anything Ayla and Vi. The second thing is anything Vi and Ayla.

Their connection in the face of devastation is beautiful.

Thank you so much, GL. That kind of positive feedback is what makes the effort that goes into writing fan fiction worthwhile.

More to come soon.

Can't wait!

You scene reminded me of LSH 34 after Earth had been destroyed and the couple trying to come to terms with what happened in that incident.

That was a beautiful scene.

Even though I have a lot of problems with LSH Volume 4, I do give the creative team full credit for developing Ayla & Vi into a believable, likeable romantic couple. Levitz seemed to lose interest very quickly, and I suspect he never took it completely seriously. TMK clearly did.

Issue #64, Page 3: Planet Bismoll

Before the Magic Wars, the unassuming natives of Bismoll were seen by most of their United Planets neighbors as harmless, quirky oddballs. They were genetically predisposed to have digestive systems of such fortitude that they could subsist on anything -- metal, plastic, dirt, toxic chemicals, what have you.

But now, the Bismollians' unique powers had become a tremendous advantage, being that they were the only United Planets world to be completely unaffected by the galaxy-wide food shortages!

The economy of Bismoll was booming, and local politician Tenzil Kem, himself a former Legionnaire, never missed an opportunity to publicly crow to civilians about how they had never had it so good.

In truth, it was a mixed blessing. For this made Bismoll a prime quarry for the bands of space-pirates which had formed in countless numbers since the end of the Magic Wars.

As a defense measure, Kem had the smart idea of anointing Taryn Loy, the only super-powered Bismollian, as their first Planetary Champion. Code-named Calorie Queen, Taryn's genetic heritage had been scientifically enhanced so that the more edibles she consumed, the stronger she became. With her long blonde hair and stunning physique, she certainly looked the part.

Now, as a particularly vicious crew of pirates -- led by none other than the ferocious Tyr, whose infamy was legend -- descended upon the surface of Bismoll, the time had come for Calorie Queen's first true challenge.

And that is exactly why I think they have endured - or more specifically the concept of a Vi/Ayla relationship in the Legion - all this time later, to the point of Levitz making it more explicit in his retro run; I think there may have been a significant fan mutiny if he hadn't.

As far as I'm concerned, TMK wrote a lot of truth into that relationship. Both ladies had gone through some serious shit and pulled themselves out, each with the other's help. And something that's true is very resonant with the readers and has a habit of sticking around over time.

Issue #64, Pages 4-6: Calorie Queen

As Tyr's battleship made its final descent onto the surface of Bismoll (from which civilians had been swiftly evacuated in a wide radius once the ship's approach was detected,) his colorful but deadly crew of savage mercenaries from a variety of alien worlds had their guns and swords and axes at the ready. Tyr himself secured his specially designed laser cannon to his arm, before kicking open the ship's hatch and unleashing the bloodcurdling roar of a born conqueror.

"AHOY." yelled an authoritative female voice in response to Tyr's pomposity. "Prepare to be boarded, you pitiful ruffians."

Before Tyr or any of his crew could pinpoint the location of Calorie Queen, it was already too late. Clad in spandex dyed green, yellow, and black (the colors of the Bismollian flag,) she swung gracefully and decisively towards the pirates, holding tight to a cable which, in turn, had been attached to the tallest building in the vicinity.

Tyr was unimpressed, saying nothing as he fired an enormous death-ray beam from his signature weapon. The beam cut through the cable like it was cheap string, but by then Calorie Queen had let go, allowing the kinetic momentum to carry her towards the ship, atop which she landed on her feet.

"Get her!" growled Tyr, as the nearest crewmen rushed Calorie Queen. One of them, a bipedal reptilian behemoth, swung his large sword at her, only for Calorie Queen to stop the blade with her bare hands, break off the blade's sharp tip, and eat it with a satisfied crunch. The resultant boost to her already considerable strength guided her fist, as she swung it in a clean arc, easily knocking out her opponent.

Calorie Queen's reflexes were sharp enough that she didn't miss a beat fighting back against the pirates who had surrounded her in a circle. She effortlessly lifted up an imposing purple muscleman with a squid-like face, flipping him once in the air before catching him by the tentacles and swinging him around like a living weapon. One by one, the pirates fell before her.

By this time, Tyr had climbed to the top of the ship and snuck behind Calorie Queen, hoping to get the jump on her. No such luck. Calorie Queen spun around and leaped at Tyr, her outstretched foot connecting with his solar plexus to knock him clear off the ship. She couldn't help but feel a bit smug as he tumbled to the ground.

"Do you surrender?" she screamed at the pirates.

Like the cowards they were, they tossed aside their weapons and got on their knees. But before Calorie Queen could get overconfident, she saw a glint of light out of the corner of her eye. She had already been briefed that Tyr's special hand-cannon actually housed an artificial intelligence, and was capable of detaching itself from Tyr, flying independent of the pirate king, and even capable of talking in a echoing voice.

With a magnificent backflip, Calorie Queen dodged the cannon's blast, which, in turn, hit the ship's turbines and caused an explosion which set the ship on fire. In a series of leaps, jumps, and skips, Calorie Queen disembarked from the inferno as the pirates panicked.

As she had expected, the flying cannon was following her. "You cannot escape!" declared the cannon. "Come and get me." replied Calorie Queen defiantly.

The cannon swooped directly at Calorie Queen, on for her to catch it with the same ease she had previously caught the blade of the sword. She then, quite literally, put the bite on the cannon, something which did not compute with its programming, but which left the cannon with no recourse other than becoming alarmed.

"NOOOOOO." yelled the cannon. "I cannot abide the indignity of ending up as food for a humanoid!" But it was too late, and the cannon quickly went silent amid sputtering static and flying sparks.

"Finger lickin' good!" declared Calorie Queen.

But the battle was not yet won, for Tyr had been wounded but not killed in his fall, and this time he did get the drop on Calorie Queen.

The two opponents pounded on each other fiercely for what appeared an eternity. Yet as the media moved in to cover the event in progress, it became clear that Calorie Queen had rallied. She quickly confirmed this when her tremendous right hook sent Tyr flying backwards into the face of a partially destroyed building, which in turn crumbled on top of him.

As Calorie Queen caught her breath, she saw none other than her patron, Tenzil Kem, rush toward her with a microphone.

"Isn't she magnificent, folks?" Tenzil said, looking towards the camera for a moment before turning to face Calorie Queen. "Congratulations are in order, your...uh...champion-ness! You've saved the planet. What are you going to reward yourself with?"

Calorie Queen fixed the camera with an expression of beaming satisfaction, and announced, "I'm going to VENTURA."

Issue #64, PAGE 7: Dawnstar

She had lost track of time. It may have only been a minute since she saw what she saw, it may have been as much as an hour. But Dawnstar just couldn't tear herself away from the disturbing sight in front of her.

Her teammate, Drake "Wildfire" Burroughs, had been even moodier than usual of late. He had been hit hard by the loss of Quislet, the inter-dimensional energy imp who had helped Drake build a simulation of a real body. But even if Quislet had still been around to help him literally keep himself together, Drake would still have been troubled by the fact that he had accidentally burned Dawnstar when they touched. This, in turn, had left Dawnstar more ambivalent than ever about the status of her relationship with Drake.

So it was that when she had knocked on the door of Drake's room at Legion Headquarters and he had not answered, she had used a digital override code to force open the door.

And there it lay in plain sight: Drake's empty containment suit, flopped on the floor and twisted around every which way. What Dawnstar found particularly disturbing was that her heightened senses -- which were essential to her tracking abilities -- could not detect any traces of Drake's unique energy signature. Both the room and the surrounding corridor were completely, antiseptically empty.

Which, to Dawnstar, meant only one thing: wherever, and in what form, Drake was, he did not want to be found. By anyone. Not even by Dawnstar.

That Calorie Queen fight was wicked fun and very cinematic! Lots of great visuals in that scene!

Did you come up with the Bismollian flag colors? I like that they're Matter-Eater Lad's classic palette!

Bismollians rarely ever get their due, but there's something to be said for being able to just eat your big scary bad guy's unique weapon

Thank you, Raz. Having wanted in my younger days to be a filmmaker, your comments have made me very happy.

And, yeah, I figured if Matter-Eater Lad stuck to those colors for his entire Legion career, they must have some kind of meaning on Bismoll.

Lots more Calorie Queen to come in future issues.

I had this fun mental image akin to Time Bandits or the Adventures of Baron Munchausen while reading the upheaval of the pirate ship. Super fun read, there. :-)

Thanks, GL. Those are both excellent movies, especially "Time Bandits."

Btw, the bit about Calorie Queen swinging from the cable owes as much to Star Wars Episode Four as it does to Peter David & Gary Frank's witty homage to that scene in the Incredible Hulk, where Atalanta escapes the Troyjans using that method and quips, "Eat your heart out, Mark Hammill."

ISSUE #64, PAGE 8: Ayla, Vi, and Jeckie

"You can't be serious!" exclaimed Vi as she and Ayla -- both now inside Legion Headquarters -- walked towards the edifice's hub, known colloquially as the Mission Monitor Board.

"I've never been more serious." replied Ayla. "There's nothing but trouble here on Earth. Let's quit the team, fly to the stars, and find a different kind of trouble. One that's easier to cope with."

"Honey-locks," said Vi in a softer tone, "you can't run away from your destiny. And I'm speaking from my own experiences."

Before Ayla could answer, they had already entered the Mission Monitor Board and received a surprise greeting from the current team leader, Sensor Girl.

"Ah, your arrival couldn't be more fortuitous, my dears!" Sensor Girl stated purposefully.

"What's up, Your Majesty?" asked a less-than-thrilled Ayla, poking fun at Sensor Girl's sometime status as Queen of Planet Orando.

"We have ourselves a crisis situation at Warehouse X-38!" was Sensor Girl's crisp response. "We've already got a squad of Legionnaires in the field, but they're dealing with a particularly vicious band of Sklarians, and they've called for reinforcements."

"That would be us." sighed Ayla.

"Look at it this way," said Vi, forcing a grin, "it'll keep us out of trouble."

"Or get us in deeper." grumbled Ayla.

ISSUE #64, PAGES 9-12: Ayla, Vi, Thom, Brin, Dirk, Jo

Propelled by their flight rings, Ayla & Vi were closing in on the scene of the violent confrontation between the Legionnaires and the Sklarians. As they came closer, the two reinforcement Legionnaires saw more clearly who had preceded them and why the situation was what it was.

"Typical Jeckie," sneered Ayla, "the Man-Haters attack, so she sends in the Testosterone Squad. No wonder it escalated into this."

"I'm gonna try a sneak attack." said Vi, changing the subject. "Cover me."

Ayla obediently began blasting lightning bolts at the fierce Sklarians, who responded with laser gunfire. She easily dodged their shots, but worried she might not be able to keep it up much longer unless Vi put her plan into action ASAP.

She needn't have worried. Vi had cleverly shrunk to insect size, so as to place herself within the defensive semi-circle of Sklarians, in the place where she could do the most harm. Ayla smiled as she saw her partner regrow to full height and begin taking down the Sklarians with martial arts. This was Ayla's cue to eagerly join the fray. She was not as well-trained a fighter as Vi, but her fist-flying charge achieved more than desirable results.

Then, suddenly, the Sklarians played their wild card, as a feral girl exited their ship and pounced on the startled Vi. My gods, thought Ayla, she can't be more than ten years old! For all that, it quickly became all-too-clear that the child was every bit as good a fighter as Vi. Within seconds, Vi and the child were locked in a wrestling hold, one which had Vi at a distinct disadvantage. The feral child seized the opportunity and began twisting Vi's arm.

Ayla was at a loss what to do. The combatants were too close together for Ayla to get a clear shot at the feral girl, but if she didn't act soon, the feral girl might cause serious harm to Vi. Biting her lip, Ayla hoped that if she directed a mild-intensity lightning bolt right at both of them, they'd only absorb enough shock between the two of them to be stunned unconscious.

And that's exactly how it turned out.

But the surprises weren't over. The Sklarians' leader signaled for a retreat. Ayla and the male Legionnaires didn't hesitate to rush the Sklarians' ship, yet they still could not prevent their enemies from escaping into the sky.

As Ayla surveyed the aftermath of the battle, she wasn't sure which development made her angrier -- that the feral girl had injured Vi, that Ayla had had to resort to excessive force, or that the Sklarians would be so heartlessly disloyal as to leave the child for dead.

That was cool! So Ayla zapped Vi? She took "Cover me" to literally! And who's the girl?

Fun read so far! I didn't think we were gonna jump to the action so suddenly!

Thanks muchly, GL.

The feral girl is, I'll freely admit, my attempt to "Do My Own Kono," hopefully with better results (if you look in the Legion Re-Reads Volume 26 thread, you'll see exactly what I think of the Canon version of Kono.)

I was wondering if Kono was somewhere in the mix there. I wasn't very impressed by the original or reboot versions of the character, IIRC, although I am just at the point where she was introduced in my Re-boot re-read.

ISSUE #64, PAGE 13: Tinya & Luornu

A week had passed since the Legion's battle against the Sklarians. Now Tinya Wazzo was in her Legion Headquarters room preparing for the first team conference since the end of the Magic Wars which would include all active members.

With its pink walls and hyper-feminine d?cor, Tinya's room reflected her outgoing, ingratiating personality. It was, for her and anyone else she allowed inside, a sanctuary from the glum, grey realities of the outside world.

As Tinya primped cheerfully in front of a large mirror, Luornu Durgo-Taine sat quietly on the other side of the room. She was not an active member of the Legion, but she had recently sought out Tinya's help with a cosmetic problem: namely, restoring the hair Luornu had stupidly chopped off at the last second before joining her fellow conspirators in an even stupider revenge battle against the Time Trapper. Luornu had regretted her aesthetic faux pas as quickly as she had committed it, although far more serious and deadly issues (including the loss of her only remaining duplicate body) had taken precedence. Now she was finally ready to use the hair-restoring device which she had seen Tinya lend to Tasmia Mallor a couple years before.

A loud pinging sound informed Luronu that the hair-resotration cycle was complete. Tinya heard the ping as well, and rushed over to help Luornu remove the device.

"I don't know about this." said Luornu softly. "Isn't it awfully frivolous and self-indulgent, considering the state of the galaxy? I mean, we could be doing more practical, more productive things right now."

"Oh, pish tosh!" chirped Tinya. "If we didn't allow ourselves the odd moment of pure fun, we'd go insane!"

Luornu wasn't entirely surprised by the immediate results, as they matched Tasmia's appearance after first removing the device -- Luornu's hair was long again, yes, but it was exploding wildly in all directions. Not quite as ugly as her ill-judged crop, but not much of an improvement, either.

Tinya seemed to read Luornu's thoughts, because she promptly piped up again with words of comfort: "Don't worry, all it needs is a bit of taming. That's what I'm here for."

"Th-thanks." replied Luornu hesitantly. "But...uh...no pigtails, okay?"

Tinya laughed heartily at Luornu's quip, which made Luornu feel better. As Tinya worked magic with her expensive brushes, Luornu finally began to relax.

Nicely done, Annfie! Good mix of action and personal moments.

Ayla wanting to run away is a clever callback to her earlier quitting of the Legion just after the GDS. While Vi's own growth is more evident here, and indeed Vi went through more than Ayla did...

I thought the feral child might have been Catspaw myself!

Tinya's outgoing and fun personality vs. Lu's guilt at fixing her hair, another well done one. (also a call-back to Tasmia using the hair device earlier, I recognize it from the issue where Polar Boy etc. joined).

I'm happy we will get to see Jeckie's term as leader more. It felt too short way back then in the original Magic Wars.

And the Calorie Queen scene was epic! I always thought she had potential, thanks for bringing her in!

hahaha I love the callback to Shadow Lass's magic hair helmet from that tryout issue..."no pigtails" and the idea of Lu with an unruly mane of hair made me chuckle too (not everyone can pull it off like Tasmia)

I liked Luornu's hair short and felt like it suited the harsher personality Levitz was giving her, but I love that you used the hair thing as a way of showing the friendship that she and Tinya should share given that they were the Legion's first recruits together

Thanks, Ibby.


I was hoping somebody would mention that. .


Agreed.


Although I've never been a Catspaw fan, I do know she has her admirers here at Legion World. I'm generally not fond of werewolves (or were-cats, as it were,) except for Marvel's Rahne Sinclair. So, who knows, maybe I'll bring in Catspaw at some point after all. Every team needs a character like Rahne Sinclair, in my opinion.


Thanks. Yeah, Baxter Legion #14, one of the all-time greatest done-in-one Legion issues!


Jeckie's a good challenge for me, since I dislike so many things about her. I'm trying to find the shades of gray in her, hopefully I'll succeed. I was able to with Rokk in "To Think Like a God."


Wow. That's three enthusiastic responses to Calorie Queen in a row! Thanks to the overwhelmingly positive feedback from you, GL, and Raz, I've decided to move up Cal's spotlight issue from #66 to #65.


Thank you, Raz.

I'm glad you brought up the harsher aspects of Lu's complicated personality. I will be addressing them soon. In issue #66 as a matter of fact. And before #66, she's also going to feature heavily in Annual #5 (a hint: Legion Academy.)

Also, there's a wonderful thread about something else you broached: Lu and Tinya as the first two non-founding Legionnaires;

http://legionworld.net/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=19619

ISSUE #64, PAGE 14: Brin, Blok, and Tellus

As Sensor Girl's deputy leader, Timber Wolf had more than his share of boring tasks, including the one he was now performing. Namely, guarding the door to Sensor Girl's private quarters, so as to not spoil the morale-boosting surprise she had planned for the team conference -- which was now just minutes away from being called to order.

He was stoic about it, but then he was stoic about nearly everything -- the very definition of taciturn. Something which had netted him very few friends among his teammates. The most notable exception was Blok, the gentle giant with a seemingly endless supply of curiosity about the world around him, coupled with a naivete which appeared to have barely diminished in all the time Blok had been a Legionnaire.

Now they were both guarding the door, outwardly uncomplaining but inwardly wishing something would relieve the boredom.

That something came ambling down the corridor, in the person of Tellus from the aquatic planet Hykranius. A curious-looking sentient, somewhat resembling a large fish with mammalian limbs topped by large paws, he had always been something of an outsider even among the tolerant humanoids of the Legion. Tellus had also been badly shaken by several recent experiences, the loss of his teammate and friend Quislet being only the tip of the iceberg. So what Tellus began saying telepathically to Brin and Blok at this moment did not come entirely as a surprise to them.

"I have tendered my resignation to the Legion," Tellus reported, "and have already informed Sensor Girl that I wish to make my exit as quiet as possible. So it is that I shall not be attending the conference, although she will announce it once I have already departed."

"You shall certainly be missed." replied Blok in his cavernously deep voice. "What shall you do now?"

"Thank you, Blok. I have always sensed that you and I have much in common, and only wish we had gotten better acquainted. Regarding your question, I am simply returning to the embrace of Great Mother Ocean on my homeworld of Hykraius."

"It is good to have a home to return to." said Blok rather wistfully.

"And Timber Wolf," said Tellus, turning to face Brin, "I was never close to you either, but I do not need my telepathic powers to sense a great nobility and integrity within you. It has been an honor to serve in the Legion, by the side of you and all the others."

"Thanks." replied Brin, showing the barest hint of a smile. Which was the friendliest that almost anyone could expect out of him. Tellus sensed this, too, and did not take it to heart.

"Farewell, Tellus," Blok intoned as his former teammate continued on his way, "it is a pity you shall miss the return to the Legion of..."

"QUIET, gravel-brains!" barked Brin. "We're not supposed to spoil it for anyone."

"But, Timber Wolf," said Blok, "Tellus is no longer a member and shall not be attending the..."

Brin's weary growl told Blok everything he needed to know that the discussion would go no further.

I enjoy seeing Tinya without Jo. I will state on record that I have PTSD from all the Tinya/Jo codependence crap that I was exposed to during the reboot (one of the big negatives of that era IMO), so any time she's off doing something else with somebody else - I dig it.

Timber Wolf as a leader or deputy leader always makes me smile, as I always feel like he'd be the last person people would want in that job.

LOL

I enjoy seeing anyone without Jo. The Preboot version, that is. Blame all the TMK retcons.

As for Brin, that was something I "inherited" from Levitz, and I'm trying to make the best of it. I do like Brin, though -- what Tellus said to him was sort of a naive, broad-stroked way of telling Brin that he has the potential to become a better man.