Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Uncle Lash...of Space!

Do you have questions about the important things in life? Are you constantly puzzled by your place and purpose? Do you wonder how your straight-haired friends constantly have gorgeous waves of amber grain?

If so, Uncle Lash has the answer!

One reader asks:

"Uncle Lash, I noticed that all my friends went to a party last Friday night and I wasn't invited. Was that a snub?"

Uncle Lash: "No Dear, that wasn't a snub. They were just trying to give you time to trim your big toe hair. Finish the job and once again YOU will be the life of the party! Hows my hair look?"

Another reader asks:

"Uncle Lash, I bought all the Sandman paperbacks because I thought it would make me hip. I hated them, I'm broke, and I'm still not hip. What do I do?"

Uncle Lash says: "Child, read the Legion of Super-Heroes instead. You'll be glad you did. And hipness don't mean diddly."

Yet another reader asks:

"Uncle Lash, I don't know where I stand. How do I figure it out?"

Uncle Lash says: "See them two things attached to your legs? Them's your feet. Wherever they are at any given moment, that's where you stand."

"Dear Uncle Lash...

I am constantly told that my hair looks like something from the 1970's, you know, the Farrah. What should I do?

Signed, To Young To Be A Fuddy Duddy!"

"Dear Too Young...I don't see the problem. Signed, Uncle Lash."

One reader ( and I can just tell this reader drinks "socially" by hiding in the closet during swing parties and guzzlin' Mad Dog 20/20 while listening to Petula) asks...

"Uncle Lash, everytime my boyfriend and I engage in connubial bliss, the most foul odor permeates the house. What could this be? Signed, Funky in Franklin!"

"Dear Funky, Eau d'nookie shouldn't linger like a homeless person gone tits up in an ally. Mayhaps one should take a little extra moments to freshen prior to said rendezvous. Or light some candles and spritz some scent around. Try Vanilla Caramel Lavender Moonlight Linen....j'adore it! Signed, Unleaven in Levenworth!

"Dear Uncle Lash, every time I turn around, my pedal extremities are missing. How is this possible? Signed.. De feeted in Durla."

"Dear Pro...um, De Feeted, every week. Every WEEK! You ask the same question every week. You...are really getting on my tits! But, I love you anyway. You are Durlan, Dear De Feeted. Learn to live with it. And have a Mimosa."

"Anyone have a mirror?"

"Dear Uncle Lash...Why? Sincerely, Frightful Freda."

"Because, Dear Heart, they know they aren't as fantabulous as you are. Love ya muffins, Uncle Space Lash!"

I started this thread in honor of a dear friend to all of us, Michael Lash. And the few posts I made proved to me one thing, he was unique. I tried my best to imitate his voice, and I just couldn't bring to it the sense of joy and fun that was innate to him. But, I'm honestly glad I did this. Hits me at odd times, for reasons I never always get, but I miss my friend.

That’s sweet, Rick. Lash had a unique flair to him, and he was one of the folks I really felt comfy getting advice from. I think he made everyone feel welcome.

We’re all unique, we all have our own gifts. So do you, my friend! You have your own unique special voice.

I’m glad we have all the old posts that we can reread over and over again