Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business The Ongoing LMBP Tag Team Thread (rated PG13)

"I've got £4.50 in my sporran if that'll help? I was saving up for a crate of Tennents Lager, but if it's going to help save the world then I'll gladly hand it over," said Numf.

"See, I told you he was a daft bastard," said Sonnie.

"So, where's Domestos Gordon when we need him to save the world?" asked Numf.

"That's Flash," added Miss Terious.

"Well, you're better with domestic cleaning products than I am," said Numf, milliseconds before receiving his well earned clip round the lug'ole.

"No, you well-hung lummox! In my vision I saw that the only way to divert the bomb's attack on Legion World is for someone to manipulate the bomb's large side-mounted lever.

It will require intense personal muscular control to maneuver such a large lever.

Who's up for the challenge?," asks Miss Terious

“Let me come with you. I’ll give you a hand – at least I’ll help you if you need me to. I’d heard that you’re the expert lever puller around here. And it’s been said that you’re not adverse to giving it a right good tug if it’s hard,” said Numf. “That’s right, isn’t it Cobie?”

Cobie blushed. He had forgotten that Numf doesn’t understand single, let alone double entendres.

We'll take my ship! Though it's a 2-seater, it's the fastest ship available! With Sonnie piloting, I alternate sitting on the laps of both Cobie and Numf - all the while flexing my muscles for the task at hand!

There is a somber tone aboard the ship. If we fail, Legion World becomes sterile but the bomb's unique radiation could still mutate us - new powers or gross defects - too many factors to calculate!

"Look, everyone, I see the sex bomb" says Miss T!

**Quaalude**

Elsewhere in the space/time continuum Eddie Tor looks down from on high and smiles. His attention had been drawn elsewhere (a different elsewhere, not the elsewhere he currently occupies) for the past few months as he struggled mightily with strange and bizarre concepts that had invaded his personal version of reality. But now, just as it seemed that those concepts have been brought under control (or at least held at bay temporarily) a new batch of story threads have appeared in the “On-Going Adventures of the LMBP” (well, okay. One new story thread but he has new hope) the smile broadens and deepens as his intercom lights begin flashing.

“Trixie, pull up yer panties and gets yer woithless butt in here! We gots woik ta do!”

**Quaalude Wears Off**

Sonnie looked at his omni-com and saw that two LMBers, the Green Lantern Abin Quank and the Emerald Empress were already on the scene.

Using his power ring, Abin quickly attempted to hurl the sex-bomb into the atmosphere! "We'll send to some nasty alien's planet!" he said matter-of-factly.

"Not today LMBers!" yelled a voice! "You'll have to go through us first!"

Abin and EE turned to see none other than...

The Original Statue of Cobalt Kid!!! And behind that living statue are arrayed a veritible multitude of LMBP Enemies, such as Climacticus, Vaginimus, Anti-Lad, Giant Robotic Lesbian, Dr. Pornus, and on and on and on...

Abin makes a wry face and mutters to EE "This is gonna be sooooo much fun..."

Meanwhile back at the LMBP Ranch...

...Stoopid Cat and Fat Cramer were having fun putting shaving cream on Invisible Brainiac's hand and then tickling his face with a feather.

Suddenly, the LMB Code Red alarm went off!

"Should we answer that SC?" said Fat Cramer.

"Feh. Let the humans take care of it, sis. They always seem to get be so uptight anyway..."

"I don't think so my friends," said a weary voice. The two felines looked to see...Lightning Lad!

"I've got bad news," said LL. "It's Saturn Girl. She's gone evil! She and another LMB have joined the bad guys..."

"Which one?!" said Fat Cramer, going into Satan Claws mode.

LL looked up and replied, "None other than..."

I'm confused. What happened to me, Numf, Cobie, and Sonnie in the rocket ship?

**Quaalude**

Eddie Tor, sensing Miss T's confusion decides to set things right...

Trixie, get dat new writer, Miss Terious on da phone and explin da rules o dis tread ta her.

Foist off, dis tread is a multiplicity of stories tread. just cause seberal tings semms ta be happining all kinda at once don't mean dat wat was happenin before has stopped happinin, it just means dat it's happenin behind da scenes now an ya jes needs ta write da new scenes ta bring it back to da front.

Issat all clearer now lil' Missy?

**Quaalude Wears Off**

LL looked up and replied, "None other than our Chief of Security - Cobalt Kid!!""

Fat Cramers bottom jaw dropped in surprise.
Stoopid Cat let out a long, forced, gag-worthy, squeaky fart.

"As if!" said Scat Cat, Stoopids litter mate, who had a very bad habit of forgetting where the cat litter was located.

"No, seriously - Sonnie, Numf and Miss Terious are in grave danger!" said LL.

"Nah - don't believe you. Not Cobie," said Stoopid Cat.

"Well, not the real one of course," confirmed LL, "because we just found the real one in a broom cupboard, sucking on a drug filled orange, tied and bound, wearing only womans underwear, and a broom handle inserted up his ass."

"Yeah, so just leave him to get on with it then!" said Scat Cat. "Each to their own. Respect the fact that he's just doing his own thing, you know?"

"Yeah, I agree," said Stoopid, "but then who's that whose dick is being bounced up and down on by Miss Terious?"

"Well," said LL, "we believe it's actually none other than....."

...Kent Shakespeare!

Noticing that everyone looked dumbfounded by her outburst, Miss Terious explains,

"Cobie, your lap ladder feels very un-Cobie like."

(grinding furiously to be sure)

"But it does remind me of Legion Worlder, Kent Shakespeare! He has directed me in several External Affairs (tm) and I'm sure I'd recognize his crotch rocket anywhere!"

The ship lurches forward uncontrollably: "Keep it together, Sonnie!"

Kent Shakespeare's distorter malfunctions and the Cobalt Kid ruse is revealed.

All eyes are on Kent Shakespeare as Miss Terious asks:

"Where's the real Cobalt Kid and what did you plan to do to..."

Miss T. wakes up, everything that has transpired since her first post in this thread has been a dream. A fatal premonition for all of Legion World.

Immediately, she begins dressing. I must locate Cobalt Kid and Kent and find out what this all means.

If what I foresaw is true, then the fate of Legion World rests in the hands of...

AAAAAW!!!


( )

If what I foresaw is true, then the fate of Legion World rests in the hands of...

KoKo and Jinx!

Flustered by the sheer enormity of her latest dream (as well as the premonition of impending disaster that appeared as commercials within that dream) she is about to go out the door of her Large Southern Mansion, when she realizes that she's put her SHAKES Thong on outside of her Skin tight silver bodysuit.

"Oh, you doomed old woman, you! This will never do..." She mutters to herself, realizing that if she is seen in public in such a condition, all the Kewl Kids down at Legion World High School and Community College will immediately follow her lead and begin wearing their "Unmentionables" on the outside, (and that a good number of them don't have either the Body, or the proper unmentionables, fo' such a daring fashion stunt!)

She quickly ducks back into the Large Southern Mansion and runs (in a proper Mistress of a Large Southern Mansion lady-like fashion) up the three flights of stairs to her smaller dressing room. Once there she begins to dress in a more appropriate fashion for her upcoming meeting (and Grand Revelation) only to find...

[interlude]

Pov ~

Abin ~

[/interlude]

meanwhile back at (well where ever because I cant be bothered to re read the entire thread)

KoKo is sitting at an open window indulging in his favorite pastime.

"Koko" said a stern, imperious voice, "stop throwing monkey faeces out of the window and trying to hit Cobalt Kids statue, come I have need of you and Jinx, the time is near, the doom you were put on this messge board to fulfill is nigh"

"koko?" said koko sorrowfully "Koko koko, KOko koKo ko ko koko" and with a forlorn last toss at Cobalts Statue he turned and held out his hand to the shadowy figure.

"It is for the best little one, come"


and there is a flash of light and the two disappear.

from within a discarded pile of monkey poop a voice says,

"OH my Goddess, so thats who is behind all this, I must warn the LMBP" and from out of the pile of poop steps.......