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 Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
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by moi!
THE SETUP
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, it was a dark and stormy night... well, to be fair, it was only about 18ish years ago, which I suppose is a long time depending on how you look at it. If one is sentenced to 18 YEARS in prison, it can seem like an eon. If one is given 18 YEARS to live, I suppose it could seem rather short.
Anyhoo, about that galaxy-- I guess it wasn't all THAT far away... it's the same galaxy the LMB inhabits.
But it definitely WAS a dark and stormy night! Well, it was certainly sprinkling at the very least! Actually, to be honest, it was more foggy than anything else.
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Many legends are written and stories told about the eve the two greatest heroes of the planet Testus were born...
Well, to be more accurate, this is the only story ever told about it to the best of my knowledge... and it isn't a very good one either.
And as far as being the "two greatest heroes of the planet Testus" goes... well I'm pretty sure Orphan-Adopter Lass and Feeds-Poor-Folks-Pete might disagree with that.
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Cousins, they were. The lad named Aristotle and the lass named Trish.
Cousins who strayed too far from home on their space-bikes! Cousins who had no choice but to seek shelter from the dense fog by entering a spooky, eerie cave! Cousins who, once inside the cave, wasted no time in playing "Doctor"!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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STUFF HAPPENS
Clumsily groping each other as teenage cousins are wont to do, Aristotle and Trish were said to have heard an unearthly voice in the cave!
By the way, this isn't meant to imply that ALL cousins play "Doctor". But you know how it is when teens get together with their raging hormones and whatnot... sometimes this kind of exploration and curiosity is relatively harmless... as it was in the case of Ari (which he preferred to be called) and Trish.
And that "unearthly" voice? I think it really should be called an untestusly voice. This story doesn't even take PLACE on earth!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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So anyhoo, the untestusly voice rang out:
You have been chosen, chosen chosen!
Ari and Trish jumped up and quickly buttoned their shirts. "Who--- who's THERE?" Trish called out.
And there before Ari and Trish appeared 3 bug-eyed alien thingies.
"GaaaHHH!" Ari cried out, panicked.
You have nothing to fear from us. You have been chosen to be our Champions!
"What ARE you?" Trish asked.
We are-- the Cosmic Eunuch Galaxy Gaurdians of planet OHNO!
"ummm... okay." Ari replied.
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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The Cosmic Eunuch Galaxy Guardians of planet OHNO went on to explain to Ari & Trish that they, like other members of the Space Eunuchs Corps, would be granted powers to protect and serve their sector of the galaxy!
They had been chosen to become champions becasue of the fearlessness they had displayed!
Acutally, I heard that it was just dumb luck on Ari & Trish's part... those bug-eyed alien thingies were gonna pick whoever wandered into that cave next to be their champion of the Testus sector.
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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THE TOE-CURLING CONCLUSION
Ari and Trish vaguely remembered stumbling out of the cave and riding their space-bikes home. But they remembered what happened next with razor-sharp accuracy!
Ari found he could disintegrate the male sex organ in any male sentient with but a thought! And believe me-- you don't wanna hear about HOW he discovered this ability... it ain't a pretty story!
Meanwhile, Trish got the better end of the bargain, as she gained super-strength in her legs, which she found useful for a variety of purposes.
But ultimately, she decided to concentrate on one particular move with her new-found powers in honor of the freaky creeps who gave the powers to her!
And thus-- Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass were born!
Well, actually, they were born several years ago, but you get my drift....
The End
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,971
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,971 |
Wierd!!!But funny as hell...  Good One MLLashie.
Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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I want "Weird but funny as hell" placed on my tombstone!
XXXs Abin! Glad you liked it!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,666
Deputy
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Deputy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,666 |
Another quality tale there Lashie...
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
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"quality" might be pushing it Sonnie but I'm just happy if you enjoyed it
XXXXs!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,454
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,454 |
oh what fun! BUt i sooooo want to hear the story of how Ari learned about his powers...
Touch the magic...
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,666
Deputy
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Deputy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,666 |
you're a glutton for punishment Danny Blaine. If it's alright with you guys I'll avoid that story....
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,454
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,454 |
I do like punishment sometimes... LOL
Touch the magic...
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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Originally posted by Danny Blaine:
oh what fun! BUt i sooooo want to hear the story of how Ari learned about his powers... Let's just say it quickly became fitting for Ari to be a member of the Space Eunuchs Corps. As I'm sure the Guardians of Ohno planned. Poor li'l guy.
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34,634
Bold Flavors
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Bold Flavors
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34,634 |
Space Eunuch Corps!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lash, this is great! Absolutely hysterical! I want-NO!, demand a part II! They're first adventure! Great stuff!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
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Posts: 33,081 |
Hmmmm. I like Ari & Trish, Cobie, so maybe so!
XXXs
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,411
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,411 |
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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OP
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I'll see what I can do, IB!
Thanks!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 33,081
Time Trapper
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OP
Time Trapper
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Maybe a tale of the entire Space Eunuchs Corps...?
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,246
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
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I want "Weird but funny as hell" placed on my tombstone!
*sniff*
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,411
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,411 |
Sigh. Lash had such a great mind.
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 29,246
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
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Man, there just aren't any penises getting eradicated here on Legion World anymore. 
Still "Lardy" to my friends!
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Re: Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass in "My origin? You're SOAKING in it!"
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,411
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 83,411 |
Which is generally a good thing. Although people looking to transition from male to female would certainly benefit from a good penis-eradicating!
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