Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Dr. Gym'll's Cultural Rarities Oh Yeah, That Forum: The Titans An EDE Retro Review: Silver Age Titans Archives and Showcase!

Okay, so this is the first in what will be a series of reviews of the classic Teen Titans stories printed in Silver Age Teen Titans Archives, Volume One. I'm reading all of these for the first time, and will be presenting my views on each story as I read it.

We start with Brave & the Bold #54, which isn't exactly a Teen Titans story, but a teamup between Robin, Aqualad, and Kid Flash from June-July 1964, which set the stage for the later development of the Titans one year later.

THE PLOT
The town of Hatton Corners seems like this really boring place, because the biggest problem it suffers from is this "teen-age problem" , which, however, is apparently so important, it's made the national news. Now, it's not clear what this problem is, but it seems like the teen-agers just have nothing to do with their time other than hang out in a dilapidated old barn that passes for a "teen clubhouse", or playing their music too loud at the Soda Fountain, or leading the police chief on "merry chases" around town. Anyway, rather than build them a new "clubhouse" (i.e. teen center), the town's adults are busy trying to solve the problem by imposing curfews and other square measures. The teens call in Robin, Kid Flash, and Aqualad to speak on their behalf.

Anyway, if this weren't enough of a plot, there's this delusional lunatic named Brom Stikk whose brain, I would guess, has probably been addled from massive drug use, though apparently his ancestors were equally as crazy. Supposedly, his ancestor "rented" the town founders the land on which the town was built, on the conditon that they pay him one passenger pigeon feather or one "stalwart youth" to labor for him per year. So Brom comes to the town and demands the back payment of everything owed to his ancestor's descendants. The town leaders laugh at Brom's silly demands. And, of course, laughing at the the silly demands of a delusional lunatic with a drug-addled brain who comes to your small town is always a mistake.

To make a long story short, Brom, in his new identity of "Mister Twister", kidnaps all the town's teens to work for him in his slave labor camps on "Goat Island" (which is surprisingly lacking in goats!). What he really wants, however, are the passenger pigeon feathers to add to this goofy bird-feather cloak he wears. So, as he has the teens doing silly things like building a giant twister monument, he threatens to destroy the town if they don't give him his feathers, which creates a problem since the passenger pigeon has been extinct since 1913. Oh well, it's a good thing those teens had invited Robin, Aqualad, and Kid Flash to town.

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.
"No teen-ager would use the word 'music' in a hip language message... they'd use 'jive!'

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Kid Flash remarks about some girls admiring Aqualad: "They'd need gills to go on a date with him!"

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT.
Besides hiding the teens on an island, Mister Twister later floods the town, allowing Aqualad's narwhal friend to swim freely in the streets!

THE EVIDENCE OF SPEEDY'S DRUG USE DEPT.
Well, it sure is odd that Speedy isn't invited to help present the teens case alongside the other teen heroes. Maybe they didn't think having a dope fiend speak for them would help their case?

And it sure is interesting that Brom Stikk, Mr. Drug-Addled Brain himself, gains his powers from an old Indian cave... and which Titan do we know who was raised by Indians?

SUMMARY
Overall, this is a so-so story that's trying way too hard on the whole teens vs. adults issue. If that wasn't enough to tackle, there's also a whole moral thrown in about how Robin isn't useless despite his lack of super-powers.

This is the oldest comic in my collection. I bought it many years ago for something like AU$8 at an old second-hand book-shop in Perth where I grew up.

I've always quite liked it for its historical significance but it is a pretty flat story. Though I have always loved that image of Aqualad riding his narwhal through the streets of the town! I've always had a soft spot for Garth and especially his cute costume. I *so* wanted to be Aqualad more than any other hero when I was a boy!

For some reason I also have a bit of a soft spot for the cheesy villain Mister Twister! Man if that poor guy knew some of the weird transformations his character would make years down the line I bet he would've taken his stick and run home as fast as he could!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: The Brave and the Bold #60

So I decided it makes more sense to do these all in one thread rather than starting separate threads for each issue. Next we have the first official appearance of the Teen Titans, as they face "The Astounding Separated Man"!

THE PLOT
This story takes place in a town called "Midville", which strikes me as an odd name for a town on the ocean, but we all know why that's necessary. When our story opens, it's teen government day in Midville, when all of the important positions in the town are filled by teens for twenty-four hours. The boy chosen to be Teen mayor is a fellow by the name of Tommy Holmes. Tommy seems to be doing a pretty good job, but many of the adults are suspicious of him, because a) he's a teen, and b) his father is in jail.

It turns out that Tommy's father was a professor who invented a serum which turned him into the "Seperated Man", a "molecular giant that can separate into different parts". While Tommy's father intended this serum to be used for good, once turned into the Seperated Man he developed uncontrollable criminal tendencies, which eventually led to his imprisonment once he was turned to normal. But shortly after Tommy takes over as mayor, he finds out his father has broken out of jail and the Seperated Man has returned to menace Midville!

All the square adults try to use this as an excuse to discredit Tommy's teen government, so he calls the Teen Titans, which Robin had organized after the Hatton Corners caper, and together they help Tommy capture the Separated Man, who turns out not to be Tommy's father at all but instead his father's cellmate who had stolen a vial of the serum. Tommy's father had escaped prison to stop him.

THE FEMININE INSIGHT DEPT.
Wonder Girl: "I believe Tommy! No one with such sincere, blue eyes could lie!"

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Tommy's girlfriend (in response to Wondy's above remark): "Brrrrrr... Amazon or no Amazon-- if she keeps that up, I'll yank her ponytail off!"

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT.
Tommy tricks the Separated Man into thinking his "secret laboratory" is located in an abandoned lighthouse! Surfing and talking to fish ensue!

THE "I THINK I NEED TO CONSULT WITH QUISLET, ESQ. ON THIS" DEPT.
So, Tommy's dad is imprisoned for crimes he commits as the Separated Man, even though he has no control over them, and had good intentions. However, he isn't given additional time for breaking out of jail since he did it to stop the Separated Man. Huh? And why the heck did they let him keep a vial of the serum that turned him into the SM in the first place while in jail?

THE CREATIVE USE OF TEEN STEREOTYPES DEPT.
Tommy and his friends chase off a giant eavesdropping ear by playing the Beatles really loudly!

THE "COULD THIS VILLAIN BE ANYMORE CREEPY?" DEPT
As if giant floating eyeballs detached from their head weren't enough, they cry tears of fire! This could cause serious nightmares...

SUMMARY
Well, this issue was actually pretty good, though I found myself wondering what the Titans themselves actually bring to it. Tommy, his father, and unnamed girlfriend were all very interesting characters, and all the dramatic tension of the issue really revolved around them. As far as I'm concerned, this could have been their story without any Titan involvement. I'm kind of wondering if the lack of genuine development of the Titans themselves is going to be a constant problem with this series, since all of them really primarily belong to other series, and the authors can't really do much with them here. But we'll see...

Hmm. Warming to the idea of buying the SA TT Archive... we'll see if Eryk spots more cattiness and feminine intuition based on eye color in the other tales...

Just read the next issue... in it, a Titan is revealed to be gay!

Because of his eye color!!?!

No, because of his lusting after men!

Now I've got to go back and read it again!

How you could review #60 without saying Go-Bikes is beyond me, Ester.

Is it when Aqualad says "It's the Flips! Look at that Joe ride his jet-propelled surfboard...and dig his beat!"?

Even the hip slang of yesteryear seems ever so "quaint" by today's standards - its the ginchiest! The ultimate!

The Flips are so beautiful I'm going to cry.

Dig the context, cats!

And there's even more evidence of Garth's homosexuality in the next issue!

Presumably the District Attorney met his burden by showing that Prof. Holmes knew or should have known that there were unpredictable side effects to his serum and that this negated his lack of control. His "good" intentions don't count.

It is at the discretion of the DA to charge Prof. Holmes with attempted escape. And even if the DA does charge him and makes his case, the judge has the discretion to sentence him to time served.

As for letting him keep a vial of the serum with him in jail, I assume this is part of the same law in the DC and Marvel universes that give villians their super devices back when they finish serving their jail time.

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Showcase #59

THE PLOT

The Flips, that "latest singing group", which consists of a guitar player on a hovering surf board, a baton-twirling babe, and a stunt motorcyclist, are suspected of committing a jewel heist! This threatens their upcoming benefit concert in Clarkston, where they are supposed to help raise money to send a deserving student to college! The Mayor agrees to let the Flips come to town to perform their concert once the town teens call in the Teen Titans to make sure there's no trouble. The Teen Titans soon find themselves face to face with the Flips on a crime spree, or do they?

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.

At the beginning of the story, the various Titans are watching the Flips on television...

Robin: "They're the greatest! And that Jill-- she really "flips" me!"

Wonder Girl: "Ooh, that Jack-- I'd ride double with him anytime...!"

Aqualad: "Look at that Joe ride his jet-propelled surfboard... and dig his beat!"

It's really good that none of the Titans seems to be attracted to the same Flip, but poor Kid Flash doesn't seem to pair up with anyone...

Later, Aqualad chases "Wild Goofy Footer" Joe around a lake!

It's also interesting that the Titans arrive in town arm in arm, with both Kid Flash and Robin arm in arm with Wondy, but Aqualad only on Robin's arm. I get the feeling there's a bit of a crush there, as well...

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.
Robin says of Batman: "You are definitely un-round..."

THE "TURN DOWN THAT NOISE!" DEPT.
I don't really understand how anyone is supposed to hear Jack singing while he's riding around on that Honda...

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Jill: "Along came Wonder Girl/But my baton did a twirl/Wham-Bam/Alikazaaam/She landed right on her curl"

THE DEFINING ROLES WITHIN THE TEAM DEPT.
Aqualad: "C'mon, Robin, you're the brainstorm in this team... come up with something!"

<may also relate to the aforementioned crush>

THE DUMB GUARD DUTY ASSIGNMENT DEPT.

The Titans give Aqualad the task of guarding the Flips' stage props. This is the guy who can only exist out of water for one hour! And, of course, when the props are stolen, who's not around? No doubt he had to jump in a swimming pool or something!

THE NOT ALL ADULTS ARE SQUARE DEPT.

The Police Chief is maybe my favorite character in this story. "Say--- you know those kids are pretty good!"

SUMMARY
The storyline is solid, if somewhat predictable. The Flips are extremely silly as a concept, and I actually found them somewhat annoying as "singing supervillains". This is the first issue to feature the fantastic art of Nick Cardy, however.

I actually have this tale, in the TEEN TITANS 80-page Giant (all reprint stuff) that was released semi-recently.

I *loved* the scenes where the kids declare their love of the Flips, to the adults' chagrin and disbelief!

This was during Aqualad's bi-curious stage, which would end sometime before he met Tula.

In the NEXT ISSUE, the Teen Titans help rich American corporations exploit Columbian peasants and destroy their native culture!

Y'know-- I kind of liked the Separated Man and the Flips. Wonder why they were never updated and used again? They weren't really any lamer than Mr. Twister...

...now Ding Dong Daddy, on the other hand...

Can't wait for EDE's exploration of the greatness that is DDD.

Leaping mantas! Reading Aqualad and Robin scenes is like watching the Ambiguously Gay Duo!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: TEEN TITANS #1

"They just couldn't wait to start their own mag!"

THE PLOT
The Teen Titans are called to Washington to the HQ of the Peace Corps, where they are told that a Peace Corps unit in South America has run into "trouble of some sort" and specifically asked for their help. So the Titans volunteer to join the Peace Corps! Now, oddly, the Titans seem not to have time to call their respective mentors and tell them that they've volunteered, probably because they need to quickly start the intesive "orientation course" to prepare them for their work.

So during the orientation course they get this big lecture about how the job of the Peace Corps isn to help other cultures better themselves rather than turning them into "carbon copies of our way of life", and how they need to "respect the customs" and way of life of the people they are helping. So cut to "Xochatan", the area of South America that they are supposed to go to, where we find the Peace Corps volunteers aiding local native Juan Valdez (yeah, like the coffee guy) in building a dam to flood a valley in which a local pyramid-shaped temple is located. So, basically, what's going on is that they're destroying this "superstitious" (as we're constantly reminded) symbol of local culture, apparently paving the way for easier coffee exports so that one day Americans can drink their lattes at Starbucks! Oh, and they claim they're building a school, too, but they never really show any of that.

Anyway, the big emergency is that a lot of the locals no longer want to work on the dam, because they fear that the god of the temple is upset. Oddly, the god of the temple is a giant robotic conquistador. So the Titans show up and fight it. Later on, they also fight the "Beast-God of Xochatan", which appears in the form of several animals with human heads. And then they end up fighting the real villain, a rich landowner whom the peasants had rebelled against and driven into hiding in the temple, where he built atomic gadgets and giant robots. So by the end the peasants of Xochatan no longer need worry about the crazy guy developing advanced technology and weapons and can be content working to supply the Americans with coffee beans.

THE FEMININE INSIGHT DEPT.
Wondy: "Oooh! I have the funniest feeling-- like something is about to happen..."

Her woman's intuition is doubted by her fellow Titans, until confirmed by another female Peace Corps volunteer: "I feel it too! The bulldozer! Look out!"

THE GOOFY MENTOR MOMENTS DEPT.
Hippolyta: "Maybe we could get the Peace Corps to come here! This old place could use some changes!" Well, there are plenty of temples on Paradise Island for them to demolish and gods for them to offend...

Aquaman: "Say-- maybe they could use me in the Peace Corps!" Mera then chastizes him for trying to dodge his parental responsibilities...

THE SILLY USE OF KID FLASH DEPT.
When fighting El Conquistadore, Wally runs around the rim of his hat really fast!

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.
Aqualad seems awfully exicted to whirl the elongated serpent attached to Robin, stretching and stressing it until Robin feels that sense of release!

THE "I GIVE THIS VILLAGE ABOUT TWO MONTHS!" DEPT.
Robin: "But now that the pyramid's submerged completely... it can't be a threat anymore!" Well, except for the fact that it still contains advanced atomic gadgets and a beast god whose activities have been triggered by water the entire issue...

SUMMARY
I'm not really sure what to make of this issue. About half of it reads like something that might be distributed as an advertisement for the Peace Corps. Kind of a strange way for the Titans to begin their own series. The plot seems pretty disjointed and ludicrous, but there's not quite enough silliness to make it fun.

Heh. EDE's reviews are the cat's knees!

Closest Teen Titans equivalent of Legion tryouts coming up next issue!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #2

"The Million-Year Old Teen-ager!"

THE PLOT

So it's fairly well-known that the Teen Titans got most of their cases in the early days by answering calls for help from kids in trouble who either wrote them or contacted them by ham radio. What was news to me, what I learned in this issue, is that not every plea for help from kids was considered worthy of being responded to, and the Titans seem to spend a great deal of their time sitting around in their "secret lair" laughing about and making fun of requests for help they receive, in a manner somewhat similar to the Legionnaires dismissing unworthy applicants!

Anyway, this issue is motivated by a ham radio call they receive from this chick in Smedleyville, whose boyfriend is in serious trouble. Basically, he an unfrozen caveman teenager, who was found/adopted by an old farmer and has been trying to fit in at school. All the kids make fun of him because of his unfashionable clothes and because he speaks in broken caveman English, as was common a million years ago, instead of hip teen lingo. Trouble ensues when his arch-caveman enemy, a giant who had killed his entire tribe, is unfrozen as well and goes on a rampage through town. All the townspeople suspect our heroic caveboy, Garn, of being in allegiance with the bad caveman. So the Titans have to clear his name and defeat the evil caveman.

THE LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.
Penny: "You're strictly from squaresville if you don't put down the drags-- like you're cubed, but def! Now you try saying that!"

Garn: "You sure that is English, Penny? Sound very funny to Garn!"

THE SILLY USE OF WONDER GIRL DEPT.

So the Titans are hanging over a cliff, and Wonder Girl is holding on to a tree to stop them from falling, when her right hand starts to slip! So she ties her ponytail around the tree and holds them up!

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

Random teenager making fun of Garn: "Ugh! Me Garn-- you Penny! Uuuh! Me love you-- ugh!"

THE "DIDN'T WE JUST READ THIS LAST ISSUE?" DEPT.

I think villainous caveman Azzuruk pushes over a cliff the same red bulldozer that we saw pushed into a lake last issue!

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT

Crichey! We haven't had Aqualad do anything all issue! So... let's say Garn and Azzuruk are strugling and... they fall in the water!

THE DEFINING ROLES WITHIN THE TEAM DEPT.

As this issue begins, each characters role is clearly defined...

Robin-- the no nonsense down-to-business leader type!

Wonder Girl-- The fun-loving chick who likes to frug!

Kid Flash-- The jock!

Aqualad-- The artsy, bookish gay one!

SUMMARY

This issue I really liked. Just the right amount of Silver Age silliness to make it fun without the whole plot being stupid or anything. And Titans meeting unfrozen cavemen is apparently about as common the Legion being turned into tots!

Jillikers! I'm surprised to learn there was an unfrozen caveman teenager featured in the Titans prior to Gnarrk.
I wonder if Garn and Gnarrk knew each other?