Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Dr. Gym'll's Cultural Rarities Oh Yeah, That Forum: The Titans An EDE Retro Review: Silver Age Titans Archives and Showcase!

Yeah. I have to agree. There are some nice stories, but you have to wade through a lot of mediocrity to get them.

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #11

THE PLOT

So, it's still summer, and Speedy shows up in Titans lair, desperate for a summer job to help support his growing drug habit. Fortunately, the Titans have a mission that he can tag along on, as boy genius Willie Gregson, who has a summer job working for a famous scientist, has written the Titans asking for help! Even though Kid Flash thinks the kid must be a total nerd to spend his summer fooling around with test tubes, the Titans go investigate.

As it turns out, Willie is being blackmailed by crooks to steal the plans for "Project X" from Dr. Finley. So the Titans have to stop the blackmailers and fight their giant seamonster.

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.

Is it just me, or does Aqualad find every excuse he can to either ride on the backs of or give a ride on his back to his fellow Titans? Oh well, Speedy seems to really enjoy it as well.

COOL VILLAIN GADGET DEPT.
You gotta love the old telephone disguised as a fishing pole trick!

THE WEIRD FLIRTATION SCENE DEPT.

Kid Flash: "Wonder Chick, you're the most! Hey Speedy, have you got a "love arrow" in your quixotic quiver?

Speedy: "If I did, I'd use it to play Cupid for myself! She turns me on, too!"

SUMMARY

Actually quite a bit better than the previous couple of issues. I kind of like it when the Titans are taking on spies. And Speedy is actually a nice addition to the team.

New reviews coming soon!

Er... actually, did I do all of volume 1? I may have to finish those reviews first!

To prepare myself, I'm going to reread this entire thread when I get home!

TEEN TITANS #12

“Large Trouble in Space-ville!”

THE PLOT

The Titans are baffled when DJ Deejay, the first DJ in space, starts sending coded messages regarding crimes involving the stealing of famous Earth monuments over his worldwide broadcast. Investigating, they thwart a couple of attempts to steal said monuments and rescue Deejay from the aliens who are holding him prisoner and forcing him to do their bidding.

WONDER GIRL’S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.

Wonder Girl discovers Deejay’s hidden messages by noticing that his rhythm is off:

Wonder Girl: “Hear that--?”

Kid Flash: “Sounds like the same crazy chatter he always spouts, W.G.!”

Wonder Girl: “Don’t be dense, twinkletoes! Something else else’s wrong with D.J.! His chatter isn’t right—it hasn’t got his usual rhythm!”

THE “HEY, ISN’T KID FLASH SUPPOSED TO BE FROM THE MIDWEST?” DEPT.

Okay, so I get the point that he’s supposed to be the jock of the group, but shouldn’t he freakin’ know where South Dakota is?

THE CONVOLUTED VILLAIN PLOT DEPT.

So, why exactly do the villains need to broadcast coded instructions to their Earth agents over Deejay’s broadcast? Surely they have some means of communication with them that isn’t being overheard by countless teenagers all over the globe?

THE “ISN’T THAT SPACE CAPSULE WAY TOO SMALL?” DEPT.

Well, isn’t it? It doesn’t seem to me one could really hold that many records in it. And poor Deejay, having to spend days in that cramped position. But the dude I really feel sorry for is the alien whose job it is basically to float in space outside the hatch of Deejay’s space capsule and point his gun at him for several days.

SUMMARY

This issue is at least quite a bit of fun, if nothing special at the end of the day.

Sounds like some overcompensating going on here.

Jeepers! Two years since I've retro-reviewed a Titans story?

Well, good news, fanatics! Because I just read Teen Titans #13, in which the Titans battle evil recyclers!

Review coming soon!

Thanks, Rao!!! This is the best news to come out of the Titans forum since November 29, 2007!

TEEN TITANS #13

THE PLOT

One cold winter’s night the Titans are hanging around HQ reading comic books, except for Robin who just happens to be reading Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol. Well, by complete coincidence wheelchair bound Tiny Tom, whose father, Bob Ratchet, works in the junkyard owned by Ebeneezer Scrounge, contacts them asking for help. It seems that Bob Ratchet has discovered that Scrounge has secretly been selling junk imported from overseas to a gang led by Mr. Big. Mr. Big then uses some sort of ray to turn the junk into expensive new stuff that can be sold in America, thus avoiding tariffs! Bob Ratchett is afraid to go to the police, since if he loses his job he won’t be able to afford the expensive new electric wheelchair that Tiny Tom need. Anyway, this leads the Titans to concoct a scheme of recreating Dickens A Christmas Carol in order to get Scrounge to turn against Mr. Big.

THE ODD MENTOR MOMENT DEPT.

For some reason, while all the other Titans read comics featuring their mentors, Kid Flash reads a Superman comic.

THE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL DEPT.

There’s an oil spill that the crooks slide in, but Aqualad doesn’t because “He must be half eel!”

THE CONVOLUTED VILLAIN PLOT DEPT.

Okay, so you've got a device that can turn junk into stuff that's as good as new. Why not just use it on American junk, and you probably wouldn't even be doing anything illegal? Heck, if you lived forty years later, you'd be pioneers of "green technology"! I thought for awhile that maybe the way it worked is that the villains disguised imported goods as "junk", then imported them, and changed them back, but since Scrounge uses the device to change Tiny Tom's wheelchair into a better one at the end, that can't be the way it works.

THE LOOSE ENDS DEPT.

So the Titans scheme is in part inspired by the fact that they interrupt Scrounge's old partner, Jacob Farley, who has broken out of jail to get revenge on him for making him take the rap for some crooked scheme or something. At the end, Scrounge promises to do what he can to get Farley's sentence reduced. I hope somebody informs Farley of this, since he is still on the loose and planning on killing Scrounge for revenge!

SUMMARY

Okay, so this issue has two things that I really love: junkyards and adaptations of A Christmas Carol. That said, it was a pretty so-so issue. I found a lot of the artwork hard to follow, especially in black and white.

SO, does this mean you have the rest of this SHOWCASE to read??? AND Volume 2?

And, if so, does this also mean we can expect more TT EDE RRs?

Yes, yes, and yes.

TEEN TITANS #14

“Requiem for a Titan”

THE PLOT

Okay, so I think Robin’s been hanging out with Speedy too much, because this story is like one bad drug trip. So, there’s this pedophile named the Gargoyle, and the story opens up with him in a graveyard with the names of the Titans on the various graves. And he’s making Robin strip in front of him. When Robin doesn’t want to take off his mask, evil ghostly versions of the other Titans show up and make fun of him. So he takes off his mask, turns into Two-Face and then Solomon Grundy. And this is just the opening to the story. Then there’s this flashback about the events leading up to this, which is all about the Gargoyle planting doubts about Robin’s sexuality, er… honesty, in the minds of his fellow Titans so he could transport them to limbo and turn them into evil ghostly versions of themselves. And then we find out that Robin was faking the whole agreeing-to-striptease-thing to save his fellow Titans from a life of being limbo-sex-slaves to this Gargoyle fellow. Or something like that.

CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

There’s actually several contenders, but my vote goes to when the Titans are trying to figure out which former villain the Gargoyle could be, and Wondy says, “He’s certainly not Ding-Dong Daddy… he’s not fat enough!”

SECOND CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

Robin to evil ghostly Wonder Girl: “I wouldn’t hit a lady! But then, you’re not a lady, are you? You’re just a phantasmic hunk of…” <catty remark interrupted by evil ghostly Wonder Girl’s fist!>

THE GREAT FROGS AUDITIONS DEPT.

Kid Flash and Aqualad consider forming a band, with songs like “I wanna hold your mask and cape” and “Junior Super-Hero Blues”!

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY BAD IDEA DEPT.

So, apparently the Titans have this deal with the local TV station so that anyone can get five-minutes on the air if they have a message for the Teen Titans. The Titans themselves pay for it. Is it just me or does it seem like a lot of people would abuse that rule? I bet there’s a lot of “We now interrupt your regular programming for yet another teenybopper confessing her love to the Boy Wonder!”

SPEAKING OF TEENYBOPPERS DEPT.

This bit of dialogue stood out:

Robin: “We make like Santa Claus, and the scene from the roof, so we don’t get stomped by a crowd of teeny-boppers.”

Wondy: “As a Teeny-Bopper myself, I’d resent that, if it weren’t absolutely true!”

THE MAKING ROBIN COMPLETELY USELESS DEPT.

Apparently, without the other Titans, Robin is so helpless that he gets beaten up by common bandits! I assume he's off his game, due to his friends being apparently killed and the Gargoyle's planting doubts about his sexuality and stuff!

THE CLEVER EXPLOITATION OF A VILLAIN’S FETISH DEPT.

After being transported to limbo, Robin promises to “spank the blazes” out of his fellow Titans! This is good move, as the Gargoyle is confused into thinking he’s still just going along with his sexual fantasies, instead of taking out the evil ghostly versions of his friends! This keeps Gargoyle out of the fight until after Robin has dispatched the rest of the Titans!

SUMMARY

Well, this issue’s just kind of weird. It’s got a really groovy cover, however!

RE: Teen Titans #13

EDE, I'm surprised to read that you found the art in the Christmas Carol story hard to follow. I love the Nick Cardy art on this story. I first read it in one of those giant tabloid size DC Christmas specials. This is a definite example of the limitation of the Showcase format. The story loses a lot without the color. Wonder Girl's all red Christmas outfit really stood out, and I always assumed was the inspiration for her later taking that color for her new uniform.

Yeah, I think the black and white may have been the problem. But there were quite a few scenes where I had to look at several times before I figured out exactly what was going on.

My theory of the underlying drug inspiration in TT #14 is confirmed in the next story, when the Titans become hippies!

Reading EDEs TT RRs is often more fun than reading the actual stories.

TEEN TITANS #15

“Captain Rumble Blasts the Scene!”

THE PLOT

The Titans visit “Hippieville, USA” in search of a runaway teen named Ken Matthews. Unbeknownst to the Titans, Ken isn’t getting along very well in Hippieville, and has been forced to take a job delivering “packages” for Tram the Trucker, who is engaged in some unspecified illegal activity. I would think that is his first mistake there. Who ever heard of a hippy with a job? Anyway, the cops interrupt Ken while he’s making a delivery, so pretty soon he has Tram’s gang, the Titans, and the cops all chasing after him. So he goes on the run with the chick he’s been shacking up with in Hippieville. Meanwhile, a motorcycle gang, led by “Captain Rumble”, shows up and tries to drive the hippies out of town. Because, apparently, motorcycle gangs typically hate hippies. Anyway, the Titans are caught up in all of this as they try to find Ken to return him to his parents.

THE GROOVY SUPPORTING CHARACTERS DEPT.
The story is narrated by “The Poet”, a guitar playing hippy who is basically the only one to actually fight back against the motorcycle thugs and is kind of interesting. There’s also Eddie the Guru, who serves a kind of interesting role as the gatekeeper of Hippieville, assisting both those who want to join the hippy community as well as those who want to “drop back in” to society. He’s apparently taken plenty of “mind-expanding” drugs, which give him powers that he uses to help locate Ken.

THE UNDERCOVER TITANS DEPT.

The Titans disguise themselves as hippies, with groovy hippy codenames. Robin becomes “Feather”, Wonder Girl becomes “Paradise Baby”, Kid Flash becomes “Feet”, and Aqualad becomes “Wet and Wild”. Those sound like pretty crappy hippy disguises to me. Especially as Kid Flash seems to be dressed as a hillbilly rather than a hippy.

THE GAY TITAN ALERT DEPT.!

A motorcycle thug tells Aqualad, “You’re even weirder than these hippies…” Clearly, he has gleamed on to the fact that AL is one of those really freaky homosexual types!

THE EDE’S INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND ARTWORK DEPT.

In one panel, this hippy chick has bells on her earring and necklace. I spent awhile puzzling over why she had the words “Jingle! Jingle!” written on her shirt, and “Tinkle! Tinkle!” written somehow in her hair, before I realized they were sound effects!

THE UNDERLYING POLITICAL MESSAGE DEPT.

Interestingly, the story seems to be incredibly sympathetic to the hippies overall. The key line, however, is when Robin tells Eddie: “I really respect that non-violent attitude of yours, but sometimes you gotta meet nasty force with super-hero power!” So basically while the pacifism of the hippies is well-intentioned, it’s impractical in a world that has creeps like Captain Rumble!

SUMMARY
Okay, I actually really liked this issue. The whole “Hippieville” setting is pretty interestingly presented, with some nice hints that a whole lot more could be done with it, though I’m assuming it will never be seen again. Not only Eddie the Guru and the Poet, but also Ken and his girlfriend, Karin, are interesting characters.

TEEN TIANS#16

“The Dimensional Caper”

THE PLOT

So… back in the 1960s, hardly a month went by when the Earth wasn’t being invaded. If it wasn’t aliens, then it was people from other dimensions. And that’s what this story is about. The Titans come to the aid of a teenager, Chet Walters, who has accidentally discovered that his high school is a conduit to another dimension, whose inhabitants are planning on invading. Since no one will believe him, he calls the Titans for help. Investigating, they discover that not only is the kid telling the truth, but the principal is an alien from this other dimension!

THE CONVOLUTED VILLAIN PLOT DEPT.

Okay, so I didn’t quite understand why the alien base of operations is a duplicate of the school in the other dimension.

CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

Chet is dumped by his girlfriend: “Sorry Lover! I can’t see any guy who goes around telling kooky stories! Terrible for a girl’s reputation—and very uncool! You don’t exist—You’re in some other… dimension! Good-bye!” Yowzers!

THE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL DEPT.
After bad guys chase Aqualad to a swimming pool, he jumps in and stays underwater for a really long time, confusing the bad guys!

THE PLAYING HOOKIE DEPT.

Not once does anyone wonder why the Titans themselves aren’t in school!

THE DUMB ADULT COMMENT DEPT.

Chet’s dad says: “To think Hillsdale High was their secret base and we never knew it! And if Chet hadn’t stumbled onto it… we still wouldn’t know it!

Well, you wouldn’t know until the aliens had conquered you and made you their slaves.

THE SNUFFALUFUGUS PROBLEM DEPT.

Oddly enough, the basic driving plot of this story, in which a kid discovers something and no adults will believe him, would probably have difficulty getting by censors these days! But the CCA apparently didn’t have a problem with it!

SUMMARY

Okay, so I *really* liked this issue. Such a classic Silver Age plot adapted to the basic Titans helping teens in need angle… well, that’s kind of what I hoped these stories would be!

I'm about ready for more EDE retro reviewin'.

I've actually finished the first volume, but just haven't gotten around to writing up the reviews!

TEEN TITANS #17

"The Return of the Mad Mod!"

THE PLOT

So, the Titans travel to London to visit the Queen, as her special guest at some event or other, and who should show up but the blinkin' Mad Mod! He quickly steals the royal sceptre, and easily defeats the Titans! It seems he came up with the brilliant idea of luring Robin away and locking him in the Tower of London before the event, and we all know the rest of the Titans are useless without Robin! Oh, plus he gimmicked their clothes to weaken them, too! Anyway, the Titans three have to chase the Mod around Britain in search of the sceptre!

THE GROOVY SUPPORTING CHARACTERS DEPT.

Got to love any story with the Loch Ness Monster!

THE GEOGRAPHY LESSONS DEPT.

Given how quickly the Titans seem to travel between them, London, Loch Ness, and Stonehenge must all be located really close to one another!

COOL VILLAIN HIDEOUT DEPT.

Love "The Ungrotty Grotto"!

THE GAY TITAN ALERT DEPT.

Aqualad uses the nickname "Flasher" for Kid Flash, obviously a subliminal message!

THE POOR VILLAIN PLANNING DEPT.

The Mad Mod fails to get away, because "I bloomin' forgot-- the ruddy tide comes in 'ere at this hour!"

SUMMARY

This was another pretty decent issue. The Mad Mod sabotaging the Titans costumes is actually a pretty clever trick. And it's kind of groovy seeing Robin's role minimized in the issue. The actual chase, where the Mod hides the sceptre in random places throughout Britain while the Titans keep finding it, is a bit goofy, but, nonetheless, the storyline holds up pretty well!

TEEN TITANS #18

“Eye of the Beholder”

THE PLOT

Since the Titans had so much success protecting the royal jewels of Britain from the Mad Mod last issue, they are invited to Sweden to help protect the crown jewels of that country against notorious French master thief Andre le Blanc. But, there’s a catch! Already in pursuit of Le Blanc is Soviet teen hero Starfire, whom the Titans must team up with in order to capture Le Blanc, protect the Swedish crown jewels, and recover the Faith and Charity diamonds of the U.S. and the crown jewels of the Soviet Union, which Le Blanc has already stolen. Of course, since Starfire is a dirty commie and the Titans are arrogant imperialist Americans, they quickly find themselves at odds.

CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

Starfire: “You Americans are just a bunch of spineless, whimpering toy soldiers!”
I know, it’s not that great, but, considering the plot of this issue, it is surprisingly devoid of good catty remarks. Even the French guy lacks really good insults!

THE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL DEPT.

While fleeing, Le Blanc throws the crown jewels in a sewer, just so Aqualad can use his powers to recover them!

THE LINKING TOGETHER DECADES OLD PLOTS DEPT.

If this and the last issue were Legion stories, I’m sure we would’ve linked Le Blanc and the Mad Mod as part of some global crown jewels stealing conspiracy by now!

THE GEOGRAPHY LESSONS DEPT.

Apparently, Stockholm is the “teenage capital of the world”! I had no idea! I wonder what that even means?

THE WEIRD FLIRTATION SCENE DEPT.

LE BLANC: “Ah, ma chere—what a waste! A beautiful child such as yourself fight me! What ees a…”

WONDER GIRL: “So help me—if you say “What a nice girl like you doing in a place like this,” I’ll really clobber you!

LE BLANC: “Everywhere zee women rush to me! Ah… I am so handsome eet makes me seeck!”

WONDER GIRL: “Me, too!”

THE GROOVY ORIGIN DEPT.

For some reason I’ve always been fascinated by Starfire/Red Star’s origin. Stumbles across an alien artifact while on a dig with his archeologist father is pretty groovy, and is one shared with groovy Legionnaire Kinetix!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY DEPT.

At the end of the story, Starfire says: “No matter what else you Americans may be… you have taught me something, that all men, regardless of their belief, must learn to live together! For when your ideologies and mine have long since turned to dust, man must still survive!”
Apparently, we’re supposed to draw some bizarre relativistic conclusion from the story. Like… my people kill millions people in the gulags, you guys like your freedom of speech and freedom of the press… so you’ve got your way of doing things and we’ve got ours! We’ve just got to learn to accept one another!

THE REAL MORAL OF THE STORY DEPT.

I like to think that what we really can learn from this story is that, however much Americans may have disagreed with the Soviets, we could still find common ground on one thing… those French are obnoxious bastards!

SUMMARY

This issue was a slight disappointment. The overall story wasn’t bad, though pretty formulaic. The big problem is that the most we got of the “clash of ideologies” was Kid Flash and Starfire calling each other arrogant, and each blaming the other for letting Le Blanc get away. Starfire didn’t once call the Titan bourgeois pigs or refer to their oppression of the working class or anything! For a story that’s intended to have a moral, especially the moral that it’s intended to have, it’s actually extremely weak.

Fun reviews, Eryk.

I've read only a handful of these early stories, including the ones with Mr. Twister and the Ant, which I read as reprints when I was very young. The rest I bought much later, and I recall being disappointed at how silly they were. Middle-aged men writing teenagers! Preposterous!

However, my Titans collection begins in earnest in the 20s, around the time of Mr. Jupiter, Mal, and Lillith. I'm looking forward to reading your reviews on these issues, Eryk.

Jeepers! EDE must be too busy reading all his regular monthlies to do any more reviews right now!

I've started reading Showcase, Vol. 2, but haven't started writing up reviews yet!