Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Dr. Gym'll's Cultural Rarities Oh Yeah, That Forum: The Titans An EDE Retro Review: Silver Age Titans Archives and Showcase!

Okay, so this is the first in what will be a series of reviews of the classic Teen Titans stories printed in Silver Age Teen Titans Archives, Volume One. I'm reading all of these for the first time, and will be presenting my views on each story as I read it.

We start with Brave & the Bold #54, which isn't exactly a Teen Titans story, but a teamup between Robin, Aqualad, and Kid Flash from June-July 1964, which set the stage for the later development of the Titans one year later.

THE PLOT
The town of Hatton Corners seems like this really boring place, because the biggest problem it suffers from is this "teen-age problem" , which, however, is apparently so important, it's made the national news. Now, it's not clear what this problem is, but it seems like the teen-agers just have nothing to do with their time other than hang out in a dilapidated old barn that passes for a "teen clubhouse", or playing their music too loud at the Soda Fountain, or leading the police chief on "merry chases" around town. Anyway, rather than build them a new "clubhouse" (i.e. teen center), the town's adults are busy trying to solve the problem by imposing curfews and other square measures. The teens call in Robin, Kid Flash, and Aqualad to speak on their behalf.

Anyway, if this weren't enough of a plot, there's this delusional lunatic named Brom Stikk whose brain, I would guess, has probably been addled from massive drug use, though apparently his ancestors were equally as crazy. Supposedly, his ancestor "rented" the town founders the land on which the town was built, on the conditon that they pay him one passenger pigeon feather or one "stalwart youth" to labor for him per year. So Brom comes to the town and demands the back payment of everything owed to his ancestor's descendants. The town leaders laugh at Brom's silly demands. And, of course, laughing at the the silly demands of a delusional lunatic with a drug-addled brain who comes to your small town is always a mistake.

To make a long story short, Brom, in his new identity of "Mister Twister", kidnaps all the town's teens to work for him in his slave labor camps on "Goat Island" (which is surprisingly lacking in goats!). What he really wants, however, are the passenger pigeon feathers to add to this goofy bird-feather cloak he wears. So, as he has the teens doing silly things like building a giant twister monument, he threatens to destroy the town if they don't give him his feathers, which creates a problem since the passenger pigeon has been extinct since 1913. Oh well, it's a good thing those teens had invited Robin, Aqualad, and Kid Flash to town.

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.
"No teen-ager would use the word 'music' in a hip language message... they'd use 'jive!'

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Kid Flash remarks about some girls admiring Aqualad: "They'd need gills to go on a date with him!"

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT.
Besides hiding the teens on an island, Mister Twister later floods the town, allowing Aqualad's narwhal friend to swim freely in the streets!

THE EVIDENCE OF SPEEDY'S DRUG USE DEPT.
Well, it sure is odd that Speedy isn't invited to help present the teens case alongside the other teen heroes. Maybe they didn't think having a dope fiend speak for them would help their case?

And it sure is interesting that Brom Stikk, Mr. Drug-Addled Brain himself, gains his powers from an old Indian cave... and which Titan do we know who was raised by Indians?

SUMMARY
Overall, this is a so-so story that's trying way too hard on the whole teens vs. adults issue. If that wasn't enough to tackle, there's also a whole moral thrown in about how Robin isn't useless despite his lack of super-powers.

This is the oldest comic in my collection. I bought it many years ago for something like AU$8 at an old second-hand book-shop in Perth where I grew up.

I've always quite liked it for its historical significance but it is a pretty flat story. Though I have always loved that image of Aqualad riding his narwhal through the streets of the town! I've always had a soft spot for Garth and especially his cute costume. I *so* wanted to be Aqualad more than any other hero when I was a boy!

For some reason I also have a bit of a soft spot for the cheesy villain Mister Twister! Man if that poor guy knew some of the weird transformations his character would make years down the line I bet he would've taken his stick and run home as fast as he could!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: The Brave and the Bold #60

So I decided it makes more sense to do these all in one thread rather than starting separate threads for each issue. Next we have the first official appearance of the Teen Titans, as they face "The Astounding Separated Man"!

THE PLOT
This story takes place in a town called "Midville", which strikes me as an odd name for a town on the ocean, but we all know why that's necessary. When our story opens, it's teen government day in Midville, when all of the important positions in the town are filled by teens for twenty-four hours. The boy chosen to be Teen mayor is a fellow by the name of Tommy Holmes. Tommy seems to be doing a pretty good job, but many of the adults are suspicious of him, because a) he's a teen, and b) his father is in jail.

It turns out that Tommy's father was a professor who invented a serum which turned him into the "Seperated Man", a "molecular giant that can separate into different parts". While Tommy's father intended this serum to be used for good, once turned into the Seperated Man he developed uncontrollable criminal tendencies, which eventually led to his imprisonment once he was turned to normal. But shortly after Tommy takes over as mayor, he finds out his father has broken out of jail and the Seperated Man has returned to menace Midville!

All the square adults try to use this as an excuse to discredit Tommy's teen government, so he calls the Teen Titans, which Robin had organized after the Hatton Corners caper, and together they help Tommy capture the Separated Man, who turns out not to be Tommy's father at all but instead his father's cellmate who had stolen a vial of the serum. Tommy's father had escaped prison to stop him.

THE FEMININE INSIGHT DEPT.
Wonder Girl: "I believe Tommy! No one with such sincere, blue eyes could lie!"

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Tommy's girlfriend (in response to Wondy's above remark): "Brrrrrr... Amazon or no Amazon-- if she keeps that up, I'll yank her ponytail off!"

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT.
Tommy tricks the Separated Man into thinking his "secret laboratory" is located in an abandoned lighthouse! Surfing and talking to fish ensue!

THE "I THINK I NEED TO CONSULT WITH QUISLET, ESQ. ON THIS" DEPT.
So, Tommy's dad is imprisoned for crimes he commits as the Separated Man, even though he has no control over them, and had good intentions. However, he isn't given additional time for breaking out of jail since he did it to stop the Separated Man. Huh? And why the heck did they let him keep a vial of the serum that turned him into the SM in the first place while in jail?

THE CREATIVE USE OF TEEN STEREOTYPES DEPT.
Tommy and his friends chase off a giant eavesdropping ear by playing the Beatles really loudly!

THE "COULD THIS VILLAIN BE ANYMORE CREEPY?" DEPT
As if giant floating eyeballs detached from their head weren't enough, they cry tears of fire! This could cause serious nightmares...

SUMMARY
Well, this issue was actually pretty good, though I found myself wondering what the Titans themselves actually bring to it. Tommy, his father, and unnamed girlfriend were all very interesting characters, and all the dramatic tension of the issue really revolved around them. As far as I'm concerned, this could have been their story without any Titan involvement. I'm kind of wondering if the lack of genuine development of the Titans themselves is going to be a constant problem with this series, since all of them really primarily belong to other series, and the authors can't really do much with them here. But we'll see...

Hmm. Warming to the idea of buying the SA TT Archive... we'll see if Eryk spots more cattiness and feminine intuition based on eye color in the other tales...

Just read the next issue... in it, a Titan is revealed to be gay!

Because of his eye color!!?!

No, because of his lusting after men!

Now I've got to go back and read it again!

How you could review #60 without saying Go-Bikes is beyond me, Ester.

Is it when Aqualad says "It's the Flips! Look at that Joe ride his jet-propelled surfboard...and dig his beat!"?

Even the hip slang of yesteryear seems ever so "quaint" by today's standards - its the ginchiest! The ultimate!

The Flips are so beautiful I'm going to cry.

Dig the context, cats!

And there's even more evidence of Garth's homosexuality in the next issue!

Presumably the District Attorney met his burden by showing that Prof. Holmes knew or should have known that there were unpredictable side effects to his serum and that this negated his lack of control. His "good" intentions don't count.

It is at the discretion of the DA to charge Prof. Holmes with attempted escape. And even if the DA does charge him and makes his case, the judge has the discretion to sentence him to time served.

As for letting him keep a vial of the serum with him in jail, I assume this is part of the same law in the DC and Marvel universes that give villians their super devices back when they finish serving their jail time.

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Showcase #59

THE PLOT

The Flips, that "latest singing group", which consists of a guitar player on a hovering surf board, a baton-twirling babe, and a stunt motorcyclist, are suspected of committing a jewel heist! This threatens their upcoming benefit concert in Clarkston, where they are supposed to help raise money to send a deserving student to college! The Mayor agrees to let the Flips come to town to perform their concert once the town teens call in the Teen Titans to make sure there's no trouble. The Teen Titans soon find themselves face to face with the Flips on a crime spree, or do they?

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.

At the beginning of the story, the various Titans are watching the Flips on television...

Robin: "They're the greatest! And that Jill-- she really "flips" me!"

Wonder Girl: "Ooh, that Jack-- I'd ride double with him anytime...!"

Aqualad: "Look at that Joe ride his jet-propelled surfboard... and dig his beat!"

It's really good that none of the Titans seems to be attracted to the same Flip, but poor Kid Flash doesn't seem to pair up with anyone...

Later, Aqualad chases "Wild Goofy Footer" Joe around a lake!

It's also interesting that the Titans arrive in town arm in arm, with both Kid Flash and Robin arm in arm with Wondy, but Aqualad only on Robin's arm. I get the feeling there's a bit of a crush there, as well...

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.
Robin says of Batman: "You are definitely un-round..."

THE "TURN DOWN THAT NOISE!" DEPT.
I don't really understand how anyone is supposed to hear Jack singing while he's riding around on that Honda...

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Jill: "Along came Wonder Girl/But my baton did a twirl/Wham-Bam/Alikazaaam/She landed right on her curl"

THE DEFINING ROLES WITHIN THE TEAM DEPT.
Aqualad: "C'mon, Robin, you're the brainstorm in this team... come up with something!"

<may also relate to the aforementioned crush>

THE DUMB GUARD DUTY ASSIGNMENT DEPT.

The Titans give Aqualad the task of guarding the Flips' stage props. This is the guy who can only exist out of water for one hour! And, of course, when the props are stolen, who's not around? No doubt he had to jump in a swimming pool or something!

THE NOT ALL ADULTS ARE SQUARE DEPT.

The Police Chief is maybe my favorite character in this story. "Say--- you know those kids are pretty good!"

SUMMARY
The storyline is solid, if somewhat predictable. The Flips are extremely silly as a concept, and I actually found them somewhat annoying as "singing supervillains". This is the first issue to feature the fantastic art of Nick Cardy, however.

I actually have this tale, in the TEEN TITANS 80-page Giant (all reprint stuff) that was released semi-recently.

I *loved* the scenes where the kids declare their love of the Flips, to the adults' chagrin and disbelief!

This was during Aqualad's bi-curious stage, which would end sometime before he met Tula.

In the NEXT ISSUE, the Teen Titans help rich American corporations exploit Columbian peasants and destroy their native culture!

Y'know-- I kind of liked the Separated Man and the Flips. Wonder why they were never updated and used again? They weren't really any lamer than Mr. Twister...

...now Ding Dong Daddy, on the other hand...

Can't wait for EDE's exploration of the greatness that is DDD.

Leaping mantas! Reading Aqualad and Robin scenes is like watching the Ambiguously Gay Duo!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: TEEN TITANS #1

"They just couldn't wait to start their own mag!"

THE PLOT
The Teen Titans are called to Washington to the HQ of the Peace Corps, where they are told that a Peace Corps unit in South America has run into "trouble of some sort" and specifically asked for their help. So the Titans volunteer to join the Peace Corps! Now, oddly, the Titans seem not to have time to call their respective mentors and tell them that they've volunteered, probably because they need to quickly start the intesive "orientation course" to prepare them for their work.

So during the orientation course they get this big lecture about how the job of the Peace Corps isn to help other cultures better themselves rather than turning them into "carbon copies of our way of life", and how they need to "respect the customs" and way of life of the people they are helping. So cut to "Xochatan", the area of South America that they are supposed to go to, where we find the Peace Corps volunteers aiding local native Juan Valdez (yeah, like the coffee guy) in building a dam to flood a valley in which a local pyramid-shaped temple is located. So, basically, what's going on is that they're destroying this "superstitious" (as we're constantly reminded) symbol of local culture, apparently paving the way for easier coffee exports so that one day Americans can drink their lattes at Starbucks! Oh, and they claim they're building a school, too, but they never really show any of that.

Anyway, the big emergency is that a lot of the locals no longer want to work on the dam, because they fear that the god of the temple is upset. Oddly, the god of the temple is a giant robotic conquistador. So the Titans show up and fight it. Later on, they also fight the "Beast-God of Xochatan", which appears in the form of several animals with human heads. And then they end up fighting the real villain, a rich landowner whom the peasants had rebelled against and driven into hiding in the temple, where he built atomic gadgets and giant robots. So by the end the peasants of Xochatan no longer need worry about the crazy guy developing advanced technology and weapons and can be content working to supply the Americans with coffee beans.

THE FEMININE INSIGHT DEPT.
Wondy: "Oooh! I have the funniest feeling-- like something is about to happen..."

Her woman's intuition is doubted by her fellow Titans, until confirmed by another female Peace Corps volunteer: "I feel it too! The bulldozer! Look out!"

THE GOOFY MENTOR MOMENTS DEPT.
Hippolyta: "Maybe we could get the Peace Corps to come here! This old place could use some changes!" Well, there are plenty of temples on Paradise Island for them to demolish and gods for them to offend...

Aquaman: "Say-- maybe they could use me in the Peace Corps!" Mera then chastizes him for trying to dodge his parental responsibilities...

THE SILLY USE OF KID FLASH DEPT.
When fighting El Conquistadore, Wally runs around the rim of his hat really fast!

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.
Aqualad seems awfully exicted to whirl the elongated serpent attached to Robin, stretching and stressing it until Robin feels that sense of release!

THE "I GIVE THIS VILLAGE ABOUT TWO MONTHS!" DEPT.
Robin: "But now that the pyramid's submerged completely... it can't be a threat anymore!" Well, except for the fact that it still contains advanced atomic gadgets and a beast god whose activities have been triggered by water the entire issue...

SUMMARY
I'm not really sure what to make of this issue. About half of it reads like something that might be distributed as an advertisement for the Peace Corps. Kind of a strange way for the Titans to begin their own series. The plot seems pretty disjointed and ludicrous, but there's not quite enough silliness to make it fun.

Heh. EDE's reviews are the cat's knees!

Closest Teen Titans equivalent of Legion tryouts coming up next issue!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #2

"The Million-Year Old Teen-ager!"

THE PLOT

So it's fairly well-known that the Teen Titans got most of their cases in the early days by answering calls for help from kids in trouble who either wrote them or contacted them by ham radio. What was news to me, what I learned in this issue, is that not every plea for help from kids was considered worthy of being responded to, and the Titans seem to spend a great deal of their time sitting around in their "secret lair" laughing about and making fun of requests for help they receive, in a manner somewhat similar to the Legionnaires dismissing unworthy applicants!

Anyway, this issue is motivated by a ham radio call they receive from this chick in Smedleyville, whose boyfriend is in serious trouble. Basically, he an unfrozen caveman teenager, who was found/adopted by an old farmer and has been trying to fit in at school. All the kids make fun of him because of his unfashionable clothes and because he speaks in broken caveman English, as was common a million years ago, instead of hip teen lingo. Trouble ensues when his arch-caveman enemy, a giant who had killed his entire tribe, is unfrozen as well and goes on a rampage through town. All the townspeople suspect our heroic caveboy, Garn, of being in allegiance with the bad caveman. So the Titans have to clear his name and defeat the evil caveman.

THE LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.
Penny: "You're strictly from squaresville if you don't put down the drags-- like you're cubed, but def! Now you try saying that!"

Garn: "You sure that is English, Penny? Sound very funny to Garn!"

THE SILLY USE OF WONDER GIRL DEPT.

So the Titans are hanging over a cliff, and Wonder Girl is holding on to a tree to stop them from falling, when her right hand starts to slip! So she ties her ponytail around the tree and holds them up!

THE CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

Random teenager making fun of Garn: "Ugh! Me Garn-- you Penny! Uuuh! Me love you-- ugh!"

THE "DIDN'T WE JUST READ THIS LAST ISSUE?" DEPT.

I think villainous caveman Azzuruk pushes over a cliff the same red bulldozer that we saw pushed into a lake last issue!

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT

Crichey! We haven't had Aqualad do anything all issue! So... let's say Garn and Azzuruk are strugling and... they fall in the water!

THE DEFINING ROLES WITHIN THE TEAM DEPT.

As this issue begins, each characters role is clearly defined...

Robin-- the no nonsense down-to-business leader type!

Wonder Girl-- The fun-loving chick who likes to frug!

Kid Flash-- The jock!

Aqualad-- The artsy, bookish gay one!

SUMMARY

This issue I really liked. Just the right amount of Silver Age silliness to make it fun without the whole plot being stupid or anything. And Titans meeting unfrozen cavemen is apparently about as common the Legion being turned into tots!

Jillikers! I'm surprised to learn there was an unfrozen caveman teenager featured in the Titans prior to Gnarrk.
I wonder if Garn and Gnarrk knew each other?

Review of the Demon Drag-Queen... er, Dragster... coming tomorrow!

Personally, IMHO, Teen Titans were at their best during the early 70's when they dabbled with the horror/supernatural genre..."The Demon Of Dog Island" was amongst my faves...

EDE RETRO REVIEW: TEEN TITANS #3

THE PLOT

So avid readers of EDE Retro Reviews might recall me raving about the cool gadgets the gang from TT #45 had, such as missile-launching mailboxes and stuff. Well, one of the nice things about reading these earlier issues is that I've now found out who manufactures groovy criminal equipment of that sort. It's none other than Ding Dong Daddy Dowd, the Go Man! Well, we don't actually see him building missile-launching mailboxes, but his garage builds plenty of groovy stuff like ice-cream carts with machine guns and attack gas pumps that pummel their opponents, which he then supplies to the criminal element, so it seems very likely to me that the aforementioned mailbox was his handywork as well.

Oh, anyway, in this issue the Titans are called before the President's "Commission on Education". They're asked to deal with the serious problem of high school dropouts, in particular in the town of Harison, which has a particularly high dropout rate. The Titans go investigate, and soon discover that kids are dropping out of school to work at "Ding Dong Daddy Dowd's Hot Rod Hive", which pays them tons of money and is much less square than school. Well, the real purpose of DDDD's hot rod shop is to build souped up getaway cars/crime machines for criminals. So the Titans proceed to shut the place down, leaving all the kids unemployed and forced to go back to school.

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT.

A gang member dumps Aqualad, disguised as a rival gang member, in a barrell of water!

THE WUSSY GANG MEMBERS DEPT.

Two ruffians attack Wonder Girl:

"Grab the chick and muss her hair!"

"Yeah, she can't hurt us!"

Wondy quickly teaches them a lesson: never mess with a chick's hair!

THE WEIRD FLIRTATION SCENE DEPT.

Ding Dong: "But what does the cute chick do? I she a wrench jockey to?"

Wondy (in disguise): "Why, noooo, Ding-Dong! I though I could pep up the boys' morale with a little music while they work!"

Ding Dong: "Haw! Like coolest! I dig the "rock" the most!"

So apparently, Ding Dong interprets "pepping up the boys" to require him and Wondy retiring to his office, where she sings and dances for him privately.

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.

Robin uses his trademark "Holy cow" phrase while riding alongside Batman. I bet he wouldn't say something that un-round sounding in the company of his Teen Titan buds!

SUMMARY

This issue was okay, but not great. I actually like Ding Dong Daddy as a villain quite a bit, especially with all his gadgety hot rods and cool stuff. But... I don't know. It seemed like there was a little something missing from this story. Maybe it's just that Ding Dong is defeated too easily in the end after the Titans are trounced by his machiness earlier in the story.

Wonder Girl's hair was the breakout star of the series, wasn't it?

The most!

I still love the fact that all of the other gang members are getting their butts handed to them by the rest of the Titans, and all these two losers can think of doing is "mussing the chick's hair".

Carry on with the commentary, EDE, i am really enjoying it so far...

Holy cow!

NEXT: Because you demanded it, SPEEDY!

these are hysterical!

Leaping mantas! I don't see any evidence of Speedy's drug use at all in his first adventure with the team!

Did the IOC?

What's IOC?

Hmm... I wonder if I missed an entire subtext to the issue? That provides a whole new spin on events...

EDE RETRO REVIEW: TEEN TITANS #4

Enter: SPEEDY!

THE PLOT

Okay, so this whole issue is a flashback to an untold case of the Teen Titans that happened during the 1964 Olympics, shortly after the Titans were formed. The story begins with two Olympics-related problems coming the Titans way: 1) young "darling-looking" sprinter Davey Bradley disappears while practicing for the Olympics and 2) Speedy shows up at Titans Lair and announces that he's been chosen to perform in an trick archery event as part of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Why is the latter a problem? Well, it's not just because Speedy somehow has to pass the drug test to perform... he's actually uncovered a plot by a terrorist organization known as "Diablo" to disrupt the Olympics. Since Diablo is dedicated to "hate and distrust", they are of course opposed to the Olympics, which are the "greatest example of international friendship".

Anyway, the Titans find Davey pretty quickly, and it turns out he's just in hiding from an overbearing father who is pushing him to succeed. They all go to Japan together where they foil Diablo's villainous plot and finally convince Davey he should compete, in spite of his father. And along the way Speedy comes up with an excuse to bow out of the whole archery event, so the drug testing becomes a non-issue.

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.

An excited Aqualad proclaims: "First time I ever danced the "swim" with three men!"

THE SECRET IDENTITY PRESERVATION DEPT.

Davey borrows a page from Superman by running around most of the issue in glasses, thus disguising his true identity!

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN INTERNATIONAL LINGO DEPT.

Random Japanese fan: "Sign please, Robin-san! You too, Kid Flash-san!"

Robin: "Certainly, if you'll just give us a little room-san!"

THE CLUELESS BOYS DEPT.

Wondy: "Oh, look at that big, luscious Japanese moon, Kid Flash! Doesn't it give you gooseflesh?"

Kid Flash: "No, Wonder Chick! Because something else is! Those jokers up there at the Olympic urn..."

THE COOL VILLAIN WEAPONS DEPT.

Diablo tries to blow the Titans up with an exploding autograph booklet!

SUMMARY

Not a bad issue at all, and the subplot about Davey and his father ends up being kind of sweet, and takes a slightly unexpected turn.

But far from the last.

"three" being the operative word here.

Next up, the Titans face... THE ANT!

Which is (barring reprints) the oldest Titans comic I own.

It's also the last issue in The Silver Age Teen Titans, Volume 1!

Which means I'm going to have to start looking for something else to review...

70s Teen Titans!!! One review is NOT enough.

Davey nearly had Arrowette's (or Miss Arrowette's, depending on how you look at it) origin!

Agreed! Especially around the time where Sharon Tracy witnesses a man being transformed into a bug-eyed alien - that was Nick Cardy at his ultimate zenith IMHO And the resultant "supernatural" themes that followed were the bee's knees, too, daddy-o!

Well, I was actually referring to the mid-70s revival of TT, but those early-70s issues before their cancellation were pretty interesting!

I think, dude, if the line-up from TEEN TITANS 50-52 had been retained then adding a few more heroes to the mix, DC could have had a possible 20th century version of the Legion - but alas, Alice, it didnt happen...

Just think what could have been...Jim Shooter could have been coaxed back to DC (yeah, right...), the Roll Call could have lived again - a groovy bunch of kids, being alternated and interacting with each other - where was Mr. Jupiter when you needed him?

The issue after the Ant is the one where Beast Boy tries to join the group, too. If only there was a Volume 2...

That may depend on whether I can find any more of them. And if I have to pay $11 an issue for them...

I'm kind of considering picking up the New Teen Titans Archives. I've actually only read scattered issues of that (and not for twenty years) so it might be fun.

I'm also strongly considering the Doom Patrol Archives, now.

one thing that always cracked me up about these old issues is that wonder girl was so much more powerful than the others.

the boys would eb fighting bad guys one on one but wondy could fly and throw cars at people.

Kid Flash had a few manuevers that enabled him to put the literal "spin" on the crooks.

The 70s Titans was chock-full of powerless characters who relied soley on gadgets or their own natural prowess... Mal, Karen, Duela, Robin, Bat-Girl, Golden Eagle, Gnarrk, Speedy... I always kind-of liked that.

Actually, LLASH, i kind of figured if they made a movie about the 70's Teen Titans, Jay (of Jay/Silent Bob fame) would make a terrific Charley Parker/Golden Eagle IMHO

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #5

THE PLOT

So, this issue begins with the Titans checking their mail. They've got a letter from Speedy, who says how much he enjoyed working with them on the Olympics case (detailed in the previous EDE Retro Review in this thread). That's a little odd, considering that case supposedy took place two years previously, but I guess Speedy was a little too busy getting high and stuff to notice the passage of time.

Anyway, the actual letter that motivates the plot is from one of Robin's friends, Dr. Paul Turner, who runs Camp Lacklock, a facility for juvenile delinquents in the mountains. The Titans head there to find out what sort of problem he is having, and are surprised to find that Camp Lacklock lacks locks, or walls or anything, and that Dr. Turner's methods involve trusting the kids not to leave. And forcing them all to read Deliverance, I'd wager. That would certainly be enough to keep me from wandering out in the mountains by myself.

So Dr. Turner is worried because he thinks one of his best graduates, Eddie Whit, may have returned to a life of crime as the costumed supervillain the Ant, who has fantastic strength and agility. Turner asks the Titans to investigate, because he's afraid that people will think his camp is too soft if one of his graduates goes bad. So the Titans track down Eddie, who it turns out is being blackmailed into being the Ant to protect his kid brother. So the Titans have to help him outwit the criminal caterers who are actually the masterminds behind the Ant!

CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

After Aqualad insults her new hairdo, Wondy says of Speedy: "He's cute-- cuter than any of you characters!"

THE CLEVER PRODUCT PLACEMENT DEPT.

Kid Flash reads a Metamorpho comic at the beginning of the issue!

THE TITAN TECHNOLOGY DEPT.

Kid Flash tails the criminals and then contacts his buds by "Teen Radio"!

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL!" DEPT.

The crooks, having been lured to Camp Lacklock, flee from the Titans. But instead of, say, returning their cars... they hop in a rowboat!

THE OVERUSED JOKE DEPT.

Surely they could come up ant-references besides picnics!

SUMMARY

I liked the Ant a lot, and the basic story was pretty good, though there were a few major unexplained plot points. Like how exactly Eddie and his brother co-ordinated stealing the money from the crooks, and how exactly the crooks ended up at Camp Lacklock. But, other than that, it wasn't bad.

Again with the hair!

"CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
After Aqualad insults her new hairdo, "

i think this can double as the gay titan alert.

Is it any wonder Donna changed her look after the amount of punishment her pony-tail took both physically - and verbally?

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #6

THE PLOT

Beast Boy tries to get the Doom Patrol to let him join, but they won't without a permission slip from his guardian. So he goes on TV to contact the Titans for a tryout, but they won't let him join without permission from his mean old guardian either.

So he joins the circus, because apparantly they don't care whether his guardian approves or not. Or at least, the Great Baltzer, the guy in charge of this circus, doesn't seem to care. Anyway, Baltzer is a crook, and there's this other dude named Vorna who's apparently in love wth him. Anyway, Vorna is a hypnotist, and hypnotizes Beast Boy into turning into an "albino baboon", who then hypnotizes circus-goers into giving him their money and going out and pulling crimes for him as a mob of looters.

Well, the Titans are soon on to this goofy plot, and join the circus themselves to investigate in disguise as the Masked Mazeppas. Which of course eventually leads to them having a big fight with a hypnotized Beast Boy.

CATTIEST REMARK OF THE ISSUE DEPT.
Kid Flash says to Beast Boy: "What are your powers? Or do you just scare people with that face?"

THE OVERLY CONVOLUTED VILLAIN PLOT DEPT.
Okay, so Vorna can hypnotize people. Why exactly do they need Beast Boy to hypnotize people? Because he can do more at once? That's not made clear at all. And sending a zombie mob out to loot stores? Like that's not going to attract attention.

THE ROBIN'S LESSONS IN INTERNATIONAL LINGO DEPT.

Disguised as a Masked Mazeppa, Robin answers Baltzer "Si, Signor Baltzer!" cleverly maintaining his disguise as a Russian acrobat! (or at least, Mazeppa is most famously a Russian name...)

THE "WE'RE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL" DEPT.

First the caputured Titans get dunked in trunk underwater, then the hypnotized Beast Boy dunks him underwater. There is even, completely inexplicably, a shark in the pool of water in the circus ring!

THE GAY TITAN ALERT DEPT.

Kid Flash vibrating at super-speed while giving Aqualad a piggyback ride. Enough said.

GOOFY VILLAIN MOMENT DEPT.

Baltzer shoots himself out of a cannon to aid Beast Boy against the Titans, while waving magnesium flares for some unknown reason.

SUMMARY

Well, Baltzer the great is pretty much a loser of a villain, but I really enjoyed Beast Boy's presence in the issue, and it was, overall, a lot of fun.

I demand more TT EDE RRs!

You know... I was just thinking today that I've completely stagnated on my Showcase reading. I'll get back to it, though!

So I'm (finally) nearing the end of the TT SHOWCASE (I'm on issue 15).

I have thoroughly enjoyed it, but I am struck at the difference between the TT and the Legion tales of the 60s.

I mean, you'd be *really* surprised at the amount of TT foes that are nothing more than a punk on a motorcycle.

Then you have some abstract, never-explained weirdo like The Gargoyle or Mister Twister.

I see now the Bob Rokakis kept the 70s revival run of TT much in line with the original run.

Fun stuff but it simply cannot compare to the 60s LSH stuff storywise.

I'll get back to reading the TITANS SHOWCASE as soon as I get through the new SUPERMAN volume!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #7

THE PLOT

The Titans are asked by Uncle Sam (the government, not the Freedom Fighter) to accompany rock star Holley Hip on his trip to Europe. Hip is suspected of being involved in smuggling precious materials between the U. S. and Europe. The Titans investigate and soon find out that the real culprit is "The Mad Mod", who supplies outfits to Holley, and was smuggling the materials in those outfits. So case closed, right? I mean... a fashion designer shouldn't be that hard to catch or anything. But still, The Mod seems to prove far more of a threat to the Titans than one would anticipate, as they are continuously thwarted in their attempts to catch him as he tries to recover the stolen materials!

THE COOL VILLAINS WEAPON DEPT.

When the Mad Mod and his goons try to throw an unconcious Kid Flash off a pier, Aqualad intervenes! Fortunately, the ever-prepared Mad Mod had left his robotic shark at that very pier!

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.

Poor Aqualad is so confused about his feelings towards cute Holley Hip! First, he's annoyed because he's "coming on too strong", then spends the entire plane ride sulking in the back after becoming the butt of one of Holley's jokes!

THE WONDER GIRL'S AWKWARD RELATIONSHIPS WITH GUYS DEPT.

The story opens with the Titans checking out their message board, with various notes left to the members (like "Batman called... etc."), and are surprised to discover an autographed picture of Holley Hip that Wonder Girl had place there, because he's "a dreamboat". However, since the picture of Holley Hip is signed with the same handwriting as the various messages to the Titans, which means either a) Holley Hip has been answering the Titans phone and mail, or b) whoever took the messages forged Holly Hip's signature! Because Wonder Girl seems like the most obvious candidate, this seems to be evidence that she's going a bit bonkers over the guy! And let's not even go into the later scene where she makes out with a cardboard cutout of Holley!

THE NAKED TITAN IN A BARREL! DEPT.

Robin's wearing a barrel after lending his costume to Holley Hip is in a category unto itself!

SUMMARY

The issue isn't bad, but somehow I was expecting more from the debut of the Mad Mod.

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #8

THE PLOT

So the Titans are called to the town of Lansford, where there's a big ruckuss going on over the High School's foreign exchange student program. A group of "patriotic" townspeople, a group called the Vigilantes, are all upset over the three exchange students being there. Tensions are ratched up a notch when one of the students is believed to have stolen an experiment jungle fighting robot, "Honey Bun", from the local military industrial plant! The Titans have to clear Hans of wrongdoing, while catching the real foreign spy, who of course ends up using Honey Bun against them!

THE GREAT FROGS AUDITION DEPT.

Wonder Girl is not impressed by Kid Flash and Aqualad's performance of "All I Wanna Do is Hold Your Foot!"

THE GAY TITAN ALERT DEPT.!

Aqualad shows way too much interest in a young lady who writes a letter and mentions the fact that she is blond, blue-eyed, and five-foot four. I mean, really, how can you tell someone is attractive just from that description? He's obviously over-acting. Poor kid! If only he could just come out of the closet!

SUBTLE POLITICAL MESSAGE DEPT.!

A number of the vigilantes picket signs have words mispelled on them! Thus contrasting them with the exchange students, who are interested in education!

THE GOOFY VILLAIN MOMENT DEPT.

The Vigilantes actually try to tar and feather Hans!

THE CLOTHED TITAN IN A BARREL DEPT.

The Vigilantes then try to put Wonder Girl in the tar barrel!

THE LIKELY TO END UP IN A GULAG DEPT.

Heroic Hans helps the Titans foil the actual spy from his homeland! I'm sure there won't be *any* repercussions once his tenure as an exchange student is over and he has to go back home!

SUMMARY

An enjoyable read, but the plot was a bit convoluted, even by 60s Titans standards.

I've read the earliest Silver Age Titans stories here and there, and I think Eryk's summaries might be more enjoyable at some points

I agree with Lash, no comparison to Silver Age LSH. However, I'm one of those people that likes to read what's come before, no matter what it was like, so one day I'll check them out...

Regarding #7: check out WG in the second panel of the last page

That and the lack of an apostrophe in "vigilantes" go under the category SUBTLE EDE HUMOR DEPT.!

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #9

THE PLOT

So the cool thing about reading these old Titans issues is how much one learns about how the lives of young people have changed over the years. Case in point: Spring Break. These days, of course, its all about getting drunk and hooking up with as many people as you can. But apparently, back in the old days, before the sexual revolution, gangs of college kids would spend their break going to the beach and fighting with kids from rival colleges!

Well, that's just the sort of situation that motivates this issue of the Titans. The citizens of Baxter Beach call the Titans in to help prevent a rumble between rival college gangs. So the Titans do so, and manage to convince the college kids to do more productive things with their time than fighting. So they organize them in this big environmentally friendly beach reclamation project. And then pirates attack. Yes, really.

WONDER GIRL'S AWKWARD RELATIONSHIPS WITH BOYS DEPT.

Poor Eddie the mailman is introduced as having a crush on Wonder Girl at the beginning of the issue, but she doesn't pay attention to him at all! I mean, he's a little old for her, but it's revealed later that she digs college guys, so maybe that wouldn't have been a problem.

THE COOL VILLAIN WEAPONS DEPT.

Okay, maybe the weapon itself isn't that cool, but how often does a villain get to blow open a bank with a torpedo?

THE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL DEPT.

I mean, the storyline is set on a freakin' beach, they're fighting freakin' pirates, and Aqualad just barely manages to be as effective as the rest of the Titans. Which, considering they all get their butts handed to them by the pirates and have to be saved by the college kids, is pretty pathetic.

THE MORAL OF THE ISSUE DEPT.

So, instead of fighting one another over silly differences like which school we go to, we should band together and start fighting pirates.

SUMMARY

So this is basically one of those sixties beach movies adapted to a Titans comic. If you really like those, you might like this. It bored me to tears.

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #10

THE PLOT

The Titans head out west to judge a "scramble" by a teen bike club called the "Wheeler-Dealers". The scramble takes place in "Wildcat", a old town that dried up when its old well did as well. Anyway, the grandpa of the guy who invited them there is convinced that there's still oil in them there wells.

Anyway, this biker dude called "Scorcher", whose biker outfit inexplicably includes a fireman's hat and an iron cross (and another biker wears a swastika), shows up with his gang, "the Hyenas", and demands a place in the scramble. The hyenas then precede to ambush the Titans and take out the Wheeler-Dealers over the course of the race, which is later revealed to be because they want to use the abandoned town as a place to store loot from their crimes. By the end, the Titans manage to rally against these deadly foes and they find oil. Yes, really.

THE WEIRD FLIRTATION SCENE DEPT.

Scorcher: "It's that knocked out chick, Wonder Doll! You're for me babe... Scorcher digs rough livin'"

A little later, after Wonder Girl rejects his advances...

Scorcher: "Va-Va-Voom! We could make such crazy jazz together-- but you're too much out of sight! If you let old Schorcher get vertical again, I'll take you to your leader... yeah! yeah!"

THE OVERLY CONVOLUTED VILLAIN PLOT DEPT.

"Hmm... should we take over the nearly abandoned town on one of the 364 days of the year when there's no one there, or wait for the big bike scramble which the Teen Titans are coming to? Let's do it during the scramble!"

THE TRYING REALLY HARD TO MAKE AQUALAD USEFUL DEPT.

There in the middle of a desert, so how could Aqualad be useful? Well, he gives Wonder Girl the opportunity to give the reader a nice lesson about how to find water in the desert by extracting it from a cactus, something she learned when she was "in the Girl Scouts" on Paradise Island!

THE "MAYBE THIS WHOLE TEEN SIDEKICK THING WASN'T SUCH A GREAT IDEA" DEPT.

The Titans are almost killed by a freakin' motorcycle gang! Okay, it's apparantly a freakin' NAZI motorcycle gang... but still! I mean, come on! At least Ding Dong Daddy had specially gimmicked motorcycles and such! this is just pathetic!

SUMMARY

Probably the weakest issue I've read thus far in the volume.

Do the later issues get any better, EDE? I was thinking of getting this, but chose ESSENTIAL AVENGERS #3 instead.

If they ever do a volume 2, I know I'd get that- as it'd have some Nick Cardy art and feature the debuts of Lilith and Mal and several stories I've never read.

I'd pick #1 up on sale, maybe.

This is just my 2 cents, Mystery Lad, but no - throughout the entire run of the original Teen Titans, it doesn't get much better. There is the occasional bright spot, but mostly, you either better like the artwork or have a serious appreciation of "camp."

Yeah. I have to agree. There are some nice stories, but you have to wade through a lot of mediocrity to get them.

EDE RETRO REVIEW: Teen Titans #11

THE PLOT

So, it's still summer, and Speedy shows up in Titans lair, desperate for a summer job to help support his growing drug habit. Fortunately, the Titans have a mission that he can tag along on, as boy genius Willie Gregson, who has a summer job working for a famous scientist, has written the Titans asking for help! Even though Kid Flash thinks the kid must be a total nerd to spend his summer fooling around with test tubes, the Titans go investigate.

As it turns out, Willie is being blackmailed by crooks to steal the plans for "Project X" from Dr. Finley. So the Titans have to stop the blackmailers and fight their giant seamonster.

THE GAY TITAN ALERT! DEPT.

Is it just me, or does Aqualad find every excuse he can to either ride on the backs of or give a ride on his back to his fellow Titans? Oh well, Speedy seems to really enjoy it as well.

COOL VILLAIN GADGET DEPT.
You gotta love the old telephone disguised as a fishing pole trick!

THE WEIRD FLIRTATION SCENE DEPT.

Kid Flash: "Wonder Chick, you're the most! Hey Speedy, have you got a "love arrow" in your quixotic quiver?

Speedy: "If I did, I'd use it to play Cupid for myself! She turns me on, too!"

SUMMARY

Actually quite a bit better than the previous couple of issues. I kind of like it when the Titans are taking on spies. And Speedy is actually a nice addition to the team.

New reviews coming soon!

Er... actually, did I do all of volume 1? I may have to finish those reviews first!

To prepare myself, I'm going to reread this entire thread when I get home!

TEEN TITANS #12

“Large Trouble in Space-ville!”

THE PLOT

The Titans are baffled when DJ Deejay, the first DJ in space, starts sending coded messages regarding crimes involving the stealing of famous Earth monuments over his worldwide broadcast. Investigating, they thwart a couple of attempts to steal said monuments and rescue Deejay from the aliens who are holding him prisoner and forcing him to do their bidding.

WONDER GIRL’S LESSONS IN HIP LINGO DEPT.

Wonder Girl discovers Deejay’s hidden messages by noticing that his rhythm is off:

Wonder Girl: “Hear that--?”

Kid Flash: “Sounds like the same crazy chatter he always spouts, W.G.!”

Wonder Girl: “Don’t be dense, twinkletoes! Something else else’s wrong with D.J.! His chatter isn’t right—it hasn’t got his usual rhythm!”

THE “HEY, ISN’T KID FLASH SUPPOSED TO BE FROM THE MIDWEST?” DEPT.

Okay, so I get the point that he’s supposed to be the jock of the group, but shouldn’t he freakin’ know where South Dakota is?

THE CONVOLUTED VILLAIN PLOT DEPT.

So, why exactly do the villains need to broadcast coded instructions to their Earth agents over Deejay’s broadcast? Surely they have some means of communication with them that isn’t being overheard by countless teenagers all over the globe?

THE “ISN’T THAT SPACE CAPSULE WAY TOO SMALL?” DEPT.

Well, isn’t it? It doesn’t seem to me one could really hold that many records in it. And poor Deejay, having to spend days in that cramped position. But the dude I really feel sorry for is the alien whose job it is basically to float in space outside the hatch of Deejay’s space capsule and point his gun at him for several days.

SUMMARY

This issue is at least quite a bit of fun, if nothing special at the end of the day.

Sounds like some overcompensating going on here.