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Re: Limericks #385497 09/22/05 11:45 AM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN minesurfer Deputy minesurfer Deputy Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN One day I went to the zoo. I had nothing better to do. First I fed the monkeys, then petted the donkeys, and painted the Gorilla's bum blue. next: The luckiest man alive... Something Filthy!

Re: Limericks #385498 09/22/05 01:44 PM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston Quislet, Esq OP strange but not a stranger OP Quislet, Esq strange but not a stranger Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston The luckiest man alive Got home well after five Unconcerned The dinner burned Would his wife's wrath he survive? NEXT: I am very bored at work Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!

Re: Limericks #385499 09/22/05 01:55 PM Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 3,611 Washington DC Lad Boy Legionnaire! Lad Boy Legionnaire! Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 3,611 Washington DC "I am very bored at work." I said with a suggestive smirk. Given the chance I'll take off my pants and try not to act like a jerk. NEXT: Is there in truth no beauty?

Re: Limericks #385500 09/22/05 02:07 PM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston Quislet, Esq OP strange but not a stranger OP Quislet, Esq strange but not a stranger Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston Is there in truth no beauty? In truth it sounds a bit fruity Give me something macho Like beer and nachos And not something so snooty NEXT: I took an unexpected turn Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!

Re: Limericks #385501 09/22/05 04:20 PM Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies I took an unexpected turn And crashed into a potted fern. I was covered with sores, For I'm allergic to spores. And thus a lesson I did learn. Next: I opened my black umbrella The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."

Re: Limericks #385502 09/22/05 04:53 PM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 16,853 Café Cramer Fat Cramer Time Trapper Fat Cramer Time Trapper Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 16,853 Café Cramer I opened my black umbrella And started to read Vampirella The rain came down And I noticed a frown On the man next to me. Silly fella. NEXT: There once was a dog who ate chickens Holy Cats of Egypt!

Re: Limericks #385503 09/22/05 06:39 PM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN minesurfer Deputy minesurfer Deputy Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN There once was a dog who ate chickens, If you wait the plot it will thicken. If you're not sure, that the chicken is pure. At least it's his balls he's not lickin. NEXT: There's nothing on broadcast TV. Something Filthy!

Re: Limericks #385504 09/23/05 07:17 AM Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 3,611 Washington DC Lad Boy Legionnaire! Lad Boy Legionnaire! Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 3,611 Washington DC There's nothing on broadcast TV. So let's all write bad poetry Limericks for you For me, a haiku Scrap that, let's all play sexually. NEXT: He showed off his hairy chest

Re: Limericks #385505 09/23/05 07:20 AM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston Quislet, Esq OP strange but not a stranger OP Quislet, Esq strange but not a stranger Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston There's nothing on broadcast TV At least nothing I want to see Plots that are dumb Leave me feeling glum I'd much rather write poetry. NEXT: To think I saw it on Mulberry Street Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!

Re: Limericks #385506 09/23/05 07:23 AM Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies He showed off his hairy chest, Much better than all the rest. To nuzzle those pecs Is better than sex, And so there I made my nest. Next: A woman with a husky voice The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."

Re: Limericks #385507 09/23/05 07:48 AM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston Quislet, Esq OP strange but not a stranger OP Quislet, Esq strange but not a stranger Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston A woman with a husky voice is cause to rejoice Unless you see That she's a he Who goes by the name of Joyce NEXT: To think I saw it on Mulberry Street Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!

Re: Limericks #385508 09/23/05 08:02 AM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN minesurfer Deputy minesurfer Deputy Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN To think I saw it on Mulberry Street, A parade of remarkable feat. People came from afar, By truck and by car To watch people walk in the heat. Next (with apologies to The Beatles): There lived a boy named Rocky Raccoon. Something Filthy!

Re: Limericks #385509 09/23/05 09:24 AM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 There lived a boy named Rocky Raccoon Whose dad was an otter and mom a baboon He was all mixed up That cute little pup Unil he fell in love with a three footed loon. NEXT: I went to the black and white ball

Re: Limericks #385510 09/23/05 10:48 AM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN minesurfer Deputy minesurfer Deputy Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN I went to the black and white ball. I wasn’t planning on being appalled. But to my chagrin, Naw, It couldn’t have been… Michael Jackson was all that I saw. Next: I'm leaving on an airplane. Something Filthy!

Re: Limericks #385511 09/23/05 11:09 AM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston Quislet, Esq OP strange but not a stranger OP Quislet, Esq strange but not a stranger Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 57,030 Boston I'm leaving on an airplane It will take too long to explain I'm not afraid or underpaid Just two words - Candy cane NEXT: A nice young man in the park Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!

Re: Limericks #385512 09/23/05 01:07 PM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN minesurfer Deputy minesurfer Deputy Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,658 NOVA by way of NOIN A nice young man in the park, Suddenly started to bark. Then he stripped off his clothes, and waggled his "hose". The cops wrote him up as a "Lark". Next: Whenever the muse strikes me Something Filthy!

Re: Limericks #385513 09/23/05 01:33 PM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 16,853 Café Cramer Fat Cramer Time Trapper Fat Cramer Time Trapper Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 16,853 Café Cramer Whenever the muse strikes me I write some wretched poetry She drinks too much She's out of touch A second-rate Calliope. NEXT: A cold wind chased me down the street Holy Cats of Egypt!

Re: Limericks #385514 09/23/05 03:55 PM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 A cold wind chased me down the street But I tripped over my big feet While on the ground I looked around For a grate spewing steam heat. NEXT: On a dare I kissed a frog

Re: Limericks #385515 09/23/05 07:02 PM Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies On a dare I kissed a frog And he turned into a dog. And quick as that, I was a cat He chased me. The rest is a fog. Next: I took a journey on a train The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."

Re: Limericks #385516 09/23/05 07:49 PM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 I took a journey on a train And let me make this very plain I travelled in coach With a talking roach Whose chatter drove me quite insane. NEXT: I took a journey on a ship

Re: Limericks #385517 09/23/05 07:55 PM Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 5,452 Adelaide, Australia legionadventureman Wanderer legionadventureman Wanderer Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 5,452 Adelaide, Australia I took a journey on a ship Looking cool and talking flip Thought i had made an impression bordering on obsession til i saw my open zip NEXT: G-string bikinis are fun to wear

Re: Limericks #385518 09/24/05 09:33 AM Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Semi Transparent Fellow Wanderer Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 7,723 G-string bikinis are fun to wear But not if you have lots of hair On your bum Or on your tum You need to wax or use some Nair. NEXT Bodacious Lola cleaned her gun

Re: Limericks #385519 09/25/05 02:19 AM Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 16,853 Café Cramer Fat Cramer Time Trapper Fat Cramer Time Trapper Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 16,853 Café Cramer Bodacious Lola cleaned her gun While she watched "Run, Lola, Run" She liked the show But didn't know If she should snuff her honey-bun. NEXT: Back when life was copacetic Holy Cats of Egypt!

Re: Limericks #385520 09/25/05 07:07 AM Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 5,452 Adelaide, Australia legionadventureman Wanderer legionadventureman Wanderer Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 5,452 Adelaide, Australia Back when life was copacetic and many people went heretic Nobody knew What murders would do Or how to make those charges stick NEXT: Beauty contests should be banned

Re: Limericks #385521 09/25/05 04:15 PM Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Rockhopper Lad Fabulous and Sparkly! Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 22,659 The Pyngwyn Colonies Beauty contests should be banned, There's nothing dumber in the land Than to hear a bleached blonde Who twirls a baton And talks like her head's full of sand. Next: Someone left the cake out in the rain The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."