Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Limericks

I don't think that was so good.
But you did the best that you could.
Ginger is hard to rhyme
And kinda sublime
But when we married I stood.

Aside:
Sorry about that Quis, but my wife wanted to see what one of this thread's limerick-ists would do with her name. I promise not to do that again. I figured we'd get injure in there... or maybe syringer... or singer (as in someone who was more singed). But I'm glad I didn't have to rhyme it.

Next:

There once was a gent who was dandy...

"I don't think that was so good.
Now I think that you should
drop down and thank me
Then beg, "Lad, please spank me."
And I will when you put on this hood.

There once was a gent who was dandy
and with the ladies quite handy
The song of his life
cuts like a knife
if you're a yankee like my cousin andy.

NEXT:

I'm really quite easy to please.

I'm really quite easy to please
and I like being thought a tease
enough fooling
time for some "schooling"
Master says "Drop to your knees!"

NEXT:

A young lad in Greenwich Village

A young lad in Greenwich Village
Went asea in order to pillage.
He created a rancor
and ran into a tanker
That led to some major spillage.

Next:

A young lady bowed to the king...

A young lady bowed to the king
And on bended knee kissed his ring
Please do not lay siege
To our home my liege
For my father died this morning.

NEXT:

The warrior rode into the dell

The warrior rode into the dell
and spied a young maiden at the well
He had to think
as she gave him a drink
"I have fallen under her spell."

NEXT:

I can't wait for the convention

I can't wait for the convention.
I wouldn't expect much contention.
There'll be lots of laughing,
Guffaws and some gaffing,
With no chance of receiving detention.

Next:

Have fun and down some for me...

Have fun and down some for me
Brewskies, that is, not tea
But don't get so drunk
You fall down ker-plunk
And end up in bed with Red Bee.

NEXT:

She was wearing hot pants and heels

She was wearing hot pants and heels
And paying for it with some meals
This sassy lady is so plucky
At times she gets lucky
I wish i knew how it feels

NEXT: Friendships are so nice to have

Friendships are so nice to have.
In many ways an emotional salve.
For when problems are shared
With others that care
The burdens seem to be halved.

Aside: I'm going to have to watch Steel Magnolias or Four Weddings and a Funeral now. Who knew I had such sap in me? ugh!

Next (and lets try to get dirty people, ok ):

I went out one night with a stripper...

I went out one night with a stripper
who went by the name Jack Tripper
He was so hairy
And a Muscle Mary
I couldnt wait to go gripper

NEXT: Subways make a poor diet

Subways make a poor diet
I don't know who would try it.
But I won't deny,
To see someone try
To eat a train would be a riot.

Next:
Words mean different things.

Words mean different things
To lovers and one-time flings.
"Forever" means "now,"
but that isn't how
we meant it when we bought these rings.

NEXT:

I can't wait to dance on your grave.

I can't wait to dance on your grave
I'll ever hold a new wave rave
we'll hold a party
because you are a smarty
and together we'll do the wave.


Here at the convention
we caused a sensation
Pov got arrested
Quis got bested
On Legion World there is a celebration.

NEXT:

What did you do while Quis was away?

What did you do while Quis was away?
Twas a shock to hear that one day
Legion World cried
And some of us "died"
In your honour we all turned gay

NEXT: Wet Speedo contests should never be ignored

Wet Speedo contests should never be ignored
But Quislet actually scored
Cobalt Kid thrusted
and Abin got busted
But Pov and STU were still bored

Next:
I dreamed of blue toxic waste

I dreamed of blue toxic waste.
It had a bittersweet taste.
It stuck to my shoe,
Like high-quality glue,
So I used it as wallpaper paste.

Next:
A quiet Saturday at home.

A quiet Saturday night at home
Is often spent with my friend the gnome
He lives neath a tree
Not too far from me
Just south of the Houston Astro Dome.

NEXT:

I took my doggies to the park

As a matter of fact, Semi, I pass the Astrodome every day on my way to work!

I took my doggies to the park
To run and jump and play and bark.
We checked every tree,
Were chased by a bee,
And stayed there till well after dark.

Next!
Oh dear! I'm out of clean socks!

Oh dear, i'm out of clean socks
I wish i could pull my hair out by the locks
Im in trouble most foul
I wanted to go to a bar right now
Coz i use socks to fill out my jocks*

*EDITORS NOTE: Jocks are the generic Aussie term for underwear that are briefer than "briefs"

NEXT: The creative well has gone dry

The creative well has gone dry
Alas! I pout and moan and cry
Try something new
like a Legion haiku
Or maybe a new trough to ply.

NEXT:

Most people have a dirty mind

Most people have a dirty mind.
I'm thankful mine is of that kind.
It makes limericks fuller
'cause clean ones are duller.
And reading the clean ones is always a grind.

Next:

There once was a guy named Brutus...

There once was a guy named Brutus
A nomad who was rootless
I said "Don't roam,
Come to my home.
You have talents to suit us."

NEXT:

Thank heavens for Legion World

Thank heavens for Legion World
Else where would I have my hair curled
Oh, it's not a salon?
How could I be wrong?
Unless my mind has unfurled.

(Okay, it was lame, I'll admit)

NEXT

Be quiet for I have work to do