Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Limericks

There once was a man in a hammock...
Who was by no means a eunoch
I jumped on to swing
like on an outdoor sling
And began to wreak naughty havoc.

NEXT:
Should I play it coy?

There once was a man in a hammock
who dreamed he was in Bancock
It was nice
with plenty of rice
Until seagulls started to flock

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Should I play it coy?

Should I play it coy?
So as not to annoy
Probably not
since I've got
a reputation to keep as lad Boy!

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Running naked in the rain,

Running naked in the rain
is one way to train
for a track meet
in the heat
Plus my shorts have a stain.


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I am getting a bit flustered

"I am getting a bit flustered."
Kate said as all the gents clustered.
"Someone's spreading lies
About what's 'tween my thighs..."
The gents smiled and stared at her bustard.


<marquee behavior=alternate> </marquee> Next:

I just had barbecue for lunch...

I just had barbeque for lunch
a couple of spare ribs I did munch
Greasy fingers
will linger
upon my glass of punch

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John went on a date with Mary

John went on a date with Mary
And then things got kinda scary
She touched neither him nor another
Yet still became a mother
Shortly after she and John did marry.

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Lad Boy was struck by lightning

Lad Boy was struck by lightning
And the result was very frightening
He was in the mood
with a guy he had wooed
And the bolt cause a pleasure heightening

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Mark was all alone one night

(Thanks, Quis.)

Mark was all alone one night,
he thought, as he turned of the light.
When the room was all dark
A guy from the park
joined him for unexpected delight.

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Steve has a brand new car.

Steve has a brand new car.
Which he'll drive all the way to a bar.
He'll stop outside Shakes.
And won't have to use breaks.
When he gets there, they'll say, "There you are."

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There once was a cowboy named Bop.

Aside:

Minsurfer, this one had me laughing out loud.

Aside over. Carry on...

There once was a cowboy named Bop.
who lost a leg and had to hop
out on the range.
It was a little bit strange
but less so than the hooker named "Stop."

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When Kate went to work for the press,

When Kate went to work for the press
She really created a mess
Besides her sighs
And out and out lies
She worked in a blue topless dress.

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Who the hell is this gal Kate?

Who the hell is this gal Kate?
Some chick minesurfer would date
I couldn't care less
'bout her state of undress
'less she had a cute brother named Nate.

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The once was a fireman named Nate.

Who the hell is this gal Kate?
To get to know her is a three hour wait.
For though she's promiscuous,
And a little androgynuous,
The line extends well past the gate.

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A hooker named "Stop" got it started...

Aside... thanks Semi. I was chuckling at that one too. As for Kate... I made her up a few pages back and have managed to work her in quite a few more limericks. She gives me something to focus on. Feel free to use her yourself... it seems everybody else does... and that's part of her appeal.

There once was a fireman named Nate
Who was in love with Minsurfer's date
The 'surfer got mad
And punched out that lad
Who ne'er again made eyes at Kate.

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He got caught with the senator's page

There once was a fireman named Nate.
The brother of Promiscuous Kate.
Although he was needy,
And Kate was so seedy,
Nate's at least one man that Kate wouldn't date.

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A hooker named "Stop" got it started...

LOL... Somebody get Quis in here to fix this...

A hooker named "Stop" got it started
But during the act, she farted
All were aghast
Even those at half mast
And in the blink of an eye departed.

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He got caught with the senator's page

A hooker named "Stop" got it started...
but found that her John soon departed
When her name her would cry
She'd just sit and sigh
And assume he was very good-hearted.

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He got caught with the senator's page

He got caught with the senator's page
Such doings were all the rage
It was his duty
to bag such a beauty
Luckily the page was of age.

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What will you do this weekend?

He got caught with the senator's page
Who, last summer, worked for a mage
Aphrodisiac spell
The page worked so well
Soon that page would become all the rage.

NEXT: When Kate discovered women's lib

(Oops!)

What will you do this weekend?
Do not act like a bookend.
Go eat out
Twist and shout
Find a broken heart to mend.

NEXT: When Kate discovered women's lib

When Kate discovered women's lib
I'm going to tell you what she did.
She dressed up in a tuxedo,
Decided "Lib" meant Libido.
And went back to doing what her mom had forbid.

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It's good to see FC stopping by...

It's good to see FC stopping by
On her way to enjoy a cold chai
But she's saddened to see
That they've run out of tea
So she'll have to settle for pie

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Last weekend in Boston I found...