Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Limericks

Mary went to bed by eight
Her husband could harly wait
For as she slept
out he crept
to meet me for our date.

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Mary got the house and car

I'd like yo buy a vowel
to give to Colin Powell
and something really nice
for Condoleezza Rice
who no longer has trouble with her bowel.

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Mary got the house and car

Mary got the house and car
And all the stocks plus a gold bar
her attorney
named Bernie
got the cottage in Myanmar.

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Albert has found a new love

Albert has found a new love
A gift, but not from above
His new love, you see,
Is someone like me
Who likes to play catch with no glove.

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Albert was talking to Kate.

Albert was talking to Kate
About their most recent date
I remember your face
When I got to first base
And you told me it was getting too late.

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Call me up and spend a dime

Call me up and spend a dime
When you have some spare time
We'll dish and chat
about this & that
It will all be very sublime.

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Lazily drifting down the river

Lazily drifting down the river
Suddenly I felt a shiver
Crocodile
Gave a smile
Thought for lunch he'd have my liver.

NEXT: WIth Tenzil Kem in the kitchen

With Tenzil Kem in the kitchen
Your nose will be twitchin'
The soup's hot
and will hit the spot
Perfect for a cold away mission.

(kitchen doesn't have many rhyming words)

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On a cold and lonely asteroid

On a cold and lonely asteroid
Garth discovered he had a hemorrhoid
Without preparation
of proper medication
he just scratched and scratched in the cold, dark void.

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While drinking a Georgetown bar,

While drinking a Georgetown bar
may sound quite bizarre
It would be good
if you could
And finish it off with a cigar


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They say it is going to snow

They say it is going to snow
You ask me how I know
I tell you this
I never miss
When my bunion starts to grow.

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Once upon a journey merry

Once upon a journey merry
that started on the Potomac ferry
I arrived with my wife
but after some strife
left the boat with Halle Berry.

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This year for Halloween

This year for Halloween
I'll dress like a star of the silver screen
If Brad Pitt
won't fit
I'll just go as a leather queen.

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The old miser sat alone in his house

The old miser sat alone in the house,
While thinking of Kate in her blouse.
His pulse started surging
and he developed an urging
that not even a cold shower could dowse.

Next...

A lad and a lass after school...

A lad and a lass after school
wanted to try something cool
Said he, "you could impress,
if you would just undress."
Said she, "I'm not that big a fool."

NEXT:

When her father came home

When her father came home
From a holiday in Rome
He brought Armani
For his wife Connie
Although she was a crone.

(That just didn't work)

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Help me right this terrible wrong

Help me right this terrible wrong
Yes, it's the same old song
Ignoring my brain
I acted insane
Just get me out of this thong!

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I ate too much Halloween candy

Help me right this terrible wrong
Yes, it's the same old song
Ignoring my brain
I acted insane
Just get me out of this thong!

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I ate too much Halloween candy

I ate too much Halloween candy.
Alot of the loot was quite dandy.
Yet most of the sweets
Were magnificent treats,
But the 'bit-o-honeys' were rather blandy.

Next:

My candy was stolen by ninjas...

My candy was stolen by ninjas
Who were on their yearly binges
A chop to the head
They left me for dead
But I hung on to life by inches.

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Minesufer, that was hard to rhyme,

Aside:

I figured I'd see a sent ya... or a send ya... or something like that. I don't post a word to rhyme unless I have at least one good rhyme in mind for it... I learned my lesson on Ginger. I thought you did a remarkable job.

Back to the game...

Minesurfer, that was hard to rhyme
And make it sound sublime
It makes you think
That you need a drink
Or else commit a really bad crime

NEXT: Who could hate Kate?

Sorry LAM... I had to change your opening line in form so the syllables would work. I hope you don't mind. I believe I've kept the spirit intact.

Is there anybody who could hate Kate?
Was the subject of a heated debate.
If anyone can,
It's Indignant Ann,
For Kate ran off with her mate.

Next...

While walking to work in the rain...

While walking to work in the rain
I suddenly felt a burning pain
Was it in my shin
Or on my chin
Or was I merely going insane?

NEXT:

Standing over the old steam grate

Standing over the old steam gate
I contemplated the whims of fate
A rusty bolt
a nasty jolt
And I would be in a dire strait.

NEXT:

Would a ray of sun part this gloom?