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 Re: Limericks
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891
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Posts: 2,891 |
And the congregation said, "Amen!"
which closed the service that's when
the priest did ahead
back to his bed
where waiting was a guy named Ken.
NEXT:
Betty did now see the light
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Betty did now see the light
She looked to her left and right
up & down
all around
But it is Betty who's the sight.
NEXT:
The old maid vacationed in Miami.
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853 |
The old maid vacationed in Miami
And ate sandwiches of salami
She sat by the pool
And tried to look cool
But her turtleneck made her feel clammy.
NEXT: The old maid ordered some liquor
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891 |
The old maid ordered some liquor
to quench her thirst all the quicker,
when out from the pool,
jumped a guy named Raul
in a speedo which about stopped her ticker.
NEXT: Said Raul to the Old Maid.
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Said Raul to the Old Maid
Of me, be not afraid.
if you presume
to come to my room
I'll give you some lemonade.
Next:
The old maid beheld a wonderful sight
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Special 10,000th post limerick
Quislet, Esq. reached 10,000 posts
Such a feat only a few could boast
it naturally led
to a swelled head
Megalomania was the diagnose!
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
And now back to our regularly scheduled limerick.
Next:
The old maid beheld a wonderful sight
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853 |
The old maid beheld a wonderful sight
She dreamed of herself and Raul in the light
Of a tropical moon
But all too soon
From the lemonade she got high as a kite.
NEXT:
Raul was surprised by the old maid's singing
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670 |
Raul was surprised by the old maid's singing
Which to his refined senses were stinging
He wanted romance
But now there's no chance
Because his ears just cannot stop ringing.
NEXT:
The old maid waited for a sign
Legion World's Badwill Ambassador
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891 |
The old maid waited for a sign
just maybe the stars would align,
and on this day
she'd get some play
from a hunk with a bottle-o-wine.
NEXT:
Gigolo Johnny meets the old maid.
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Gigolo Johnny meets the old maid.
"Easy mark," says he. "I've got it made.
Dancing and prancing,
A bit of romancing,
I'll use all the tools of the trade."
NEXT:
Gigolo Johnny makes his move.
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Gigolo Johnny makes his move
And as he got into the groove
at the disco
in San Francisco
Johnny was forcibly removed.
NEXT:
Johnny was thrown out into the alley
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853 |
Johnny was thrown out into the alley
Where he was seen by beautiful Sally
Taking a short cut
While walking her mutt
Home from an anti-war rally.
NEXT:
Sally looked down on John, Gigolo
Holy Cats of Egypt!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Sally looked down on John, Gigolo
And started to play her piccolo.
John, feeling inspired,
Brushed off his attire
And invited her back in for a Michelob.
NEXT:
John joined in Sally's protest
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 539
Active
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Active
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 539 |
John joined in Sally's protest
but his feet wanted to get some rest
He needed a plan
to be Sally's man
So he thought he'd try his best.
NEXT:
He bought a fancy bouquet of flowers
(Be lenient, guys. I've never written a limerick before).
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
That was great Dain.
He bought a fancy bouquet of flowers
and wrote love sonnets for hours & hours
It wasn't to be
for you see
Sally had a crush on Stephanie Powers
NEXT:
Stephanie Powers played April Dancer
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Stephanie Powers played April Dancer
As a 1960s spy smasher.
Sally was a fan
Who had a plan:
To join U.N.C.L.E. as May Prancer.
NEXT:
May Prancer went on her first mission
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,670 |
May Prancer went on her first mission
to stop a T.H.R.U.S.H. plan for nuclear fission
She was rarin' to go
But then Napoleon Solo
refused to give her permission.
Next:
May stowed away on a plane
Legion World's Badwill Ambassador
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
May stowed away on a plane
While chasing a villian named Bane.
May was stranded
When she landed
As the villian drank some champagne.
Next:
What was Bane's nefarious plot?
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
What was Bane's nefarious plot?
May noticed he was drinking a lot.
He picked up the phone
And dialed Al Capone,
And said, "I wan' this fellow shot!"
NEXT:
May had to do something quick
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891 |
May had to do something quick
for the plot was now getting thick
So she went for her gun
and Bane he did run
to avoid getting shot by this chick.
NEXT:
May chased after villainous Bane
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,659
Fabulous and Sparkly!
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Fabulous and Sparkly!
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22,659 |
May chased after villainous Bane,
But then decided "This is a pain.
I'll no longer run,
But I'll make my own fun
Staying home reading novels by Zane."
Next:
Aunt Betty made a pot of strong tea
The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
|
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OP
strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Aunt Betty made a pot of strong tea
and put out a lemon scone just for me
a tasty treat
oh so sweet
until I got the bill with her fee.
NEXT:
Betty took a trip to Montreal
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Betty took a trip to Montreal
Just to get away from it all.
Scones and teas!
Bills and fees!
But wherever did she park the U-Haul?
Next:
Betty brushed up on her French
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Re: Limericks
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,891 |
Betty brushed up on her French
til alas, her tongue she did wrench
it happened in a bar
while rolling a double R
and talking to a man in a trench.
Next:
Betty was saved by a Canadian Mountie
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