Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted!

Nasty Genie even makes the gigantic pile of leaves that perfect snappy, crunchy variety just for you. You still have that smile on your face when they find you in spring, never having been able to find your way back out of the pile that grew more and more gigantic when you were in it.


I wish that the swooshy (a technical meteorological term I'm sure) winds would go away.

Granted. Our atmosphere gets blown into the solar winds. Hope you have enough bottled oxygen to last the rest of your lifespan.

I wish I weren't so sleepy right now.

Granted!

Not only are you not sleepy right now, you are never sleepy again. It’s day three before the hallucinations start. It only goes downhill from there.

I wish that I could be more focused at work.

Granted. You are forever banned from accessing non-work related sites, including Legion World. Well, it was nice knowing you. There's always snail mail.

I wish the Legion were being published again with brand new stories that were exciting and wonderful.

Granted!

The bested Legion comics are being published. The Wanderers led by Shikari find them on a parallel world that has never heard of the current heads of DC and their parent company. It's just a shame it's not in this universe.


I wish archaeologists would find a dinosaur skeleton holding an "End Nuclear Testing" sign.

Granted. They find it because you planted it there. You chuckle to yourself until investigative reporters and the FBI catch on to you. But you are famous!

I wish I could fly.

Granted!

You have a new appreciation for the world as you see the world from your new vantage point. Because you skipped working out your leg muscles, due to having the cold, you stay aloft for a little less time than expected before gravity kicks in and you plummet down the side of the building. But what a few moments!

I wish my hard drive would reorganise itself without me putting the effort in.

Granted. Your hard drive gains the sentience of COMPUTO, decides you're an inefficient human and promptly deletes you.

I wish I had perfect health.

You are the envy of the world with your amazing glowing health. That lasts for a minute before the crazed octogenarian flies into you on his rocket powered iron lung.

I wish people wouldn’t drone on endlessly.

Granted. Everybody's mute. And forget about droning on endlessly online - the Internet gets shut down. Now everyone will have to drone on endlessly via pen and paper.

I wish I had a passport that would grant me visa-free access to all countries in the world.

Granted!

You now have access to the most corrupt, reperessive regime on the planet. They like you so much there, they don't want to let you leave.

I wish work would do itself.

Granted. Work's so efficient that you're not needed anymore. I hope you have enough saved up until you find a new job.

I wish I had a complete collection of all comic books featuring the Legion, in mint condition.

Granted! Unfortunately, the entire collection is kept in the heart of that cave from The Descent.

Now, I personally love the Universo arc to death, but not enough to actually die under the claws and teeth of flesh-eating mushroom people. (Sorry, Paul and Steve.) Others' mileage may vary, of course.

I wish I was stoic enough to sit through more horror movies and enjoy them as much as my friends do.

Granted. Your brain's lost the ability to feel fear. At least you can approach icky, harmless creatures like cockroaches and rats safely. But better keep away from lions, tigers or thugs carrying baseball bats.

I wish I could take a year off work and still keep my job.

Granted!

You have a year off work. It's spent in prison for your crimes. Although you kept your job no one will ever go near you at it again. Not after what you did.

I wish trains would not spend most of their time waiting for overcrowded platforms. Have fun with this one.

Granted. Trains have now become obsolete. Hope you enjoy spending most of your money on cabs.

I wish homosexuality would be legalized in every country and would be accepted by everyone in the world.

Granted. But the magic being who caused this also causes you and Blaze to both turn straight. You choose to remain friends and never speak of the naughty things you've done ever again.

I wish everyone would wear clothes in the style of my costume!

Granted! Unfortunately, we now face sanctions from all the other United Planets owing to their strict no-mandatory-uniforms-for-civilians codes.

I wish I could drink a bunch of booze tonight without paying horribly for it tomorrow morning.

Granted! The onset of your hangover will be delayed until tomorrow EVENING instead. at least you can go right back to bed.

I wish all my old photos were instantly retouched to make them look much prettier.

Granted! There may be such a thing as too pretty, however. World-famous models are now launching a class-action suit to have you arrested for copyright infringement on their images.

Maybe we could afford a good lawyer if we held an LMB Bakesale...

I wish I could eat all the delicious baked goods I wanted with no unhealthful aftereffects.

Granted: now everyone is angry at you because you don't leave any baked goods for the rest of us, Nasty Genie didn't even have to get clever.

I wish the superintendent had announced a snow day BEFORE I'd already drove to school.

Granted! They announce the snow day the night before. You still missed the message and only found out when you were in school though. Odd how the announcement failed to reach all your gadgets...

I wish I would never get sick again ever.

Well, after the truck hits, you will never get sick again, or anything else really.

I wish that we find intelligent life in the universe.

Granted. They promptly delete us for being too stupid. Gee THANKS, thothkins.

I wish I could legally visit any country without securing a visa.

Granted. You use your MasterCard instead.

I wish I had a personal assistant.