Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted. He's terribly useless though. Forgets all your appointments, loses all your documents and can't even spell your name right. You should have asked for a COMPETENT P.A.

I wish I had a good identical twin who wouldn't go evil and who gets along with me very well.

GRANTED! He's good through and through. He loves everyone, and everyone loves him. Completely loves him. They forget about you entirely. Your twin remembers and tries to bring you into things, but no one else is that interested. Family, friends, significant other? All gone to spend more time with your twin.

In three weeks you decide that your twin gets along with you a lot more than you get along with him. In four, there's a oblong lump in the flowerbed.

I wish that my home self repaired itself.

Granted. It detects you as a flaw in its design and... well, it doesn't take kindly to flaws.

I wish my body were like a male supermodel's.

Granted! Genie is kind enough to give options. You get to either be an emaciated, bulimic heroine male supermodel whose organs fail moments later. Or, you get to be a steroid pumped, muscled freak male supermodel whose organs fail moments later.

I wish I could make tasks disappear and reality would adjust to make so that no one need ever notice an issue.

Ranted. You immediately cease to exist.

I wish for an end to poverty and hunger, but that the granting of this wish not involve people dying or the world ending.

Granted!

Value is removed from humanity, so there's no concept of quality or worth and so greed and money become obsolete. War ends as there's nothing to fight about. There's no concept of gain. With no conflict people find that food can be distributed to everyone.

Not that hunger leads to death. Thanks to Ibby, no one dies anymore anyway. Humanity breeds and breeds, taking up all available space on the planet. They adapt to survive without food as we know it, ensuring that there will never be any hunger.

On a small planet circling a bloated undying sun, writhes the mass of humanity, simply maggots squirming for space that their breeding has ensured no longer exists.

I wish that something amazingly entertaining would appear, entertain me, and leave me changed only in terms of my increased happiness moments later.

Granted! You are entertained by a wonderfully magical creature who makes you happy. So happy, in fact, that your body sustains the levels of joy chemicals being produced by your brain indefinitely.

I hope your teeth are in good shape, because the grin on your face will never go away.

I wish Legion World would last forever.

Granted! Not long before earth becomes a pit of writhing maggoty humanity, a small asteroid is detected by an enterprising Legion Worlder.

A plan is hatched. Slowly, over months, the secret Legion World shuttles take all the Legion Worlders (including Newbies! very important to point that out) to the asteroid, leaving humanity to their fate. They use their powers over 1950's Hamiltonian sci-fi physics to survive on the asteroid and then on the numerous worlds they encounter and explore.

All the while they post. Those who discover immortality and their sprawling descendants. They post. Beacons, or Wedding Sticks, as they are known are left on all worlds connecting the universe through Legion World.

In the energy free void at the end of time, Brainiac formulates a post. Having finally notched up all possible destinations on his travel bucket list, his consciousness is spread so thinly across space that he is now truly the Invisible Brainiac. It takes aeons for the thoughts to form, feeding on the scraps of nebulae for power. Almost all singularities have died before the post crawls along the wedding stick network. There is a flicker of remembrance from the remnants of the Legion Worlders. Those mining the last power from black holes. Those existing in curled mathematical dimensions. Those trapped in the Spaceopoly Phantom Zone. They remember.

"There are other universes..."


I wish that politicians were completely honest for a day.

Granted. They confess to all their wrongdoings. The sheer scale of their thievery, selfishness and incompetence rocks the world. You are one of those who gets so despondent that you decide to take drastic measures to escape...

It was nice knowing ya!

I wish we would only elect competent, honest politicians from now on (and that I would live to see the improvement in our world governance!)

Granted!

Competent, honest politicians are presumably put forward by new political parties across the world. With populations behind them they sweep into power, defying the old order. There's the dreamed of improvement in world government and dreams of a brighter tomorrow that brings a tear to the eye of a still living Legion World poster.

But some of those honest politicians were only honest because they had never had such temptation. Others are simply naive. Some are blackmailed, others demolished by a still fickle public. Honest politicians doesn't mean honest electorate and there are assassinations in the wake of our new leaders zeal in uncovering corruption.

One lone voice begins a speech in the ruins of a parliament building. The "Legion of mankind" speech is cut off by a single shot from a sniper hired by nearly all of the regimes from the world that was...and will be again.

I'd like the palms I put in to survive for at least a few years. That way I don't have that bad feeling I got when the last ones died very quickly.

Granted. But you should really be careful wuy your plants. Yours are really an intelligent alien speciesm they live a ripe long age after taking you back to their pplanet and dissecting you.

I wish people would go and play Know Your Legion Worlders and The Food Connection again

Granted!

And they do, and only those two threads. "Who were those Legion folks anyway?" types a poster who everyone now knows all too intimately as they post a guess about rutabagas. Innovation the internet vanishes and you are now responsible for even more cookery programmes on TV, so people can come up with new solutions to the Food Connection thread.

I wish that poachers were rigorously caught and hunted down on a TV game show.

Granted. It's such a good deterrent that now all sorts of criminals are forced to join the show. Soon even people guilty of very minor infractions of the law such as speeding are asked to join. Congratulations for making the future dystopic.

I wish the weather would also remain at a comfortable temperature.

Sitting happily under it's Bladerunner umbrella the Genie says "Granted!"

The temperature across the world becomes just perfect. Perfect for a small organism living beside a volcanic vent. Nothing else is too happy.

I wish that a perfectly cooked dinner would appear without me having to cook today.

Granted. Your cat enjoys it immensely.

I wish I had a new pair of shoes.

Granted!

You giant clown shoes are the envy of the whole circus fraternity. The way yours fall apart, like a clown car, every ten minutes gets even more laughs.

I wish that man would find benevolent intelligent life in our galaxy.

Granted. They are so benevolent they decide we can't take care of ourselves - so they enslave us.

I wish my favorite foods weren't fattening.

Granted!

All your food now makes you thinner. You waste away to nothing even as you eat to survive. A short career modelling for vogue doesn't make up for it really.

I wish that what I'd consider a perfect cup of tea appears safely on a nearby safe surface every time I click my fingers.

Granted! It's so perfect that it appears sealed in an airless transparent container which you can't open. I mean, why should we allow perfection to waste away?

Hope you enjoy looking at your collection of perfect tea.

I wish to live happily ever after with Blaze.

Granted! Of course "ever after" is only a few seconds after you have a blissful moment. At least it was over quickly so that the moment wasn't spoiled for you both. I'd hate to spoil the end of the fairytale moment with details, but it was very large and had wheels.

I wish travel was free.

Granted. The economies of many poor countries are ruined because they gain no more income from tourism.

I wish thothkins would stop granting my wishes by having me die. It's getting quite depressing.

Rubbish! The killer picnic ants would have put you in hospital but I'm sure you would have pulled through, albeit as a husk of the person you are now. And people like husky voices, so it's not all bad.

Genie finishes spending extra tourist money on the locals and gets back to work by saying Granted!

Not only does Ibby not die from the varied horrors that the world has to offer everyone else around him, but Ibby survives with a giant smile to avoid any depression.

Unfortunately after surviving the fifth tidal wave, with a cheesy grin, the locals are upset. They brick Ibby up where he spends the rest of eternity surviving the death of the universe contentedly.

It's tough for the other earthlings to make it through their misfortunes, but at least they don't have to see someone enjoying it.

I wish everyone could see what anyone else was doing at any given moment in a privacy free world.

Hi. I'd like to make a complaint to the wish fulfillment department please...

I really wish Nasty Genie wouldn't kill everyone that made a wish and would have more a sense of humor with his nastiness.

(1) An older couple are walking on a beach when the husband trips over a bottle and a genie appears. “You can each have one wish,” says the genie.
The wife makes her wish first “I would like to travel around the world, with my husband,”.
Suddenly there appears in her hand two tickets for travel around the world.
Now it's the husbands turn. “Well” says the husband, with a naughty look on his face “I wish I could have a younger companion,” .
The words are barely out of his mouth when poof, he ages twenty years.

(2) A man opened a bottle and a genie came out, “OK," the genie said what’s your wish” The man said “I want all ladies to love me”, and he turned into a bar of chocolate.

(3) A woman finds a genie in a lamp. “So how many wishes do I get?,” she asks.
“Well, that depends on the wishes,” says the genie. “Some wishes are harder than others…”
“Well, can you give me a ballpark figure?” asks the woman.
So he turns her into Yankee Stadium.