Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION The Anywhere Machine Zombie Apocalypse... of stupid people..

uuuugggghhhhhhhh... zooombieee want bbbbrrriiiaaaannnnnssssssss

Get a job!

zombie want brians?

well there are certainly a lot of brians here and out there in the world.

Actually, if I may, I would like to turn this into a serious discussion among the zombie folks.

(I know right, me turning a topic serious? It's obviously a sign of the zombie apocalypse)

But for reals, I have actually spent an embarassing amount of time dwelling on this subject...

WARNING: At this point I am officially taking a silly "I know it won't happen" subject and treating it as if it were a serious potential concern. Please keep the finger-pointing and laughing at a minimum if you can, this is a subject I am really fascinated by.

So, part of the reason I like living in a high-rise is because of a potential zombie uprising. Of course, such movies as Land of the Dead, Sean of the Dead and most especially Quarantine have shown that high-rise living is no true safeguard.

28 Days Later was a bit more favorable to the notion of high-rise living.

In my current apartment, I actually have a "zombie attack" escape route semi-planned.

Some zombie media have made a valid point that the undead would have a difficult time getting around both uphill and in cold weather, so I suppose if a zombie apocalypse happened and I was forced from my high-rise, I would head toward colder, more mountainous regions of the USA.

How about you?

(is really embarrassed)

.... bah! I would get my baseball bat and have a go at them!

the only ones that would be trouble are those 28 days later ones that rush at you.


but seriously, i have two dogs, apocalypses aren't dog friendly ... how am i supposed to escape the city with two dogs in tow? on leashes no less? my hands wouldn't be free. and one of these dogs is not very spritely!!

and the other is a monster ... he'd go barking and charging straight at the zombie hoard like he was ares god of war! not helpful for a stealthy escape.

i've actually thought about this. does a fema emergency shelter even allow dogs !?!?!


so i'd have to hole up in my fortess here ... ive got a front gate and some locked doors. lots of breakable windows. and maybe a half a can of spam to ration out.

although i'm very close to a lootable starbucks for ... coffee ... and those bad sandwiches they have.


it's not looking good for me. i have a lemon tree ... i could make lemon spam for about a week?

Heh--! I am so glad to see someone else admit they've actually thought about this.

Your pro-dog arguement actually makes for a good case against man's best friend in the event of a Z.A.

But I can also see protective dogs being a very big plus in the early days of the Z.A.

A few weeks ago on Facebook, there was a thing that told you to go to your friends list and check the top five names. They would be your team to fight against the Zombie Apocalypse. My team included Lash, Beagz, two guys here in Houston (both happen to be comics fans) and one of the sopranos from the choir I sing in. I figure the guys all learned to fight from reading comics--and Lash particularly had some expertise in this area--and, I don't know about anyone else, but I definitely want a soprano on my side (or at least, I don't want a soprano to be against me! )

Well, being from the south, I'm used to dealing with some slow people on occasion.

first, an offering of beer, particularly Bud, will slow many of them down as this appeals to lower brain functions. (glad to see some people got the stupid- brian/brain joke). Second, a broadcast of any football game will get the crowd gathered in one spot. This is essentially baiting, and while illegal on many hunts here in the south, I ain't gonna hesitate to use it. I'm crazy that way.

Next, we send out the cryers. These are the same people that hold up signs outside the prison when a guy that slaughtered an entire family for a donut and Dr. Pepper is about to meet his just rewards. (setting aside the real life concerns of possible faulty id without dna, and other things that raise legitimate concerns as to the identity of the real killer. This is zombie apocolypse, not CNN). While these people are rushing out to emote, they will serve as a distraction to the zombies that are seeing the game wind down, and the beer run out.

As the Cryers are being eaten, I will be perched in a lofty area, well stocked with multiple escape routes carefully rigged for a) maximum death of zombie dissemination and b)easy killfire zones.

I will then, with great glee and not the occasional stinging quip, quirky remark, and full on smart ass comment, calmly start to shoot. As I learned on wharfrats, it will be fun to see how many I can pick off before the crowd gets a good sense of things and begin to panic. In panic, there is confusion and profit, depending on your own personal bent.

Now, this is only the beginning of the plan. After having a bit of fun, I will of course be changing tactics and going all A team on their asses. I'll have a rig that I have specially designed with a nice cowcatcher on the front for to the running over of said zombies. I will of course come up with some catchy name for the truck, something like "Cow-pletely Asscrusher" or something like that.

Inside the trailer of the rig I will have hundreds of weapons and ammo that I will have looted from local walmarts and gun supply shots where the owners are already eaten, and therefor avoiding pesky theft laws.

Sam, being only a child at this stage, will be encouraged to learn to shoot with a shotgun, long rifle with hollowpoint loads, and oddly enough, a bb gun that fires carter's little liver pills. No reason they cant be killed cleanly.

And while all of this is fun, at some point, I'm gonna wanna make a big show. So, I figure a stadium, like Williams Bryce, where the Ungrateful Dead will be playing, will be a nice, large, spectacular point. I'll be mining it with Drano bombs and since we have some military bases nearby, as they are now all under zombie control, I'll pick up a missle or two, use the ordinance, and take out 30, maybe 40 thousand zombies at once.

Now, like lash, many of you would think high ground, particularly cold climes, might be a good way to stop a bunch of zombies.

Au Contraire, mon frere, you would be wrong. You see, much like computers, the brain will work better in chilly climes than hot, humidly oppressive climes. Heat slows down electrical activity, and it is this remnant of brain functions that drives the undead forward. This in turns makes for easy picken's.

So, rather than head up a mountain top where the now marginally smarter zombies are gonna head, I would instead find some small Island off the coast of SC down to florida, one with access control, and make it my base.


Grass skirts optional. For me. Not for Carol.

A lot of depends on the rules regarding dogs in the particular ZA. Do the zombies eat animals as well as humans, or are they only interested in humans? Can the dogs become zombies? Without knowing these facts, it's hard to access the situation.

Damian Wayne had a message for you....

I love Damien Wayne.

check out these two articles :

(if not seen already)

Top 5 reasons a Zombie Apocalypse could happen

http://www.cracked.com/article_1564...ie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

and top 7 reasons it would fail

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

apparently dead bodies explode? messy but not very effective at taking over the world.

Look up on youtube the dead whale exploding. nasty.

Ooooooh, zombie whales...

Lash, if this really happened...I'm toast. Live in a highly populated area and have children to defend...not a good combination in the end of the world scenario.

After the Zombi-clypse, party at my house for the dearly departed Lash and Dev. Too short for this world.

>sniff<

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Am I the only one who gets him confused with Damon Wayans?

I'm not a fan. Its why I voted to off Jason first go round. Snotty, snooty punks make's mah triggah hane itchy.

Well, I have spent time figuring out how to make a place defendable against the zombie hoard (both slow and fast varieties). On the other hand, I have also planned for defending against villagers with pitch forks and torches too... so what can you say.

Exactly. If the zombies are of the type in the remake of 'Dawn of the Dead' then I think dogs could be a good thing. If the zombies are of the types from 'Return of the Living Dead 2' or 'The walking Dead' then not so much so. And if the cause of zombies is contagious to other species like in the 'Resident Evil' movies or 'Bud the C.H.U.D.', then absolutely no pets at all!

The horror of the RESIDENT EVIL movies is greatly intensified for me because the animals can also become zombies.

IMO, if the animals become zombies too you might as well check yourself out permanently on your own terms. I think the "animals as zombies" scenario is just TOO terrible to contemplate.

I like (if you can really call it like) to think that whatever will re-animate the dead has to have a "people-sized" brain to work with...

I'm really sorry I started reading this thread.

And from what I've seen here so far, in the event of a ZA, I think I'd head toward rickshaw's place. He's got an amazing plan that probably took him 2.5 minutes to concoct, which means he'd be able to improvise on the fly.

'Course there's no guarantee that he'd be differentiating about who/what he shoots/explodes, so I might be runnin' to my own zombiehood.

Yeah, you pasty pale dude's better look out.

I am not going near Ric...

heh. Ain't skin cancer worth it fer a tan?

Not on your entire head.