 Previous Thread |
|
Next Thread 
|
|
 COMPUTER VS CAR
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274
Time Trapper
|
OP
Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 17,274 |
I received this from a friend who works for Lockheed Martin. Just thought it was amusing.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and! reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
|
|
|
Re: COMPUTER VS CAR
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,947
Don't Stop Peelieving
|
|
Don't Stop Peelieving
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,947 |
Choke on DEM uhh... apples, Billy-Boy!  
"Anytime a good book like this is cancelled, I hope another Teen Titan is murdered." --Cobalt
"Anytime an awesome book like S6 is cancelled, I hope EVERY Titan is murdered." --Me
|
|
|
Re: COMPUTER VS CAR
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,843
Time Trapper
|
|
Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,843 |
LOL!
But why not enjoy both... with the Knight Industries Two Thousand.
|
|
|
Re: COMPUTER VS CAR
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
|
|
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Some more:
11. Every time you turned on the radio, you'd get a virus alert message.
12. Upgraded gasoline would not work on models older than '98.
13. When you tried to disengage your security system, at times you'd get a message that said, "All circuits are busy. Please try again later."
|
|
|
Re: COMPUTER VS CAR
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853
Time Trapper
|
|
Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 16,853 |
If you kept your older model of car, you'd find that fewer and fewer roads allowed you access.
You'd have to periodically throw less-essential things out of your car - like back seats, radio, interior lights, high beams, spare tire - so you could access a few of those new roads.
And.... the president of GM would get pied in the face when he was in Belgium.
Holy Cats of Egypt!
|
|
|
|
Forums14
Topics21,021
Posts1,045,155
Legionnaires1,729
| |
Most Online53,886
Jan 7th, 2024
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
Posts: 196
Joined: October 2003
|
|
|
|
