Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION The Anywhere Machine Celebrating the pre-movie episodes of Transformers (and the Gobots, too), now with ongoing TF profiles

Not funny.

I would have preferred some comments on the original shows.

TRANSFORMERS: THE INSECTICON SYNDROME - Written by Douglas Booth

The Decepticons once again ally themselves with the Insecticons, even though it's doomed to failure. This time, the Insecticons consume a super new experimental form of energy, and become so powerful that they turn on the Decepticons, necessitating a temporary alliance between Optimus Prime and Megatron. One of my all-time favorite episodes, I've watched it more than almost any other pre-movie episode. The animation is great, the Autobots are a nice mix of old and new, and the musical cues are used especially well.

GOBOTS: SCOOTER ENHANCED - Written by Mark Young, from a story by Jeff Segal & Kelly Ward

The title pretty much says it all. If you like Scooter (I do not), then you'll enjoy seeing him use his newly-installed weapons and talking in a fake cowboy twang. If you like Small Foot (I do), you'll cringe at how ineffectual she is here. Otherwise, it's mediocre.

for Kid Prime.

<George Takei Voice>Oh My.</George Takei Voice>

TRANSFORMERS: DAY OF THE MACHINES - Written by David Wise

The Decepticons, their eyes on a fleet of oil tankers, reprogram a human-made super-computer, Torq III, to serve them. To get to Torq III, the Autobots must first overcome a squad of deadly drones. Once this is done, they foil the oil theft. This episode was a favorite of mine as a kid, because Hound, my favorite of the original 18 Autobots, helps save the day. But I have to admit it doesn't hold up very well, mainly because Wise's plotting is so busy yet so sloppy that there is little room for the show's usual saving grace of great character bits.

GOBOTS: TARNISHED IMAGE - Written by David Schwartz, from a story by Jeff Segal and Kelly Ward

The three main Renegades trick the three main Guardians into going off into deep space on a wild goose chase, then use holographic disguises to impersonate the three main Guardians and discredit them in the eyes of the humans. Unlike in this episode's Transformers counterpart, "Megatron's Master Plan", the Guardians aren't required by the plot to act like complete doofuses. Otherwise, it's strictly run-of-the-mill stuff.

TRANSFORMERS: MEGATRON'S MASTER PLAN (Part 1 of 2) - Written by Donald F. Glut

The Decepticons use disguises and deceit (including the manipulation of a crooked human politician) to discredit the Autobots and try to make themselves look heroic in the eyes of the humans. Apparently, the humans in the TF universe have very bad memories, because they conveniently forget all the mayhem and theft of energy resources that the Decepticons have committed. Even more painful for viewers in the normally stalwart Optimus Prime having to act stupid and submissive in the service of what passes for a plot. The Autobots are exiled to deep space, but once their ship has taken off, Megatron reprograms the ship via computer, setting a collision course with Earth's sun. To be continued...unfortunately.

GOBOTS: IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT GOBONAUTS - Written by Mark Young, from a story by Mark Young, Phil Harnage, Jeff Segal, and Kelly Ward

A promising premise -- an ancient evil GoBot is buried deep in South America -- comes up way short in execution. Dull, obvious, and slow paced, with a muddled attempt at Cy-Kill showing shades of grey. Somehow, this one really wowed me when I was a kid; I must have been in a generous mood that day.

TRANSFORMERS: MEGATRON'S MASTER PLAN (Part 2 of 2) - Written by Donald F. Glut

After the Autobots appear to be vaporized by the sun, the Decepticons reveal their true colors to the humans, leading to some major collateral damage followed by all humans being reduced to slave labor, the only halfway decent scenes in this whole sorry mess because it's hard not to feel that these gullible humans deserve it. Of course, the Autobots return hale and hearty and set the Decepticons retreating yet again after one of the dullest, most poorly choreographed large-scale battle scenes in the entire Transformers series. I can't quite decide whether or not this worse than the awful GoBots two-parter "Renegade Rampage".

GOBOTS: GAMEWORLD - Written by Michael Charles Hill

Given that he was the most consistently good writer to work on Transformers, it's disheartening that Hill's one GoBot script should be so cliche and humdrum. Basically, a group of Guardians and a group of Renegades are fighting each other in deep space when they're kidnapped by a powerful but stupid cosmic tyrant who forces them into gladiatorial combat. Weak designs and animation don't help any.

TRANSFORMERS: AUTO BERSERK - Written by Antoni Zalewski

One of the best episodes of the series' entire run. Red Alert (played by Michael Chain), the Autobots' Chief Security Officer, becomes even more paranoid than he already was after suffering an injury. He is then manipulated by Starscream, who has been abandoned by his fellow Decepticons, into breaking into the underground bunker where the Autobots have stored a super-weapon. Action and characterization are both plentiful, and the fact that Red Alert suffered his injury because his closest associate Inferno (played by Walker Edmiston) was placed in a damned-if-he-does-damned-if-he-doesn't situation makes it even better. A homoerotic final scene between the reconciled Red Alert and Inferno is the icing on the cake.

GOBOTS: WOLF IN THE FOLD - Written by Michael Reaves, from a story by Michael Reaves, Jeff Segal, and Kelly Ward

Does what it says on the tin -- there's a Renegade spy among the Guardians who is leaking sensitive information -- but, unfortunately, it doesn't do it very well. It's way too easy for the viewer to guess who the spy is, and when it turns out the Guardians were a step ahead of the Renegades the whole time, the whole story feels pointless.

TRANSFORMERS: CITY OF STEEL - Written by Douglas Booth

Infamous as the first of the Season 2 "Akom Trilogy" (episodes animated in Korea instead of Japan to cut costs, something which would unfortunately become more frequent in the series' post-movie era), this episode actually gets off to a promising start. The Decepticons invade New York City and quickly gain the upper hand by capturing Optimus Prime. Then they actually disassemble him! Unfortunately, from that point on, things get really goofy: a robot alligator in the sewers (no points for guessing what spare parts it's made of) and Devastator used for a lame King Kong homage. Ultimately forgettable.

GOBOTS: DEPTH CHARGE - Written by John Bates

It's a shame that Dive Dive (for those who need reminding, he's the Guardian who turns into a submarine) was only used in two episodes, because both of those episodes (the other is the previously reviewed "Cold Spell"), are way above average. This time around, the Renegades use an underwater fortress to capture cargo ships. Water Walk, this episode's Special Guest Renegade (he turns into a hydroplane) has a surprisingly cool voice and hints of an actual personality! And the Guardians actually come off as good strategists here! The only cringeworthy element is the pair of stereotypical South Pacific island natives who are only there as a plot device. Still, after the preceding string of mediocre-at-best episodes, this one's a tonic.

TRANSFORMERS: DESERTION OF THE DINOBOTS (Part 1 of 2) - Written by Earl Kress

This would have worked great as a done-in-one, but as a 2-parter it feels padded. The first installment is almost entirely setup, as Autobots and Decepticons alike begin to malfunction due to a lack on Earth of an element vital to them (leading to all sorts of amusing business, like Mirage assuming he's turned invisible when in fact he hasn't, and he gets clobbered). The Dinobots, who were built on Earth, are still fully functional, but they're on the outs with the Autobots, and Spike and Carly are forced to follow them to Cybertron. To its credit, the episode has a genuinely shocking cliffhanger where Shockwave appears to vaporize the humans just as they arrive on Cybertron.

GOBOTS: TRANSFER POINT - Written by Patrick Barry, from a story by Patrick Barry, Jeff Segal, and Kelly Ward

Old tropes like the alternate universe where everything is the reverse of our universe (i.e. the Guardians being evil and the Renegades being good) can be satisfying if there's a fresh spin on them. Unfortunately, this story is anything but fresh. Tired, turgid, unimaginative, and predictable, combined with some of the worst animation of the show's entire run, this episode is one of the low points of the series.

TRANSFORMERS: DESERTION OF THE DINOBOTS (Part 2 of 2) - Written by Earl Kress

Naturally, the cliffhanger turns out to be a red herring and only Carly's automobile is destroyed. She and Spike escape from Shockwave and get lost within the lower levels of Cybertron, where they meet up with Swoop, the only one of the Dinobots who hasn't been captured and reprogrammed to serve the Decepticons. This all sounds better than it is in its actual execution. There's plenty of nicely designed Cybertronian tech, and we get some of the Transformers backstory which will be expanded upon in future episodes. But the pace is so painfully sloooooooow that it's hard to stay engaged. I could also complain that Carly's ability to immediately master any kind of technology makes her a borderline Mary Sue, but I won't. Anyone who understands the psychology of a fangirl born before 1990 should be able to see where I'm coming from.

GOBOTS: STEAMER'S DEFECTION - Written by Drew Lawrence, based on a story by Jeff Segal, Kelly Ward, and Drew Lawrence

One of the positive aspects of this series was how the GoBots often changed sides, leaving the potential for shades of grey. Unfortunately, the general dearth of characterization often made it hard to care either way. That's why this episode is a pleasant exception. The title character, a Renegade named Steamer (he turns into a steamroller), feels the Renegades are going too far by endangering human lives, and defects to the Guardians. In a nice nod to realism, the Guardians don't immediately believe him, and he has to earn their trust. Bizarrely, Steamer wasn't an actual toy, he was created especially for the show, which underlines how underdeveloped most of the characters were. And, finally, I would be remiss not to point out that Steamer's name has inevitable toilet-humor connotations.

TRANSFORMERS: BLASTER BLUES - Written by Larry Strauss

Try as it may, this desperately unfocused episode doesn't even have the bare minimum plot foundation from which to hang its good-quality animation and well-executed action sequences. It doesn't help matters that the episode's nominal star, Blaster, comes off as an obnoxious twerp (he comes off better in some of the later episodes). And for those keeping track, the episode marks the debuts of Omega Supreme (voiced by Jack Angel in full Apache Chief from Super Friends mode), Astrotrain (also voiced by Angel), and Cosmos (voiced by Michael McConnohie.)

GOBOTS: THE GOBOT WHO CRIED RENEGADE - Written by Eric Lewald, from a story by Eric Lewald, Jeff Segal, and Kelly Ward

After a promising start with some decently executed action on Gobotron, this episode goes into a downward spiral as Scooter gets the spotlight yet again (you'd think the people producing the show would learn). Worse yet, this time around the other Guardians come off as stupid and brutish when Scooter unwittingly becomes the...well, read the title. And to add insult to injury, we get the latest annoying human ally of the Guardians, a young scientist named Billy. The reverse of the early Gobots episode "It's the Thought That Counts", which was excruciating until its decent action-packed ending.

TRANSFORMERS: A DECEPTICON RAIDER IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT - Written by Douglas Booth

Autobots Hoist & Warpath and Decepticons Starscream, Rumble, & Ravage accidentally time-travel to a land of knights and princesses and wizards. As a fan of these tropes and a fan of Starscream at his most over-the-top, I cut this episode a tiny bit of slack. But there's too much else that's just wrong: a little of Warpath goes a long way; the insipid princess falling in love with the "misguided" knight who kidnapped her is beyond creepy; and when Merlin finally appears, the best he can manage to conjure up is a handful of gunpowder.

GOBOTS: THE SEER - Written by Eric Lewald & Mark Edens

Hard to believe the same two writers would go on to write one of the best Gobots episodes, "The Third Column", because this one is just putrid. The title character, a blind boy with precognitive powers (real insensitive to call him a SEER) is the most nails-on-chalkboard human yet, and by the "happy ending", he's lost his precog powers and he's still blind. Plus, my favorite Guardian, Van Guard, ends up trapped in concrete and forgotten about by the other Guardians.

TRANSFORMERS: THE GOD GAMBIT - Written by Buzz Dixon

One of the most controversial episodes, due to the script's questioning of the institution of organized religion, using the inhabitants of a socially backward planet as a metaphor for the world we live in. It's worth noting that the writer is currently a born-again Christian, and I think it would be wrong to deny him the right to use his writing to wrestle with big questions. And either way, it's pretty damn gutsy for an 80s kids cartoon to take on such a topic. There's lots more to like here: the animation is exceptional, the warrior woman who leads the dissenters is an awesome character, Jazz gets arguably his best portrayal, and there's a cameo by my beloved Red Alert. The only thing about this episode that grates with me is that Astrotrain gets to lord it over Starscream, just because he was the newer toy.

GOBOTS: WHIZ KID - Written by Alfred A. Pegal

This episode certainly has its strong points: a big cast, and plentiful action and suspense. But it also has a fly in the ointment: the title character, an annoying tomboy techie who stupidly (albeit accidentally) helps the Renegades mind-control various Guardians. Thankfully, she's the last of the exponentially irritating humans on the show to be introduced.

TRANSFORMERS: THE CORE - Written by Dennis Marks

The second of the three Akom episodes, and by far the best, though that's really not saying much. The always-engaging Constructicons get plenty of lines, which is a good thing. What's more problematic is that the Autobots basically perform mind-slavery on the Constructicons. Some might defend that as the heroes being unusually proactive and aggressive, and they'd have a point, but given the context of the whole season, and the upcoming revelations about the Constructicons in the episode "The Secret of Omega Supreme", I find the Autobots actions rather troubling, personally.

GOBOTS: RING OF FIRE - Written by Michael Humm, based on a story by Jeff Segal, Kelly Ward, and Michael Humm.

If a GoBots episode can't be saved by the rare occurrence of Small Foot saving Leader-1's metallic bacon, then it's pretty much a hopeless waste of time (to add insult to injury, her rescue of him occurs off-screen!) Even worse, it's padded with scenes of South Pacific natives which are so wrong on so many levels that they make the portrayal of the two natives in "Depth Charge" look enlightened by comparison. Luckily, the next episode is the first installment of the five-part "Gobotron Saga", which is a turning point, quality-wise, for the show.

GOBOTS: THE GOBOTRON SAGA (PARTS 1-5) - Written by John Loy and Peter Anderegg with Jeff Segal and Kelly Ward

This one is going to take some explaining. GoBots continuity can charitably be described as a mess, and while this epic episode is inarguably an above-average potboiler, it's also one of the worst continuity offenders. It seems rather obvious it's supposed to take place immediately after the 5-part pilot episode, yet it wasn't originally aired until more than halfway through the season. Far braver souls than I have tried to put the show's episodes into some kind of cohesive order, but I think life's too short. So I'll focus on the story instead -- overall, the script is not a patch on Transformers' Season 3 premiere "Five Faces of Darkness" (the "Citizen Kane" of 80s TV animation 5-parters), but it does an efficient job of showcasing the new toys without coming off as an overlong commercial. There's plenty of meat on the reasonably sturdy bones of the plot, in which the Renegades captured at the end of the pilot episode break out and conquer GoBotron, forcing the Guardians to regroup on Earth to counter-attack and liberate GoBotron. There's lots more characters than in the pilot episode, even though most of them still don't have much personality -- the positive standouts are the trio of monster Renegades Scorp, Vamp, and Pincher, who are never quite this scary or this much of a threat in other episodes; the negative standout, sad to say, is the female Guardian Sparky, whose personality constantly changes to suit the plot...thankfully, the show's creators obviously realized this and made my girl Small Foot the go-to female Guardian. We also get some interesting backstory on GoBotron, and we're introduced to the GoBots humanoid progenitors, the Last Engineer and the Master Renegade. Unfortunately, the Master Renegade, after initially coming off as a real bad-ass, has to turn stupid for the plot to work. Still, "The GoBotron Saga" has plenty of good action sequences, and, most importantly, it's never boring.

TRANSFORMERS: MAKE TRACKS - Written by David Wise

My personal #1 favorite episode of Transformers, showcasing my #1 personal favorite Autobot, Tracks (voiced by Michael McConnohie). It wasn't easy back in the day being a Transformers fangirl, because almost all the characters were identified as male. Some promising female Autobots were seen for only one episode, then never again, while Arcee, the only recurring female Autobot (who debuted in the animated movie between s2 and s3) only showed any real spunk in the Season 3 premiere, "Five Faces of Darkness", being bland and ineffectual most of the time. So Tracks -- effete and flamboyant, yet no less of a warrior for that -- was a godsend to me, the Ziggy Stardust of Autobots! And the story itself is pretty good, too, featuring lots of guest stars plus a reasonably sturdy plot involving the Decepticons financing a car theft ring for raw materials to turn into robot drones. There's also an engaging new human character, Raul (voiced by Michael Chain), a street punk with a heart of gold who ends up befriending tracks and aiding the Autobots. Obviously, the show's creators knew they had captured lightning in a bottle, as this is one of the few s2 episodes to have a sequel, "Auto-Bop", which I'll get to down the line.

TRANSFORMERS: THE AUTOBOT RUN - Written by Donald F. Glut

The last and least of the s2 Akom episodes, in which the Decepticons' device-of-the-week causes most of the Autobots to get stuck in their car forms. Even this episode's writer has nothing good to say about it.

TRANSFORMERS: THE GOLDEN LAGOON - Written by Dennis Marks

In the middle of an idyllic forest on Earth lies a pond filled with Electrum, a golden liquid that can make any robot invulnerable. Solid animation and wall-to-wall action keep this episode watchable, despite more and bigger plot holes than usual, and a ham-fisted, hypocritical hippie message at the end.

TRANSFORMERS: QUEST FOR SURVIVAL - Written by Reed Robbins & Peter Salas

Mindlessly vicious alien plants follow an Autobot deep-space expedition back to Earth, wreaking predictable havoc. As with this episode's immediate predecessor, good animation and good pacing keeps the story afloat, but it loses points for a terrible ending reminiscent of the GoBots episode "Sentinel" -- roughly, if Earth is threatened by a genocidal menace, just sent it to another corner of space to commit genocide there. Groan.

TRANSFORMERS: THE SECRET OF OMEGA SUPREME - Written by David Wise

One of the most well-written episodes of Transformers, it's also one of the worst-animated. I'm talking Akom-level bad animation. But the sturdy script and the exceptional voice acting still make this a cut above the rest. We learn the origins of Omega Supreme and the Constructicons, and the bitter enmity between the giant Autobot and the Decepticon combiner team. Shades of gray have rarely been grayer on the pre-movie Transformers than in this episode, and while the aforementioned characters are the stars, there's also great character work from Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen's voice is even more authoritative than usual) and fun cameos from Tracks, Beachcomber, and others. Only the hardest of hearts will fail to be moved by this episode, in my humble opinion.

TRANSFORMERS: CHILD'S PLAY - Written by Beth Bornstein

Absolutely vile. A rule of thumb with 80s TV cartoons is that any episode where the main characters either get shrunken or end up in a world of giants is totally lame. This one is no exception, in fact I'd call it Exhibit A. Possibly my least favorite of all 98 episodes.

GOBOTS: PACIFIC OVERTURES - Written by Jina Bacaar, from a story by Jina Bacaar, Jeff Segal, and Kelly Ward

Cy-Kill shocks everyone by proposing a peace treaty to the Guardians. Crasher gets lots of good lines as the naysaying counterpart to Cy-Kill, but otherwise this episode is a dud. Leader-1 is required by the plot to be a total doofus, and while it's obvious all along that Cy-Kill is playing the Guardians for fools (except for Turbo, who probably comes off better here than in any other episode), when his plan is finally revealed, it's predictable and lame.

TRANSFORMERS: THE GAMBLER - Written by Michael Charles Hill

There was no reason to expect an episode which picks up immediately where "Child's Play" left off to be anything more than forgettable, but this is truly a pleasant surprise. The group of Autobots returning to Earth from the planet of giants is captured by a cosmic wheeler-dealer named Bosh (voiced by John Stephenson) who ends up teaming with Smokescreen (voiced by Jack Angel) to try to replenish his supply of energy. There's lots of neat stuff here: a gambling planet, organic monster gladiators, an alien crime lord and his sniveling lackey, and a badass Autobot bounty hunter, Devcon (also voiced by John Stephenson). A good rather than great episode due mainly to the mediocre animation, but good nonetheless.

GOBOTS: DESTROY ALL GUARDIANS - Written by Donald F. Glut

The Renegades take control of Godzilla, Rodan, and Barugon analogs. A premise like that guarantees a good episode, right? Wrong. Mediocre animation and sloppy plotting do this one in from the start. If Cy-Kill were an arch-villain worth his salt, he'd have transported the monsters to GoBotron to wreak havoc; instead, he has them attack Tokyo -- yawn. The brief sequence of the Guardians' giant Power Warrior combiner battling the giant monsters is as close as this one has to any redeeming qualities.

TRANSFORMERS: THE SEARCH FOR ALPHA TRION - Written by Beth Bornstein

This episode is a firm favorite of mine, but it's got a lot of dubious elements below the pleasurable surface. First, the good: I adore the ass-kicking female Autobots introduced here, especially their leader, Elita-1 (voiced by Marlene Aragon, Synergy on "Jem" and Cheetah on "Super Friends"); I love that Starscream gets to say the line, "How fitting that the Decepticons have finally captured Optimus Prime under MY leadership"; the wise old male Autobot Alpha Trion (voiced by John Stephenson) is a nice addition to the Transformers mythos; it pleases me that the episode takes place mostly on Cybertron, a rarity for Season 2; and except for one shot where the background artist apparently forgot to draw a giant vat of acid, the animation is mostly exceptional. Where the episode fails is in giving a credible rationale for the existence of the female Autobots and their place in the mythos beyond that hoary old sexist cliché, "It's too dangerous for a girl/woman/female." Shame that the show's writers never seemed to work that out -- I think it should have been a non-issue, as it was with the GoBots writers.

GOBOTS: ESCAPE FROM ELBA - Written by Lee Yuro and Linda Yuro

The ne plus ultra of well-plotted, well-written GoBots episodes. It's not my sentimental favorite, but objectively it might be considered the series' best episode. The unusually proactive Guardians set a trap for Cy-Kill that actually works, the Renegades are utterly cunning both in deputy leader Fitor's plan to rescue Cy-Kill and in Cy-Kill's own efforts to escape imprisonment, the pace is good, the action is plentiful, and the animation is adequate. I believe every GoBot lover and GoBot hater alike should watch this episode, the former to reaffirm their love, the latter to reconsider their hate.

TRANSFORMERS: AUTO-BOP - Written by David Wise

Despite its inane premise -- the Decepticons are using a trendy discotheque to hypnotize people into building something whose purpose remains unrevealed by the end -- this episode makes my personal Top 10 thanks to outstanding animation, voice acting, and characterization. A small cast -- Tracks, Blaster, Starscream, Soundwave, Tracks' street kid friend Raul, two friends of Raul's, and a cameo by Megatron -- insures that there's plenty of golden banter and everyone has a distinctive voice. Despite having been made in the 80s, its effortless, left-of-center charms are more in keeping with vintage Silver Age comics...and, come to think of it, 80s animation has always been my personal equivalent of The Silver Age of Comics. So it all adds up.

GOBOTS: FITOR TO THE FINISH - Written by Donald F. Glut, from a story by Jeff Segal, Kelly Ward, and Donald F. Glut

A very good episode which suffers only from the proximity of its airdate to "Escape from Elba", with which it shares plot similarities. Here, it's Fitor who is captured by the Guardians, leading Cy-Kill to take extreme measures to get back his most loyal lieutenant. Fitor's steadfast commitment to the Renegade cause, as twisted as it is, comes off as almost admirable, though it once again has the questionable effect of showing up the Guardians as the namby-pambies most of them usually are in this series.

TRANSFORMERS: PRIME TARGET - Written by Flint Dille & Buzz Dixon

Although it's always fun to see Optimus Prime strut his stuff as the ultimate good-guy bad-ass, surely there could have been a better way to showcase it than this goofy, badly animated variation on "The Most Dangerous Game." Here, a stereotypically pompous British big game hunter captures several Autobots to use as bait to lure his quarry, Optimus Prime, onto his trap-laden private compound. Dille and Dixon were both writers capable of much better ("Five Faces of Darkness" and "The God Gambit", respectively.)

GOBOTS: CLUTCH OF DOOM - Written by Eric Lewald, based on a story by Jeff Segal, Kelly Ward, and Eric Lewald

A human scientist invents a device which can compress millions of humans into a small globe. Predictably, the Renegades steal the device and use it to take the Earth's entire population hostage so that Cy-Kill can gain supreme power over Gobotron. Not so predictably, there is a genuinely shocking moment when Cy-Kill appears to destroy one of the globes, and another when Leader-1 appears to destroy the rest of the globes. Predictably again, this being an 80s cartoon, the destroyed globes were all fakes and the Earth's population is restored to normal by the end, and Gobotron's Council of Guardians is back in power by the end. Not a terrible episode, but not one with much of a point, either.

TRANSFORMERS: THE GIRL WHO LOVED POWERGLIDE - Written by David Wise

If "Child's Play" is the dumbest Transformers episode, this one is the most stridently offensive. Powerglide was a bad choice for a spotlight, as a little bit of this loud-mouthed glory hound always goes a long way in other episodes. And he comes off really badly here, especially when he actually swats away the title female character. This being kid's animation, she survives without a scratch, but the very act is unforgivable. Regarding her, this spoiled upper-middle-class heiress is truly a fingernails-on-chalkboard character who is more typical of human characters from GoBots than human characters from Transformers. I get the feeling that Wise and the story editors thought they were doing the robot-adventure-cartoon equivalent of a Golden Age screwball comedy, but the results are sickening.

GOBOTS: THE THIRD COLUMN - Written by Eric Lewald & Mark Edens

Near-unanimously regarded by GoBots fandom as one of the series' best episodes, this one spotlights a crafty Renegade named Zero, who converts into a Japanese WWII fighter plane, but thankfully does not have a stereotypical accent. Zero is of the opinion that he'd make a better leader than Cy-Kill, and looking at Cy-Kill's track record, it's hard to disagree with him. A few Renegades go off with Zero, who has hatched an elaborate master plan to pit Cy-Kill and Leader-1 against each other while GoBotron is thrown into chaos. And damned if Zero doesn't come close to succeeding -- the final shot of him laughing evilly to himself as he vows that we haven't seen the last of him is blood-chilling. Sadly, Zero only appears in one other episode, and it's in a flashback. Then, too, this episode sets the bar very high, so perhaps it's better there was no follow-up (outside of fan fiction, of course.)

TRANSFORMERS: TRIPLE TAKEOVER - Written by Larry Strauss

An odd duck of an episode, simultaneously more intense (a handful of Autobots get crushed by Blitzwing in tank form, and Blitzwing also threatens to splatter a human against a wall) and more juvenile (Blitzwing's and Astrotrain's separate campaigns to become Decepticon leader are utterly inane) than usual. What leaves an especially sour taste for me is when Megatron crushes Starscream's fingers and forces him to say, "I'm stupid." Did I mention that Starscream is my favorite Decepticon? Oh, and of course, the crushed Autobots get better by episode's end.

GOBOTS: A NEW SUIT FOR LEADER-1 - Written by Reed Robbins & Peter Salas

The Renegades actually succeed in turning Leader-1 evil and joining them, but the joke's on Cy-Kill when the now-egomaniacal Leader-1 usurps the Renegade leadership, so Cy-Kill reluctantly gives the Guardians the means to restore the status quo. Great idea, which would probably have been well-executed by a modern cartoon, but the potential implications would have been too dark for an 80s cartoon, so we're left with a rather "meh" episode.

TRANSFORMERS: SEA CHANGE - Written by Douglas Booth

Seaspray leads a small group of Autobots to a planet tyranically ruled by a robot who absorbs energy from its native humanoid inhabitants (and who turns out to answer to the Decepticons.) The natives have a secret wishing well that can transform them into mer-people among other things. Seaspray falls hard for the warrior woman Talaria, leader of the resistance. Widely derided by narrow-minded fanboys who find it all too girly or whatever, this is actually one of my favorite episodes. Seaspray is IMO one of the most adorable Autobots, what with his blue, white, and yellow color scheme and the "glub-glub" effect on his voice. The animation could be better for sure, but by this time Toei's best animators, designers, and storyboard artists had been put to work on the Transformers movie, and the look of the TV series suffered considerably.

GOBOTS: RENEGADE CARNIVAL - Written by Carla Conway

Robot adventure cartoons from the 80s rarely dabble into meta-commentary, but it's hard not to interpret Scooter's quip to Cy-Kill near the end, "This was your dumbest plan yet," as the writer throwing up her arms and giving up on what she already knows will not go down in history as the best GoBots script. For all that, I don't think it's that bad an episode. The animation's adequate, and there's some good action sequences. Even the inane premise -- the Renegades using a carnival as a front for evil activities -- pays off in one hilarious scene where Cop-Tur scares the piss out an obnoxious little boy who drops his ice-cream cone on him. More disappointing is the treatment of Myra the precognitive, who makes a surprisingly good first impression for a human character on GoBots, but ends up a damsel in distress.