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TRASH LASS, GIRL GARBAGE COLLECTOR # 3


PAGE 1


*depicts TL and She-He surrounded by officers, one of which is stating the title in an oversize dialogue-bubble:

"You're going DOWN, Trash Lass!"

PAGE 2

Panel 1

Trash Lass: But we didn't DO anything...!

Panel 2

officer: We received a 911 call about a riot going on here! Hands to the sky!

Panel 3

caption: Dangit all!

*She-He raising hands*

Panel 4

*closeup on She-He's bracelet firing one of those grappling-cord thingies*

Panel 5

*She-He. embracing Trash Lass*

Panel 6

*She-He and Trash Lass rising as officers look on flabbergasted*

PAGE 3

Panel 1

*She-He and Trash Lass stuck against the ceiling*

Panel 2

*Officers laughing*

Panel 3

Officer: Way to go, dumb-ass!

Panel 4

She-He: I guess I should have thought that through more.

Trash Lass: You tried, She-He... and for that I thank you.

Panel 5

officer: Now you two just, heh-- hang tight... heh heh... while we fetch a ladder and the tasers...

Panel 6

Trash Lass, caption: How will I ever explain this to my parents...?

PAGE 4

Panel 1

*officers milling about*

random officer: "Hang tight"... you crack me up!

officer from page 3, panel 5: It just, y'know, CAME to me...!

Panel 2

*all officers (6 male, 2 female) stiffen*

Panel 3

Trash Lass *still hanging from ceiling with She-He*: uh oh... I've seen THAT before...!

Panel 4

She-He: *whispering* Don't say a word.

PAGE 5

Panel 1

*Big Siren, along with the 2 garbagemen who carried her out last issue, enters*

Big Siren: It is I-- BIG SIREN-- returned to enact my reven-- Huh?

Panel 2

Big Siren: Wow, there's a lot of police here now...

Panel 3

female officer: You are... so stunning...

Panel 4

Big Siren: *surprised* What?!?

Panel 5

other female officer: I... love you...

first female officer: I love you... even more...

Panel 6

Big Siren: Ooooooh! I get it... *titter* it's a 'Cagney and Lacey' thing...

PAGE 6

Panel 1

Big Siren: And what about you boy cops? Anyone playing for the other team?

Panel 2

*one officer-- very handsome-- shaking his head as if trying to wake up*

Panel 3

handsome officer: Lady, who the hell are--

Panel 4

Big Siren: SHOOT HIM, SLAVES!

Panel 5

*other 7 officers shoot handsome officer*

Panel 6

*Trash Lass and She-He, still hanging above, horrified expressions*

TL caption: Good God!

PAGE 7

Panel 1

Big Siren: Obviously that blonde whore and her disgusting female-impersonating ally have fled.

Panel 2

*Big Siren notices Greg Pegues among the still-unconscious Sanitation workers*

Panel 3

Big Siren: *to her 2 still-mesmerized garnagemen* YOU TWO! Carry Mr Pegues with us!

Garbagemen: Yes, my Siren!

Panel 4

Big Siren: *to officers* And you lot-- I've always wanted a police escort!

officer: We will ensure your safety, oh gorgeous one!

Panel 5

Big Siren: See that you do, idiot! Let us be away! I must plot my revenge against those that attacked me!

caption: My mind-slaves from before... all unconscious... lesbian women, also subject to my will-- this weird power has so many variables and unknowns I still must learn about! All in due time, I suppose...

PAGE 8

Panel 1

*B.Siren & others exiting*

Big Siren: Hurry up, morons! You will find me somewhere lavish to rest up for... REVENGE!

Panel 2

*door slamming shut*

Panel 3

*shot of unconscious Sanitation workers*

Panel 4

*shot of dead police officer*

Panel 5

*shot of Trash Lass and She-He, still dangling against the ceiling*

PAGE 9

Panel 1

Trash Lass: We need to get down from here!

Panel 2

She-He: Can do... going down!

Panel 3

*She-He and Trash Lass land as grappling-cord bracelet extends again*

Panel 4

Trash Lass: This-- this is a disASTER! That officer was gunned down in cold blood...! And how the hell did the officers even KNOW... even GET HERE so fast...?

Panel 5

She-He: *trying to revive Catfish* That's... that's my fault... I made the 911 call... Told them that an omega-heroine named Trash Lass was in trouble... I thought I was trying to help, but...

Panel 6

Trash Lass: Who ASKED for your help? I sure didn't! And now that officer is dead... the police know Trash Lass EXISTS...! Oh, and I suppose we shouldn't neglect to mention all the people KIDNAPPED by Big Siren! Way to HELP, She-He.

She-He: *obviously distressed* I'm... I'm sorry...!

PAGE 10

Panel 1

Catfish: *oooOOooooh*

She-He: He's waking up!

Panel 2

Trash Lass: They ALL are-- thank God!

Panel 3

*shot of various Sanitation officers stirring*

Panel 4

Trash Lass: I've gotta go! I've got to take a shower-- wash the stink of this... this awful mess off of me and figure out what to do next!

Panel 5

She-He: But, TL...!

Trash Lass: I'm sorry too, She-He... but I've got to go. Shower. Shower.

Panel 6

*door slams*

She-He: Trash Lass!

caption: Well, shoot. Guess I better re-Bobofy before everyone comes fully to.

PAGE 11

*full page splash, a shower scene; lots of steam but some long blonde hair should be visible*

white caption: You tellin' me she even showers in it...?

brown caption: Yeah...

PAGE 12

Panel 1

*Henpecker, in full chicken costume sopping wet, emerges from shower

Henpecker: BCAW!

Panel 2

Pustule: That's just... gross, y'know? Weird.

Vermin: Like we should talk.

Panel 3

*Henpecker enters room, has towel now draped around herself/chicken costume, and a towel wrapped around the head of her chicken costume*

Henpecker: You two aren't saying anything impudent, are you? BCAW!

Pustule: Of course not. Just watching the news.

Panel 4

*TV Screen*

reporter: ...we spoke with city of Memphis Sanitation employee Catfish Thompson about this morning's events...

Panel 5

*TV screen*

Catfish: It was a big mess, I tell ya-- that fat Pickles did it... and now G.P.'s gone, and that hot white girl too! Pickles got 'em!

Panel 6

*TV screen*

Reporter: And in answer, all brands of all pickles have been recalled from the tri-state area. We repeat-- avoid any and all pickles until further notice. Back to you, Gwen...

Panel 5

Henpecker: Put that on America's Next Top Model! Unless you want to be pecked! BCAW!

Pustule: Fine, but hurry and dry yourself. We have a caper to pull tonight... and from what I hear, the one we're going after is drowning in impudence!

Panel 6

Henpecker: Must peck! WILL peck! BCAW!

Pustule: Oh there will be much pecking... much pecking indeed...

PAGE 13

Panel 1

TV Screen: Thank you, Tim. Despite today's happenings, regular garbage pickup is scheduled to resume this week. And now it's time for action weather with Dave Brown...

Panel 2

caption: And, in her midtown apartment, Brenda Fleer AKA Trash Lass has just witnessed the same news broadcast...

*Brenda in robe, having just showered*

pink caption: Catfish's memories were too fogged to explain himself clearly... and no mention of Trash Lass. That's good.

Panel 3

*Brenda rising*

pink caption: But the way I spoke to She-He... that's NOT good.

Panel 4

*in bedroom*

pink caption: Maybe I'll pay Bobo a visit tonight at his... night job. I need to apologize.

Panel 5

*Brenda dressing*

pink caption: And I need to talk to him about the Big Siren situation. We've got a boss to rescue.

PAGE 14

Panel 1

caption: suburbia...

*depicts a nice home; 4 police cars parked in front*

Panel 2

*pictures a regular car pulling up to house*

Panel 3

*picutres a lady in car that has pulled up*

caption: Oh, DAMN it!

Panel 4

*lady exiting car*

caption: If Joey's brought all his meathead friend over AGAIN to watch the game, expecting ME to cook for 'em all after working all day...

Panel 5

*opening front door*

caption: ...I'll KILL him!

Panel 6

*front door closed*

word balloon from house: NNNNnnOOOOOOOO!

PAGE 15

Panel 1

Big Siren: Excellent, my mesmerized minion!

male officer: Thank you... my love.

Panel 2

*shot of lady, lying dead*

word balloon (Big Siren's): Now dispose of her corpse... put it in the attic or soemthing... I don't want to have to look at it!

Panel 3

Big Siren: (to her 2 garbagemen, now shirtless and wearing shorty-shorts) Come with me, it's time to visit Mr. Pegues.

garbageman: yes... ma'am...

Panel 4

*the 3 entering a bedroom*

Big Siren: Mr. Pegues, sir? It's me, Josie...

Panel 5

*ropes lie loosely on an empty bed*

panel 6

big Siren: *enraged* FIND HIM, YOU FOOLS! FIND HIM AND BRING HIM TO ME!

PAGE 16

Panel 1

*shot of Crossroads, the bar Bobo performs in*

caption: Good old Crossroads...

Panel 2

*Brenda exiting her convertible*

caption: So glammed up since those new owners took over...

Panel 3

Bartender: Stella? Stella Longstocking?

brenda: Excuse me?

Panel 4

Bartender: My bad... you reminded me of someone who used to work here... what'll you have?

Brenda: Diet coke, please. And I'm actually looking for someone who does work here... Bobo Jones?

Panel 5

Bartender: I don't know any Bobo.

Brenda: Jenny Tellya.

Panel 6

Bartender: Jenny? Oh, she's in the dressing room... first show's about to start!

Panel 7

Brenda: Good, good...

PAGE 17

Panel 1

*shot of stage*

announcement from speaker: It's showtime here at Crossraods-- And now, the femme of fame, the gal with no shame-- JENNY TELLYA!

Panel 2

*Bobo as Jenny enters stage, carrying mic*

Panel 3

Bobo/Jenny: Oh, ya'll so crazy. I gots plenty of shame, Mama made sure of that!

Panel 4

*audience, including Brenda, giggling*

Panel 5

Bobo/Jenny: Let's open the show with a little number by a lady whose very last name destined her for greatness... Gloria GAYYYYYYnor!

Panel 6

*deptics a bright flash of light onstage beside Bobo/Jenny*

Bobo/Jenny: What the---!

PAGE 18

Panel 1

*Vermin, Pustule and Henpecker along with a fourth female are now standing onstage*

Panel 2

*Bobo/Jenny is engulfed with pus*

Bobo/Jenny: GROSS..!

Panel 3

*Brenda rushes stage*

Brenda Back off, freaks...!

Panel 4

*Vermin punches Brenda*

Panel 5

Henpecker: BCAW! That's the way to treat the impudent, Vermin!

Vermin: Yeah...

Panel 6

Pustule: We have him... her... whatever! Snatch, let us beggone!

Panel 7

The Snatch: Gather closely...

Panel 8

*light flash envelops the 4 and Bobo/Jenny*

PAGE 19

Panel 1

*stage is now empty*

Panel 2

*audience looks shocked*

Panel 3

*audience now clapping, smiling*

random patron: WOW-- Jenny went all-OUT for that! Drag and magic... cool!

patron, in response: They even brought back Stella Longstocking for it!

Panel 4

*Brenda, on floor rubbing face*

Panel 5

*Brenda, exiting*

pink caption: Well, THIS sucks!

patron: Bye, Stella!

Panel 6

*Brenda getting in car*

pink caption: They've made the mistake of their damned lives now!

PAGE 20

Panel 1

caption: and back in suburbia...

officer: Mr. Pegues is... not in this house... mon cherie...

Panel 2

Big Siren: You stupid dumb apes let him get away! Well, he couldn't have gotten far! Hurry UP! Everyone to the Siren-Mobiles! We must find him!

Panel 3

*living room window smashed into by soldiers*

Big Siren: EEEEEK!

Panels 4 and 5

*soldiers shooting all officers
and the two entranced garbagemen*

Panel 6

*Big Siren, cowering*

word balloon: UP, sow!

Big Siren: You... you are in my power...!

Panel 7

*soldiers unmask, revealing females*

Soldier: Not us! Now get UP!

Panel 8

Big Siren: Aren't... ANY of you lesbians?

Panel 9

*Big Siren kicked in face*

PAGE 21

Panel 1

*Brenda's covertible pulls up to her highrise*

pink caption: They've stepped over the line now!

Panel 2

*Brenda enters apartment*

pink caption: I'm going to find them...

panel 3

*bedroom door closes*

pink caption: ...and I'm going to...

Panel 4

*bedroom door opening*

pink caption: ...kick their...

Panel 5

pink caption: ...ASSES!

*panel depicts Trash Lass in different, all-badass costume*

PAGE 22

Panel 1

*A lightflash signals the arrival of the agents of G.A.R.B.A.G.E. with the captured She-He*

Panel 2

Pustule: Success, boss! We have the one called... Savage She-He!

Panel 3

Shadowy figure: I see enlisting the aid of my old ally The Snatch was a very good idea.

The Snatch: My aid is yours whenevr you ask. Farewell for now.

Panel 4

*lightflash, the Snatch fades*

She-He: What do you bastards want ME for...?

Panel 5

*Henpecker pecks She-He with beak*

Henpecker: SILENCE, impudent one! Right, boss?

Panel 6

Shadowy figure: *sigh* Right, Henpecker. Now, my dear She-He... once my contacts were able to piece together just who you were, I knew G.A.R.B.A.G.E. could USE you...

Panel 7

She-He: For WHAT?

Shadowy firgure: Why, for bait, dear...

Panel 8

*shaodwy figure is revealed; it is Gregory Pegues, smiling smugly*

Mr. Pegues: ...bait to capture... TRASH LASS!


NEXT ISSUE BLURB!

What the HELL is going on here?

You don't want to miss next issue, where at least SOME of it will be explained in: "Here there be... ORIGINS!"

TRASH LASS GGC # 4

PAGE 1

*splash page, depicts The Homies in battle stances*

caption: The year 1997...

The Snatch: Maybe I'd better get us out of here...!

Homeboy: NO way, Snatch! Don't dare 'port us out... this is the score of a lifetime!

Doubledare: TWICE the score, Homeboy! We net this freakshow for the public and raid her treasure for us!

Freaksmasher: Yeah, Doubledare, she's a freakshow alright... and Freaksmasher's gonna bust 'er up!

GoodBad Girl: Ick! I'm not going NEAR her!

Homeboy: You don't have to with YOUR ability, GoodBad Girl...


*credits/title along bottom: HERE THERE BE ORIGINS!

PAGE 2

Panel 1

*Junebug, blood from corner of mouth, looking all fearsome; the corpse of an eaten-on victim should be visible*

Junebug: Yum! I don't recall ordering McNuggets but I appreciate the delivery!

Panel 2

Homeboy *looking all mad*: It's time to pay for your crimes, Junebug!

Panel 3

*Homeboy looking shocked/scared*

Panel 4

*Junebug is on him, taking a bite out of... wherever*

Homeboy: ArrrrRRRrrgh!

Panel 5

*Freaksmasher punches Junebug away from Homeboy*

Freaksmasher: Get OFFA him, bitch!

Panel 6

*a piece of Homeboy's flesh hanging from mouth*

Junebug: DeeeeeLISH.

PAGE 3

Panel 1

*the Snatch and GoodBad Girl have come to aid Homeboy in foreground; Junebug & F-Smasher fighting in rear view*

Snatch: Tear off a piece of your cloak, we gotta stop that bleeding...!

GoodBad Girl: ...SO GROSS...!!!

Homeboy: ...urrrk...

Panel 2

*Doubledare to GB Girl*

DDare: For God's sake, Hannah, SWITCH her! SWITCH her!

Panel 3

GoodBad Girl: I already TRIED! The second we GOT here, like I always DO! It doesn't WORK on her... she's immune! TOO evil...!

Homeboy: ...uuurhhhh...

Panel 4

Freaksmasher: Hey, @$$holes! A little help here?

panel 5

*Junebug finally getting a bite of Freaksmasher*

F-Smasher: AAAAAAHHHHH!