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Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997692 01/28/21 05:22 PM
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609. Nobody thought my using fabric softener sheets as a weapon was useful for a group who all got their powers from static cling.

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997761 01/29/21 09:48 PM
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space mutineer & purveyor of quality sammitches
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610. Brought back the 1930s Superman tradition of hurling oligarchs off the tops of tall buildings.


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on DeviantArt! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997780 01/30/21 01:09 PM
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611. Had to keep stopping mid-flight for toilet breaks. Dang my tiny bladder!

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997790 01/30/21 01:30 PM
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612. Severed ties with a president of my own country while happily accepting endorsements and promotions form countries with appalling human, womens and LGBTQ rights records.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997793 01/30/21 02:25 PM
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613. I had the wrong date in my calendar for the tryouts and missed the opportunity to show them how I can make tapioca pudding answer my call to battle.

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997798 01/30/21 03:21 PM
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>choke< That Tapioca Teen... could have been one of us!

614. My deity given powers didn't happen to be from the predominant deity in the area I was trying to protect. I was labelled Heretic Lad and exiled.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997801 01/30/21 03:35 PM
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Long live the Legion!
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615. My deity granted powers stopped working when it was conclusively proven to me that there never was an ancient Egyptian god of Mexican Wrestling...


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Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997802 01/30/21 03:55 PM
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616. I wanted to go through a Mod phase.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997818 01/30/21 08:51 PM
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617. I was born under a wandering star, so it would take 923 light years just to get to legion headquarters.


Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!

Something pithy!
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997839 01/31/21 04:43 AM
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618. Kept dropping things clumsily while flying. Last time I nearly killed my city's mayor while flying overhead and dropping my backpack...

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997844 01/31/21 09:42 AM
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619. My secret city HQ was in a highly sought after area of the city, so I sold it to property developers.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997847 01/31/21 10:49 AM
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620. My all seeing eye is located in my belly button so when they said I would have to wear a onesie that would cover it, I realized I would be "Third Eye Blind".

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997858 01/31/21 12:08 PM
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621. I wasn't allowed to wear political statements on my costume. Bandwagon jumping political statements were fine though.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997872 01/31/21 01:52 PM
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622. As the last living descendant of the Knights Who Say "Ni!", I found that my teammates would not stop saying that accursed word and went back to tending to my shrubberies.

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997874 01/31/21 02:45 PM
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623. It turned out that fast fists and a domino mask wasn't enough to break the will of the third reich. Some parachute training would have helped too.


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997882 01/31/21 05:22 PM
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624. I didn't vote to impeach

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997884 01/31/21 06:10 PM
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Long live the Legion!
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625. My ability to animate snow and ice turned out to not be that useful in southern California...


Wrapped Around Your Finger now complete in BITS!
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997905 02/01/21 04:19 AM
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626. I never smiled. Great for fighting villains, not so great for photoshoots and meet-and-greets and kissing babies...

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997907 02/01/21 09:04 AM
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627. The abilities to cause bobby soxers to faint while I crooned was not very useful on the frontlines, but I did win six Grammies and have three platinum records for Decca Records.

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997921 02/01/21 01:29 PM
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628. I spent too much time doing my hair and makeup and choosing my costume before actually racing to emergencies.

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997925 02/01/21 05:12 PM
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629. I smiled too much and my Earth-424242 was stuck in the 90s grim and gritty heroes so everyone just wondered what I was up to. (Also my chest wasn't twice the size of a normal humans.)

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997933 02/02/21 02:55 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
space mutineer & purveyor of quality sammitches
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630. Dandruff.

shocked


Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on DeviantArt! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997944 02/02/21 05:42 AM
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631. The underwear outside my suit kept riding up into places it shouldn't

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997947 02/02/21 01:29 PM
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632. I didn't have a tragic back story, the worse thing that ever happened to me was my best friend who lived next door moved...to one street over.

Re: Why I couldn't be the hero...
rickshaw1 #997953 02/02/21 03:58 PM
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Long live the Legion!
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633. My origin story / power source was deemed to set a bad example. I mean, Captain America got his power from steroids, and why does Spider-Man get to be the only one to have a special relationship with Mary-Jane? - Captain Spliff


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