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Topic: CANDIDATES Summer 2006 BREAKDOWN: Who's Who & What's What

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
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posted

As Director of External Affairs (tm), it was my duty to try to flush out Dominion spies before the election. If you'd read my confidential executive report like a responsible candidate, you'd know that.

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lucifer Lass
Applicant
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posted

I thought there were supposed to be additional polls? How am I supposed to rebel against the mainstream if I don't have pollsters telling me what the mainstream opinion is?

Registered: Oct 2004 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
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posted

POLL for those who want to rebel and root for the underdog:

LardLad: 35 percent
Calamity monkey, Actor, Winema, Numf: 15 each
Kent: 5 percent

POLL for those who want to jump on the bandwagon:

Kent: 95 percent
Everyone else: 0.3 to 1.5 percent

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lard Lad
Re-empowered!
Offline

posted

quote:
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
As Director of External Affairs (tm), it was my duty to try to flush out Dominion spies before the election. If you'd read my confidential executive report like a responsible candidate, you'd know that.

Dude. it's all about public perception...kinda why retractions in the papers are always buried on the last page!

--------------------
"Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash

From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lard Lad
Re-empowered!
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posted

quote:
Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
POLL for those who want to rebel and root for the underdog:

LardLad: 35 percent
Calamity monkey, Actor, Winema, Numf: 15 each
Kent: 5 percent

POLL for those who want to jump on the bandwagon:

Kent: 95 percent
Everyone else: 0.3 to 1.5 percent

So... basically, you're endorsing me for Lucifer Lass?

--------------------
"Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash

From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
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posted

No.

Read it again. Carefully.

LL says she is looking to vote based on rebelling against the polls, so the first poll is for her.

The second poll is for those who want to support the front-runner; so that poll is not for her.

As leader, I pledge to offer remedial reading courses in the near future for those so obviously in need.

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lard Lad
Re-empowered!
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posted

oh-kaaaaaay.

Hmmm...gotta wonder where you get your info though. I'd say if activity on the campaign threads are a guage, then I've got the edge!

--------------------
"Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash

From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
Offline

posted

Riiiiight..... That's the deciding factor. Go on believing that, amigo.

Or should I say, Deputy Amigo.

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
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posted

BTW, "Vote LARD (or if not, just don't vote for Kent)!!" is hardly a slogan a front-runner would come up with.

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lard Lad
Re-empowered!
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posted

Yeah, blame my campaign manager (me). He's not very good at front-runner slogans, I guess.

--------------------
"Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash

From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lucifer Lass
Applicant
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posted

Might I suggest "Vote LARD, he won't card"?

Not only does it capture your main campaign theme, but it also appeals to the younger voters.

Registered: Oct 2004 | IP: Logged |

THE LMB ENQUIRER
Candidate
Offline

posted

500 Voters were polled for the following questions.

WHICH CANDIDATE IS LIKLIEST TO BE INVOLVED IN A SEX-SCANDAL INVOLVING TOMATOES?

1. Kent Shakespeare 37%

2. Calamity Monkey 29%

3. LARDLAD 26%

4. Winema Wazzo 4%

5. Actor Lad 3%

6. Ghost of Numf El 1%

WHICH CANDIDATE IS MOST LIKELY TO HAVE THORA OF TALTAR ON SPACE-SPEED-DIAL?

1. Winema Wazzo 42%

2. Calamity Monkey 22%

3. Actor Lad 17%

4. Ghost of Numf El 14%

5. Kent Shakespeare 4%

6. LARDLAD 1%

WHICH CANDIDATE IS MOST LIKELY TO TREAT THE TITLE OF LMB LEADER WITH THE DIGNITY IT DESERVES?

1. Actor Lad 29%

1. Ghost of Numf El 29%

1. Kent Shakespeare 29%

4. Calamity Monkey 6%

5. LARDLAD 4%

6. Winema Wazzo 3%

WHICH CANDIDATE HAS THE MOST BELIEVABLE OUTRAGEOUS CAMPAIGN PROMISES?

1. Actor Lad 28%

2. Ghost of Numf El 24%

3. Kent Shakespeare 16%

4. Calamity Monkey 15%

5. LARDLAD 12%

6. Winema Wazzo 5%

--------------------
Poppa Rotzi, EIC

Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lard Lad
Re-empowered!
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posted

quote:
Originally posted by Lucifer Lass:
Might I suggest "Vote LARD, he won't card"?

Not only does it capture your main campaign theme, but it also appeals to the younger voters.

EX-cellent!!

--------------------
"Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash

From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Lard Lad
Re-empowered!
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posted

MAN! Those poll aren't kind to yours truly! Accurate, but not kind... [Frown]

--------------------
"Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash

From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

MLLASH
bite into the all-caps
Offline

posted

One wonders if there will be more polls this time...

--------------------
Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/

Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

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