quote:Originally posted by Abin Quank: "Oh Dear, I'm sorry Caliente, but you see, that wasn't Dedman. Dedman had already vanished into the hollow tree that leads to Cack. That was Madrox the Multiple Durlan, who for some strange and unknown reason has to be killed in every one of these tag team thingies. It's kind of similar to Kenny on South Park. Now eat your cupcake dear,"
And nearby...
I literally laughed out loud!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
we cut back to Harbi who was in the miidle of a spectacularly acrobatic manouvre two thirds of the way up the pole..
nah, sorry guys, we didn't really cut back to there at all. Fooled ya!
Actually we cut to Mearl and Caliente at the centre of the wood at the centre of LW at the centre of the Universe.
the mysterious stranger decided to announce his presence. But not in an ordinary way like for instance saying "Hi there, how are you?" or maybe by walking up to them waving a hand. No, nothing so ordinary. Nothing so mundane. After all, this is Legion World, wedon't do ordinary and mundane here. At least not in public we don't. Not too often anyway.
The dark and mysterious stranger jumped up onto a thigh wide branch above in one ridiculously easy looking leap, clinging onto it with his fingertips and bare toes, and raising his face to the darkened sky above began to...
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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...Chant in a surprisingly mellow voice, "Ooompa-Loompa, Ooompa-Loompa, Ooompa-Loompa, ad nausium et ad infinitium..."
But before Mearl and Caliente could do more than look up in shock, a single gunshot cracked and the mysterious stranger fell to the ground, deader than Madrox the Multiple Durlan...
"Ohmygod, I was coming to like join you for cupcakes and girl talk when I saw that Madrox the Multiple Durlan Guy doing Ooompa-Loompa impersonations up in your tree, so I thought I'd get the "Kill Madrox" requirement out of the way early..." Everyday Girl said as she slid her gun back into it's concealed holster.
"But, didn't you just..." Caliente started to say in a confused voice as she turned to Mearl.
"Yes, Dear, but he's called the Multiple Durlan for a reason. He sends out short lived clones of himself on these attacks so that he is never in any danger. Why we once had a tag team story that was nothing but various LMBers killing Madrox every post." Mearl said with a small humorless laugh.
But at that very moment, back at Shameless Hussies...
posted
Back at Shameless Hussies, the roaring crowd was hooting and hollering like never before! A cowboy hat and leather whip were thrown up to Harbinger on stage, to see what could possibly top this showing!
Meanwhile, back stage, Shameless Hussies underpaid stage worker Chlamydia Horrora stamped her foot in jealous rage. "So, they like her and shower her with praises, but they barely tip me and shower me in ----"
But before she could finish what was sure to be a strike-banning offense, someone from the corner of the room lit a cigerette in one of those really cool type movie scenes that just don't come across in writing.
"Why don't you do something then, to get back at her," said the soft-spoken man in business attire, who had an air of menace about him.
"With this," he said, holding a key.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
High above the stage at Shameless Hussies, Her Royal Majesty, Yah-Hoo, Queen of Cackles, sat on a light fixture and watched curiously as Harbinger ascended to the stage below. Try as she might she just couldn’t come to grips with the human concept of body modesty. What made humans ashamed of their bodies, she wondered? And, why did that shame result in the popularity of spectacles like the one below? Oh well, no matter really, she was putting an end to this one right now…
A quick sprinkle of Maniacal Laughing Dust, and whoosh, the compulsions placed on Harbinger by the Cackle Ray were washed away, and just in the nick of time, too…
On the stage below, Harbinger blinked thrice, and thrice again, as her head cleared. For the first time in several hours she was in complete control of her faculties. She looked down into the front row, where her friends Arachne, Fat Cramer, Spellbinder, Frio, Nova Girl, Gina DC, Gigglebot Lass, Lady Kat, Pagan Lass and virtually every woman who’d ever visited Legion World (and wasn’t currently having cupcakes with the Supreme Ruler of the Universe) sat smiling serenely up at the stage and suddenly realized that there wasn’t a single male in the audience.
“What… Where are all the guys?”
“Everybody knew you weren’t doing that,” Pagan Lass answered for the group, “of your own free will. You were under a compulsion to put on a show, but nobody was under a compulsion to watch that show, so we decided that your show would have a very select audience…”
“Yep,” Commented Space Tart wryly as she rubbed a set of bruised knuckles, “even if a few of us had to place a certain Cobalt Kid under a different form of compulsion…”
“So now,” Spellbinder added thoughtfully, gazing up at the overhead light fixtures, “we need to find out what Queen Yah-Hoo needs so desperately from Everyday Girl, that she would use a compulsion on you to blackmail Brit into capitulating to her demands.”
"Well it might have something to do with these two," said Jailbait Lass as she, Plain Jane, and Hardbody Hannah hauled Chlamydia Horrora and the nameless man in the business suit out of the dressing room area. "We found these two going through Harbi's Locker and spreading some kind of paste all over the inside of her clothes..."
posted
As she tossed the two of them aside, Plain Jane couldn't help but let her thoughts drift away. She came to Legion World to be closer to Icefyre, but he never seemed to be around. And he never showed any interest with her, instead always wanting to play around with the guys or do that cute little dance on the pole at Shameless Hussies. It wasn't her fault that she wasn't pretty enough or interesting enough for him to like her. Why did she have to be so plain?
Why didn't Icefyre simply love her like she loved him?
posted
Meanwhile, floating in the Ocean of Untimely Ends, the Legion World equivalent of the Indian Ocean, Eryk Davis Ester, Cobalt Kid, Space Tart, Leap Year Lass and Restless Swimmer Lass were all enjoying a quiet fishing trip. Restless Swimmer Lass had met them at the docks and agreed to come out and join them.
"Gee, I sure hope we don't get involved in any scary adventures," said EDE, to which Cobalt replied "you said it, pal!"
Little did they know a large 37' Great White Shark was circling their boat in the depths below, patiently waiting for the chance to devour them while they were still alive! "Hey Eryk, throw some of those bloody dead fish back into the ocean," said Leap Year Lass, "they're stinking up the boat!" "Sure thing!". ---------------------- Back at Shameless Hussies:
Queen Yah-Hoo of the Cackles watched on as the LMB had Chlamydia Horrora and the nameless cigerette smoking business man before them!
"Talk skank!" said Harbinger, pushing Chlamydia forward! "You were going to open the floor while I was dancing to reveal a swimming pool, a la 'It's a Wonderful Life', weren't you?!"
"*Gasp!* I don't know how you figured out my plans, but you're right! And I'm not sorry!"
"And who are you?" said FC to the businessman.
The man smiled and lit another ciggerette. "He's smoking," whispered Arachne "he must be evil."
"You can call me Mr. Halloween for now," he said, "and I've got a few surprises in store for you tonight. The first should be happening any second..."
Suddenly, Chalmydia started to cough! Hacking! Wheezing! It looked painful! Horrible! She was wretching!
Leaning back, she gagged and then...SPLAT!!
A baby alien crawled out of her stomach with a toothy grin and said...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
"Did anyone here loose this Toothy Grin?" the small alien said as it crawled out of the mess that used to be Chlamydia, "I found it laying on the floor over... There..."
The small, nameless alien seemed to notice for the first time the body behind it.
"Did I do that? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that! But ever since that movie came out... Stuff like that just seems to happen. Well, at least it was just another Clone of Madrox the Multiple Durlan."
"Have we been introduced? My name is Tim and I came here all the way here from Polesnarfle in search of the Legendary Hero, Cobalt Kid."
-------------------- Hi! How are you? <click-click> BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!!
From: Here? | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
We'll return to the Halloween Tag Thread after these messages:
Coming soon from Paramount Pictures - just in time for Halloween - is the new hit film teaming America's favorite unstoppable serial killer with America's favorite drooling four-legged behemoth! Yes, it's "Beethoven's 13th" - a journey into the bowels of Hell that's fun for the whole family! Starring Charles Grodin, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Yeardly Smith as the voice of Jason.
Listen to what the critics have to say about "Beethoven's 13th":
"Had our thumbs not been brutally hacked off, they'd be up!" - Ebert & the other guy.
"I wet myself with joy!" - Rex Reed
"This film was so powerful, it brought me back from the dead!" - The zombie corpse of Pauline Kael.
That's "Beethoven's 13th", opening soon!
Also opening soon, from Marvel Entertainment....
Marvel Entertainment president Avi Arad and heavy metal auteur Rob Zombie team-up to bring you "X-Men 3: House of M Corpses"!! See Captain Spaulding and the rest of America's First Family of serial killers go toe-to-toe with those marvelous mutants of moviedom! Features celebrity cameos from Halle Berry.....
"Do I get script approval? Hey, wait......AAAAAGGHHH!!"
....Hugh Jackman....
"I'm the best there is what I do, and right now that means holding in my entrails."
...and a special appearance by Ben Afleck as Daredevil
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry about the Daredevil movie! Now give me back my eyes!"
That's "X-Men 3: House of M Corpses"coming soon to a theatre near you! Also look out for the video game!
"Not Harbi pole dancing again! I thought she would have learned. I'm not staying around to remove small furry animals this time - I think I'll go to Cafe Cramer for a coffee instead. Try and get rid of this hangover. Mmmmm, might be better if I went home and had a shower first. "Give me a call if you need me!" he shouts to Harbi, making sure it isn't actually loud enough for her to hear. And off he staggers.
Meanwhile, at the Sheriton ......
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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In his pleased state he had dropped the last bag of fluffy McGibbon of Choo marshmallows (both pink and the scarily coloured pink) onto the fire, STILL IN THE WRAPPING! Even as the tongues of pale blue and white flame teased, tickled and ultimately melted the plastic wrapping around the succulent blackeningmarshmallows.
The apprirition stood with hands on hips, left foot tapping the beat of her anger. "Eeh, I'm famished doncha know? Got anything else on ya? Mars bar? Muesli bar?"
Tamper looked at his survival pouch, the one Princess Crujectra had lovingly packed. "Umm, I've only got this"
He sheepishly offers the pouch to the appirition, "will this do?"
She tentatively looks over the leathered lip of the offered pouch and is shocked to see...
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Stoopid Cat interuptd by jumping onto Hruns shoulder, dug his claws into the barbarians hairy Shoulder (Aside - Kenny, you might have Hrun DNA too in the mix) and arched his back, all the while emitting a howl that could scare a pretty touch thing not normally scared by cat's screaming in the middle of the night in the middle of a really dark mysterious forest at the centre of all creation. So probably the average Minke Whale wouldn't at least turn to see what had created that awful noise, and that's only because there are so few of them left that they run away fromm their own shadow these days.
(Harbi gets off her soapbox reluctantly, thinking, why didn't I also say.. oh the list goes on)
"what the..???" Ded man in incredulous!
Hruns turns to his fellow warrior and says, "Never fear, the scabby beast is only screaming because..."
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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"... like the reader he's wondering where Chucks funny posty about he and I, the mighty Hrun, appeared out of the pouch. A bigger question is...
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
I literally laughed out loud!
