posted
Caliente and Actor Lad going for a stroll through the festivities. They looked to be enjoying themselves, laughing light-heartedly, when suddenly, a few goons that had only days before been spotted at Tamper Lad's Evil Genius Club pulled out vintage '38 Revolvers and demand they give them their money.
'S-sure,' said Actor Lad, apparently very scared. 'Why, it's right here...' he said, pointing at his feet.
"Haw! That was easy!" said the thug, looking.
"Jokes on you my friend!" said Actor suddenly, "I was using my power--SUPER ACTING!", adding a hard right hook to the thugs chin and then kicking the other thung in the knee-cap. "They always fall for my super-acting," he said, with a close-up on his pearly white teeth.
"Oh Actor!" Caliente swooned.
In the shadows, KP noticed Tamper Lad walking off annoyed, and followed the Evil Genius, to see where he was going. Making his way to Middlefinger V's space-ship, which no one had bothered to clean up yet, Tamper apparently was looking for something, when a small little Gnome eating a golden apple appeared.
"I wouldn't go in there," he said to Tamper, as Kid Prime now made his presence known, "your pal LardLad didn't realize that imprisoned within the ship's hull is none other than..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Faraway Lad
Senator of the UP. Permanent Ambassador to the Court of Saint James
posted
the Emerald Ass of Ekron...
It now has control of him and has sent him to rob the LMBP armoury.
-------------------- Faithfull
From: Newcastle upon Tyne England | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
"I will not be made an ass of by a mystical donkey." said Tamper Lad as he picked up the Gnome, apple and all, dipped both into a nearby vat of warm caramel. Blasting the candied mini-man with a blast of cold air he posed it and sent the gnome away to the paint shoppe to be made into a colorful lawn ornament.
Tamper continued to look scour the space ship for the technological artifact he was looking for. Reaching into under the hood of the ship he found the component he was looking for.
"Who needs Caliente? When I have found this."
Kid Prime sounded the alarm by becoming a semi-truck and blowing a giant raspberry from his air horn.
From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2005
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-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
The sound of Kid Prime's alarm caused Abin Quank to drop to the floor and begin rolling around laughing. This proved quite fortunate, because, by complete coincidence, Abin Quank had just been set on fire! He had been struck by a lit fart from the Emerald Ass of Ekron, which now had complete control over Lardlad!
The assembled LMBers and other guests turned to face Lardlad, who, after robbing the LMB armory, was now carrying...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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The fabled ring, which allowed him to dominate the wills of others and spread shadow throughout the world had been locked away long ago in the LMB armory. Why, then, would Lardy risk the fate of all that there was by using the fabled One Ring?
It mattered little, as Cobalt Kid flew back down into the fray, attempting to constrain Lardy with his magnetism! "Wait, all of you! Don't you remember that the Emerald Ass of Ekron was destroyed in 'Crisis on Earth-4?!' It can't be the Emerald Ass, so it has to be a trick, ploy or illusion! Therefore, a handful of suspects lend themselves to such an M.O.! For instance, this smells like the work of..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"this smells like the work of..."
But before Cobalt Kid could complete his sentence, a small voice from inside the spaceship interrupted.
"So, ye figured it out, did ye?"
Cobalt Kid was puzzled. He'd thought for certain it was Salad-Tosser Lord, but that sure didn't sound like his voice. "Oh, well," he thought. "Might as well play along..."
"Why, yes! I knew it was you all the time! Come out and show yourself you dastardly villain!"
Out of the ship stepped another Gnome!
The gnome says, "All ye shall bow before the Gnome-King of Legion World!"
Meanwhile, back on the streets...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Meanwhile, back on the streets, pure, horrible chaos had broken out! Rioting began to become widespread as people just screamed and screamed in terror!
The Gnome King's evil illusion/mind control powers were so potent they were causing the ordinary denizens of Legion World to erupt in a wave of horror!
"So, this Gnome King thinks he can steal my show?" said Middlefinger VI, "I'll show him! My gang of cannibalistic zombies will take on his gang of horror stricken innocents and we'll see who wins!"
Meanwhile, Arachne watched on at Monitor Duty with Rockhopper Lad. "This terrible!" she gasped.
"A gang war?" replied Rockhopper, "we can handle it!" he added enthusiastically
"No, you don't understand. Middlefinger and the Gnome King are both Omega Level threats, far more powerful than you realize! And the gorilla tribe of Legion World, which just so happens to live in the old statue of Middlefinger II (aka Large Handsome) in the jungles of Legion World has sworn that should two omega level threats ever engage in fierce combat again on Legion World, they would break their peace-pact and immediately do whatever it takes to stop the violence! Even if it means becoming violent themselves!"
"Forget World War XIV!" said Rockhopper, "This has the potential to become a Super World War I of Space!"
Meanwhile, in a pile of almost completely eaten apple cores and orange peels, which has once been the impressive Fruit of the Immortality...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
...Stood a gnome still half encrusted with caramel.
"Bwahahaha. Silly evil genius. Sneaking into the garden of the immortals as a lawn ornament was part of my plan."
Having eaten immortal's fruit the Gnome glowed with the colour of golden caramel and grew to the height of 8 feet.
"Now on to the statue of Middlefinger II to claim my rightful place as the Candy the Caramel King of the Kongs. The violence must be ended at all cost."
Meanwhile back at the site of the crashed spaceship...
From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
LAM appeared and wondered if there had been any survivors...With a flick of his amulet, he could detect life-signs emanating from the huge crater and several giant figures...Their faces were deadly pale, their hair and lips were very bright red....Accessing his Omnicon, LAM was able to determine that these were denizens of the fabled R'nld Mek-Don'ld colony...but were far from friendly. Their grins showed razor-sharp teeth and in their hands were thin pieces of cable, which they threw like bolas in the L-Worlder's direction...
Using his Ornitho-ability to fly, LAM was able to evade the glowing grapplers. One of the R'nlds reached out to grab him and LAM utilised his Psyche-self to make the giant clown cry...Then the clown grew angry and kicked his chuckling comrade in the butt...
On and on the assault progressed until the row of marauders were tangled up in their emotive phalanx...
Suddenly, from the emblem on his belt, LAM detected that one of his fellow comrades was in deep trouble...It was...
From: Adelaide, Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
It was...Mattropolis aka Danny Blaine, whom LAM had never actually met! However, Mattropolis, who had the power to increase the mass of objects to enormous amounts via the power of the stars, was now hurtling through the galaxy at the speed of sound, each inch increasing his weight more and more. Although invulerable to the effects of his own power, he was not in control and had in effect become a gigantic fiery comet with the aggregate mass of One Billion Stars! If he were to hit Legion World, he would not only destroy it--but all of the galaxy!
With Legion World facing a variety of problems and LAM unsure if his powers would be up to the task, he looked at his utility belt to see what other LMBers could help stop Mattropolis, while still saving the beloved LMBer, and found that three were readily available, in a cruiser in nearby space. They were none other than...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Stoopid Cat, Faraway Lad and Abin Quank who had zipped up to meet the House of Q cruiser returning from the UP cat pagent after his earlier laughing fit.
Abin using the annoyance force created a massive belch in the fabric of space time causing Mattropolis to lose mass rapidly.
Unfortunately due to the law conservation of energy Mattropolis sped up. Approaching the speed of light he was sent to a forest moon in a galaxy far, far, away where he met a tribe of 3 foot panda bears (which must not be named due to the number of lawyers that guy has) who once saved the galaxy from an evil empire.
To save Mattropolis from a cruel destiny of being merchandised as an action figure sure to be abused by 6 year olds, Faraway used the faraway force to traverse the distance and recover their comrade.
Safely on the cruiser, Mattropolis regained concioussness but was unable to deliver the news he had rushed back to Legion World with.
Meanwhile planetside, the army of Clowns had gotten into their Austin Midget driving towards the Statue of Middle Finger II. The new MiddleFinger's cadre of cannabalistic zombies marched to meet them and the Caramel King of the Gorillasand the primate tribe waited to inflict preemptive violence on both of them.
At the Office of Security the LMB answered the general alarm in confusion not knowing what to do until someone said...
posted
"Like, ohmigod, we should just, like, kill them all or something. Hold on let me, like, get my guns."
Luckily, Jailbait Lass had locked Everyday Girl's weapons away and hidden the key. Instead, they decided to page Cobalt Kid back to the office and go get pedicures.
Unfortunately, Cobie couldn't answer, as he was...
-------------------- Abin: You know what to do with a Cali sandwich? No but neither do Cobie and CJ! CJ: Yeah, we do. She's smiling, isn't she?
Context... who needs it?
From: Sunny Cali-- er, Planet Earth? | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Trying to find where he had stashed the key into Spellbinder's private quarters. He heard a resounding explosion out in the Plaza. Spellbinder interrupted her beauty regimen in response to the rumbles beneath her penthouse. She appeared before Cobalt Kid - a vision in a diaphanous gauze negligee. Knowing full well what was on Cobie's fevered mind, she proposed a raincheck and so she, Cobie, and Everyday Girl joined forces to investigate the ruckus in the Plaza.
The R'nld-Mek-D'nlds had breached the perimeter. Jailbait Lass kept a cool head as she tried to locate a secret hiding place where the Princess, Cobie and Ev-Girl could enter and exit without the giants being the wiser.
"The only way past those scary creeps is to access a tesseract" proclaimed J-Lass. "A pity Faraway Lad is not within signal range to assist us." said Cobie, with a groan. "Where's Invisible Brainiac when you need him?" said Spellbinder, with a worried frown...
And as if her prayer had been answered, someone tapped the Princess on her shoulder and she turned around...
From: Adelaide, Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
to find Lucien Lad, looking slightly peeved but ever so fabulous as usual.
"I was asleep you know" he said, "All this noise is very annoying. I had a hard night last night redecorating the Palace. And since the Palace is infinite in size and dimensions it took quite a while. I think I might have lost a few Brads along the way somewhere. Possibly in the guest bedroom annex with the multi-dimensional en-suites. Beagz is in there somewhere as well. He was following out his prescribed Offical Stalker duties but I think he might have made a wrong turning somewhere along the way. I was going to try and find him this mornign after having a few hours kip and then all this ruccus starts up. o, what's this about needing a tesseract?"
Cobie looked thoughtful for a minute and then said "Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That we should take over the world?", asked Lucien Lad eagerly.
"No.... not today", said Cobie, 2But you say the Palace is infinite in size. Does that mean it has entrances theoretically eveywhere?".
"Entrances, no", said Lucien Lad, "Exits, yes. Why do you ask?"
"Well", said Cobie...
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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