Roy Harper let out a last breath of air and set the weight down. He got up and sighed. He'd just finish his daily exercise routine in order to stay fighting trim, as superheroes usually do.
After showering off Roy got into a pair of red sweatpants and a brown tank top. He stopped to look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had a fair complexion and long red hair (not mullet long, mind you) and a soul patch on his chin. For an archer he had a big, strong build, and washboard abs.
"Looking good, Harper." He joked to his reflection. He then went to look for his daughter.
"Lian, I'm gonna go order dinner. Do you want pizza or burgers or-"
Roy was cut off by the sight of his petite little girl, Lian, a girl of about five years old who took after her mother, with asian features and almond brown eyes. And hair which was normally onyx black was now covered in all manner of red goo.
"Hi daddy!" Lian said as what might have been ketchup dripped off her head onto the floor.
"…"
Roy couldn't exactly find the words to express how he felt at that moment. Actually, he could but not in language suitable for a child.
…
"But daddy-ow that hurts!" Lian cried.
Roy had taken her into the bathroom and was now trying to wash out everything that Lian had put in her hair. So much for dinner. Lian stood in the bathtub, concealed by soapy water and bubbles as Roy held up the shower head to spray some of the stuff out of her hair.
"I'm sorry, angel, but-did you use tomato sauce too?-why are trying to color your hair?" Roy asked.
"I used anything red I could find. Tomato sauce, ketchup, red paint…" Lian listed off the top of her head. Roy laughed.
"Yeah, well, putting ketchup in your hair ain't gonna make you a redhead, Lian. Sorry."
"Oh." Lian said, dejected.
"Hold on, I've almost got it all out." Roy informed her.
"Daddy, didn't I used to have red hair?" Lian asked as Roy wrung out a washcloth.
"Well, yeah, when you were a baby. But it started turning darker and eventually it became black like your mom's. Don't ask me how, I'm still confused myself." Roy finished explaining.
"Like mommy's…" Lian trailed off. Roy now picked up her sad mood.
"Lian, what's wrong? You never used to care about what color your hair was before."
"Well, I realized I don't really look like you, daddy. So, um, I wanted to change my hair to match your's." Lian finished explaining. That made Roy laugh again, but not in a mean way.
"I'm flattered, Lian, but I think your hair is pretty just the way it is." Roy smiled as he told her.
"No it's not." She didn't feel the same way.
"What?" Roy's smile dropped as he saw that Lian might start crying.
"After school today, while I was waiting for you, I was with this girl in my class named Amy. I told her, about, how my daddy was big time superhero Arsenal."
"Stop, you're gonna make me blush." He joked, but still did not smile.
"But, Amy's cousin came over to pick her up. She told him I was Arsenal's daughter. But he said that's impossible, because, because you're white and you've got red hair, and he said that I'm probably Chinese or Japanese, or something."
Roy could not believe his ears.
"Wait. This kid actually said that to you?" Roy asked, dumbfounded.
"He's not a kid, he's in college, Amy said." Lian finished saying.
"Really. What's his name?"
…
The next day Lian was waiting outside the school with Amy, another little girl with blonde hair and green eyes that one dumb boy named Jack said were the color of a frog. Lian's hair was back to being onyx black.
"You sure you wanna wait for my cousin?" Amy asked, remembering what it was like the other day.
"Uh-huh." Lian said, waiting for her dad as well. When, speak of the devil…
"Let's go Amy. You're mom's waiting." In came Chester, a twenty-two year old college student with straggly black hair and a bad complexion to much his sour demeanor. "Don't know why she makes me pick you up." He muttered.
"Chester you were really mean to Lian yesterday. Apologize." Amy commanded to her older cousin. Chester just looked down at Lian, who looked neither sad, nor happy, nor angry to see him.
"Well, sorry kid, but there's no way in hell you're dad is-"
"A-hem." Someone tapped Johnny on the shoulder. He turned around and… there stood Roy, fully decked in his Arsenal gear, right down to the sunglasses.
"Daddy!"
"Wow." Amy whispered.
"Aah!" Chester yelped.
"So, you're Chester, right? The one who made my daughter feel bad because she doesn't look like me?" Roy asked with a coldness that makes space look like Tahiti.
"She, she really is-" Chester stammered.
"You're the guy who called my little angel 'Chinese or Japanese or something'?" Roy asked again.
"Well I-"
"Or, you think just because she takes more after her mom there's no way she could be related to me, right?"
"I, uh-, I didn't-"
"You think you can call my little girl a liar? Make her feel bad about having black hair?"
"No! I-"
"Or you think just because she looks Asian that automatically means she's from China or Japan?"
"What's your daddy doing?" Amy asked Lian.
"Being cool." Lian replied as Roy had backed Chester against a wall.
"I got news for you, bud, I don't look it but I'm part Native American. I got raised by the Tachini Navajo tribe in Arizona, and I'm proud of it. My daughter is Vietnamese, Irish, Navajo, and American. I don't need an ignorant butt monkey like you venting out his idiocracy on my princess, or making her feel bad just because you're an idiot."
"I-"
Roy leaned in closer to whisper the next part of his triad.
"You know, I could have every single Teen Titan and member of the JLA coming down on your ass like the wrath of God for making my daughter feel bad just because she takes after her Vietnamese mother. But I wouldn't need them to. I could cave your empty head in just by using your fat, pimply ass as a dodge ball if I wanted to."
"He could, I've seen it." Lian said.
Roy took Chester and made him face Lian.
"Now what do you say to my daughter… punk?" Roy asked him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Chester apologized over and over again.
"Apology accepted." Lian said with a smile.
"Good. Now, try to be a little more open minded in the future, kay?" Roy patted Chester on the back, dropping all hostility and going back to his more easy-going attitude.
"Uh, uh…"
"Close enough. Hey princess!" Roy said as bent down to pick Lian up.
"Hi daddy!" Lian replied.
"You have fun at kindergarten today?"
"Yeah, the teacher read us some of the Wizard of Oz, and then we all got to draw our favorite characters."
"Yeah? Who'd you draw?"
"I drew the Scarecrow."
"Well what a coincidence, he's my favorite too."
"Yeah?"
Roy set Lian down and the two began to walk to Roy's jeep as Roy discussed their plans for the night.
"Come on. I thought tonight we'd make chili pizza with Grandpa's recipe. But first you wanna rent some movies on the way home?"
"Jackie Chan?" Lian expectedly asked.
"Naturally." Roy confirmed.
"Cool!" Lian cheered. "Bye Amy! See you tomorrow!" Lian waved to her classmate.
"Nice meeting you, Amy." Roy called to the other little girl.
"Bye Lian! Bye Mr. Harper!" Amy waved back.
Her cousin had slumped down to the ground.
"Chester? You gonna get up now?" Amy asked.
"I think I had an accident."
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
"Good morning, sunshine." The soothing, Arabic voice of the slender, raven-haired Sooraya Qadir spoke into the ear of her lover and boyfriend, muscular, red-haired Roy Harper as she lied down next to him in bed.
"Mmff. Watimezit?" Roy sleepily muttered, eyes still closed and covered in some sleep crap.
"It's 4:30. How does it feel to officially be a year older?" Sooraya asked on this, the day of Roy's birthday.
"Old. And tired." Roy muttered again as Sooraya kissed his cheek.
"My poor baby. Maybe if you get lucky somebody got you a cane today." She joked. Roy pulled the covers over his head again.
"It's still early, babe. I just fell asleep a while ago." Roy moaned.
"I know," Sooraya said as she pulled the covers off Roy, "I just thought maybe you'd like one of your gifts a little early." She finished speaking as her hand started trailing down to Roy's-kids are probably reading this, so you smut-minded adults and voyeurs use your filthy, filthy imaginations.
"Oh, Miss Qadir." Roy laughed a little as Sooraya's hand reached a certain area.
Five minutes later the two had started making out.
"Why were you up so late anyway?" Sooraya asked.
"I was trying to break Lian's highscore on one of her Wii games after she went to bed." Roy explained.
"Why?"
"I tried playing with her last night and she kept distracting me. Said I was 'jiggling'."
"Heh." Sooraya muffled her giggle, earning a shot from Roy, always defensive about his 'few extra pounds' earned during hospitalization.
"Hey, I don't 'jiggle'. …Do I?"
"Of course not. Well, it is your birthday so I will cut some slack." Sooraya told him. All of a sudden Roy stood up and stared at Sooraya with quivering eyes. "Roy?"
"S-she's turned you against me."
"Roy-"
"E-even on his birthday, a man c-can't get a break."
"Roy…"
"Why does everyone I love do this to me??!!!!!"
"Roy." Sooraya rolled her eyes.
"I'M SO ALONE!"
Sooraya put her index finger to his lips.
"Roy Harper. Hush. I think you are fine just the way you are."
"Works every time." Roy said, smiling smugly.
"You are a jerk."
"You're sexy."
"Daddeeeeee…" a whining, half-asleep voice alerted the two adults, "your melodrama woke me uuuuuuup."
Standing in the doorway was Roy's daughter Lian, in an oversized Batman shirt carrying with her a penguin plushy.
"I'm sorry baby, go back to bed."
"No, now I'm awake. And it's your fault." Lian walked past him and Sooraya and climbed onto Roy's bed, crawling under the sheets with Pengy in hand. "I hope you're proud of yourself. I'm gonna be an isonmiac and it's your fault."
"That's 'insomniac'." Roy said, poking his head under the sheets.
"That too." Lian said, looking directly at him.
"Lian, if you go back to bed now you can help me with the cake later." Sooraya coaxed the girl out with future promises of chocolate batter.
"Oh, good, because chances are daddy's gonna inhale the whole thing before anyone else has a chance at it."
"Lian, honey." Roy begged her with big, pleading eyes, getting tired of her fat jokes. "For my birthday, please, no jokes today. Please? Pretty please angel? Princess?"
"Okay, okay daddy, just stop doing the puppy dog eyes. It's creepy when you do it." Lian shivered.
"Now come on, back to bed." Roy helped her off his bed and led her back to her room.
"Alright. Happy birthday, daddy." Lian kissed her dad on the cheek as she went back into her room.
"Thanks, kid." Roy kissed her back.
Back in his room…
"So, we're alone." Roy told his girlfriend.
"I can see that." Sooraya observed.
"So…" Roy said, getting closer to Sooraya, "can I have my gift now, or do I have to wait?"
"SAILOR LIAN'S LOVE HANDLE ATTACK!"
"GAAH!" Her dad screamed as Lian grabbed said handles. Lian stood there with the biggest, most triumphant smile she had in a long time. Her dad stared at her as if she just blew up the building.
"NOW I promise to not do anymore today." Lian told him.
"Okay, that's it! You're now living in the monastery with Uncle Connor!" Roy screamed.
"You have to catch me first!" Lian taunted, and ran out the room, followed by her dad.
"Hope you like fasting and wearing robes, Lian!"
"You have no sense of humor, daddy!"
"You're only making it worse, Lian! If you stop now I promise they won't shave your head!"
"I'd like to see them try!"
"I'll do it myself!"
"Should I stop them?" Sooraya wondered. "No, it's his birthday."
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
Roy Harper plopped down on the couch and let out a long, well-earned sigh of relief after the tiring day he had to deal with. After finally managing to shower and change into freshly-laundered clothes he didn't want to do anything that would've involved physical movement. He wasn't even bothered by the fact that they seemed a bit snug and shrugged it off to physical exhaustion. Inertia was his companion. (Is that right?) At least, it was for now. He had plans with both his daughter and his girlfriend, Sooraya, in a few hours. But until then… nothing.
"Hey."
Roy turned his gaze to his young daughter, Lian, who sat down on the couch next to him.
"Hey."
They were a family of few words. NOT.
"So… watcha doing?" Lian asked her father.
"Absolutely nothing." He replied.
"You have a hard day?" She asked sympathetically as she cuddled up closer to her dad. (And get your heads out of the gutters for those of you think 'cuddle' means anything else in this moment)
"Long, actually." Roy told her.
"Tired?" Lian asked again.
"Yep."
"Just wanna relax?"
"Uh-huh."
"That's cool." Lian agreed. So, can I feel it?" She questioned.
"Feel what?" Roy wondered with a raised eyebrow at where his daughter was going with this.
"The baby, of course!" Lian rolled her eyes at her dad's obliviousness. "I wanna see if I can hear it's heartbeat." She patted her father's small gut and then leaned her ear towards it.
"…" Roy was rather, um exasperated with the amount of jokes his daughter could make towards the small bit of weight he gained after being hospitalized.
"I think I felt it kick! Or did you just fart?" Lian asked.
"Lian…" Roy coldly stared at her with fatigue and annoyance in his gaze.
"You think it's gonna be a boy or a girl, daddy?" Lian asked, raising her head up to directly look at him.
"Man, why you gotta be like that, princess? Here I am trying to relax and here you are bumming me out. You're cold Lian." Roy moaned. Lian was taken a bit aback but her character being described as "cold".
"Well, daddy, I just worry about you. Me being snarky and harsh is my way of saying I care." Lian attempted to explain, and at the same time justify, her sense of humor.
"Saying I'm pregnant means you care about me?" Roy asked. "So I guess on my birthday I'll wake up to a gun to my head." He sarcastically quipped.
"Daddy-!" Lian playfully slugged her dad's arm. "It's not my fault, but you don't seem to be doing anything about your waistline."
Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Not doing anything? I worked out for four hours straight today, as I have four days every week for the last two months! I've been bench pressing 260, which is 30 pounds more than I used to. Here, feel this."
Roy rolled up the sleeve of his shirt and flexed his right arm to show off the powerful muscles he'd developed in it. They were a bit bigger than before.
"I'm more worried about feeling all this." Lian's gaze was still aimed at Roy's center, and grabbed at a bit of stomach. "Your mid-section's still squishy. If it keeps getting bigger you might be able to use it as a weapon."
"Well, they don't call me Arsenal for nothing."
Lian stuck her tongue out at her dad's bad joke.
"Corny!"
Roy stuck his tongue out back at her.
"Annoying!"
"I'm annoying? Daddy, I worry that you might wind up with heart disease! Or diabetes! Or cholesterol!" Lian threw up her hands in exasperation.
"Cholesterol's not a disease, Lian." Roy corrected.
"It's not?"
"No, it's like calories or plaque."
"Eeewww!!" Thinking about what it must look like made Lian grimace. Roy laughed a little.
"Why do you think I've been eating nothing but cheerios for breakfast for the last month?"
"You're cheap?"
"…" That earned Lian an empty stare.
"Well, I don't want you getting sick! And I also don't want you getting boobs before I do."
Now it was also Roy's turn to grimace. Although whether it was the idea of himself with boobs or his young daughter with them he did not clarify. Or want to.
"Oh I did NOT need that image in my head, Lian."
"Better in your head than on your chest, daddy. Or, you could participate in those wet t-shirt cont-"
"LALALALALALALALALA I am not listening LALALALALALALA I am not hearing this!" Roy covered his ears and sung out loud to drone his daughter's active, and at times disturbing, imagination.
"I'm sorry! Sorry!" Lian pleaded to get her father to stop.
"Lian you make me sound like one of those morbidly obese blobs whose only job is whining on talk shows. You're blowing this out of proportion. Have I had any trouble on patrol? Or fighting bad guys?"
"No…" Lian averted her gaze from him as she though about it.
"I worry plenty about my health, etai yazi. But a few extra pounds doesn't really bother me." It especially hadn't bothered Sooraya. No, what bothered her was when Roy jokingly hit on other women. "Especially when I can do this." Roy finished as he got off the couch and went "*HUNH*".
Roy struck a body builder pose to better show off his well-developed physique, despite his gut.
"Show-off." Lian scoffed.
"But thank you for caring. I'm lucky to have you watching out for me."
Lian accepted his thanks, but thought up a question.
"Okay, then let me ask you this: can you still see your feet?" She asked him.
"Wha? Of course I can!"
"Prove it." Lian smugly told him.
So, Roy basically looked down.
"Well?" Lian asked.
"I can see them just fine." Roy told her.
"Can you?" She quizzed.
"Well, I can see them well enough." They were just a bit obscured by his stomach. Just a bit, mind you.
"Touch your toes." Lian ordered. And he did. With ease.
"There, you see? Eas-"
RRIPPP!
Roy immediately stood back up straight and began blushing a shade of red deeper than his hair.
"Oh you're wearing the Green Arrow undies Uncle Dick got you for Christmas!" Lian told him.
"I am n-!"
Roy stopped short when he saw the ripped piece of paper in Lian's hands. She started to nervously laugh when her dad looked like he was going to sacrifice her on an altar.
"I was just trying to give some incentive to my wonderful daddy."
"You. Are. Not. Funny, Lian." Roy deadpanned.
POP.
When the button on his jeans.
The two of them simply stared at the button as it lie on the couch next to Lian.
"Okay, but THAT was." She finally spoke.
…
Meanwhile, Sooraya Qadir was nervously fretting about the laundry she had brought home.
"Oh dear. I have to call the Laundromat. Everything shrunk in the wash." She spoke, holding up a t-shirt that was three times smaller than previously. "I better tell Roy and Lian what happened."
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
posted
Levy does great work. I love the little points of color that make the scenes pop. Lian certainly knows how to play her dad. She reminds me of my grandaughters. sigh
-------------------- 'In the twinkling of an eye' I'll be dancing in the sky!
Come, join me!
From: Salem, Oregon USA | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
Thank you for joining us once again to another edition of "The Great Hunter".
We are now on the hunt for the elusive gobbler. For fourteen days and fourteen nights this majestic piece of avian DNA has escaped from the great and mighty hunter's grasp again and again. But soon, that will all change.
It is cold in the terrain. Very cold. It is starting to snow. I can see my breath. My nose is runny and red.
Your nose is always red.
Shut up.
With Thanksgiving just a day away, If nothing is done soon, then there will no Thanksgiving dinner if no gobbler is caught.
The great hunter will not let that happen.
Gobble-gobble.
Wait, what was that?
Gobble-gobble-gobble!
There it is! The elusive gobbler is in the hunter's sights once more!
Gobble-gobble-gobble!
BLAM! BLAM!
The gobbler has eluded the hunter's bullets yet again.
BLAM BLAM BLAM!
And again!
It looks like there will be no Thanksgiving dinner this year. The hunter is despondent.
But just then, the hunter unleashes his secret weapon.
Wait, when did the hunter get a secret weapon?
With the snap of his fingers, the hunter summons… AN ARMY OF COMMANDOS TO BLOW THAT SUCKER TO KINDGOM COME!
What?!
They're using the armor piercing bullets!
But the gobbler doesn't have armor, hunter!
So they unleash the heat seeking missiles!
Heat-seeking missiles?!
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-
Daddy.
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-
Daddy!
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM-
"DADDY!"
"BLAMBLA-Yes, sweetness?"
Lian was cowering in the corner of their living room after Roy had, well, kind of, lost it in their game of "hunter". He was red in the face after repeatedly screaming "Blam" and firing an empty toy gun at a stuffed animal Lian was using as a surrogate turkey.
"An entire army of commandos strapped down with heat seeking missiles and armor piercing bullets? For one turkey?"
"But, but, it was getting away." Roy stammered.
"You scare me sometimes, daddy."
-------------------- I want to be hated by lies - Bring Back Lian Harper
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