Susie Lee done fell in love, she planned to marry Joe. She was so happy 'bout it all, she told her pappy so.
Pappy told her, "Susie gal, you'll have to find another. I'd just as soon yo' ma don't know, but Joe is yo' half brother."
So Susie put aside her Joe and planned to marry Will. But after telling pappy this, he said, "There's trouble still.
you can't marry Will, my gal, and please don't tell yo' mother. But Will and Joe, and several mo' I know is yo' half brother."
But Mama knew , and said, "My child, Just do what makes yo' happy. Marry Will or marry Joe. You ain't no kin to pappy."
From: Up a Gumtree | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
A duck walks into the pharmacy and asks for a condom.
The clerk sets them down on the counter. "And how will you be paying for this?" He asks.
The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Q: Why don't lawyers like to sunbathe at the beach?
A: Click Here For A SpoilerBecause cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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-------------------- The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,"Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test...
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looked at Ms. Brooks and told her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open...
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling...
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong....."
posted
The following link is to a YouTube clip. It looks like it is from a German candid camera show. The set-up is a bathroom with a mirror of the room on the other side. A piece of glass is put where a mirror would be. They then have a set of identical twin women putting on makeup on either side of the glass.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
A lawyer dies and gets sent to Heaven. Upon arrival, he says to St. Peter, "Why did you call for me now? I'm only forty years old."
"According to your billable hours," the Saint responded, "You're actually eighty."
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
Click Here For A SpoilerOne is a scum sucking bottom feeder. The other is a fish.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
And now, it's local humor time: Courtesy my rusted-out copy of TheBestofOrygun
or, LearningHowToSay"Oregon"SoPeopleWon'tThinkYou'reFromNew Jersey
quote:While driving down the freeway, you'll find that the state of Oregon can no longer afford to serve free coffee at its rest stops...
Click Here For A Spoiler...Instead, they've hired some guy who just slaps your face a couple of times.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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