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Topic: JOKES!!!!!

Kid Charlemagne
Frisky Perchlorate
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posted

This isn't a joke in the traditional sense of the word, but I couldn't find a general humor thread, so I figure it comes close enough.

http://www.petelevin.com/countrytitles_xtras.htm#REJECTEDTITLES

Rejected C&W song titles [LOL]

I forgot to mention one of the titles contains a mild body-function vulgarity. [Eek!]

[ May 22, 2010, 02:08 PM: Message edited by: Kid Charlemagne ]

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If your klordny lasts longer than 4 hours, seek medical attention.

From: Arkansas Province, Baaldur | Registered: Jul 2007 | IP: Logged |

Fanfic Lady
Now my heart is full
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posted

Q: Who is Catwoman's favorite French actress?

A: Miou-Miou

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"I know it's gonna happen someday."

Registered: Jul 2005 | IP: Logged |

Faraway Lad
Senator of the UP. Permanent Ambassador to the Court of Saint James
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posted

Boy goes home from school and asks his mum

“Mum is it fair for the teacher to punish me for something I didn’t do?”

Of course the mother is furious at this and tells her son

“Of course it not’s fair and I’m going to go up to that school and tell the teacher that “

“Oh good” says the boy, “Because I didn’t do my maths”

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Faithfull

From: Newcastle upon Tyne England | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
Offline

posted

Worst Holiday-themed Joke Ever.

quote:
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park.
He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh,
a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.

A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him.
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the
blind man.

The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled,
and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"

Send the blame here.

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Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.

From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008 | IP: Logged |

cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
Offline

posted

And this musical interlude goes out to my pal Rocky.

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Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.

From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008 | IP: Logged |

Viridis Lament
Cenobyte. Cthulhu. God.
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posted

Alrighty, these few are horrible...

Q: What do you ask when a tree falls on a woman?

A: Why is there a forest in the kitchen?

And (insert race/culture of choice, I'll use my own culture)

Q: What's the difference between Newfies and Onions?

A: I don't cry when I cut Newfies

From: Fort McMurray | Registered: Nov 2004 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
Offline

posted

two voices on radio:

"Hallo? Dis ist der German Koast Gardt."

"Help! We're sinking!"

"Vhat are you sinking about?"

[ April 07, 2012, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: Kent Shakespeare ]

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Cobalt Kid
BOHICA
Offline

posted

A few jokes for all you mad genius scientist types (*cough* Tamper Lad):

Argon walks into a bar, the barman says "we don't serve your kind in here." Argon doesn't react

and

What happens to chemists when they die? They barium...

From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged |

Cobalt Kid
BOHICA
Offline

posted

quote:
Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
A few jokes for all you mad genius scientist types (*cough* Tamper Lad):
What happens to chemists when they die? They barium...

They don't have to barium if they helium or curium first

From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged |

Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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posted

Where do they barium? In the krypton the hill? [Wink]

From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
Offline

posted

I haven't posted any Oregon jokes lately, and this needs to be remedied.

Welcome to Portland, where we have two seasons: Click Here For A SpoilerThe rainy season and July 17th.

Statistics reveal that last year, 52 Portlanders fell off their bicycles...

Click Here For A Spoiler...and drowned.

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Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.

From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008 | IP: Logged |

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