Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
Just copying this once again...
ISSUE ONE PLOT SUMMARY Senator Flem is the latest in a long line of Senators from Tenz's home district to be assassinated. Agent Spiffany delivers the message to Tenz's home that he has been drafted to run for office. While normally anyone would be crazy to run for a position with such a high mortality rate, Tenz figures anything has to be better than continuing to live at home with his crazy family, so he sets out to get the job, with the aid of his best friend from childhood turned campaign manager, Taryn Loy. They easily win the election thanks to Taryn's masterful campaign. It's not long before the first asssasination attempt of Tenz occurs, but he and Taryn manage to thwart and capture the would-be assassins. After interrogation, they find out that these guys were hired by Prince Evillo of Tartarus, so Tenz gets himself appointed liason to Tartarus to investigate. At the end of the issue, he finds that Agent Spiffany has used his rich father's influence to get himself re-assigned as an aid to Senator Kem. Tenz, Taryn, and Lester depart for Tartarus.
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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EDITOR'S COMMENTS ON SUMMARY, PLUS 1ST DRAFT OF FIRST FIVE PAGES
Do you really want me to be serious? You won't like me when I'm serious.
OK, go this way and you're abandoning the great pre-boot concept of Bismollian politics: the draft. I'd rather see Tenz get drafted but have it be the first-ever mistake by the draft system - they called one too many. (And Tenz gets there last because his beat-up cruiser broke down.) So the sheepish president or senate head or whomever comes up with the hastily-created "Senator At Large" position (which either Tenz or Cal will rename "Substitute Senator"). And on the way home, the cruiser breaks down again, and they are given a ride by... guess?
(And Lash, the whippin' thing is creepy. How about showing the Kems getting excited about the supposed wealth and status a Senator in the family would bring - even if that isn't quite true for an actual Bismoll senator.)
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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FIRST DRAFT OF PAGES 1-5
ISSUE 1, page 1...
Full-page splash City-shot...
caption: It was a dark and stormy night... ON BISMOLL!
page 2 panel 1: caption: Suddenly a shot rang out...ON BISMOLL!
(scene shows current senator being assassinated!)
bodygaurd 1: "Senator Flem-- He's been SHOT!"
bodygaurd 2: "Again!"
bodygaurd 3: "But this time its serious... he's DEAD!"
Page 3: Full-page splash of Tenzil at home-- title: "ELECTION DAY!"
Page 4 (follows full-page splash of Tenzil at home in kitchen cooking):
Panel 1: Mom! I can't find the seasoned rusty screws! I asked you to pick some up at the Grocery-a-Tron!
Panel 2: (from bedroom, lying down looking all sickly) Oh, Tenzil! You KNOW how nervous I am! I can't possibly be expected to do EVERYTHING around here!!
Panel 3: Uh, Mom, *I* do all the cooking and cleaning.
Panel 4: (Dad & Renkil enter kitchen) LAY OFF yer Ma, brat! Why can't you be more like yer brother Renkil? (Renkil has shit-eating grin) Ever since the LEGION disbanded, you've been mooching off us!
Panel 5: Uh, Dad, you guys got 90% of every check I made as Legion chef. And I'm the only one under this roof who has a job now!
Panel 6: Don't sass-talk me, Son! You ain't got so big that I can't bend you over my knee for a bare-assed whippin'!!!
Panel 7: (Tenzil, to self) Yeah, you'd like that, you Silverale freak!
Page 5
Panel 1: And take off them dad-blasted fruity lookin' SUNGLASSES, boy! You ain't no Bismollywood Star!
Panel 2: Shut UP, Dad!
Panel 3: Thassit! When you're under MY ROOF, you don't DISRESPECT me, boy! (unbuckles belt) Now drop them pants, it's whippin'-time!
Panel 4: **knock on door**
Panel 5: (Tenzil) Well, geez, don't EVERYONE rush to answer it at ONCE!
Panel 6: **Tenz opens door to reveal government official**
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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SECOND DRAFT OF PAGES 1-3
MATTER-EATER LAD #1
PAGE ONE
Caption: It was a dark and stormy night... ON BISMOLL!
Full-page splash of Bismoll's capital city, focusing in on a whorehouse where a murder is about to take place... A mysterious trenchcoated figure can be seen entering the whorehouse...
PAGE TWO
Panel One: Caption: Suddenly a shot rang out... ON BISMOLL! --Shows hand of trenchcoated figure firing a gun...
Panel Two: --Body of senator shown with scantily clad screaming woman
Panel Three: Official #1 (on portable vid-phone): "We have a problem... Senator Flem has been shot..."
Panel Four: Offical #2 (on portable vid-phone): "Again?"
Panel Five: Official #3 (on portable vid-phone): "That's the fifth time this month!"
Panel Six: Official #1 (on portable vid-phone): "But this time it's serious... he's dead!"
Panel Seven: Official #2 (on portable vid-phone): *gasp*
Panel Eight: Official #3 (on portable vid-phone): "We'll have to hold a lottery..."
PAGE THREE Splash Panel: Tenzil at home doing clearly doing several household chores (including cooking and vacuuming) simultaneously...
TITLE: "GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO EAT!"
GALCYC ENTRY ON BISMOLL: [explains what the hell Bismoll is... need to make this accessible, you know...]
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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PAGE FOUR SECOND DRAFT
PAGE FOUR
Panel 1 Tenzil (in kitchen): Hey mom? Did you picked up the rust-flavored screws at the Ultra-Megamart like I asked you to?
Panel 2: Mrs. Kem (in bedroom, lying down looking all sickly): Oh, Tenz! I didn't feel like going today. You know how my nerves are...!!
Panel 3 Tenzil (continuing cleaning as he puts on his coat): That's okay, mom. I'll run out and pick some up at at the corner store.
Panel 4 Mr. Kem (enters house, drunk, silverale in hand): Where the hell you goin' boy? Out spendin' my hard earned cash again? You've been moochin' off us since the Legion disbanded, and I ain't gonna put up with it much longer...
Panel 5 Tenz: Uh, Dad, you guys got 90% of every check I made as Legion chef. And I'm the only one under this roof who has a job now!
Panel 6 Mr. Kem: Don't sass-talk me, boy! You ain't got so big that I can't bend you over my knee for a bare-assed whippin'!!!
Panel 8 Mr. Kem: My boy's makin' me proud down down at the racetrack! He's hit upon a sure thing this time!
Panel 9 Tenz: That's what you guys have been saying for the past three months! And you keep losing!
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
PAGE FIVE SECOND DRAFT
PAGE FIVE
Panel 1 Mr. Kem (unbuckling belt): Thassit! When you're under MY ROOF, you don't DISRESPECT me, boy! Now drop them pants, it's whippin'-time!
Panel 2 Tenz: Dad!!!
Panel 3 Mr. Kem: And take off them dad-blasted fruity lookin' SUNGLASSES, boy! You ain't no Bismollywood Star! Doorbell rings Mr. Kem: Who tha hell is that?
Panel 4 Tenzil: *sigh*, I'll get it...
Panel 5 Tenz opens door to reveal Agent Spiffany!
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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And albino midgets. Can't go wrong with albino midgets. Especially if they've got nunchucks...
-------------------- The LMB Archives
From: The Loser Cave | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
I like the way you think, Lou! You may just be promoted from colorist to colorist/co-plotter!
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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