Hakk: Thank Demonica we slipped out unnoticed when Thora and her allies arrived!
Wheez: We reanimated tend to be overlooked... unless one of the "lifers" wants something done or someone to pin blame on!
Panel 2
Hakk: You realize we could go to the dining hall and warn Queen Drura right now. We could save her!
Wheez: Just because maggots have devoured most of your brain doesn't mean you should be an idiot. The mind-witch has them all in Thora's thrall! Queen Drura is going to perish, and Thora will take over. We would be insane to stand in her way. Let the "lifers" fend for themselves.
Panel 3
Hakk: Well then, you want to go to Flesh Eaters until this brouhaha settles down?
Wheez: Now you're talking smart! Let's go!
Panel 4
Sugyn: THERE ye are! No-good reanimated slackers! Get your worthless tails into the dining hall, there's dinnerware to be collected and washed!
Wheez: B... but, M'Lord Sugyn...
Panel 5
Sugyn: NOW, lads. I'm not the sort who likes to repeat meself.
Panel 6
*Hakk & Wheez, looking sad, turn toward the dining hall*
Wheez: Damnation. And Velvet was performing tonight at Flesh Eaters. *sigh* Stupid "lifer!"
Hakk: I certainly preferred M'Lord Sugyn when he was a member of the Devil's Dozen. Now that he's a good guy, he's got such an attitude!
caption: Good Lord, there's a lot going on this issue... anyhoo, let's catch up with he former Devil's Dozen...
Dr. Orbal: My darling Tess! Are you still maintaining sufficient control of the rampaging demon inside you?
Tess: Yes, daddy! Your serum was totally effective!
Panel 2
Dr. Orbal: My serums are ALWAYS effective... except on myself. *choke!*
Wild Huntsman: Boo Hoo! Now can we cut the pity party short and get down to it, please?
Panel 3
Dr. Orbal: Blunt as always, Huntsman... but you are also right. Time grows short! The winds of change threaten to become a hurricane!
Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid: Creepy!!
Panel 4
Dr. Orbal: Indeed. Now listen closely. I've no great love for our former leige Evillo, as some of you do, but I certainly believe he is the lesser evil between Malefico or Thora and her cohorts. With the device on Bismoll, Evillo merely intended to solidify his rule of Tartarus... but both Malefico and Thora desire no less than absolute control of the entire universe!
Panel 5
Lotus-Fruit Lass: What sort of device would give one the power to control the universe?
Dr. Orbal: No less than a machine... that performs miracles! And it MUST not fall into the wrong hands!
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Caption: Meanwhile, in Bismopolis, the capital city of Bismoll...
Panel shows Veilmist, Malefico, and Evillo teleporting into Tenzil's office on Bismoll.
Panel 2
Malefico: Remarkable! Such precision! She's teleported us into the exact office we needed! Now let's grab the Miracle Machine and get it to Mistress Aries!
Evillo: All these years I've known it was here, thinking about what I would do with it if I had it... but giving it to Mistress Aries is such a brilliant idea!
Panel 3
Malefico: I concur! Now, where would I hide an almost infinitely powerful machine if I were a Bismollian politician...
Panel 4
Panel shows the Evillo and Malefico searching the room, as Veilmist looks on...
Panel 5
Evillo: Hmm... what about... in the refrigerator?
Malefico: I never understood why Bismollians have refigerators. It's not as though their food spoils or anything.
Panel 6
Evillo: Eureka!
Malefico: You found it?
Evillo: No, but I found an old book on some Earth mathematician named Archimedes. Wonder what that's doing in here?
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PAGE 18
Panel 1
Scene switches to the security monitor station inside the Bismollian capital building, where a security officer is omnicomming his superior...
Security Officer: Commander Bek! There appear to be three intruders in the Capital Building. They're in Senator Kem's office...
Commander Bek: I'll inform the Minister of Security...
Panel 2
Bek omnicoms his superior...
Commander Bek: Minister Gil, I've just been informed that three individuals have broken into Senator Kem's office!
Minister Gil: Really? Three? I'll notify the President!
Panel 3
Gil call the Bismollian President...
Minister Gil: Mr. President! I've just been informed that three individuals have apparently broken into Senator Kem's office in the Capital Building!
President: What? You mean three people have gotten past our 8 billion erglok security system? But it was guaranteed that no less than a dozen super-powered criminals would be required to break in! You know what this means, don't you?
Panel 4
Minister Gil: I do indeed, sir.
President: We get our money back! Yay! That should not only pay off the planetary debt, but pay for that new Presidential retreat on Eden Island I've been wanting to build!
Panel 5
Minister Gil: But don't you think we should be a bit worried about the miracle machine, Mr. President?
President: Why? They can't possibly operate it without Loy, and that even with that crazy old coot it never did quite work right!
[ June 19, 2005, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
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PAGE 19
Panel 1
Caption: Back in Tenzil's office, the royal father and son are frustrated from their search...
Malefico: Perhaps we should've grabbed Loy first? He might know where his machine is kept...
Evillo: Perhaps, let me think about the problem some more...
Panel 2
Evillo sits down at Tenzil's desk and begins to play with his globe...
Evillo: This always helps me to concentrate when I have a problem...
Panel 3
Close up on the globe; Malefico can be seen in the background with a look of realization on his face...
Panel 4
Malefico: That globe!
Evillo: What about it? I've got one exactly like it on my desk in my office!
Panel 5
Malefico: That's just the point. Why would there be a globe of Tartarus on the desk of a Bismollian senator?
Evillo: That is odd! Especially considering Tarturus Globes, Incorporated, is really a front for my smuggling operations. All of these globes come with... secret compartments...
Panel 6
Evillo opens the secret compartment on the globe...
Evillo: Eureka!
Malefico: Not another book!
Evillo: No. This time we've got what we came for.
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PAGE 20
Panel 1
Suddenly, the LoSCOA drops down, completely surrounding our heroes...
Tenzil: Hey! It's the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins!
Plant Lad: Babes!
Panel 2
Drura: What is the meaning of this? I am your Queen!
Breastica: You are Queen no longer, weak one! Soon you shall be carrion for the three-headed hounds of Tartarus!
Panel 3
Various members of the LOSCOEA quickly overpowers Plant Lad, Spaceopoly Boy, and Echo-Chamber Chet. Questar rises from his seat and flies towards them. Taryn leaps to do battle with two of the assassins...
Taryn: Queen, we could use some help here! Can't you blast them with one of your diseases?
Panel 4
Members of the LOSCOEA overpower the Westerner, Lester Spiffany, and Sugyn. Several pieces of Brittle Boy can be seen. Incredible Girl can be seen reversing the direction of an LOSCOEAer who tries to attack her..
Drura: I'm trying to hit them with everything I have... nothing seems to be working though...
Panel 5
Questar can be seen blasting one of the LOSCOEAers, Incredible Girl clutches over puking...
Tenzil: Drura! Stop! I think you're affecting I.G.!
Panel 6
Tenzil dodges two LOSCOEAers who collide with one another, as Renkil is holding his own against another, one of the LOSCOEAers throws a chair at Questar, who vanishes in a flash...
Tenzil: Jumpin' fishhooks! We can't hold out against these crazy, busty assassins much longer!
[ June 22, 2005, 06:41 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
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*Hakk and Wheez are clearing the table at the time of the attack; the battle rages on around them*
Hakk: Blasted Sugyn! I knew this would happen!
Wheez: Settle down-- we'll get out of this madness somehow!
Panel 2
*the chair thrown on the previous page smashes into Wheez, shattering him*
Wheez: ArrrRRRrrgh!
Hakk: WHEEZ!! NO!
Panel 3
*Hakk, with fist in air*
Hakk: DAMN YOU, Sugyn! Damn you to the fiery pits below Tartarus! I'll see that you pay for this, if it's the last thing I...
Panel 4
Hakk: ***AWWWPPPPP!***
*scene shows Hakk being blasted by geyser, shatterng his fragile zombie form*
Panel 5
*shows Sugyn, all wet from expelling geyser*
Sugyn: Stupid zombie got in my way!
Panel 6
*Sugyn KO'ed by Assassin*
Sugyn: Urrrgh!
Panel 7
*shows Sugyn collapse to floor, surrounded by the unconscious Spaceopoly Lad, Chet, Lester, Tiffany, Plant Lad, Westerner, Incredible Girl and pieces of Brittle Boy*
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
PAGE 23
Panel 1
*Questar reappears in the the room where Thora, Azura, Eve, and the LOSCOEA were meeting earlier*
Questar: Golly! I must have teleported as an automatic response! But where am I?
Panel 2
*Thora is standing in the room, now alone*
Thora: Halt, cretinous male! I, Thora of Taltar, command you to surrender!
Questar: I, Questar, have heard your name, and that you are a vile villainess! It would be ungentlemanly for me not to warn you that I am a mighty super-hero, with many great powers! I advise you to stand down!
Panel 3
Thora: That's just the kind of condescending chivalry I'd expect from a male dog! I, Thora of Taltar, shall show you no mercy as I remove your vital organs and feed them to the Tartaran devil-hawks!
Questar: Let it be known that I, Questar, tried to avoid conflict on this occasion. But I am left with no choice!
Panel 4
*Questar tries to blast Thora, who leaps over his shot*
Thora: It will take more than that to defeat Thora of Taltar, male-scum!
Questar: I, Questar, am just getting started!
Panel 5
*Thora is on top of Questar, and has him pinned down*
Thora: Ha! I, Thora of Taltar, did not expect this battle to be so easy!
Questar: Ooomf You will soon learn that discounting Questar, hero to millions, is a mistake!
Panel 6
*Thora and Questar locked in combat*
Thora's thoughts: Devils! Even though I, Thora of Taltar, should hate this male dog, there's something about him that makes me want him to win...
Questar's thoughts: Why I am having such strange thoughts about this villainess? I, Questar, only like nice women...
[ June 23, 2005, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
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Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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PAGE 25
Tenzil Caption: Suffering Sasquatch! It didn't take long for Lash and Ester to get sidetracked on another subplot, did it? Well, they'll get back to me next page, and reveal how I heroically save the day against the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins! However, for now it's time for another EXTRA SPECIAL SPECIAL EXTRA! This #3 in a series, you know!
Panel 1
*Tenzil addressing the reader*
Tenzil: Since this is the last issue of Matter-Eater Lad: The Series, I'd thought I'd use the space to clear up a few unanswered questions from the series...
Panel 2
<Tenzil's Office, in a state of ransack after Malefico and Evillo's visit>
Tenzil: Wowzers! This place is certainly a mess! I'll have to leave a note for Shirley from the Congressional Janitorial Staff. Anyhoo, I was just going to explain that since pretty much anything is food to us Bismollians, we generally store valuables and things we don't want eaten in refigerators! It kind of makes sense by Silver Age Bizarro logic....
Panel 3
Tenzil: Many of you may be wondering what happened to the extra-assed parakat from way back in #1, who was spying on Evillo's henchmen when they were spying on us! Well, as it turns out, just like me and Questar before him, he now has his own reality holovision show! He's a kind of travelling lawyer that goes around to different planets defending those who've been unjustly accused. I wish I'd thought of that gig...
Panel 4
Tenzil: What's the deal with Opposable Big Toes Boy, you ask? I mean, he barely spoke for his first few appearance and then suddenly we reveal that he's actually super-intelligent! Well, as it turns out, Big Toes is actually the agent of some superior extra-dimensional race sent to our dimension for some purpose or other beyond our comprehension! I'm sure glad they did though, because it surprising how often having a guy with four hands comes in... er... handy!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Whatever happened to Dev-Em, and will he ever get his comeuppance for being so creepy towards Lester? Or whatabout Lester and Tiffany's long lost sibling? Or what about Spandex Dexter and his friends From the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times? Or what about our friends from the Super-Stalag? Stay tuned, loyal readers! These questions and more will be answered, but not until my next series!
Panel 6
Tenzil: So I hope you enjoy the rest of the book, and be sure pick up Twisted Knickers, my first Trade Paperback, when should be coming out very soon!
[ June 24, 2005, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
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*Renkil, Tenzil, Taryn, Dezmund, Pam and Drura are the only ones still fighting the assassins; they are in a circle, backs to each other, surrounded by the assassins*
Drura: Guys, I'm sorry about this... in hindsight, it probably was a bad idea for me to accept the offer of ruling a planet I knew nothing about.
Renkil: You were a wonderful queen, Drura.
Panel 2
Dezmund: I calculate that this revolt is more likely the result of outside influences rather than an outcry against your rule.
Taryn: An outside influence by whom is the question.
Panel 3
off-panel voice: Let your query be answered, Taryn Loy!
Tenzil: Oh my giddy aunt!
Panel 4
*Thora, Azura, Eve, Veilmist, Evillo, Malefico and Taryn's pop Dr. Loy*
Thora: Excellent work, my League! Thank you for leaving some of the male dogs for me!
Panel 5
*Thora uses ray gun to zap Tenzil, Renkil and Dezmund*
Panel 6
Taryn: Daddy?!? Thora, you WITCH! Kidnapping him was not part of our arrangement! If you've HARMED him...!
Thora: SILENCE! I, Thora of Taltar, grew weary of waiting for you to live up to your end of the agreement we made for Bismoll to avoid war with Taltar! Fortunately, my idiotic former husband and father-in-law delivered unto me the means to get your father's services quite quickly!
Panel 7
Taryn: Daddy'll NEVER help you!
Thora: Thanks to my ally Eve Aries, he has no choice in the matter.
Panel 8
*Thora blasts Drura with the ray*
Pam: Popping paperwork! Drura!
Panel 9
Azura: You shot a woman? I am surprised.
Thora: Thora of Taltar hasn't forgotten when the witch gave me the pain plague! League! You know the plan! Take the subjects to the lab! And to the dungeons with the rest!!
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
PAGE 27
Panel 1
Caption: Meanwhile...
Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid: You know... I've been thinking of changing my name.
Apollo: What's wrong with "Stick With a Nail In it Kid"?
Panel 2
SWANITK: Oh, it's okay. I like being named after my weapon, but I keep thinking I'd sound tougher if I painted it and then used the color in my name. You know... "Black Stick With a Nail In it", or "The Green Stick With a Nail In It" or somethin'...
Panel 3
Two-Faced Tess: You two hush up back there! We're almost to Evillo's castle! How much further, Lotus-Fruit Lass?
Panel 4
Lotus-Fruit Lass: I've only been through these underground tunnels once before, but, as I recall, that trap door up ahead should take us to the castle dungeon...
Panel 5
Wild Huntsman: Let's just hope Degree Damsel managed to unlock it...
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Half-shot, as if eyes are only half-open; a person in a labcoat can be seen.
Panel 3
full shot of Dr. Loy peering down, holding needles and scary surgery-looking thingies;
Panel 4
Tiffany: *bound to table* NOOOOO! What are you doing to me?!?
Dr. Loy: Relax. I'm done already. With you AND your brother.
Panel 5
Tiffany: *looking over, sees Lester* Lester!
Lester: So glad you could join us, sister.
Panel 6
Tiffany: What is the meaning of this? What have you done to us?
Dr. Loy: Thora wanted to know what supranormal attributes you two possess, if any. My job was to find out if either of you have the metagene, and if so, what powers it granted you.
Panel 7
Tiffany: Oh. Then you are now aware of my psychic powers, my berserker-rage powers and my super-monster-attracting powers.
Dr. Loy: Nonsense. You tested negative for the metagene.
Letser: I KNEW IT!! I KNEW IT!!!
Panel 8
Dr. Loy: *turns to Lester, who is also bound to a stretcher* YOU, however... tested positive.
Lester: What? Bah! I don't have any powers!
Dr. Loy: Incorrect. Your metagene allows you to access a another dimension, a dimension I have named Opulencia Major. This dimension is apparently home to what I call the Lords of Oodles Of Currency. It seems you have a way with money, Lester Spiffany.
Panel 9
Lester: Balderdash! I've been stone cold broke before, like when Daddy cut me off... nearly a peasant!
Dr. Loy: Aah, you see... your ablity to access Opulencia Major is tied in to your mental state. In essence, your powers only work when you are feeling superior!
Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
PAGE 29
Panel 1
Lester: What? You're saying that I can access as much money as I want, as long as I'm feeling good about myself! But... bah! How can I ever feel good about myself again when I'm so hideously fat?
Panel 2
Dr. Loy: Oh, actually I've already taken care of that. I just administered a treatment which should reverse the effects of your super-fattening. It should be taking ahold any second now...
Panel 3
<In a flash of light, Lester's body begins to go through odd changes...>
Tiffany: Oh, my!
Panel 4
<Lester, strapped to the stretcher, is suddenly no longer super-fatassed, but still rather pudgy...>
Lester: Great Ergloks! But... I'm still not back to my normal self!
Panel 5
Dr. Loy: That is because my treatment only removed the super-charged fat cells... all fat gained through poor diet and lack of exercise since your super-fatassing still remains!
Lester: Stupid science! What use is it? Now I'm still fat, even if less so, and my pants are too big!
Panel 6
Dr. Loy: I suppose I could let you out of your straps for a moment to tighten your belt...
Lester: That would be fabulous!
Panel 7
Caption: As the temporarily freed Lester tightens his belt buckle, he presses a secret button hidden in it...
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