posted
[STU looks with pride and love at Winema, then gives her a long, smoldering kiss.]
It is appropriate that the lovely Winema is at my side, because the second part of my announcement -- the even better news -- concerns her!
As you all may know, Winema and I have been madly, deeply in love for so, so long... well, since last night. But that night of passion we shared stretched into an eternity of carnal bliss!
And today, it is with great joy and rising excitement that I announce...
...that Winema and I are engaged, and will soon wed!
That's right, Winema shall be your much-beloved Queen for Life, and shall rule nobly and justly at my side!
[STU gives Winema another long, steamy kiss.]
Do you have anything you'd like to add, my smokin' hottie?
Registered: Jul 2003
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It gives me GREAT honor to accept your proposal of engagement, my love.
(Kisses STU long and passionately, then glances over at Lightning Lad)
Now it's time to show you all what you've been waiting for... the TRUE power behind the throne!
(Reaches down and RIPS OFF STU's prominent metal codpiece, displaying a large piercing in the shape of a starburst, covering, oh, maybe 1/3 of what's down there)
DANCE for us, my darling! And all of you commoners, KNEEL before the POWER of STU! (And Winema!)
-------------------- You can never quit believiing in your dreams ... or yourself. ----- You GOTTA listen to Levi Kreis.
From: Aggieland | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
*Suddenly a rotten tomato flies through the air and splatters across STUs exposed weenie. Three more follow in quick sucession hitting Winema fully in the face and going some way to making her look markedly more attractive. A significant portion of the crowd cheers and turns to look at Lucien Lad, dressed from head to toe in fetching blue camoflage gear (OK so it's not terribly effective as camoflage but it's just too cute for words) and carrying a large bag of rotten tomatos*
What? What!?!! I'm just hear listening to this thrilling announcement. I didn't throw anything. These are for when we get a bit peckish later. The ones that hit those two nonces on the blacony were thrown by a mysterious figure that rushed off straight after he threw them and dissappeared. It wasn't me. There is no Resistance. It's secret. Shhh.
*another four tomatos quickly follow and hit STU and his tart... uh, Queen*
What? Still wasn't me. Honest.
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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[STU wakes up and walks over to the window. Bevis and others are outside, throwing tomatoes and yelling invectives at thin air.]
How odd! Winema and I retired to our bedchamber hours ago. Can they really believe that we're still standing out on the podium now...?
(This supports even more the idea that there is some mass illusion being cast over the people of LW that is causing them to behave erratically... something must be done about this dire and widespread problem...)
Registered: Jul 2003
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We of the STU administration deeply regret the shocking incident that occurred last night during our very important announcement.
Although there was supposed to be a costume reveal, it was not our intention that things go that far. In fact, the problem was due entirely to an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. That codpiece was manufactured by cheap, undependable labor on an inferior message board (we think you know which one we're referring to).
Had the costume piece in question been manufactured here on Legion World, there would have been no such incident.
The regrettable outcome of this incident only reinforces a point this august administration has been making all along:
Be a patriot -- support Legion World (and STU)!
Registered: Jul 2003
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Look, I've not been throwing tomatos at all. It was someone else trying to undermine you and grab the reins of power.
Oooh, in fact I think I might have some important information about that. The person who actually threw the tomatos, since it wasn't me honest, suddenly appeared from nowhere behind me, chucked a tomato and then disappeared again. Say, almost like they *phased* in and out of the crowd. Maybe, just maybe, there's someone within your inner circle (like really, really close. like inimately. Like, you know, someone who you're having carnal knowledge with. Like someone with no dress sense or panache whatsoever. Possibly with the initials WW. Am I making myself clear here?) who is trying to undermine your authority with the populace so they can topple you from power and take control themselves once they manouver themselves into a position where they could, ooh I dunno, expose your privates to the barely disguised sniggers of the Legion Worlders. I mean, it's only a conspiracy theory but you know what they say, there's no smoke without fire.
Speaking of smoke and fire I think possibly someone has set fire to your balcony STU. But it wasn't me, honest. This box of matches and firelighters just so happens to be in my possesion because it's nearly bonfire night. In ten months. But you can never be too prepared.
Heh heh, don't you just love the power of propoganda. You can spread disent without even trying. Mwahahahahaa!!!
Umm. Ignore that last bit. I was just, you know, conjecturing and stuff. Not trying to drive a wedge between STU and that shameless hussy by his side. Nuh-uh, not I. I'm innocent and pure and not a Resistance fighter at all.
Hot damn I'm good at this.
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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I feel personally injured by that shameless, tasteless display, and on behalf of the citizens of Legion World, I plan to file a class action suit against everyone involved. Damages will not be in excess of the total wages earned by the Stu Administration for the past three years.
-------------------- Some people are like slinkys: not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you knock them down a flight of stairs
From: Penthouse atop Levitz Hall, LMBP Plaza, Embassy Row, Legion World | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Originally posted by His imperial majesty, STU: And today, it is with great joy and rising excitement that I announce that Winema and I are engaged, and will soon wed!
I wish you both luck in your union.
Oh, and Winenema dear, make sure this is what you want. After all, you don't even command a fraction of the power that I have, and I was forced to reshape the entire universe to retcon MY union with Stu out of continuity...
Congratulations!
-------------------- Some people are like slinkys: not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you knock them down a flight of stairs
From: Penthouse atop Levitz Hall, LMBP Plaza, Embassy Row, Legion World | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Originally posted by His imperial majesty, STU: First, the good news:
For the good of Legion World, I have decided to raise taxes even more! This means that there will be more funds for public works, for the arts, and for the general enjoyment and well-being of all LW citizens!
Now, since we don't deal with actual money, the taxes will be in the form of posts, to be remitted to the post count of yours truly, your much-beloved Leader for Life.
Here is the tax assessment schedule:
Use of smiley/graemlin = tax of 5 posts per smiley/graemlin used
Contributing to Guess Who = tax of 10 posts per guess
Contributing to a trivia thread = tax of 20 posts per guess or question
Adding fanfic/art to Bits = tax of 50 posts per submission
Innuendo = tax of 70 posts each
Flirting = tax of 100 posts each
Discussing the Legion or any characters or scenarios thereof = tax of 250 posts
Slandering the good name of his Imperial Majesty, STU = tax of 500 posts, plus "community service"
I'm sure this new tax scheme will meet with all the admiration it so richly deserves!
Geez STU, I wish you had consulted with me before you made this announcement.
I have gone over the by-laws of Legion World and the Leader does not have the authority to impose any tax, fee, duty, levy, or garnishment of any type.
Such tax, fee, duty, levy, or garnishment must first be approved by the Finance, Expeditures, and Flirting Committee at their monthly "Taxes and Beer Drinking (Hey where's my beer) Meeting". After that the proposed tax shall be typed on official Legion World stationary by Shirley when she gets back from her yearly 11 month vacation (strong union). Then the proposal is read in falsetto voice by the Leader to each Legion World Member individually. After that, a poll is posted at the Planetary Chance Machine. Then if a majority votes that Dawnstar should have been retconned into a snake, the proposal goes back to the Committee for another round of beer drinking. After which, when everyone wakes up and says "Boy was I drunk last night" and looks at each other with embarassment, the proposal is given a final resting place in the circular file.
I am surprized you don't remember that as you were one of the signers. At least I think that is your paw print smudged in the lower left hand corner.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq: Such tax, fee, duty, levy, or garnishment must first be approved by the Finance, Expeditures, and Flirting Committee at their monthly "Taxes and Beer Drinking (Hey where's my beer) Meeting". After that the proposed tax shall be typed on official Legion World stationary by Shirley when she gets back from her yearly 11 month vacation (strong union). Then the proposal is read in falsetto voice by the Leader to each Legion World Member individually. After that, a poll is posted at the Planetary Chance Machine. Then if a majority votes that Dawnstar should have been retconned into a snake, the proposal goes back to the Committee for another round of beer drinking. After which, when everyone wakes up and says "Boy was I drunk last night" and looks at each other with embarassment, the proposal is given a final resting place in the circular file.
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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