posted
"A new threat has arisen!" shrieked Fat Cramer, running as fast as she could into Cobalt's security office. "Something terrible has happened to Amber and Umber and the Boyz, they've been chasing me for two hours trying to give me Botox injections! I think they're being mind-controlled by the Brood. And they don't even have minds to begin with!"
Then, to her horror, FC realized that four kilted figures were materializing in the office. Sonnie, Harbinger and Numf-el had been transported and were continuing their peculiar Scottish-dialect argument (or so it appeared), but were now accompanied by the dreaded Bagpipes Boy.
"Crap. Yer right. So much for you lot then." said Bagpipes Boy. And before anyone could stop him, the sounds of Amazing Grace filled the Security Office.
posted
Thankfully, for once, the Universe was kind and Bagpipe Boy was suddenly sucked out of existence by a kindly mini-blackhole that happened to be out on a shopping trip to Legion Worlds top milinewr that day. The blackhole may have been one of the most deadly forces in the universe but that didn't mean that even it could stand the cat-being-strung-up-by-it's-privates type meowling sound that BB was generating so simply ate him up in a single SCHULLRP!!!!
The beautiful silence that followed the very short but deservedly painful death of Bagpipe Boy was broken by the shocking announcement from Outside Miner that.....
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
...that one of the Brood had survived the cataclysmic attack. Petty Officer Marvin of the Brood had been sighted, headed this way and carrying a tin whistle and a bhoran.
"This could be even worse than the bagpipes," muttered Outdoor Miner. "That's what you get for saying 'begorrah', you get a Celtic music invasion. If Harbinger, Sonnie and Numf-el would just stop arguing, maybe they could put an end to this terrible threat."
posted
Unfortunately the chances of that happening, as Sonnie had just hidded Harbinger's favourite stapler in a moment of childishness, was very very slim - we're talking this chance makes Ronn Kar on a Calissa Flockhart (however you spell her name, you know, Ally McBeal stick insect woman) diet look fat! - so their arguement raged on as viciously as ever, their slang getting thicker and and less understanable - even to themselves - as the seconds ticked by.
Fat Cramer, in a moment of purest genius that would go down as one of the true Legion World Legendary Ideas announced.....
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
...Fat Cramer announced, "Time for tea! Everybody take five, relax and we'll find a solution for this later. Besides, I have summoned the most dire weapon on Legion World: the two LORI MORNINGS!"
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Suddenly, dueling dual duars appeared in mid air and began a deadly deadening duet!
ABNQNKid yelled "Ahhhh! What's that? Make it stop!"
FC replied "Oh, that's right, you've never experienced the appearance of two LORI MORNINGS have you. There is nothing more ... physically painful than having the two of them around. Just wait, this is just the intro, it gets worse!"
As she finished, the dueling dual duars seemed to shimmer in mid air and what appeared to be matched holes appeared. From inside each one stepped identical Loris!
"So! After all this time, you've finally realized that only I can save Legion World! It's about time you called on me." said Lori Morning.
"No, you idiotic impersonator, they didn't call you! They called me because they know only I can save them!" replied LoriMorning.
"You can not, only I can!" argued Lori Morning
"No you can't, it's me they need!" retorted LoriMorning
"NO, me!" yelled Lori Morning
"No....ME! shouted LoriMorning
"ME!
"NO.. ME!"
"ME, bitch!" screeched Lori Morning
"Bitch? I'll show you!" screamed LoriMorning and launched herself at Lori Morning.
It was at this point that Petty Officer Marvin of the Brood arrived with his tin whistle and bhoran. LoriMorning ducked and Lori Morning flew over her and landing on top of Marvin. LoriMorning then jumped on her (them) and they got into a classic cartoon catfight!
As the others watched, the fight, they could ocassionally see an arm with a tin whistle, or a Lori Morning leg sticking out from the melee.
Finally, the tumult wound down and the LMBPers were able to see the result. To their surprise...
-------------------- "Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
From: Paragon City on patrol | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Finally, the tumult wound down and the LMBPers were able to see the result. To their surprise...
Meanwhile somewhere in time and space: Non-Sequitor said "We're safe for now, thank God we're in a bowling alley."
Back in regular time and space: Finally, the tumult wound down and the LMBPers were able to see the result. To their surprise...
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
To their surprise, they were all out of tea and biscuits. So they ordered some more, contemplating the sorry result of the battle that lay before their eyes. The two Lori Mornings emerged from a cloud of dust and destruction, carrying Petty Officer Marvin of the Brood between them.
"Well, that's that. Any other problems you need fixing?" asked LoriMorning. Lori Morning stuck out her tongue.
posted
"I do" said Mordru, the wife of Mordru, out of thin air. This was one hot babe, except for the fact that she had a big white snowy beard! Worse, she had magical power, and used it to destroy all the tea and cookies in a ten mile radius! The LMBPers fell to the ground in tears, while Fat Cramer's eyes flared up in rage! Even Harbinger, Sonnie and Numf-El stopped their arguement (none could understand it by now anyway, it had strangely turned into the ancient language of the Huns). Even Petty Officer Marvin of the Brood teamed up with the LMBP, since he was world-renowned for his love of tea!
FC led the charge against Mordra, as this time, the LMBP cut loose!!!!
Meanwhile, the group of LMBers with Crujeckie and Captain Lightbulb wondered what to do now that the alien invasion was over. Little did they know that...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
Meanwhile, the group of LMBers with Crujeckie and Captain Lightbulb wondered what to do now that the alien invasion was over. Little did they know that Captain Lightbulb's next idea would be so profound that it would change all of them forever!
But as his lightbulb lit up, Antequated Forms of Communication Lass suddenly appeared on the scene with a dire warning...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...the world is imperiled! The universe itself is crashing in on itself! The devourer of worlds is coming! Climactus!"
Captain Lightbulb thought now might be a good time to express his idea, so...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
so CL says, "Guys, I have an idea! What if..."
But before he could finish his sentence, the Princess suddenly spoke up, "Wait! If this is really AFoCL, then why his she speaking to us normally? Doesn't she always try to send us messages in some unorthodox and antequated manner?"
As the assembled LMBers contemplated the possibility that this was not their friend Antequated Forms of Communication Lass, but instead an imposter, one of them started pointing at the sky and yelling...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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