"It's a huge amount of semen and vaginal secretion, falling down on Legion World! Disgusting!"
"Hahaha!" yelled ATFC Lass, as she suddenly turned into one of the LMBP's feared and dreaded enemy! She was the one who dropped Nads Kicker Lad out of the sky with no limbs, sent Madrox the Multiple Durlan against them, and then took away the power of speech from Lash, Super Lad and Cobalt Kid when they had figured out the mystery! The cum falling down from the sky was actually part of something else bigger! For she was...!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Laughing so hard that she tore a hole in the space/time continum and dissapeared. None of the LMBPers had a chance to see who she really was.
Although Lardy thought he knew, but he was wrong and whoever he thinks it is, it can't be, so just ask him who it is if you want to know who it isn't. Kapeesh?
And anyway, because nature abhores a Vacuum, Except in the case of Hummer Lass, or Yugo Lass, whichever she is in this story, the evil Villaness was instantly repalced by Bagpipes Boy.
Bagpipes Boy looked around intently until he spotted Harbinger, then with an evil smile he raised his pipes to his lips, inflated his bag, and began to blow...
-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
...and was immediately felled by the Lard Force.
"Perfect, Lardy", said Crujeckie. "One more note out of you and you'll get turned into some European country, Bagpipes."
The others were trying to wipe assorted celestial secretions off themselves, when Grey BIrd Boy said, "Perhaps we can convince Bagpipes Boy to join us in our fight against injustice."
"Anything!"intoned Bagpipes Boy. "Just don't send me back to that space vacuum. Here - I'll share my fudge with you. And I can tell you what Antiquated Forms of Communication Lass was up to - she's really my twin sister!"
"Okay, pal," said Lard Lad. "Spill it. But don't squeak on the high notes."
Bagpipes Boy then revealed a plan so deadly that even the most battle-hardened of our heroes were shocked.
"So that's what she's planning", growled Fat Cramer. "There's only one way to stop this..."
posted
But first we really must find a new source of tea and biscuts. I'm totaly, like realy, fatigued and I need a quick pick me up.
So, because their leader fat Cramer was feeling just a little under the weather, the LMBPers retired back into wherever it was that they just came out of. (Note to self: I've realy got to read more of the story before I post)
And anyway Crujectra and several of the other LMBPers wanted a shower, and even those who didn't want a shower, wanted to help Crujectra with hers. But before any of the shower scenes - which are very important to an opus of this magnitude - could be written, something amazing interupted the proceedings.
Something Amazing appeared before them and Introduced himself.
"Hello one and all," he smiled in that amazing way of his, "my name is Something Amazing."
He then produced a large platter of amazing biscuts and a pot of amazing tea. The LMBPers were, well... Amazed.
"I shall be off now." He said amazingly. "I must get back to the Amazing Cave and whip up an Amazing dinner for you all to be amazed by later. Ta-Ta."
And amazingly, he simply dissapeared.
Lardy stared at the vacant spot where their visitor had just stood and muttered, "First person who says, that was amazing, gets a Lard Force kick in the ass."
Meanwhile Crujectra used the confusion generated by Something Amazing's amazing appearance to slip quietly away to the showers. After locking the door, and throwing all seventeen deadbolts, plugging thirty two peepholes, and mentally projecting an illusion of steam clouds throughout the room, she disrobes, and steps into the shower only to find...
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Just as soon as the Check Clears!)
From: The Back Office in Abin's Fixit Shop. | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
...only to find that her illusion powers were spinning out of control! She now realized that she had just been under the influence of Climactus, and had created several illusions to discourage the LMBP from getting involved!
What she had done was make it seem like the female helping Climactus had dissapeared when she had not! The female now hovered near the LMBP, although they did not know where!
Bagpipes Boy had come back to join the LMBP, although whether he was on their side or not, none could really tell. Was he trustworthy or another agent of Climactus and his female ally?
Crujeckie was not even disrobed, so there would be no nudity shots of her either! "Dammit!" yelled Cobalt Kid from his computer!
Crujeckie immediately stopped her illusions, as the LMBP found themselves in the middle of a grassy knoll, sitting in a circle. Bagpipes Boy was there, as was Petty Officer Marvin of the Brood, now an LMBP ally, and Captain Lightbulb. The skies were still covered with semen, Climactus was still attacking. The mysterious female was still a mystery (though Lardy's answer is still wrong, so just ask him to eliminate one possiblity).
"What do we do now?" said Lash Lad suddenly arriving with Cobalt Kid and Super Lad Kid. "When you learned it was Climactus," said Cobalt, "Crujeckie sent a mental projection to her brother Crusader on the outpost, who sent me one with his telepathic powers. This knowledge snapped the three of us out of our state of not being able to talk. It was Climactus and his ally who did that to Nad's Kicker Lad. And I think I know who she is, and why Nad's Kicker is involved. Captain Lightbulb, do you have any idea"
Before he could answer, the omni-com went off! It was Fat Cramer, (who was not there with them remember)! Her team was being attacked by Whordru (or Mordra, whatever you want to call her), the hot chick with the big beard and magic powers! They needed help desperately! With two fronts of battle, EDE decided...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Ahem! Excuse me, Petty Officer Marvin of the Brood is with Fat Cramer's group fighting Whordru, not with Captain Lightbulb's group. Maybe a summary may be in order to explain which LMBers are where!
Whatever the case, post away and get as crazy as you want! Whatever continuity is wrecked, someone will fix it!
*end Interlude*
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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that his first priority was to stop the rift in the space-time continuum through which the two teams were intermingling.
"I can't tell who is where, and who is fighting whom at this point", he sighed. "We'll never fight off our foes if this keeps going. Fortunately, the Lard Force can travel across space-time, so perhaps I can use Lardy on both fronts. But I don't want to wear him out."
He acknowledged Fat Cramer on the Omnicom. "What's the news with Whordru, FC?" he asked.
"It's been rough, Eryk", she replied. "But I think we'll hold her off. She keeps tripping on her beard and she's beginning to tire. I'm just worried about you guys, Bagpipes was here, now I guess he's slipped through space-time into your group. I don't trust him. I think his bagpipes are really some elaborate sex-toy. Just a warning."
"Oh, no!" cried EDE. "I just saw him heading for Crujeckie..."
From: Café Cramer | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
"Oh, no!" cried EDE. "I just saw him heading for Crujeckie..."
"Don't worry, Eryk, just keep the space-time continuum rift through which the teams were intermingling open for a moment and I'll send the exact help that you need!" FC replied.
Moments later through the rift can the help that FC mentioned...the two Lori Mornings!!!!!
"Oh, groan!" groaned Eryk "FC, why you do dis to me!" but he got no reply because in his startlement at seeing the two Loris, he had let the rift close. "Great, now WE'RE stuck with them!"
"Here I come to save the day!" sang LoriMorning
"Get her! Now she thinks she's Mighty Mouse, or Deputy Dog or one of those other cartoon heroes!" scoffed Lori Morning.
"I am a hero!" protested LoriMorning "Didn't I stop that evil Marvin of the Brood?"
"No you didn't, I did!" said Lori Morning
"Did not! I did" argued LoriMorning
"Liar!" I did!" challenged Lori Morning
"Don't you call me a liar, bitch!" screamed LoriMorning and with that she launched herself at Lori Morning.
Lori Morning tried to duck but LoriMorning was ready for that move this time and landed squarly on her. The two of them immediately transformed into the traditional cartoon catfight with Lori legs and Morning arms peeking out from the tumult on occasion.
The screeching they produced as they battled was horrendous, sounding like a combination of fingernails scratching down a chalk board and someone stepping on a cat's tail.
As the pitch of the screeching reached it's apex, a sonorous humming resounded through the area and Bagpipe Boy's bagpipes exploded in a cacophony of screeches & caterwaling.
The aftermath of the explosion not only left Bagpipe Boy bagless (or rather, pipeless) it revealed him to be none other than....
-------------------- "Hey Jim! Get Mon out of the Zone!! And...when do we get Condo back?"
From: Paragon City on patrol | Registered: Jul 2003
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Somewhere Else in the space/time continum, or conundrum as the case may be...
Something Amazing and Non-Sequitor sat down to a scrumpdillishious meal of fried chicken and mixed metaphors.
Which was actually amazing not because they were in the Amazing Cave, which they were, but because Non-Sequitor wasn't really there. But the solid light image of Non-Sequitor that was there for mysterious and totally unknown reasons had wrapped the tablecloth around his head and was using the fried chicken to channel the spirit of Foghorn Leghorn. What news of imprtance the spirit of Foghorn Leghorn gave the phony Non-Sequitor we will not know for at least three pages, because I said so.
Something Amazing failed to notice any of this as he was busy preparing a basket of split infinitives with shrimp and watercress. For desert he planned to serve Key Bannananana Pie with Liver and Walnut Ice Cream.
He dearly hoped that the LMBP would appreciate his thoughtfullness and reward him with an autographed tee-shirt.
Just thought you'd like to know this.
Now back to our story...
[ October 24, 2003, 07:35 AM: Message edited by: Almost But Not Quite New Kid ]
-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Bagpipe Boy was revealed to be none other than yet another of ANBNQKid's alter egos, this time he was trying to trace his family tree when a freak lightning bolt blew a book on Scots ancestry through a radioactive meteorite shower into a trans-dimensional Bag Pipe set that just happened to be passing by on a year out from the University of Dundee(as they do, see them everywhere these day) and it collided full onto ANBNQKid's face and, trust me- I'm a teacher - he was deeply affected on a subatomic level, somehow or another (and lets face facts, realistic scientific effects aren't really a prerequisite here so I'll skip this semi-psuedo-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo soon)and the Being who would become known one day as Bagpipe Boy was born.
Now your homework tonight class is to say that last serntence (bit in brackets included) three times really fast without stopping for breath and rtemember to have a paramedics number on re-dial for afterwards.
Class dismissed.
And While Harbinger gets over a traumatic days teaching by pouring herself another glass of wine someone else can (please!!) take over this story for a post or two.
Please.
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
And as everyone on this board has obviously been watching my third years and have decided to mimic them and do the opposite of what I ask I'll continue, but be warned! I haven't read this thread all the way through so it may all go horribly wrong. In which case there's only one solution that could bring happiness and peace of mind to you, grentle reader, and that quite simply is to blame Sonnie as he introduced me to this board!
Now before we get to with the story a quick recap - ANBNQKid has been revealed as none other that Bagpipe Boy, who as we are all aware is automatically wanted for crimes against Scottish Heritage in whichever reality he appears! In fact on Earth 616 recently the Blob, that arch villain who looks remarkably like my departmental boss incidently (only she has more facial hair and a nice range in black dresses)... anyway... Fred J Dukes sat on him after a large meal of Mexican thrice fried beans and carbonated cabbage water and we can guess that the explosion that followed BB trying to produce a sonic attack resulted in him being blown into this reality.
Well it's a suggestion anyway.
So where are we again?
Oh yes, Cramer inspiringly suggested we stop for tea and biscuits, and that sounds like a jolly good idea only I have to post something that might add to this story.
Here goes...
In a moment of pure wonderful coincidence, you know that one-in-a-million shot that somehow always manages to work out? Yes that sort (Gawd it's great to re-read Terry Pratchett after several years off)the Two Loris decide to simaltaneously dial their H dials and to everyones total amazement the BOTH become "Return to Original Dimension Girl" and in activating their dimension hopping talent they produce a great POOOF! of multi coloured smoke, sparks and a strange slightly musky smelling multi coloured cloth doorway that looks vaguely familiar to Crujectra.
"Oh my , it's an entrance to Senor Widebottom's amazing pantaloons" She cries with a cute little clap of her hands and a bounce of her pert breasts.
"You know what that means?" She asks, "It means......."
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Meanwhile back at the other place, which is of course different from the place we just were, Fat Cramer sighed heavily as she watched Whordru trip herself for the 27th consecutive time.
"Why," She (FC not Whordru) asked herself, "do I always end up leading the team against the more ridiculous of the two possible threats?"
Deciding that she had plenty of time to assess the situation (Whordru had just fallen again) FC looked at her team with a coldly speculative eye.
Sonnie Boy and Harbinger were still arguing in that obscure Scottish dialect. Numf-El had given up on trying to separate them and started playing a game of chess with Outdoor Miner. Petty Officer Marvin was eyeing Rody the Super Rat (Where the hell did he come from?) speculatively, but FC couldn't tell if the Brood Sailor was hungry or horny (randy?) and to be honest didn't really want to know. ABNQNKid stood a little way away from the loud scottish argument furiously scribbling notes in a small notebook. Blockade Boy seemed to have dissapeared, again. Only Vee appeared to have even noticed Whordru's less than furious assault on them.
FC then gave the eye back to it's owner, Coldly Speculative Lass, who swiftly departed.
"Well," She thought, "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."
With her mind made up she nodded at Vee, who smiled and waved his hand negligently in the direction of Whordru. Whordru immediately began to shrink. Within seconds she had gone from being a 40 foot tall, beautiful (but very heavily bearded) woman to being a 4'11' short, beautiful (but now extremely heavily bearded) woman, because Vee had shrunk everything but her beard. She fell again, but this time no one noticed because she was lost in a sea of hair.
FC then began to stalk her nearly helpless foe...
[ October 23, 2003, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: Almost But Not Quite New Kid ]
-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
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